are there any a/a women out there who r married to caucasian men?

M. - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )

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ARE THERE ANY ARIFCAN AMERCIAN WOMEN OUT THERE, THATS MARRIED TO AN CAUCASIAN MAN? i just have some questions to ask to see if things are the same. and talk about kids hair. i just want to no if you get asked the questions that peolple ask me. and what r your feelings.

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Lauren Chanel - posted on 10/02/2012

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I live in Kentucky ( the place where people aren't supposed to wear shoes) and i am engaged to a white man as I said earlier. I will honestly say that we don' t get stares. I've dated white men all my life. I did however get questions from men ( when I was single) as to why I prefer white men. Its not that I do prefer one race over another, its that, here in my small town, your either sucessful or not. Your a thug or your not. There's really no in between. The typical black male in my town wears pants around their ankles and think they are rappers. Just not my style.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/02/2012

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It certainly does sound rather backward thinking. I guess white people, like Christians, like Muslims, like politicians, like family.... There's a few crazy and embarrassing ones in every group. (Rolling eyes)

The only thing I would consider as a parent is the impact on my children, and if they are strong enough to withstand the ignorance they may face or is it worth moving somewhere more "2012 planet earth" to protect them.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/02/2012

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I was thinking about this, and it seems strange that anyone should really take much of a notice, let alone question. Bizarre really. It occurs to me now, how much mixed race is in my life and family, yet we never think about it and never get asked. My husband's cousin is black (actually bi-racial though the native doesn't come through as much as the black) and she is engaged to a white guy (European I think)... I guess I never really saw them in terms of complexion before. Seems as strange as wondering why someone with green eyes would marry someone with blue. It's skin people, get over it! Lol. You're probably much more gracious than I would be with the ridiculousness of those questions. I dated black guys, white guys, polish guys, Middle eastern guys... Whatever. Never once got a question about it. My own family was a mix of black, native, and white (whatever white means), and people often think my husband is middle eastern. Close friends of our are bi-racial black and middle eastern (she is black, he is middle eastern.).

My brother in law is native and his wife is Chinese.

Come to think of it, I have more examples of mix-raced relationships in my life than not. Maybe you should move to Toronto! Lol.

Seriously though, when people ask, I would respond right back with their own question "well, why did you marry YOUR husband?"

If its a black person asking I would follow that up with "did you have a bad experience with a white man?"

Or if its a white person asking I'd ask "did you have a bad experience with a black man?"

It subtly points out the silliness of their question.

Lauren Chanel - posted on 10/01/2012

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Im engaged to a caucasian man. We've been together for over 9 years and have a 4 year old son together. I also have a daughter thats 7. What questions do you have? Im ready for em LOL!

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17 Comments

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Erika - posted on 11/02/2012

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Have you ever considered that when you allow other strangers' opinion to have an effect on you, you are in fact enabling them to affect your demeanor. Please let me explain- when I say you 'allow', I am respectfully reminding you only you alone have control over who you let into your business/privacy. If these are random strangers whom you do NOT know and are engaging in conversations with, take their words with a grain of salt and do not take them seriously or personally.



I for one cannot fathom a random stranger asking me personal and intrusive questions. I simply would not tolerate it. It definitely requires minimal effort to keep strangers' chat and sharing at bay- but that's because that is where they belong since they are strangers. There are always things to consider like how much tact one can have before they say something regrettable... But thankfully that's when you remember the legs your parents gave you and walk away!!! (I do apologize for sounding repetitive but IMO you sound like a very loving and caring mother and wife. Choose your strangers, if you will, because you don't need that negativity. No one does.) Best of luck to you and your family.

M. - posted on 10/04/2012

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HELLO, I DONT MIND YOU ASKING, MY HAIR IS NATURAL CURLY AND MY SONS HAIR HAD BIG LOCKS OF LOOSE CURLS LIKE MY HAIR. NOW THAT WE CUT HIS HAIR IT LOOKS LIKE MY HUSBANDS. I HOPE THAT HIS LOCKS GROW BACK, BECAUSE IN THE SUMMER I WEAR MY HAIR CURLY. DO SOME PEOPLE ACT LIKE THAT THEY DONT NO THAT YOUR KIDS ARE BI-RACIAL? I GET THAT FROM A FEW PEOPLE.

M. - posted on 10/04/2012

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I DONT KNOW WHY YOU SENT ME A MESSAGE, ABOUT SOLICITING BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER POST ANTHING ON THIS WEB SITE BESIDES MY ADVISE TO OTHER MOMS LIKE ME. SO YOU SENT THE MESSAGE TO THE WRONG PERSON.

Lauren Chanel - posted on 10/02/2012

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I cut my sons a little before he turned one. His bangs were really long, in his eyes. Does your son, if you dont mind me asking, have more your type hair or your husbands? both my kids are bi-racial. My daughter has more my type, but the curls are loose, not tight and kinky. My son however has his daddy's hair type. Wash and go. When it's long, he has locks of curls just like shirley temple, but brown.

M. - posted on 10/02/2012

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RIGHT, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. I COME FROM A VERY BIG CITY AN I DONT LOOK AT COLOR. IF A PERSON TREAT YOU RIGHT THATS ALL THAT MATTER TO ME. I JUST WANTED TO NO IF YOU HAD THOSE QUESTIONS THATS ALL. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. ALSO DID YOU CUT YOUR SON HAIR? AN IF SO AT WHAT AGE?

Courtney - posted on 10/02/2012

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I have some of the same issues with people but its because i'm married to a man thats quite a bit older than me. I'm thinking no matter where anyone one goes if something is different than what someone else thinks it should be they are automaticly going to judge you. Its sad that people have to be that way. Hope the best for you and your family!

M. - posted on 10/02/2012

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THANKS AGAIN FOR BEING SO HELPFUL AN NICE, IM GOING TO START MY OWN PLAY GROUP HERE IN BRUNSWICK, AND MEDINA. I ONLY HAVE ONE MOM WITH 2 KIDS SO FAR. I JUST LOVE PEOPLE ,MY HUSBAND COME HOME EVERYDAY FOR LUNCH SO IM NOT LONELY, AND HES OFF AT 345PM. I JUST LIKE TO GET OUT IN THE MORNING WITH MY SON.

Katherine - posted on 10/02/2012

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If you're lonely try meetup.com. They have mommy play groups. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with biracial relationships. I'm white and dated an african american, big deal right? Did I get looks? Yep. I just smiled. I think mixed raced children are exotic and beautiful. That being said, you have no reason to worry. It's not YOUR problem, but theirs!!!!

M. - posted on 10/02/2012

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well i think no matter where you go, there are always going to be judgemental people. some people just dont want to give up what went on back in history. I HAVE BEEN TO MANY STATES. and have had issues with people but im just happy that i am educated and i just pray that god forgive them for what they do not no. I think its sad not to no THAT THE DEVIL TAKE ALL KIND.

M. - posted on 10/02/2012

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THATS WHAT MY HUSBAND SAID ABOUT DIFFERENT STATES, OHIO IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DIFFERENT. IT JUST MAKE YOU ASK QUESTIONS. YOU ARE SO RIGHT I GUESS ITS JUST THESE STUCK UP PEOPLE HERE. BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU GET UGLE LOOKS. TODAY AN LADY WAS STARING AT ME AT STORY TIME WHEN I WAS TALKING TO ANOTHER MOM. I SMILED AT HER BUT SHE DIDNT SMILE BACK. THEN FINALLY A MOM CAME IN WITH 2 BI-RACIAL KIDS! AND WE JUST TALKED AND TALKED, WE EVEN EXCHANGED NUMBERS. SHE WAS ASKING ME SOME OF THE SAME QUESTIONS I WAS ASKING HER ABOUT PEOPLE RUDENESS. WE LIVE IN A MOSTLY ALL WHITE CITY. AND I FEEL PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS WHITE AN HER HUSBAND IS BLACK, AND SHE IS VERY, VERY NICE! I WISH IT WAS MORE BI-RACIAL COUPLES OUT HERE FOR THESE PEOPLE 2 SEE THAT THE WORLD HAS MOVED ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IM GOING TO START ANSWERING PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU SAID BECAUSE IM TRIED OF THE SILLY QUESTIONS.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/02/2012

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I am a white woman married to a native man, not the same thing, ... However many, many, many couples I know are bi-racial, and many black girls are married to white men. I'm from Toronto, Canada though. Anything goes here and we are extremely multi-cultural. No one seems to think anything about it.

M. - posted on 10/02/2012

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HELLO AN CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY SILLY QUESTION. ITS JUST THAT I NEVER SEE A/A WOMEN WITH CAUCASIAN MEN. WE HAVE HEEN MARRIED FOR 3 YRS, AND HAVE A TWO YR OLD SON. AND WE ARE GOING TO START TRYING FOR ANOTHER ONE. NOW I JUST WANT TO KNOW" DO YOU COME ACROSS PEOPLE THAT ASK YOU' WHY ARE YOU WITH A WHITE MAN? AND HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? OR DID BLACK MEN TREAT YOU BAD? THATS JUST SOME OF THE QUESTIONS THAT I GET FROM COMPLETE STRANGERS!!



I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU GET THOSE QUESTIONS, I LIVE IN BRUNSWICK, OHIO AND NO MATTER WHERE I GO I GET THOSE QUESTIONS. WHICH I SMILE AN ANSWER THEM NICELY WITH SOME EDUCATION FOR THEM. ALSO I WAS WONDERING IF YOUR SON HAIR IS LONG OR DID YOU CUT IT? I CUT MY BABY HAIR LAST WEEK BECAUSE OF EVERYONE WANTED IT CUT, AND I WAS TIRED OF HEARING IT. AND NOW I WANT IT BACK! IM A SAHM AN IT GET LONELY SOMETIMES BUT I STAY VERY, VERY BUSY WITH MY BABY. WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO STORY TIME, AND THEN TRAIN RIDES. THANKS FOR LISTENING HOPE TO HERE FROM YOU SOON!!!!!

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