Am I just being insensitive?

Arwen - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I was recently on a mommy forum, and one of the ladies there had a siggy with her kids in it. I had thought the infant looked very strange, and underneath here was a ticker--missing baby for 3 years...--that pretty much said why I thought the child had looked deceased.

It's a horrible picture. I can't imagine what it's like to have a stillborn child, and my heart goes out to the lady. But am I wrong to not want to see a photograph of a deceased infant? They blur out the photos of bodies on the news. What makes this OK? Isn't it worse?

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Jane - posted on 09/12/2009

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keep in mind that it's the only way she ever knew her child. count your blessings.

Crystal - posted on 09/10/2009

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I wouldnt really know how to react to that, my aunt gave birth to my cousin who was still born a few years ago and has always had pictures of them holding her up around the house, they are soooo sad to look at she was a beautiful baby but she is compleatley purple she had passed a little more than 24 hours before she was delivered, So I can see how you may see them as creepy

[deleted account]

I'm sorry that the picture upset you. I think she is right to share the picture with her Mom group. I'm reading these comments and I think that most people aren't understanding. She's on a Mom's group and sharing pictures of all of her children just like you would. It isn't creepy. She isn't going outside and asking strangers to look at her pictures. It's OK to not understand and it's good that you don't "have" to understand it. But to her it is just another one of her children. That's what the baby is. It's very sad and very tragic that she lost her child.

Honestly, you can't help how you feel just like she can't help how she feels. But her sharing a picture of her entire family is not wrong. Her child died, but is still very much a child.

OLGA - posted on 09/07/2009

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I wouldn't do it. Everybody is free to express their feelings and that wouldn't be my way, but I respect. If I had to have a memory of my child, I wouldn't want it to be like that.

Kylie - posted on 09/07/2009

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I understand where your coming from i wouldn't like to see something like that either only because of the heartbreak i knoe she as a parent must feel..i have never lost any ofmy children and i hope i am lucky enough to out live them all..the reason this probably unsettled you is because it reminds us of our and our own childrens mortality..

Courtney - posted on 09/07/2009

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I think that is a bit creepy too -- but to each his own. I can't stand open casket funerals either! I went to my Papa's and now I can only think of him looking all painted up and weird instead of remembering him as alive and the good person he was. I can understand for some people who need "closure", but I can understand your viewpoint -- that should be a personal thing, not something to use in a signature online.

Arwen - posted on 09/07/2009

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OK, I can actually understand having it for yourself and your family. Maybe it is how she's putting it in a public forum.

Skittles - posted on 09/07/2009

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I beleive my friend has some up but thats because we asked her if she would. We were like a big family and she is very much missed.My DD wasn't around when it happened and I still haven't found a way to tell her. She will be broken by the news because she loved those twins.We are geting over the loss so to speak but never will see be forgotten.

Cmquist - posted on 09/07/2009

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It is different. Sounds like she's still grieving. I know people who have a photo taken of their child but to have it in a public photo is odd

Skittles - posted on 09/07/2009

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one of my best freinds lost her baby when she was 11 months old and she has pics of her at the hospital after she past on. Its sad to see them but she also looks at peace. I don't see them as creepy at all.This was that last time she got to hold her Sweet lil angel.Though its sad to see them we will alway charish those pictures because thats the last time we got to see her. There was no reason for her dealth. they did many test and never found a reason. So I think that made it all the harder for all of us.

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