Anyone just feel so alone being a SAHM!

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 11/07/2012 ( 38 moms have responded )

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hey everyone my name is Tiffany and i am a mother to a wonderful little 3 year old boy. i love staying home with my son and i know i am so blessed to be able to stay home with him. at the same time it gets very lonely staying home by yourself with no adults to talk to. We live in the country and an hour away from all my family and friends and it gets really hard being home all the time. i dont have my drivers licence yet and the nearest store or playground for my son is an hour walk :( it gets boarder line depressing being out here alone all the time. i talk to my husband about it and he tries to understand but it gets pushed under the rug everytime! i think its because he has never been in my shoes so he cant understand! and it is so hard to get out and meet people around here if you cant drive i just feel like i am gunna be stuck in these for walls of my house forever and i dont want that :( it is just so hard sometimes!! im sure im not the only one that feels like this.

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Valerie - posted on 11/09/2012

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The best resource for SAHM is MOPS! Mothers Of PreSchoolers is an international group focused of moms with young kids. you get to meet other moms, make friends and have a good time without the kids present (you bring the kids but they go in their own classroom). Look up a group near you at www.MOPS.org and if you can't drive, contact the group leader, I'm sure she would have no problem getting you a ride. MOPS is all about reaching out to moms everywhere and connecting us with each other. I've been in my group for 7 years and I love it!!

Jan - posted on 12/10/2012

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i thought i was the only sahm without a liscense! it makes it so hard when you cant drive you and your little one somewhere, anywhere, to get out of the house. i live on a dead end street that connects to a dangerous high traffic road that i wont walk on with him as well so i really feel like i am trapped in the house most of the time.

Kyra - posted on 11/19/2012

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This is me as well.

I'm 26 and I stay home with my 1 and 4 year old. I also have a 12 year old step-daughter and a 5 year old daughter who started Kindergarten this year. So Monday through Friday I am here with the boys. My husband works 7am-5pm and when he gets home there's nothing I want to do more than talk about anything and everything but...with 4 children, it's pretty much impossible to converse until they have gone to bed and by that time, we are getting very sleepy ourselves.

Currently I've been struggling with finding the motivation to do anything. What's the point of getting dressed or putting make-up on? Who am I trying to look good for? The walls?

I used to seek refuse in making crafts and knitting. Now both make me so tired that I nap when the boys do. If I were to walk into a drs. office they would surely try to diagnose me with depression but you know what? It's not depression...it's truly lack of stimulation.

When my daughter started Kindergarten in the Fall I dove right in with her and joined the PTO. Just to give myself something to do during the days. Having to take the boys into the school with me is extremely stressful but I do it anyway because it gives me another purpose.

I have thought about getting a part time job during the evening hours but what it all boils down to is that I have, completely and utterly lost my social skills, which in turn shys me away from persueing it.

The common ground between us all is that we strive to maintain a positive mentality and after reading everyone's response, we really are doing just that. Saying our children's smiles make it all okay or for those of us who have infants, being there to experience their first laughter or first babble. I too, have lived here in Amish Land, PA for a year and have found not one friend. My family is over an hour away and my only friend works 2 jobs and is also an hour away.

So what to do? I'm still unsure.

Rose Anna - posted on 11/14/2012

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I just joined this site this evening for this exact reason. I am a stay at home mom of a 21 month old baby boy and I am so very grateful that I have this opportunity. It's just VERY HARD maintaining a positive attitude when it seems like you have been shunned from social interaction and the "real" world.

It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one who feels so lonely. My boyfriend and son's father works the graveyard shift and puts in a lot of overtime in order for us to live this lifestyle. So, when he is awake in the evenings for a few short hours, I am talking his hear off and just trying to get some adult attention. This "profession" is difficult, but I know in the long run I will miss these days! We all just have to make the most of this time and make some circle of moms friends to help us keep our sanity. Hang in there girl!

Valerie - posted on 11/13/2012

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MOPS is for women with kids "in the oven" - 5yrs so a 5 month old is perfectly acceptable! If you have older kids that are in school and younger ones, you can just bring the younger ones. Or if all you have is one baby, its fine. When I was working the registration for our group I had a woman ask to join who was prego with her first, and she was welcome as well. When your youngest turns five is when you transition out of MOPS but some groups have a "MOPS Next" group for woman with only school age kids. Its a wonderful place to meet and get to know friends. I recommend it to every mom!

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Violet - posted on 12/27/2012

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Same here, right now I'm looking at finding a part time weekend/evening ,just to get away from being around the house full time....can't take this anymore.. Now that its winter argh.. Keeping inside these four walls ,Loneliness , feeling isolated from the rest of the world, with out friends ,doing the same things over and over gets boring...TV gets boring, you watch a movie then turn to internet, next is read a book,ash. I love watching my boy make his first step, smile etc. but at the same time I feel like I've lost a part of me. Its hell in the cell,.. Think of joining the Mom's club..Take heart, as you can see your not alone. Good luck!

Dana Marie - posted on 12/25/2012

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Soon you will be grasping for sanity and mommy time! Dont let it keep getting pushed under the table or you could blow!

Donna - posted on 12/25/2012

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I totally understand.. I have joined a bunch of online webistes like this so that I can talk to other moms who understand and make new friends while I am at it.. My husband works 12 hour days.. One week he is on nights and the next he is on days.. So, I am pretty much on my own.. I stay home with two wonderful girls.. Three and seven months.. Then I watch my nephews three days out of the week.. I also read a lot.. It helps pass the time.. Between reading, playing with the kids, letting them play outside and talking to other moms it really helps pass the time.. I helps to know that there are people who do understand what you are going through.. You can always message me if you would like to talk.. I am always looking for new friends.. lol.. Hope this helped..

Sarah - posted on 12/20/2012

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I know exactly how you feel!! I am a sahm as well but I do also work part time from home too. It gets very hard and takes a toll in your brain. I have a beautiful 3 year old son who is my world. But the lack of communication with adults has taken a toll on me. I feel anxious a lot and just talking to others moms does seem to help but its very nerve recking. I never used to be like that until I started staying home. Ive herard of the mops group and im going to look into it for my area. I believe we do have it.

Christie - posted on 12/14/2012

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you arent the only one..i have 3 kids and stay at home the closest family or friend i have is 2 and a half hours away..

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 12/11/2012

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Kel C I totally understand where your coming from and it is def an added stress with your child being ADHD :( if u ever need to talk just PM me :) its nice to be able to talk to an adult even if its on computer :)

Kel - posted on 12/11/2012

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im so glad i saw your post its like i wrote this myself!! im 33 have a 2 year old boy with adhd so its so hard being alone, my parents have passed away and have moved recently so i dont no ANYONE where i live. my sons dad has never seen him and never given a penny for him. since getting pregnant i havent been out socially, thats 3 yr 4 months, ive had offers of dates but have to say no as i have no babysitter, its 3 years since i had ANY male company!! i love my son so much but i need adult company as well and with him having ADHD he is such hard work i dont get a minute in the day.

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 12/10/2012

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wow Jan C mine and your story are so much alike :) if u ever need to talk you can talk to me it helps to talk and its really hard to find someone that knows what your going through :)

Cicely - posted on 12/10/2012

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you aint alone, its depressing,boring nd so on, but you could always do crafts with your son,i paint and just made christmas ordiments with my 1 year old daughter,if you have a yard play with him outside,take awalk around the house outside, its not always a bad thing not to have friends its less drama,

Linda - posted on 12/04/2012

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I feel the same with my kids. I am just so grateful that I can watch my kids learn and grow. My hubby wishes we were independently wealthy so he could stay home too.



While my kids are advance in their academic skills, I don't know if it was due to me teaching them or the fact they are just smart kids. Maybe a bit of both. They all learn and grow at such different rates and ways.

AngD - posted on 12/04/2012

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I know the feeling we live in a military area and have been here six years. I know the feeling. I stay at home parttime because boys in school and have practices.

[deleted account]

I have a 2year old boy, and im a stay at home mom. Because of this my son is VERY advanced. for the first while i also felt lonley, but what i did was channel that lonley into learning. He loves it. we read and colour and sing and dance. Hes not quite two and he can count to ten, he can pick out colours and draw happy faces. i understand wanting to be around other adults, but when you teach your child something, for me at least, it felt 10x more rewarding than hanging out with people. im sure youre a great momma :) but try loosing yourself in the fun you can have with your son! keep busy, puddle jump all day!

Linda - posted on 11/22/2012

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I have been through that. No worries, just get out there and enjoy life with your son. Go to the park or attend storyhour at the library. Find out if there is a local playgroup through a church or community center you and your son can join. This stage will pass. Oh how it was just yesterday my first was 5. Now she's 12!

Kyra - posted on 11/21/2012

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I've thought of getting a penpal as well. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places but it's never worked out for me. I'd love to get an actual letter in the mail!

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Have you ladies ever thought of writing to each other. I am a sahm to 7 in australia. I have acouple of friends, but I also have penpals and I love it. I now class my penpals as my friends, we text each other write to each other call each other, I even met my best friend 8 years ago through penpalling. Its just a thought for you all. I know its not everyones idea of communicating, but I thought I would suggest it to.

Rebecca - posted on 11/20/2012

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Maybe its because they have a fear of driving or they're just not good drivers. Id rather them not drive then to get into an accident or hurt someone..

Rebecca - posted on 11/20/2012

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I understand completely!! I just had a baby and I was going through the post partum and my husband did not understand. I had to wait for my baby to reach 2 months so I can be able to take her out and enjoy life again. My baby just turned 2 months and two days later, I left to Florida to stay with my mom for the holidays because my husband works so much but he is coming for Christmas! Maybe you should tell your husband to drop you off before going to work at a family members or friends house and then he can pick you up on his way home, that way you can be able to enjoy life again... God Bless!

D. - posted on 11/19/2012

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Why don't those without a drivers license get one? It will open many doors for you re: getting out of the house, especially if you live in an area without decent public transportation.



Then, look into various moms organizations. One of them is MOMS Club.

Madison - posted on 11/15/2012

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Your not I'm a stay at home mom with a 15 month old and Another one on the way. I take care of my husband, my child, my brother, my father and my step daughter. I clean and cook everyday. I lost friends because I had a baby. I'm very lonely too. It's hard to find what makes you happy when you please others. But I always think too that they need me to stay strong and withoute things would be a lot harder. It's not easy finding friends. It's even harder to keep them when you have other responsibilities. I think social network works to at least get the ball rolling. Sure you will find what makes you happy and fulfilled. It just might take some looking. Good luck. :)

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 11/14/2012

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hey girls seems like there are alot more woman then i thought that feel they way i feel. I am glad that im not the only one gives me some peice of mind :) if anyone of you feel you need to talk we can cuz god knows i could use someone to talk to from time to time :)

Kathrine - posted on 11/13/2012

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I joined this site too just to talk to other moms who would understand. I do have a license but no friends really and know anyone with the same interest. I'm 22 and most everyone i meet only drink and party and I can't and kinda dont want to do those things. I mean I like to have fun and nothing is wrong with drinking I just dont have to! I live in meigs Ga and there is no one out here!!!

Danielle - posted on 11/13/2012

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hi am new to this site today actually because i needed to reach out to other moms going through the same situation ...my name is danielle im a 27 yr old stay at home mom of an almost 5 yr old girl and 9 month old girl and i love them to death but recently my fiance started working ALOTTTTTTT and im home allllll the time no license either i have lived here in fl for 2 yrs now and have not one single friend i know i am definately slipping into a depression with this situation and i dont like it i wanna SNAP out of it but somehow cant and its driving me crazy the same routine everyday, the same four walls to look at day in and day out and although im very busy with both girls i feel so gosh darn lonely its good to know im not the only one who sort of feels this way it sure is hard...............

Elizabeth Nicole - posted on 11/13/2012

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I have 4 little girls and just recently remarried to a wonderful man. He takes care of my girls even though thety are not his own. But I hate being at home all the time. He works and does everything for us, but what gets me the worst is that he wants a baby and I can't have any more kids. I feel so ashamed and feel like I will loose out on everything with him.

Nique3 - posted on 11/10/2012

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i know what you mean. ive been here year and still haven't met anyone. i get lonely and depressed, but im trying to figure out how to not be!

Snickerzzz_33 - posted on 11/08/2012

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I feel just like u, and my dh isnt very a very sociable person, and he makes it even harder for me to meet new people. Ive been here for a year and havent got even ONE friend. grrrrrr

Sometimes I think we're just too different and I feel depressed, that I do everything in the house, he works hard, I know. I also know that if I put my baby in a daycare I might miss on her saying mama, dada (which she says already), crawl, cause she doesnt yet and more. I do enjoy every moment I spend with her, she's 7 months. I dont have a driver's lisence either, and I sure feel your pain. I dont really know what to do about it but I've accefted it, and learning my written test... I just cant stand being at home all frekin day lol. So hopefully soon, I'll have it done, and pass it, so I can drive around and get to parks, while he'll be working :)

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 11/07/2012

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Yes that is very true just seeing my sons smiling face helps me get throgh each day :)

User - posted on 11/07/2012

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i live in sand diego CA, US... yea its hard just idk never realize how much energy it takes to give someone attention, but they are so worth it all :)

Tiffany Dawn - posted on 11/07/2012

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I know what u mean. It gets really hard sometimes but I'm dealing with it :) I live in st stephen New Brunswick U??

User - posted on 11/07/2012

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you arent the only one, i feel that way too, the lack of socializing with someone your own age takes a toll. over the phone or online dont seem to help me well they do a bit but there isnt anything more than having a good girl friend with kids to have a coffee with while taking the kids to the park. where is it you live?

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