Am i to young to be a stay at home mom?

Rhonda - posted on 01/17/2012 ( 52 moms have responded )

165

2

3

I am only 23 years old. I have 2 kids. A 5 year old in March and a 8 month old.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lori - posted on 01/19/2012

1,515

9

639

Rhonda, I think many of us moms found that friendships changed after we became moms. It's just not the same hanging out with your friends who don't have kids anymore and they probably want to do things that you as a responsible parent don't want to do or can't do. That's not necessarily based on age - it's because you're a mom. Friendships change when you become a mom whether you become a mom at age 16 or age 36. Some of the others suggested a moms group. I think that's a great idea. I've recently joined Mom'sClub. They have chapters all over. Look them up online or ask around if anyone you know has kids they might know of some sort of moms group. If your 5 year old is in preschool ask some of the other parents if they know of any groups. It's really important to find friends who you can connect with and do things with - and when you have little ones it's much easier to do things with other moms with little ones. Even just the occasional play date can bring sanity to a SAHM's life.

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2012

378

18

29

Hubby taking you out for dancing and fun definitely sounds like a good idea.

We all have those "I just want to get out" feelings from time to time. Don't feel guilty! ;)

Niki - posted on 01/17/2012

321

2

30

really your not missing out on much, a bunch of drunks and possibly a drunk driver out on the roads when your out.....my kids are number 1, yea i wanted to have partying days, but really whats more important my kids or out drinking etc...not saying this is you....your never too young as other moms have done it - younger!

Valerie - posted on 01/22/2012

240

22

12

totally agree with Lori. I have a friend who is late 20s, still works, and lost a lot of friends when she had a baby. it's just what happens. I went to the local library to meet other moms, and also found a church with lots of kids in it. it sucks that you have to make new friends but it's the way it is. once you meet other parents, you can trade off watching each other's kids, leave the kids home with daddy and start getting out of the house. it's not selfish to need some me time! if you don't take care of yourself, your kids won't be happy either! good luck!

Aimee - posted on 01/21/2012

63

31

0

NO, im a stay at home mom as well, im 24 and i have a 4 year old and 2 year old. i love being a stay at home mom. if you enjoy it thats all that matters.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

52 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

I am 25 years old and my son is going to be 5 in march. If you're imagine me I have been a stay at home mom since I was 20 years old. I do get the Are you planning to work questions. It does get irritated because my son only goes to pre k for 2 hours from 12:10PM to 2:25PM. Daycare cost money and to hire a complete stranger to sit my son is ot the question. I prefer to wait til my son goes to full time school to look for a part time job.



In my situation is more financial. When I was working in 2009-2010 it was difficult to balance because I didn't had a steady schedule. Everydy I would start different hours and it would intervene with picking up my son. My FH works in NYC so traffic is horrible. My mom would take care of my son on Sundays and if my FH and I are late to picky my son up she will do me the favor to pick him up. She would doher best to help but sometimes she would call me to get out of work an hr early so she can do her stuff. I worked, clean, pick my son up, and laundry. I developed depression because I wasn't happy the way I was handling home and work. So it all depends.



I love and sometimes don't like being a stay at home mom. I love being with my son and spending time with him and going out. The other hand I get a little depressed because I have no one to talk to. On top of that I get bored when my son goes to school. It's not about the age more of what is convenient for you and your family.

Jenny_D - posted on 02/27/2012

169

12

3

I was 23 when I first got pregnant and 24 when I started staying home. We have to remember that we (women) are made to be mothers and that there is no reason why you would be too young to stay home. The question, is do you think that you are mature enough to handle the work of staying home? Most likely you are just fine, but you are questioning it for some reason so maybe you just need some encouragement that you are the best person to raise your children. Make the best of it and try to have no regrets!

Kristin - posted on 02/27/2012

24

7

2

There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM at a young age. my oldest son will be 5 in Oct. of this year, my middle son will be 3 Nov. 5, and my youngest son will be 1 Nov. 29. I've stayed at home since my oldest was 6 months (not including his first 6 weeks). At that point in time I was 21 and wanted to go out with my friends and have that young 'party time' as well, but just looking in on my kids when they nap or checking in the middle of the night to make sure they still have their blankets and stuffed animals haven’t hit the floor is much more satisfying to me now.

We all at times feel stuck or slightly deprived of a ‘real life’ aka being able to take our time at the store or go shopping just for us with out feeling bad about spending a little more on a bra. Being a mom now means that most of your energy, time, money, and love will be for your children (yes dads that’s right the kids get lots more attention now then you ‘cus they are your babies…just wait till ya’ll have grand-babies lol). Rhonda just look at it another way (like me and my hubby) you will still be fairly young when the kids are all grown and go to college and start having your grand-babies. J And, there’s plenty of time to get a part-time job once everyone is in school.

Julie - posted on 02/25/2012

20

20

1

Age has nothing to do with being a SAHM. You have kids, you want to stay home, there you go.

Chrisandra - posted on 02/24/2012

83

71

6

Sweetie I became a SAHM to twins @ 27. Age has nothing to do with it. I lost friends too. It's all part of growing up. I'm still having a hard time taking me time. I find that I am always stressed, but when the opportunity comes up I don't take it. PLEASE go out & create some stories for yourself. At least I have that to hang on to...lol

Misty - posted on 02/22/2012

4

35

0

Of course not!! I had my first at 23, and I wish everyday I would have quite school and work. I stay at home with my two now, but I wish I always did. But I also know that some people love their little ones but just can't do the SAHM thing. You'll find what works for you. : )

Sofia - posted on 02/22/2012

263

12

80

I dont think there is an age restriction at how old a mom aught to be in order to be a stay at home mom. Maybe what you are wondering is if you should be going to school/college instead? Or working on having a career?

Well, usually at 23 yrs old that is what you would want to be doing. But if you decided to have children, many time you have to forgo some of those other things you would have otherwise done.

Depending on your particular situation, maybe you and dad can alternate shift. Many couples do that. Mom stays home during the day while dad works or goes to school, then mom works or goes to school while dad is home.

You might also have family that can help watch your little ones. I dont think there's anything wrong with letting grandparents watch the little one while parents are working.

Alison - posted on 02/21/2012

51

13

2

I agree if you can do it then do. I have 3 kid 3 and under. I love them. even on bad days. I was 24 and now am 28.

Briana - posted on 02/21/2012

34

0

1

your not to young to be a stay at home mamma. as long as your finances will allow it then go ahead, im lucky in the cens that i am only 19 and abel to be a stay at home mother i love every second of it

Cheyenne - posted on 02/21/2012

406

17

23

ill be 22 in may and ive been a sahm for 2 years. my son is 2 and my daughter is 7 weeks

Lyana - posted on 02/21/2012

21

21

2

You are definitely NOT too young to be a stay-at-home mom!



I had my first child at 23, and I was a stay-at-home mom from day one! I quit my job when I was 5 months pregnant, and I have never had a job since (she's 7 now). I also have a son (4 now) that will be starting school soon, and when he is in school, I will be doing lots of volunteer work at their school, but after that, I plan to take some part time college classes, and then after that, who knows? That will be about 5 years from now, so that is out of my planning range at this point.



Take heart, you are doing life in the proper order designed by God. Enjoy your little ones while you have the energy to chase after them, and give them twice as many hugs and kisses than you think they need.



Lyana

Sue - posted on 02/19/2012

17

11

0

if you can do it financially do it! I have never regretted quitting when my oldest was 2 to stay home. It is a blessing to be there for them when they need their mommy. I don't know how I would work full time now with 4 school age kids (16 to 9). Don't let other people tell you what to do, do what you need to do. by the way, I've been home with them for almost 14 years now and am 44 years old. don't regret giving up the 50+ hours a week grind one bit!

Loving Mother Of - posted on 02/13/2012

13

0

0

I would ask the same thing about myself im 24 and I have a 4month, 1yr, 2yr and a 3yr olds. But I love being a mom it frustrating but haveing your kids are the best gift God cangive to us

Geilyn - posted on 02/08/2012

2

9

0

Rhonda,

I am 25 yrs old with 3 young kiddos and I have been a stay at home since 2007. I enjoy it and it has benefited my children a lot, they are ahead of most kids their age because I am able to be home and teach them, help them learn and answer their why's to everything. Its rewarding! If its what you feel is right for your family, I say go for it. :)

- Geilyn

Christine - posted on 02/08/2012

49

27

1

i think you need to do whats right for you and your family. if you and your husband can afford it why not. most people dont understand also how much day care cost. if you were to work and put your child in day care would you just be working to pay that bill. i love being a stay at home mom. i love knowing that my babies 1st she is doing in front of me and not some one else. it would make me so sad if i had to put her in day care

Saraya - posted on 02/07/2012

52

27

5

No way! I had my daughter just before i turned 19 and we (my fiance and I) decided that i was going to be a stay at home mommy. One of the best decisions we have made, there is just so much you can miss. It's also just so rewarding. I agree with Leanndra, you're not missing out on anything :)

Jenna - posted on 02/07/2012

187

51

16

No, definitely not! I have friends who started staying home with their first child at the age of 19 or 20. I think there is so much power and influence a stay-at-home mom can have with her kids. Good luck to you!

Leanndra - posted on 02/07/2012

3

1

1

Don't worry you aren't missing out. Bars aren't what they are cracked up to be. I went to my first when I was 30. It was loud and dull. I think that the whole bar thing is for the young, unmarried and bored. Besides; you have two sweet little ones to love and take care of. Watching little ones grow is something that doesn't happen twice and they grow FAST. I was your age when I had my second. I understand how you feel. Try to find moms of kids your kids age. The moms will most likely be older then you, but no less fun to talk to and hang out with.

[deleted account]

I recently had the same question and with the aspirations of wanting to be a police officer it was very hard to make the choice. I am 22 and decided to stay at home with my three year old and seven year old step son until my child is able to go to school. In the meantime I will just finish school online and be mommy for the kids :)

Vanessa - posted on 02/06/2012

12

8

0

Absolutely not.. Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding job ever.. Enjoy your babies- they grow too fast :)

Christine - posted on 02/06/2012

35

17

2

I'm 22 and have been a stay at home mom since My son was born 5 days before I turned 20! I find it the most amazing and rewarding job ever! If your family can afford it there is no reason why you shouldn't do it. Age is not a thing you should worry about. : D

Debra - posted on 02/04/2012

151

76

6

I think not, If you can afford it, with the cost of daycare and all, you are better off taking care of your own children then you will know that they are well taken care of. I'm sure your babies will love you for spending that precious time with them...

Anika - posted on 01/31/2012

72

29

0

I've been a SAHM since 19, now 21 and still am. Plan to be til both my kids are in school (which is 5 years away).

Rhonda - posted on 01/22/2012

165

2

3

Lol i know, i thought he woukd have seen my ring! Or my $300 coach purse,lol.

[deleted account]

Holy! That exact same thing happened to me!! It was an older woman though, then she started going on about the struggles of a single teen mom. Not one of those represents me!! lol

Rhonda - posted on 01/22/2012

165

2

3

I donno, seems like people look at you differently. I was at the store one time with my baby girl, and this old fellow came along and said " mywife wanted me to ask if you would be offended if i gave this to you" it was $10!!.. I told him no no i dont need that. He was a pretty funny guy. He then said "i just thought i would ask, my wife told me too". It was nice of him or them to do that thou.

Elisha - posted on 01/21/2012

13

13

0

Im 18 with a 15 month old and ive been a stay at home mum since i was pregnant, I see no problem in it especially if you have a wee one :)

Hollyanne - posted on 01/21/2012

97

31

5

I'm 24 and had my son when I was 22. He's 20 months now. I have been a stay at home mom since I was 29 weeks pregnant due to being put on bed rest. My husband says I can stay home with him as long as we can afford it. So I plan on staying home until he starts is a bit older.



I don't go out or party or anything like that. My husband and I will have a date night once in a while. I have lost most of my friends too which is weird since quite a few of them have kids around my son's age.



Hope everything works out for you.

[deleted account]

It is hard being young. Money is always a big factor in everything. Do you drive? I would try to find some Mommy groups in your area. They have all different kinds. Just keep reminding yourself this is just one short moment is a life time of moments and things will get better. Do you go to church? If so maybe some Moms there would be great to talk to. Sounds like you just need someone who has been there done that to talk to and to be a close friend.

Rhonda - posted on 01/19/2012

165

2

3

I hope i am not sounding selfish or anything, im not trying to. Its just when we got married it was in Vegas, it was prolly pretty much our honey moon. Well his brother hung out with us most of the time! Well i pretty much lost all of my friends, they either stopped talking to me or betrayed me. My husband does not reallt play games. We go to the casino sometimes, but that kinda sucks cuz ya lose your money ,lol. I love playing with my kids. Its so fun watching them grow,learn new words. Sometimes i just get really stressed out though. Cuz my husband is actually ALWAYS home, cuz he works at home doing stocks. He hates leaving the computer, cuz then he misses good deals. The only time i get to go out is at the store, that sucks too cuz ya have to lose your money there too, lol.

[deleted account]

I became a housewife at 18, a SAHM when I was 20. If it works for you and your S/O then age doesn't play a factor.

Sara - posted on 01/18/2012

18

1

3

Rhonda, It is said that "Home Is Where The Heart Is"--There is so much more to life than going out with friends and drinking, but I could understand how you might feel like your missing out when your boyfriend/husband? talks about how much "fun" he had when he went out. Do you want to go out so that your able to get your friends back? There are many different ways to have fun...you can do movie night with your baby's dad and other friends who have children..maybe potluck? play pictionary, scrabble..and/or if you have family that is willing to watch your baby for a couple hours..go out to a comedy club with your husband and maybe dinner ..enjoy drinks at home in the comfort of your own room...Basically Rhonda, Fun is how you create it...try to include your baby in your fun too though...becuase remember..although we may feel we are missing out on things and not having "fun" with our friends or the way we imagine...we fail to miss the BIG PICTURE..which is the FUN that our children bring us with their simple smiles...funny talk...laughs and how much fun they have JUST having mommy n daddy around! if you need a break..then ask your baby's dad to watch the baby while you go enjoy a pedicure/manicure...or massage...you can always Google different ways to have fun with your man and children...cheap places to go to...free places...and things to do by yourself on a decent budget! I wish you all the best of luck on your journey to finding the Fun you so desire in your life...just make sure your making healthy choices in how you choose to have your fun- so that you dont lose yourself or your man in the process.. involve your family most of the time...your baby's dad will like that your thinking of him and including him to have some fun with you...plus, you will also show him that you make him and your child top priority..he wont think your being childish or selfish and "JUST" want to go out:)..take care and God Bless you and your family;)

Sofia - posted on 01/18/2012

77

1

3

lol no I just turned 23 yesterday. I have a 5yr old and a 2 yr old and I love everything about it, wouldnt change it for the world. But it also depends on what you want in life.

Sarahann - posted on 01/18/2012

27

0

0

no not at all i just turn 22 when i became a stay at home mom i loved being able to stay at home with my son when he was born.soon after i had him i found out i was pregnant again with my second son.it can be hard being home all the time but it is so much better for your children to be raised by you and not a daycare worker.also you wont miss all the little milestones a baby goes through.i am now 27 and have three kids 4,5 and 4 months. i much rather be home with my children than having a job outside the home being a mother is the best job of all.thats just how i feel anyways.you still can be young feeling and be a stay at home mommy if thats what your worried about plus you are going to be the young hot mom when you kids finish school!! lol. this is what you need to do have your husband take you out once a month to bar or club and get a sitter. you can look forward to going out and get that that need out of your system.also you need one eveing a week you can go out and do something for your self and have your husband watch the kids. trust me this will help tons.

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to go out and have time to yourself. I wouldn't recommend a bar or club, but you do need a social life, and some time away from kids and family.



Join a mom's group to meet other moms. You'll have to meet a TON before you find a few you click with, but once you do, you'll have friends on the same level. Sure, most of your time out will involve playdates for the kids, but you still get adult interaction, and eventually, you will be close enough to plan some grown-up time out. You can leave the kids with Dad for an evening, or you can rotate sitters--one friend keeps the kids while the others go out, then rotate.



If you've never experienced the "single 20's bar scene" it is understandable that you want to do those things that most of us moms are just "over". Ask your husband to take you out dancing. Leave the kids with a sitter to spend the night, hire a car, and have at it! Don't do it every weekend, but if you want to do it once, go for it, but bring your husband.

Rhonda - posted on 01/17/2012

165

2

3

Of course my kids are number one!. It would just be fun to go out, by myself, time to myself. I am no drunk, i cant even drink two or three, im slow when i do drink. I lost all of my friends, they have befriended me.

Pooja - posted on 01/17/2012

8

0

1

Your decision of staying at home is not because of your age it's because of your situation....... I have 2 kids too they can not be left alone at home. Even I feel like going out have some friends or just go out with my husband but one thing I know that this phase is to be enjoyed and cherished.... Try not get too influenced by the negative thoughts ( they are natural)

Niki - posted on 01/17/2012

321

2

30

hun i started being a SAHM since 19 yrs old lived a sheltered life as well, you need to find some "me" time and go through w / it. trust me...

Rhonda - posted on 01/17/2012

165

2

3

I feel as if i am missing out! I never go to bars, not like that means anything. Never hang out with friends, i lost all of them. Feel like im in a cage, lol my husband is a little older than me and he always talks about his fun young days, and i have nothin fun to share. I love being home watching the kids. Watching them grow, learn everything. I just want to have fun!.

Sara - posted on 01/17/2012

18

1

3

Rhonda, you are not too young to be a stay at home mom. As a mother, you have to do what you need to do for your children. If you dont have anyone to watch your children, while you work and go to school, then you need to do what you need to do. When I had my first child, I chose to be a stay at home mom with my child until they could talk;which was about 21/2 years old, before I considered trusting them to be with any child care person or facility. I didnt have a family to help me babysit..I had no help at all. I felt better to be with my child within that time frame..It worked out too! My baby was potty trained by then and ready for preschool..all the time I spent at home with my child was beneficial, because I taught my child ABC's, counting, shapes, colors, animals...and we both developed a one on one communication and bond. I think its a blessing to be a stay at home mom with your kids. They love it! so dont feel bad, feel blessed! Best of Luck and many special toddler moments with your children...when your 35...you will always remember the times you spent and shared with your babies...at home:)

Kimberly - posted on 01/17/2012

785

23

317

No because your kids are only young once and if thats what you want to do then go for it. I'm both a working mom and sahm because I only work 1.5 days so the other 5.5 i stay at home with our daughter. I like that I have a little extra money for special things but that I get to spend so much time with our daughter and take her to things.

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2012

378

18

29

No, of course not. If that is what you want to do you are totally not too young.

Everyone has moments of doubt. Visiting this community and a couple others has really helped me with my own moments.

Stay strong Mama!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms