Any tips on how you make the transition from a working mom to a home staying mom easier.

Heather - posted on 03/15/2011

It's really weird at times but has been a great experience. Expect your personal identity to change and adjust. Remind yourself of the enormous benefits that your children (and you) will reap as a long term consequence (health, mental health, self esteem, social adjustment etc). Get involved in something that you love within the community. Make yourself available to others. It has been a great priviledge to be able to say, "I can adjust my schedule and talk you to the doctor's in the next town", or 'I'd love to come and help you out with your wedding plans'. I added home schooling to my SAHM status and that sure has filled my days up too!

Natalie - posted on 12/29/2010

Kelly, did you know that Flylady has a FB page, with a VERY active community?

Nisa - posted on 12/29/2010

Stay busy! Find local play dates, story times, trips to park or mall. Also look at places like The Little Gym, and My Gym that are geared toward parent child relationships. I look at my son as my new bff we go everywhere together lol :)

Renae - posted on 12/29/2010

Look forward to it! Think about all the activities you go out and do with your children, you can volunteer at the school, be at every sporting game, join the committee of your local playgroup, go to library reading time.. gees, I was more busy as a SAHM mum than I ever was working, I had to check my calendar constantly. I recently started working 2 days per week, in Feb it will go up to 3 days, I have never been busier. I dont understand when people say they get bored being a SAHM, there is so much to get involved in. :)

Deanna - posted on 12/28/2010

You need to make sure that you get out at least twice a week with other moms and/or friends. Pick one or two hobbies that you can do with or in conjunction with your kids. (i love to read and draw) Start adjusting your lifestyle now so that when you are a complete SAHM it isn't as big of a shock to you body and mind. I have 3 kids under 8, 1 DH and a roommate to keep up with including myself. I keep a calendar for birthdays, dates, appts. and so on both on my fridge and in my phone. My phone is programmed to go off 2-3 hours before the event so I have plenty of time to do what needs done just in case I had forgotten about it. Also, make a plan on all the cleaning you want done around the house and make it a detailed cleaning list so that you don't really have much to do for "spring cleaning". (I do a fall cleaning) I would also suggest doing some indepth research on places and things within driving distance that you have always wanted to do with your kids or do occasionally now. That way you have a list of things that you can do if you are starting to feel pent up. Either you will find this experience a walk in the park easy or you will find it hard and stressful. I would suggest that you start to learn (if you haven't already) to just take things as they come. Don't stress out if you were planning a trip to the zoo/park/etc. and it rains or someone gets sick. Just roll with the punches so to speak. I do one thing every single day. either once or 2000 time depending on the day. I close my eyes, do a quick mental block of sound, count to 20 or even higher sometimes, while repeating, "I love my kids. They are my world. They are just being kids. It isn't the end of the world." My personal favorite; "This really won't matter in 5 or 10 years." I do hope that some of my ideas and things that I do will work for you or give you some ideas of your own.

Kelly - posted on 12/28/2010

I love flylady.net! That's where I got the 15 minute timer idea--that little tip saved my sanity! lol

Natalie - posted on 12/28/2010

To add to my above post, I have found the routines at flylady.net to be very useful to help me with managing my house without going crazy over it.

Good Day! - posted on 12/27/2010

Keep a schedule and routine!



Since you don't have a boss to answer to in order to get a paycheck, it can be very easy to get lazy...at least for me it is!



I have a daily and weekly routine that I keep. Of course, it's not so rigid that I can't break it. The reason to stay home is to be flexible with your kids and be there for them. Within the structure there needs to be wiggle room. Once whatever triumph or crisis with your children is over...you can easily get back into your grove if you have a routine.



I also make a weekly "to do" list. First I make a list of things that need to be done with my daughter and husband, for my home business, for my house, and for my church. Then I plan out the week.



If you are interested, here is a peek into my routine, yours will likely be VERY different based on your family's needs:

-morning...breakfast, unload dishwasher and re-load with breakfast dishes, start a load of laundry

-mid-morning...errands or activity with toddler

-lunch, then nap time for toddler...clean (the day of the week determines the chore), computer, down time, finish the load of laundry

-mid-afternoon...start dinner and play time with toddler

-after supper...depends on the day of the week, husband works nights so this really varies, toddler bath time while I clean the bathroom

-Before bed...turn on dishwasher, wipe kitchen counters, sweep kitchen floor, and of course...tv and computer and reading

Natalie - posted on 12/27/2010

I found it was important for me to find ways to get out of the house and socialize with adults! I regularly attend La Leche League meetings as well as Moms of Preschoolers meetings. These give me a chance to talk to someone who understands what I am going through, and also to have an adult conversation!

Like others have said, I also had to find a routine that worked for me, and accept that the house does not have to be perfect and I do not have to kill myself over getting it that way. It is a better use of my time to enjoy my babies!

Renee - posted on 12/27/2010

I guess it really depends on how old your kids are...
I have been working since I was 15 years old. I worked full time on an ambulance while I attended college on a full time schedule as well, plus volunteer work, a boy friend, and a "life". After graduation I got married and worked full time plus as a child welfare social worker.
We had our first child when I was 27. I ended up losing my job when he was 12 weeks old. Never thought I could be a stay at home mom. Always thought I would go batty from boredom. But that was far from the truth. I loved being at home with him. Some days I was a little bored but for the most part I kept busy. When he was about a year old I got a job running a hotel as a manager. Part of my job was to live on sight in a house that was attached. My son would "work" with me in the hotel. While there I got pregnant with our daughter. When she was 5 mos old I lost that job because the hotel sold. Let me tell you I was not happy about that but at the same token I needed a break from that hectic life.
Now my children are 2 1/2 and 9mos and I am again a stay at home mom and I am busy !! Chasing after the kids, house work, the never ending dishes and laundry...when the weather is nice hanging out at the park in the middle of the day, go shopping when you want, but most of the time I spend playing with my kids. Some days I am so busy with them that I don't even get a chance to take a shower!
Some days I don't feel very useful and like my college education was a complete waste of time. My thoughts and conversations used to be high level now they are at a 2 year old level. I don't have any friends where we are living now, family is 300 miles away, and we live in a very small tourist town. My husband is working A LOT of hours to make up for me not working so he isn't around very much. Some days I don't feel very appreciated for all that I do especially when my son is being...well a 2 year old, and NOTHING gets done around the house and my husband asks "What DID you do all day?" But other days I LOVE being home because I got to see all of the "firsts" with our kids. I know them, their habits, what they can and can't do where my husband doesn't because he is always working. BUT when he is home he doesn't help very much with the children either.

Kelly - posted on 12/27/2010

I flipped back and forth between working and not working several times after my son was born because I just couldn't adjust. Here are some things that I finally figured out to help me adjust and be happy as a sahm.



First, if you can afford it, don't cut out your housekeeping service until you have established your new rhythm. One of my biggest downfalls was that the house would be in shambles at the end of every day and I would be to exhausted and overwhelmed to clean it. If you wait about a month before letting your housekeeper go, you can ease into it and aren't hit with everything at once.



Second, join mommy groups, sign up for classes with your kids, go to story times, and volunteer if they are in school. This will help you meet other sahm's and give your week some of the structure you are used to.



Third is another housekeeping tip. Use a kitchen timer and spend 15 minutes per day in each room cleaning. This kept me from going from room to room to "pick up" over and over again and never getting to the actual cleaning, like dusting and such. If you spend 15 minutes there, you have time to pick up and clean, and there is no need to pick up that room again until the end of the day.



Fourth, put a big basket in your livingroom or greatroom. When it is time to pick up before cleaning or at the end of the day, you can just toss the toys that are in that room into the big basket instead of taking all the way back to where they belong. About once a week, take the toys out of the basket and put them back in their home.



Hope this helps, and I hope you enjoy staying home with your littles. I have found the experience very rewarding!

Jennifer - posted on 12/27/2010

Staying at home is very rewarding, but I need to keep busy so I don't go stir crazy. Socializing with adults is a must. Get out of the house and do weekly play dates with other moms and their children. You can also pick up some hobbies that you can do at home when you have time to yourself.

Jennifer - posted on 12/27/2010

For me, at first, it seemed so easy. I had started working when I was very young. First I mowed lawns, and babysat, then when I was 16 I worked in a factory during the summer, then it was on to fast food and a grocery store during the rest of my high school. During college I started working in a nursing home as an aide until 7 years later when I decided to be a sahm. At first I was so busy catching up on the cleaning and cooking all these great meals that I never had the time to fix before. Then, after a couple months when reality sunk in, I got a little depressed. It felt like all I did all day was scrub a house that everyone seemed to not care about and constantly stop my 2 older kids from fighting and had a baby permanently attached to me all day and night. Finally, I found a routine that worked great for us, I stopped thinking the house needed to be completely spotless just because I didn't have an outside job anymoe, and reminded myself that I was so blessed to be able to watch my children grow everyday and not miss a single thing. I now have 4 children and love the fact that my almost 3 month old has never been to a babysitter.