Am I the only one who feels this way?

Candice - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 62 moms have responded )

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I stay at home with my girls. I have a 23 month old daughter, 10 month old daughter and a 5 year old stepdaughter. I love staying home with my girls and I wouldn't have it any other way. My husband works second shift so he's gone all evening. I AM BORED! I do the same thing every single day, I defenitly stay busy but I am still bored with doing the same thing all day every day! What can I do to change things up a little for me and my kids? It's cold out now so playing outside is out now. Does anyone else feel this way?

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Amanda - posted on 10/20/2009

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I feel the same way!! I have a 3 year old little girl and a 3 month old little boy,so my days consist of keeping my 3 year old happy and newborn care. I never let the weather keep me inside!! I bundle up the baby and my daughter and we go outside and collect leaves and look at bugs and she rides her bike. I dont let there scheduals keep me at home either,if its naptime when were out,take a nap while were there or they can take a nap when we get home. Mommies have needs just like the kiddos and were not being a bad mom when we do somthing that we need to do to keep us from going crazy! Even if it means taking a trip to the mall with the babies!!!!

Nicole - posted on 10/19/2009

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My husband also works the second shift so he's not here in the evenings either. I have a 10 month old little boy and some of the fun stuff we do is go to a museum around here that has critters and fun stuff to touch and Chuck E. Cheese! I get bored too, especially when we can't go outside! Try googling stuff like "indoor playgrounds" or "family fun centers" and stuff like that with your zip code and see if you can find anything. I used to work at a daycare, and we had a theme for each week. If you had the time, you could try coming up with a "lesson plan" each week. Like this week we'll learn about fish so you go to the library and get books about fish, go to the pet store and look at fish, make fish theme snacks and crafts, etc. You get the idea. You can tailor it to their ages, make things a little easier for the younger ones and a little harder for the older one.

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Sarah - posted on 10/25/2009

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Find a local Mops (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. It's a great way to meet other women and make some great friends. Go to www.mops.org and put in your city and state. They will tell you where it is and when they meet. Our Mops have bible studies, coffee times, etc. You can find other Moms that have the same age group of kids, so you can have playdates. Good Luck!!

Laurie - posted on 10/25/2009

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Yeah, I've definitely felt that way on numerous occassions through the past several years. Have you joined a local mom's club yet? That may help you switch up your day to day activities and get you some much needed adult face time.

Cambrey - posted on 10/25/2009

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I was a single mom for most of my son's life...dad was not in the picture...so I had to juggle work, school and a baby...I was overwhelmed and underappriciated. One thing my therapist told me that stays with me today is to do something at least 2x a month just for you...go out with the girls (that are your age) go to the library and read etc. Since your husband is home during the day (and awake part of it I am assuming) plan it with him. Since I got married a year + ago, I try to keep doing these things for me even though I don't work right now, it is the only thing that keeps me feeling like I still have a life

Shona - posted on 10/24/2009

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SCRAPBOOK is the answer, after the girls go to bed and the house is quiet....you must have plenty of photos to catch up on

Cindy - posted on 10/24/2009

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I know just how you feel! My husband has flooping hours 2 weeks days and 2 weeks night, but there are some days from 7 to 7 or 8 to 8...when he works days and after he eats,takes a shower and maybe try to spend at least 30 min with us he goes to bed and I am left up and a lone once again. On the nights well he sleeps all day and works at night not much to say about that....I always feel alone and bored. My husband is also going back to school to be a paramedic so there really aint much time together. I don't let him really know how I feel b/c I know he is woking all the over time he can just so I can stay home with our 3yr old. I can never find that much stuff to do with our son, going outside well not this summer the ants have tooken over the yard and his toys and we have not found anything that will work for them. So we pretty much stay closed in doors which after a while make me so depressed that at times I feel like giving up or have any where to turn. I love being a stay home mom,but not having any adults to talk to well that really sucks. I can't just get in the car and go any where b/c since we have one income we have one car. I so know how you are feeling and for all us bored stay at home moms hope it gets better soon.

Stacey - posted on 10/24/2009

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I think every mother feels the monotouness drum roll of life when she decides to stay home, your by far not the only one! You still have 2 little one's, along with one in Kindergarten or close to it, so your not in the MOPS age for now, but you can still try and get out of the house everyday, at least for a little while. Try a Mc Donalds with an indoor play yard if there is one near you, chuck e cheese might be better to include the 10 month old too, we used to go for a walk in the mall too. Anything to get out of the house for awhile, and it's good for the kids to get out and walk/play, and get fresh air too.

Charlotte - posted on 10/24/2009

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Quoting Candice:

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I stay at home with my girls. I have a 23 month old daughter, 10 month old daughter and a 5 year old stepdaughter. I love staying home with my girls and I wouldn't have it any other way. My husband works second shift so he's gone all evening. I AM BORED! I do the same thing every single day, I defenitly stay busy but I am still bored with doing the same thing all day every day! What can I do to change things up a little for me and my kids? It's cold out now so playing outside is out now. Does anyone else feel this way?



I UNDERSTAND I FEEL LONELY AND DEPRESSED TOO..  I JUST PLAY GAMES ON THE COMPUTER WHEN I GET BORED OR HAVE A FRIEND COME OVER...MY HUSBAND IS A TRUCK DRIVER AND NOT HOME MUCH HE WILL BE GONE A;LL WEEK THIS WEEK AND I AM GOING TO LOOSE IT.....SO I AM CALLING MY FREIND TO TAKE MY 2 BOYS FOR AWHILE SO I CAN HAVE A BREAK.

Mary - posted on 10/24/2009

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I responded the other day about being lonely as a stay at home mom.....

I almost lost him, 30 hours before our wedding. Life is so precious and fragile. I don't want to waste a minute, let go of cherished moments for a second. I am thinking of bath time when she was a baby, and cooking dinner together, getting a fire going on a cold night & snuggleing up. The every day stuff we hurry by when we are trying to do "important" stuff.

I cancelled and un-cancelled the wedding in the same afternoon. My wedding cheesecake is in the oven, I have made the entire dinner tonight (with the help of a friend for a few hours). I can't sleep. I have been waiting my whole life to marry the man of my dreams (just like all little girls) and it almost slipped through my fingers. All the planning and comprimses, having to find a different minister at the last minute, 90% chance of rain and we didn't get the teepee or the canopy up today for the ceremony at noon tomorrow. The house where the reception is has a bachelor living in the living room, I never got a chance to clean it today. Everything has fallen apart, and I don't care.
All I want is my husband in my arms. To feel the warmth of his skin against mine. To hear him breathing, his heartbeat, the smell of his body. To fall asleep feeling safe next to the man I love.

Remind me of this when I am mad at him because his wet socks are on the floor 20 feet from the laundry pile. Or when he works all day and then goes hunting, bags a deer and is dressing it all night. Remind me this when ... all those times....

Remind me how my body went cold when he asked me for his nitro, his face white with tears in his eyes, and then took another. Remind me God how I prayed for just one more day, one more chance to love him.

Remind me when I am lonely...... that he is here in my life, loving me to the best of his ability. Because the truth is one day he won't be.

Hold them while you have them, and don't let go.

J - posted on 10/23/2009

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I totally understand. I have been a SAHM for 8 years. It is by far the hardest job I know. The only advise I can give you is join a moms group. I joined one in my town when my daughter was 10 months old. The best thing I ever did. You have other SAHM's to befriend, kids to play with, etc.

If there isn't one in your town...create one. I'm sure you are not the only one. Another thing...find a trusted babysitter or grandparents that would take them so you can have some alone time or go out with friends. You need to regenerate. I know that one is hard...but, very well worth it. I hope that helps.

Priscilla - posted on 10/23/2009

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WOW! I thought it was just me. I dont have time for friends or to meet new people. Being a mom is very very very hard and my mom made it look so easy!

Lauren - posted on 10/23/2009

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Its so nice to see that I'm not crazy, I'm also not the only one who feels this way. It's just too bad its so hard to meet people around us, look how many random strangers there are posting on here in the exact same place. Why cant we just all get together and help eachother out in the community, not from behind our computers. We all just need friends, thats it, its simple but yet doesnt happen.

Carrie - posted on 10/22/2009

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you are not alone....i donno a stay at home mom who doesn't feel this way.....i live that way...restless all the time....even when i'm slam busy....hang in there....

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009

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Ha! I totally understand! Funny thing is, I just posted this same question in another group!

My husband drives our semi over the road, so he is gone all week and sometimes the weekend, I am lonely too! My family lives 65 miles away, so I don't see them as much as I would like to! If I hear of any different ideas in the other group I'll relay them back to you!

Samantha - posted on 10/22/2009

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YES! oh my gosh i feel the exact same way. i only have an 18 month old boy but i stay at home every day and do the same exact things every single day. it literally drives me crazy!

Sarah - posted on 10/22/2009

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I understand how you feel. My husband works long hours durring the day, and so when he comes home he's ually grouchy and just ends up fighting with our 2 year old. I have a micro preemie also and so that limits the type of public activity that we can do. I had recently decided to start going to an indoor play gym so that my 2 year old could socialize and have some fun. But we all ened up sick and the Caitlin my preemie almost ened up in the hospital. I feel so isolated and understand where your coming from.

Kendra - posted on 10/22/2009

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That's good. My son is a year and 3 months old and a lot of my friends don't have kids or they are much older or much younger so its hard to find a playmate for him especially since we are moving to texas in like 2 weeks so hopefully he can find a playmate down there!

[deleted account]

I'm a stay-at-home mom too, and I fully understand that bored and lonely feeling. It's like no one has time for you anymore, and if your kids are really little, you find yourself talking to the empty house and wonder, "What happened?" Fortunately, my bf saw this happening and started sending me out to our favorite hangout just to get some social activity and on weekends I run the karaoke show at the same place now, it's nice.

Kendra - posted on 10/22/2009

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i feel the same way im a stay at home mom also. im trying to figure stuff to do also but like you said its cold out now so outside is out of the picture. But if I think of anything I will tell you and hopefully you will do the same!! Have a good day!
Kendra

Shantae - posted on 10/22/2009

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boy do I!!!!! I was a working mom up until the past year about. I have my oldest when i was in 10th grade and have busted my but working to take care of my kids until i got married recently and became a stay at home mom....what a real job HUH! lol i commend those of you who do this calmly lol. We have 5 kids our 7yr old our nephew we care for who is 7 our twins will be 3 in december and our daughter just turned 1. its work and im not sure what friends even are lol......i try my best to have the most fun with my kids specially the twins because the older two are usually in school and the house can usually stand the little ones all day.....i just try to do anything like playing with their toys and games to make time go by faster. although around 830 when bedtime hits i am ready to watch my own shows and just sit down.

Annette - posted on 10/22/2009

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try an indoor picnic. just spread te blanket in the middle of the floor and pretend

story time at a local library, craft store

Emily - posted on 10/22/2009

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it is hard and lonely...i try to get together with girlfriends who stay at home too as much as possible. i've started to go to the gym. our gym has a babysitting area. it's helped me to "get away" for an hour...i watch trash tv while working out!:-)

Jennifer - posted on 10/22/2009

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yes! all the time. I feel like I do the same thing everyday. my husband works during the day though. I like to do crafts with my 3 year old and play "school" He doesnt cooperate much so its kinda frustrating.

Justine - posted on 10/22/2009

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YES! Espeacially this time of year, find a storytime group, or make a "mommy group," with friends (everyone take a differ. time hosting at each others house , to mix up the sceneary) i do this and it helps ALOT! hope it comes in handy for you , good luck :)

Tiffany - posted on 10/22/2009

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try doing crafts with them like I am going to take my daughter out and look for pine cones then put glitter on them for thanksgiving and christmas

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009

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Take them to places they can play indoor. Your local mall may have a playground inside (ours does)! Im not sure where else, but there are lots of indoor activities. Arts & crafts is good too!

Di Anna - posted on 10/22/2009

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I have been a stay-at-home step-mom (of 4, sometimes 5) for 9 years now....the boredom & loneliness still hasn't gone away.
for a looong time my husband also worked 2nd shift, and we had only 1 car. there are days when we all just sat and vegetated

[deleted account]

Quoting Candice:

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I stay at home with my girls. I have a 23 month old daughter, 10 month old daughter and a 5 year old stepdaughter. I love staying home with my girls and I wouldn't have it any other way. My husband works second shift so he's gone all evening. I AM BORED! I do the same thing every single day, I defenitly stay busy but I am still bored with doing the same thing all day every day! What can I do to change things up a little for me and my kids? It's cold out now so playing outside is out now. Does anyone else feel this way?



the only thing i can add to that is.....at this point with them being so small is to just grine and bare it it'll be this way for a long time. been there done that got the t-shirt.I have rasied 4 of them. they ae ages...18 17 16 13....so with little money and having them so small. you just have to be thankful you have a husband who is willing to pick up a second shift to make sure things are paid! me as if now...i have no choice to stay at home cuz we can not afford to kill ourselves for me tohave to get a second car payment..and then all the money go to that car. i don't have time to work. i am the only way all of us get picked up and dropped off. my dad starts at 2:30am until about midnight. that is everyday.i know what you mean but just be thankful for what you do have and be content. this economy is gona get even worse as time goes on like it is! Be Blessed♥

Katherine - posted on 10/21/2009

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I was feeling the same way until I started getting out more. I have a friend with a similarly aged boy, so we meet with her once or twice a week. I go to story time at the library, to the mall, to the zoo, to the children's museum, to Ikea, wherever. Just out of the house a few times a week. Also, even if it's cold, bundle up the kids and get them out for a while every day. The sunlight is good for them, and the fresh air will make sure they're getting good sleep.

Stephanie - posted on 10/21/2009

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I do! I love staying home with my baby girl and we have another one on the way, but I miss my work so bad it's not funny! But, I didn't make enough money to pay for child care. I don't have any friends around here that stay home and I feel cut off from the world a lot of the time.

Elaine - posted on 10/21/2009

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totally feel them same and im only 26 so I dont have others to relate to none of my friends have kids

Kelli - posted on 10/21/2009

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My husband works a lot of 10-12 hour days so I've gotten creative on changing things up for the kids. For dinner every once in a while we will have a picnic in the living room. I also set up some different activities for different days like on Friday we bake, on Thursday playdough, Wednesday we dance to music, Tuesday we read poetry, and Monday we do some sort of craft. And even if it is cold I still bundle them up and sent them outside.

Amanda - posted on 10/21/2009

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amy talk to your husband about teh alone time.... let him know that your feeling depressed and down and you really need it. even if just for a few hours on his day off or something. my one day a week helps so very much, i feel happy for that little bit cause i get to be around people..and i don't feel as isolated..kinda like resetting the week instead of living a never endeing week.

Amy - posted on 10/21/2009

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I feel the same!! My husband works so many hours during the day and sometimes after coming home, he's still doing conference calls. Aside from that, he also has a side job project and it's taking so much of his time. I felt like I am doing my mommy duties 24/7 by myself. Sometimes I couldn't help from not feeling sad and depressed. Even though my twins can entertain themselves and its the 3 of us at home, but I still feel very lonely. There are times I do some online shopping, but deep inside I'm still not happy... I think what I really need is at least one day out of the week for my "alone time", but I sure don't see it happening anytime soon. =(

Amanda - posted on 10/21/2009

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ist amzing knowing that all the othe rmother sexpieriance the same thing. some of my firends are like your living the life..no owrk all play...but its exhausting and when your kids are doing thre own things it's lonly beyond belief. no matter what i do to stay busy i'm lonly and sad...i find vitimins help with a bit of the mood, but i still feel lonley just not as rundown about it. my husband take me to go visit with people from his office 1 time a week..thats very nice i know he'd rather be home. WE don't exactly know anyone we jsut moved to tyndall afb and still getting to know people. i feel very isolated...but i guess its seems that its the normal life of a stay at home mom.

Mary - posted on 10/21/2009

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Quoting chrissy:

its sad we all feel this way we all ove our kids and enjoy being at home with them its just a shame that we r in the same rut and cant do anything to help our selfs and eachother


 



We are helping each other .... right here.  We may feel isolated and alone, but right here on our computers we are together, we can reach out to each other.  It's not as good as one of those hugs you get... you know the ones, where all the crap melts away and we sink into the arms of a friend.  Aut at least here we can do that with words.



I Love You... To all the mommies that don't hear it enough and need it today or tomorrow....



here is your hug...... 



Love you ....



 

Sue - posted on 10/21/2009

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I felt this way when my girls were 6,3,2, and newborn. The key is to find some other moms to talk to and find a way to do something for yourself at least once a week, most gyms have babysitting available. A little physical exercise will make you feel great! If you can find a yoga class even better!

Chrissy - posted on 10/20/2009

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its sad we all feel this way we all ove our kids and enjoy being at home with them its just a shame that we r in the same rut and cant do anything to help our selfs and eachother

Jessica - posted on 10/20/2009

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You are not alone. Before having my 3 yr old son I couldnt wait to stop working and stay home with him. Now 3 yrs later I am torned b/c I am considering going back to work. I know it will be good for the two of us b/c we will both make new friends but I am so worried about now being with him. You just can't win in this situation I guess.

Kristy - posted on 10/20/2009

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i can totally relate to your situation my fiance is gone from 2:30 pm till 12:30 am and it sucks and i have a 23month old and a 7month old. and i hate doing the same thing everyday. and i hate how i get no sleep i get up early with the kids and i stay up till he gets home to make dinner for him but he doesn't ever get up till at least noon and it makes me soo mad

Desiree - posted on 10/20/2009

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Bordem def describes it! I only have one child he is now 7 but when he was an infant I thought I was going crazy from 24/7 mommy time. I didnt have any family to surround myself in. My hubby worked 13 hour shifts alot. I agree with alot of the other moms about mom clubs it really helps. also Im not sure of your income situation but Gymboree was a life saver for me. It was nice talking to other moms and watching my son interact with others. I also advise doing something for yourself once a week. even if it is finding a quiet space and reading a cpl chapters in a book. Even supermom needs to pamper herself a bit!!

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

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I can totally sympathize! I'm juggling 3 with differing schedules and we homeschool, so it's certainly a balancing act! Like others have mentioned, Moms groups/Playgroups are a lifesaver. (we also belong to a homeschool group that does a ton) Our groups even do holiday parties/events for the kids. I really have to decide what we can and can't do or we'd be busy all day, every day. We also live in a small community, in the country, so we end up having to drive about 45 min. It has it's good and bad. On the plus side, there's time for a quick nap in the car there and back. (when they cooperate) My kids are thrilled to get out! We also love the soft play areas at our malls. My problem is I have a hard time striking up conversation with other moms.

Erin - posted on 10/20/2009

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I know how you feel. I have 3 little ones of my own and feel like it's either chaos or boredom. I miss that adult connection--even though I have great girl friends sometimes I need something for myself. I have recently started working part time marketing for a wellness company. I really love it since the team I work with is from all over the country I can do many of the phone calls at night whent he kids are in bed. I love connecting with this really great group of women who serve as my emotional caffine when I need it most! I also love making some extra money either for myself or for extras for the kids. If you are interested in learning about it for yourself please let me know.



Erin

Laura - posted on 10/20/2009

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I know how you feel! I have a 2 month old so there is no playing with her either way no matter what the weather! My husband is gone all day long and everyone that i could talk to or have over is working during the day too! i get bored out of y mind cause I am constantly doing the same thing over and over!!! It seems like a big circle!

Sabrina - posted on 10/20/2009

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I felt the same way!! Then I found this GREAT mommies group that is an online forum and has face to face events too!! It has been a life saver!! They are ALL over the USA and it is a great way to meet other moms and not go crazy as a stay at home mom!

Heather - posted on 10/20/2009

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I feel this way as well! I have just gotten my children into activities that they can meet other kids and I can meet other moms. It helps to establish play dates and be able to be more social instead of just talking to children all day!

Nickee - posted on 10/20/2009

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I do understand completely.I am constantly trying to figure out new things to do.sometimes i get on line and we find a new recipe or a new craft, by the time we are done doing the activity we chose for the day we are reay for dinner and bath etc....i hope this helps a little.....

Tara - posted on 10/20/2009

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i find it hard to find time for myself my husband helps but with him being in the military and having to get up at 4:30 in the morning hes tired when he get home and i have really hard trust issues when it comes to people watching my kids so i try to find time and when i do get it i enjoy it

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