Any suggestions on how to get my girls to clean their rooms??

Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2012

make it a game

Keri - posted on 08/29/2012

My parents wouldn't let me do anything else until my room was clean. I could only come out to eat or go to the bathroom. While that is a bit extreme for a 3 year old, the other two should be able to do it. I have been doing that with my 6 and 12 year old. Bribery and threats don't work with them.



What I have done with all three of my kids is to break it down when they were young. I would tell your girls to pick up all the clothes, then all the dolls, then all the blocks, etc. If you break it down into smaller chunks it isn't so overwhelming to clean and will get them into the habit of cleaning that way. You will probable still have to help your 3 year old. Have her pick up 5 of each item and you help with the rest, but still break it down by item.

Julie - posted on 08/23/2012

you should have started younger....but hopefully it's not to late....i would not allow them to go somewhere special if it is not done...gymnastics, for example...let them know it is "their" decision to miss doing something they like bc they did not obey mom or dad

Erin - posted on 06/08/2012

Well I assume they have different rooms? If so then there is no excuse for the ten year old. She is more than old enough to do it. I would suggest making a bedtime hour, in that hour they need to get pj on, clean up the room and brush teeth etc before bed. Now how long they have before bed of that hour depends on how fast they clean up. If the oldest refuses to clean make her go to bed right away (no extra time to stay up). Also gorunding might be appropriate for habitual refusal. For the three yo, you may need to constantly direct the child ok, keep going, pick it up, you will need to assist in direction. If the child refuses even with constant direction put the child to bed early no extra time up. This works pretty good with my three year old, I do have to constantly say ok now these toys, now those toys, that one too.

Justine - posted on 06/05/2012

Thank you everyone so very much for the ideas, I am going use a white board to specify exactly what they have to do and hopefully that will help :) The time limit is hard cos they never care but I will still be using it. I think I might go and buy a timer for that reason only so they know when it comes out what it's for. I try to get them to tidy their rooms everyday but they still end up in such a mess you can't walk in there and they don't want to clean it.
I've just gotten rid of a lot of their toys which I gave to my youngests Child care and they loved it all :D 5 garbage bags were gone with in seconds LoL their clothes they don't use I am taking to the salvation army and I gave some to a friends kids, they loved them :)
When they did not listen about their rooms, I tried the time limits and I had written down a list of 'possible punishment' for if the did not do it.
- No going on Holiday to see family
- No TV for 2 days
- No junks food for 2 days (only fruits, vege and meat)
- No iPod for a week
You think these things would work but NO we ended up canceling the holiday and no TV or Junk food or iPods!!!
Still they are not caring, I do not know why these things would usually work. I though after no going on holiday they would not want it to happen again and start doing it but no!! They still have not got their gymnastics back either as they just won't listen and get it done.
I feel so horrible taking all these things away but I need to find something that will get them to snap out of this.
Thanks very much everyone for the help it is much appreciated XOXO

Leasa - posted on 06/05/2012

Take away something that is important to them and tell them that they have to earn it back. For instance, once their room has been clean for 3 days in a row, they can have the item back. With the understanding that if it gets too messy again, you will take the item away again. Also...when there's a big mess it's overwhelming. I've taught my children to clean a bit at a time. I break their rooms down into items on and outline. i.e. clean off bedside table, 2. clean off dresser, 3 make bed, 4 pick up floor....etc... make it into a check list like that for them and let them check each item off as they progress. My son loves marking them off!

Chrissy - posted on 06/05/2012

im a bitch to my girls 7, 4 & 18 months i ask them to put it away with 15 mins to do it i then go up with the bin bags and put anything i find in them and it gos in the loft. then i go in there toy box and anything in the wrong box gets the lot tipped out and 15 mins more to put it back in the right box. or the same will happen again. the only time i help is if frends have been over and made a mess but next time they come i dont let them up in there rooms. one child had to spend 2 house sat at the kitchen table with his mum next time he came over he was good as gold. iv taken there school books ect off them before. they wont take long to sort it out and unworn outfits in the wash- i make them take them back up 1 by 1 can take hours off tv time or play time they hated it yet it worked i just tell them im getting the bin bags and i hear them running

Bethany - posted on 05/30/2012

you could help them. esp the 3 year old. The 10 and 8 year old won't need physical help, but asking them where each item's home is would help. If it has no home, put it in a garbage bag or make a home for it by getting rid of something else or adding storage.

If my 3 year old can't find a home for something, I say 'in the bin, or off to Good Will shop' and she soon finds a home for it. She can't watch tv if the lounge is messy. She doesn't play in her room, her toys are in the family room, so her room stays tidy. She pulls up her covers to make the bed and puts her shoes away when she takes them off, or they go in the bin or to good will, with some warning time.

If it's a big tidy, can't walk through the room kind of tidy up, maybe a bowl of treats just for that time, and some good music and a timer. If you're happy with their progress after 7 minutes, they get a treat, if not, no treat until the next 7 minutes, then we'll see.

LIke cleaning teeth, or whatever, if it's important to you, you'll need to help them. I tell my daughter, pick one thing up and find it's home, then pick one more thing up.... I do that too when it's my mess. I hate cleaning and tidying up.

Sara - posted on 05/29/2012

My mom went thru that w/my sister when she was little...She would give her a certain amount of time to clean up then she would tell her anything left out would be given away...She would put them in trash bags then put them somewhere she couldn't find them, then reincorporate them back into her things a week later (without telling her) ...If that doesn't work - tell them you will donate whatever they don't pick up..

Ginger - posted on 05/29/2012

Check out www.housefairy.org, it costs $15 to join, but the basic premise is if they keep their room clean the House Fairy will leave a surprise for them. My boys are 2 & 4, the 4 yr. old gets it & is quite excited, but the 2 yr. old does not get it at all & has zero attention span. I'm still trying to get it to work for me. I like the idea though, it takes the pressure off the parents as its up to the House fairy to inspect & leave a prize or not. They never know when she will stop by, so they need to keep things tidy at all times. If their room is a mess she leaves a note (with fairy dust) encouraging them to clean up, if it's clean the note praises them & has fairy dust & a prize. She only comes to my house about once a week & sometimes we "talk" on the phone instead of a note when their room is constantly messy, I got tired of leaving notes. Your 10 yr. old may figure out who the fairy is, but if she likes prizes she might play along w/ her sisters. the website provides fairy notes, videos for kids to watch, ideas for you, etc. you could do it on your own pretty easily. I also like the idea of confiscating their stuff & gradually giving it back. Good luck to you!

Kristin - posted on 05/29/2012

As for laundry if it doesnt hit the laundry room it doesnt get cleaned and not my problem. My oldest is currently in the process of learning how to do his own laundry and I refuse to do 6 loads of his clothes when he feels like cleaning his room. Guess what he cleans it more regularly now. lol

Kristin - posted on 05/29/2012

Pick your battles I gave up on asking my kids to clean their rooms a long time ago. My oldest is 16 and gets mad at me if i clean his room as i have messed up his system lol he views it as his space and likes it to be messy. He respects the rest of the house and cleans up after himself, just likes his room to be messy. My middle child is 6 and is pretty particular about tidiness so we do the 10 second clean up every night. My kids are not allowed to have toys in their rooms and all the toys are in the rumpus room in the basement thats my kid zone and we tidy it up every night. I time my 6 year old and we see who can clean it up faster. My 6 year old makes his bed every morning and i help him with the dusting and vacuuming. So sometimes we as parents just have to shut the doors and let the kids messy rooms be their space. My 16 yr old cleans his room once a week as he get sick of the mess and that is by his own choosing.

Katherine - posted on 05/27/2012

I like Heather's idea. Natural Consequences. If they aren't reacting to anything else, maybe they'll react to that.
My 6 and 3 year old are the same way. My 3 year old will actually clean up, but my 6 year old won't. It's always. "mommy will you help me?" NO! You made the mess, you clean it up. It's a constant battle. And I've learned to pick my battles. I just get a big black garbage bag and that's enough for them. As soon as they see it they know I mean business.

Heather - posted on 05/27/2012

I've had the same stand off for years with my oldest daughter, who is now 10. At one point it was bad enough that my husband and I went in with garbage bags, bagged everything except a bare minimum wardrobe, and locked it all in the shed. She was with out toys or anything to play with for two months. Once she had proven to us that she could keep what little was there clean and organized, we brought back one bag a week and helped her sort through, put things away, and get rid of things she didn't want anymore. It helped a lot. Now when her room starts to get bad (which she seems capable of accomplishing in a few hours) she is able to get it cleaned up with minimal fighting. Hope this helps!

Tabitha - posted on 05/27/2012

Bag up their clothes and keep them locked up in your room. Leave them 1 outfit each and jammies. They won't get clean clothes for the next day unless they trade them for the dirty ones they're taking off. And don't let them pick the outfit, you choose. While they're at school, start washing the clothes that you've bagged up, but keep them locked up. Tell them this is how it will be until they decide that they will help keep their room clean. I know it's a hassle, but I don't think they'll want to do that for long. They might learn to respect their area and help keep it clean. My mom did this with socks when we were younger.

Justine - posted on 05/27/2012

Thanks everyone, I have tried the throwing thinsgs away or putting them up for a while. My 3 year old is very capable of cleaning up after herself but she'll pester her older sisters so they her to go away. I have a chore chart that has tidy rooms on it but they would rather get no money then tidy their room.
Their clothes are the worst :0 they are everywhere they whinge when their not washed but don't want to put them in the laundry, I tried a washing basket in their rooms or even the bathroom, their clothes just went everywhere but in the basket! I have stopped them from sleep overs :(
I have a house inspection in 2 days and I've told them if it is not clean the lady might tell us we have to move out cos we are to messy. Usually this would work but this time they are no bothered. I have just tried so many things and none work! :( I have now taken their gymnastics as they didn't not do it yesterday, their rooms is maybe a fith better then when they started after 5 hours. They cried for a minute and then they got over it!!

Corinne - posted on 05/27/2012

Tell them that if they don't clean up, you will. You'll put it all in a bin bag and throw it out. My Mum did this to myself and my two sisters and we shaped up pretty fast.

Brianna - posted on 05/27/2012

they are old enough to clean their room. you just gotta stick to ur guns and tell them u will not let them go to gymnastics (if thats there favorit thing) if they dont clean their room.

Michelle - posted on 05/27/2012

start with the oldest one as she is setting the example for the rest if you don't clean this mess I will with a garbage bag then go in and start bagging up her stuff and put it somewhere safe make her earn her stuff back the other two will see this and I guarantee they will start doing what needs to be done only had to do this to my son once and now he is fairly tidy.

Tabitha - posted on 05/27/2012

They are plenty old enough to learn to put things back with they're finished with them. They're also old enough to learn how to do a thorough cleaning every now and again. Will their rooms be perfect? No, but you'll be able to walk thru their rooms and they'll have more room to play if they've put things up when their done with them. Teaching them to pick up after themselves is basically done by example and small reminders. They see you putting things away when you're done so it's just normal for them. The thorough cleaning is a bit different. You might need to break down areas of their rooms(especially for the younger ones). Ask her to help you gather up the baby dolls, then the dress up clothes. Of course, she's not old enough to do that by herself, but with your help she'll learn to keep her area clean. Another thing I found helpful is to mark on the calendar when we would be "cleaning our rooms". I usually tried to get them to do the big clean up, twice a month. Then the day before, I remind them that "tomorrow is clean your room day". I also would add that if we got it done in the morning, we'd be able to do_______(some fun activity or extra treat). They usually would get started right when the announcement is made so that they'll have less to do the next day. But they've also learned that putting things away when they're done with it, makes the cleaning day go faster because there's not as much to clean up. Anyway, this is a habit that we started pretty much as soon as they could walk so it's not really a big deal now. I don't get angry or upset when they have left them a mess, I just remind them that we'll be able to find out toys better if we put them away when we're done. Or, you'll have more room to play that game if you had put away your toys from last night. That usually does the trick.

Louise - posted on 05/27/2012

I have always taken the stance of their room is their space! At 3 your daughter could help a bit but to tidy everything away is asking a bit much. I said to my sons when they were growing up that if it made it to the laundry basket it would get washed, if it stayed on the floor it would not. When they ran out of clothes they got the message. As for toys and stuff on the floor as long as I could get to them in case of emergency without breaking my neck fine. If you make it an issue things will get worse. If you ignore it they will get fed up with their own mess and do something about it. Make it clear that no friends are allowed in when their rooms are messy so dont ask and no sleep overs because it is not safe. They will mull this over for a few days and then things will change.