Any idea on how to enjoy being a SAHM?

Darlene - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I have 2 year-old baby girl and I'm staying at home for 3 years now. Since I got married I spend my whole day everyday to look after my baby and my husband. I love serving them and I enjoy doing the household chores even though I'm not used to it. I'm grateful that I was able to develop my skills in cooking and other home making stuff, but I can't help myself to feel bored sometimes. Any idea on how to enjoy being a SAHM?

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Alice - posted on 06/16/2010

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Darlene,
Have fun! I'm a sahm & love it. I had to go to work full-time for over 17 months when my 3rd was 5 weeks old and (the job was nice, but) i hated it! Fortunately, I work from home now & get to be a sahm again...
Anyways... My advice is: do something you love. If you love a sport, get into it (find a sitter or bring your baby w/you)! If you enjoy a craft, do it! You have to have a life of your own. XChildren areawesome gifts & responsibilities, but you only get them for 18-24 years so... you have to have something beyond them.
Best idea: find something you & your husband enjoy doing & do it at least once a month/week. We love surfing, so we go at least twice a month in summer to the beach w/another adult who can watch the girls while we surf together. I love sports, so I joined a church softball team & all the ladies from curch almost begged me to bring my girls so they could play with them! So I bring the stroller, snacks, water, & when it's game time I don't have to worry! I enjoy animals & gardening (we live on a farm, perfect).
Make sure you connect to others too. You have to have people (adults!) to talk to! They say we have to speak 2000 wors of meaningful conversation a day (that's the low end, if you ask me) but my husband has usually spent all his words when he comes home... so I have my sisters, friends from church, and my mom & mother (in-law, but she's really a 2nd mom) to talk with.
And... really important! Make sure you and your husband do something (even if it's watching a movie - not noggin! - at night when the baby's asleep) together as often as you can find the time. Your husband will be living with you for life - make sure you cultivate that relationship! I know, that's tough - I have 4 girls under 7 & sometiems a "date" for us is playing a hot-seat computer game after the girls are in bed! lol!
Hope some of this helps you out. I used to feel just like you - i love kids though & had been my parents' full-time babysitter when my mom had to go back to work (my dad had his own business) when i was 12, & we were all home-schooled! I felt like a sahm for my 6 younger sisters & brothers, but i liked it. When my oldest was 2 & 3, just after my 2nd was born, I was feeling "useless" even though I knew that I was doing the best job in the world and felt God wanted me to be there for my children. I had to focus on "me" time and forget about feeling guilty if I was not with the girls! My sister babysat for us so we could go watch "Avatar" the last week it was in theaters & I took the baby (she was a few wks old & nursing) - it was the first time that I didn't feel "guilty" for doing something w/o them! So it does take some time.
Just remember you are doing something no one else can do... you are being you're angel's mommy! Fit some time in to do something that makes you feel like a woman, a wife, & a lover & it may help you enjoy being a sahm! Good luck!! :)

[deleted account]

I try to get out of the house at least once a day. Once day I grocery shop, one day we go to storytime at the library, one day we eat lunch with my sister in the city, the Farmer's market, garage sales, etc.

Find a hobby. Mine is a little strange, but saves a ton of money! During naptime I search through grocery store circulars and cut coupons, make weekly menus and grocery lists. It's become a game to see how little I can spend on groceries each week.

As far as activities with my daughter, I try to rotate through her favorite things. One day we'll play outside in the inflatable pool. One day we'll go to the park. One day we'll meet up with friends and go to the zoo.

Think about all the things you and your daughter like to do and chose one of those activities each day. The variety will help you from getting bored!

Shanna - posted on 06/17/2010

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yes playgroups are good. but how about something for you....join a gym that has childcare. your daughter will get interaction and you will tone your abs and butt....nice trade off. and since we aren't dead, there's lots of eye candy for ya!! lol

Angelina - posted on 06/16/2010

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im in the same boat right now. but ive been looking into putting my 8 month old in daycare 1 to 2 days a week just to have a 'me' day. other things ive been trying is hanging out with other moms that i know. i found a group called MOMS club(moms offering moms support) that seems kind of interesting. they are all over the country. you coulod check that out.

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Greta - posted on 06/21/2010

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I glanced over your feedback, and what I saw looked good. I think the key is making sure you get some grownup talk and support routinely. I did the MOMS club thing when my kids were small, and it was wonderful, and since everyone there was on single income, most of the activities were still affordable.

[deleted account]

not to promote another site on this one but you can try momslikeme.com i say this because you choose your city and you only talk with moms in your area. so the moms in my area meet one night a week at a local restaraunt for coffee and they have a couple night out once a month (bowling, mini golf, riding go karts, fun silly stuff) I like it because it was a good way to start meeting other moms in my area. also, try getting out with your daughter. take her to story time at the library or find a play group. that way you can break up the sitting at home.

Soleil - posted on 06/19/2010

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find something that you can do that's just for you. I recently took up Bikram Yoga and I love it!! I go 3 to 4 times a week, and I love how much I really have to focus on myself. There is no way, while I am trying to do these crazy postures in 105 degree heat that I can possibly think about the bills, or diapers, or anything related to home, I can only think about my body and it takes total concentration and determination. It has totally made me a better mom because my head is clear, and I come home knowing I finally took care of myself for a change. Find anything you can become passionate about, and take the time to do it!

[deleted account]

I stayed home for 20 years. When my kids were young I joined clubs like the MOMS CLUB. They had plenty of activities for both moms and kids and I made lots of other SAHM friends. Give it a shot! If you can't find one in your area, contact the national organization to start one yourself!

Heather - posted on 06/19/2010

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It's a struggle with every SAHM! We are always trying to balance our family time with our "me" time. You are def not alone!
I found that forcing myself to get up and shower and get ready for the day like I was going to "work" really helps (minus the business attire). I honestly do have my days where you will find me still in my jammies at lunch time, but for the most part I try to "get ready" before I start breakfast.
I also found a "Luna Moms" club near me and I love it! They have free play groups every week and do "moms night out" at least once a month. I also go to "story time" at my library and Barns And Nobles. AND I go to a moms bible study group that has free childcare. I've met so many great moms! We get together and go to each others neighborhood swimming pools and we watch each others kids for a couple of hours every once in a while to run errands kid free.
Meeting these people is like a breath of fresh air, because they all have the same issues with getting bored or overwhelmed with the duties of being a housewife. Also, having friends in common like that opens up a lot of resources! I have heard about discounted or free fun things to do in my city with my kids and now have other moms to enjoy these activities with so I'm not the only grown up.
Don't forget to squeeze in a date night with the hubby everyonce in a while! ;)

Francene - posted on 06/18/2010

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My son is three, and very active. His attention span isn't very long, so we different activities throughout the day. I gear them to his development. I get pre-school activity sheets and ideas from online. We have a hands on craft, or he helps prep dinner/dessert. We spend time outdoors, (pic nic, park for play dates with others his age, or swimming). We do many different things in one day, but it keeps his need for interaction met. Otherwise he will find something to get into out of his curiousity, and need to interact with his environment.

Erica - posted on 06/18/2010

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You could work from home and have that as an outlet if you would like! I knew I would not like being couped up for 24/7 and would miss my adult conversations, so someone approached me about working from home. I would love to talk with you about what I have been doing that I only work maybe 8-10 hours a week if you'd like! thanks!

Sara - posted on 06/18/2010

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I try to get out of the house at least once a day. I go crazy if I don't!! It's a little hard for me to find a playgroup right now because my baby is only 5 weeks old, but I encourage people to visit us and go visit other people!!

CarrieAnn - posted on 06/18/2010

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I have a couple of idea's. I realize it's hot..but grab some water bottles and a wagon and hit the pavement. Walk to places in your community to do things. Just the other day we walked to the Fire Station about a 1/2 mile from my house and rang their door bell. They came to the door and I asked if they weren't busy if the kids could look at the fire trucks. The Firemen were beyond happy to show us and let them climb around in the trucks. Then we went to the park..hot and all. I pack lots of ice water and find shade under the trees to rest at times. I also took pics at the fire house..so day 2 we walked about a mile to Hobby Lobby a craft store and picked out picture frames and stuff to paint and decorate with. On our way home 7-11 was there so we stopped for a slurpee. Then day 3 we had "craft day". Decorated the frames and I printed the fireman pics for the frames. That helped us 3 out of the 5 days of the week to get out be in the community and do something. Next week I'm thinking I might go to the old folks home by us and visit the grandma's and papa's there. I just go to different places and see what we can do there. I haven't been turned away yet (knock on wood). It's cheap AND I don't use my car even though I have one. The kids have more fun in the wagon or just walking and I get exercise. :) If I think of some other things I'll post for you..but an idea I do alot to find cheap things for us to do is google my city I live in like I'm going to "visit" it and see what it says to do for fun with kids. Most of the stuff is either free or really cheap. We have public transportation here so if I didn't have my car and it wasn't wagon walking distance I'd be on the bus going. :) You can do this...sit, close your eyes and if you were a kid again what would you want to do? This is the opportunity for a 2nd childhood and have a blast by having the freedom of an adult. Go get it girl! You can do it! Big Hugs!!!

Mary Ann - posted on 06/17/2010

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I agree with Bethany - treat it like a job and have a daily schedule. Objectives, goals, etc. Have a start and end time for household duties that way you can be "off" work in the evening. Make sure you get up and get dressed at the same time every morning. If you plan to join the workforce in the future, you may want to see if you can volunteer in that field an hour or two per week so you stay current in your field of interest.

Tamara - posted on 06/17/2010

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I agree with everyone. Play groups are a saver. you can find them on meetup.com or momsclub.org. both are great.

Bethany - posted on 06/17/2010

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I have one daughter, 16mths, and don't work outside the home at all. My husband is out of the house commuting and working 7am until 6pm.



I treat this time of my life as a career, a job like any other, regardless of the pay difference. (the HUGE pay difference!)



I find flylady.net VERY helpful, to take my job seriously, and to give myself and family the home we deserve.



We go outside alot, and go away from the home every other day, to the library or shops or park or friend's house, or mum's group. Just away. And we potter about in the garden, but I love that anyway, that was my former career, though then I didn't get to do near as much pottering as I'd have liked, so I like being on my own time now.



It helps that Charlotte is such a funny nice little kid to be around, so the days go pretty quickly, once the morning routine is finished, it's only a few hours before the evening routine starts, then it's over. Another day slipped away.

Jane - posted on 06/16/2010

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playgroups are a sanity saver - they're really just so we moms can have adult conversations.

Jessica - posted on 06/16/2010

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I understand how ya feel... it was not an easy transition for me from working full time since I was 16 to an SAHM... at first its like the worst cabin fever ever lol I'm like addicted to those 5 hour energy drinks so after one I can have the whole house cleaned in like an 1 1/2 hours and the laundry started lol I have yet to find a play group or other moms to connect with... my personality is off putting I guess...i'm a bit of a smart ass I guess lol but any who... me and my lo love to grab a blanket and head to the park to sit under a shade tree. Shes so cute that she attracts all sorts of attention from the moms (and some dads lol) so I usually smile and nod because once they see any of my 14 tattoos the usually cut the conversation short and walk the other way lol But I do have faith that I will find an play group with an open mind....lol If I had to recomend something for ya to do is.. probably to go grocery shopping... I do not buy stuff for dinner a week in advance, I get up and get my lo fed n changed and happy then get on foodnetwork.com and find something that sounds good and make a grocery list... I do it this way so that I know I have to get outta the house atleast 1 time a day lol my fiance thinks i'm crazy for doing it like that but hes not at home lookn at 4 walls all day lol I do not know if any of this ramble helped but I hope it did lol :)

Faith - posted on 06/16/2010

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The best way to enjoy it is to look for some kind of playgroup. I found one on meetup.com...I have never been happier. It gets me out the house and I have other moms to connect with. While I enjoy staying home some days, it is nice to know I have the option of going to play dates and making friends.

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