Arrrrgh I'm going to scream.

Gina - posted on 05/05/2012

This may seem hokey but I'm going to say it. They won't be little for long. And you never know how long you will be able to be a SAHM. I used to be a SAHM and happened to love it. I know they are messy, noisy, etc but watching them grow & learn is truly rewarding. Try not to think about what you may be missing and focus on the blessing it is to be a Mother. I am now a single mother of 5 children. My ex-husband became abusive and is now serving 40 years in prison. I'm thankful for the 9 years I was able to stay home. I played Hi-Ho Cherry-O a gazillion times and I read The Very Hungry Caterpillar until I could recite it by memory. I do know what it's like. It can be dull if you get stuck in that state of mind.

Much love and I hope you find the encouragement you need here. I maintain a blog about my adventures of a single working mother....

~Gina
http://www.Onemomsguide.com

Ebony - posted on 05/04/2012

I'm feeling the same way.This is the first time I haven't worked in 19 years, I'm going on 35 .Staying at home for these last 3 years have killed me. The only upside that has made me happy is to watch my son grow up. I love my son and cant wait fir my daughter to be born. With childcare expenses can;t afford childcare. My hubby works and I stay at home.....

I totally understand how u are feeling

Stacey - posted on 05/04/2012

yep, pretty sure all these emotions and feelings are normal! My husband took a week off work to get some stuff done around the house(major projects finished), and it was lovely having him home, extra set of hands to help out, etc, but he was busy doing all the house projects, so I was still doing the daily stuff by myself, aside from DS having a distraction, and working outside with daddy half the day most days. The only time DH got with the kids was at the end of the day(he does the night routine for our son), and pretty much just holds/plays with our daughter(she's 12 months). He mentioned that he would love to be able stay at home if I could get a job that would pay the bills. Of course he would, all he did the whole week besides his house projects was play with the kids. He's never juggled both kids by himself while trying to clean the floor, make dinner and pay bills, and remember to thaw the meat for tomorrows dinner and throw a load of laundry in. It's just not the same, and he'll never be able to empathize. Telling myself that makes me feel a little better, knowing that I work hard, and it's for the good of the whole family, just as much as DH works hard and makes the money for the good of the whole family. I'll never be able to empathize with him, and vice versa, so just trying to accept that your work is worthwhile, even though you don't want to do it every day and try to figure out little ways to "escape" the daily grind helps a ton!

Jennifer - posted on 05/04/2012

I really know how you feel. Every day its the same thing over and over again. Get up, make breakfast, clean house...blah...blah...blah. Its really sad because you start not to appreciate playing with your kids and everything just becomes a chore. I love them and some days are really good, but other days its like somebody please (not a toddler) come talk to me because I'm about to lose all my marbles.

Lenn - posted on 05/04/2012

My Hubby don't understand the "I NEED ME TIME". He says I get that enough cause I'M home all the time with our youngest. Our oldest is in school. Seems to think I have it made or something. I Love Both My Kids Dearly but I'd rather be working outside the house. I have always worked full time up until our son was about 10 months. He will be 4 in a few day & starts school in the fall. We agree'd that I would stay home with them until Son started school. Mainly because daycare for both kids was costing more than I got paid. Had planed on going back to work at least part time after my daughter started school just have had no luck with getting hours needed. Due to hubbys hours changing so much & me wanting to be home @ night with my kids. I don't know any SAHM in my area either so adult time is very little. & doesn't help that I'm not very social either.... GOOD LUCK TO YOU..... BE BLESSED

Susan - posted on 05/03/2012

hi hun im the size and here if u want a chat

Emily - posted on 05/02/2012

exactly how I feel. I dont want to clean anymore I dont want to be in my small apartment anymore. I dont know how i got to be like this

Kate - posted on 04/29/2012

I am a SAHM to 3 kids; 3 1/2& 2 1/2 yr old girls and a 7 month old boy today.......I'm in the same boat as @Maria & @Ashlee because my hobby works nights so I am with the kids literally 24/7 yes he gets up sometimes grabs something to eat sit on the computer........he needs to take NyQuil most of the time to knock him out cuz we are loud (2 bedroom small apt, so he hears EVERYTHING!!!) i try not to be but the oldest don't leave their brother alone and I tell them countless times! we have an iTouch for the older one be the middle one has my old iPhone so hubby let's them have it & I'm like they can't be on that ALL day (my oldest knows how to go on YouTube look at howdini cakes but then gets out it it and eventually gets to things she shouldn't be watching) so part of that chore chart will be like 1/2 itouch only and they will only be able to play app games

I am going to make 2 charts because they need things to do and we just sit around so there will be like a chore list 10 AM dishes 2 pm craft time....things like that. The older ones don't take naps anymore so for them to be quiet while their brother tries is like pulling teeth
The 2nd chart is a meal chart.....I don't mind cooking I just never know what to cook......

I suggest a chart when u clean the bathroom, noon for lunch things like that hopefully it helps u
Good luck

Sheena - posted on 04/20/2012

I am a stay at home mom and feel like I am going crazy about everyday. My 3 yr old has a temper and it drives me crazy

Kim - posted on 04/19/2012

join a play group!!! If you have friends that have older kids, a lot of times the older ones love to play with the younger ones while you & their mom have some grown up time!!! Friends from church, etc. Don't feel as if you need to do this all yourself. I got depressed after becoming a stay at home mom but once I realized that if I do it all by myself I WILL be depressed or I can go find others who are more than willing to help snap me out of the craziness... sometimes just taking the kids out to the park & let them play & have a picnic or whatever is fun... doesn't have to be more than bottles of water & pb&j's, go to a museum, the zoo (our zoo has at least 1 free day or you can have a membership to the zoo or museums or whatever! Hope this helps!!!

Christine - posted on 04/14/2012

I am right there with you! I was put on "limited activity"/off of work on March 14th. The baby is due May 3rd. I have cleaned the house spotless (a little each day) and keep up with it. I make a to do list.... so I have something to look forward to the next day.. but I am so winded by doing simple things that I am BORED! TIRED AND BORED. I try hard not to count down or over analyze everything to try to predict when labor will start. I feel your pain!!!! :)

Tera - posted on 04/14/2012

Thanx to all who've replied.

Meredith - posted on 04/12/2012

Here is an update to my post from last month.. I've continued to make sure I have my workout time at least 5 to 6 days a week.. Since I have more energy I don't flop back into bed after I get my two older kids to school.. I have about 2 hours of quite before the younger two (3 yr old and 8 month old) wake up.. I get kitchen cleaned if I ran out of time the night before.. Throw laundry in..Make myself breakfast sit down, yes I said sit down. .Relax and not have to wolf my food down..Since I started working out in January I've lost 18 lbs and 28.5 inches no more baby weight.. Now to just tone.. Here is something that has helped motivate me as well..



The 3 C's of Life

Choices, Chances, Changes

You must make a

choice to take a chance

or your life will never change



We are role models for our children and we should be at our best.. But to be at our best we must take the time to take care of ourselves.

Patty - posted on 04/12/2012

i can relate. i don,t drive so i,m in the house all day. i go bowling on sunday nights and it,s alot of fun=-). sometimes it helps to have neighbors who are also sahms. maybe you can organize a mommy group in your neighborhood.

Chrissie - posted on 04/11/2012

If you find out how please let me know, I'm struggling to stay sane with 2 kids 37 weeks pregnant! I cry eveyday... I would give anything for a nanny!

Anna - posted on 04/10/2012

I use to feel the same way, then I have recently gotten involved with church, and other events for my kids. I also go out to exercise , rather it is a jog through the neighborhood, or to my local gym. I have found , that I can either mope around the house feeling sorry for myself, which let's face it , is not a life any of us want, or I can go and find something to do, and my kids are happier too. Keep an eye out for things available in your community newspaper, rather it be festivials or even groups that meet , maybe a local book club. The idea is to find things that interest YOU or your kids. When you are involved, or even exercising you are going to feel much better!

Tiara - posted on 04/10/2012

I agree! I am 38 weeks pregnant and I lost my job in November of this past year and I have been working since I was 15, and my fiance as to use the vehicle to get to and from work right now. So I don't have a way to get out of the house unless I call my friends and I feel bad always having to bum rides! It totally sucks!



Follow me: http://tiaraandalexsbabygirl.blogspot.co...

Angelina - posted on 04/10/2012

During the week my 20 month old and i sit down and do "school". I have an ABCmouse.com account and she gets threw about 1 lesson before she wants to run around. lol its fun and she can count to 4! lol not that big of a deal but i think its amazing for a 20 month old.

Julie - posted on 04/09/2012

SET GOALS - what do you want your children to know ... that will help them the rest of their lives:

TOO - if you KNEW you only had 7 days to live, what would you want to have/get done? Photo albums updated... letter to grandparents ... letters to teacher(s) ...

Do you want your little ones to know their alphabet - their colors - who family emmebrs are (make a small bulletin board for them).

Teach them the childhood songs you knew and loved.

Get a good book to read for when they are napping... (better yet, nap with them)

Make a list of things you can only do while they are napping (as you wil always wake up before they do)

Write them a letter in case of your untimely death - telling them how much you love them; what it was like the day they were born, etc,; do a family tree for them; color with them; let them help you cook, do laundry, etc.,

LOVE THEM - they really ARE going to be gone before you know it ... ♥ No one - them or us, is promised tomorrow ...

Tara - posted on 04/09/2012

Hi! I am a sahm with three boys and I do college online, I can totally understand! I just keep looking towards the future. Each boy goes to pre school but on separate weeks. So one goes one week the other goes the next week. So I have one almost 4 year old and our 12 week old every week. I am in college, but sometimes I just want to throw it down the drain and get a job just to get out of the house, but instead I try and find things to keep me busy!

Angelina - posted on 04/07/2012

oh ladies i feel for ya. im 20 months into this stay at home mom thing and i feel like i have had 6 or seven meltdowns because i do nothing it feels like all day long. 2 of those meltdowns have landed me in 2 different mental health facilities. So i know what ya mean. i actually had another little mental breakdown today. I am just so Tiered of doing everything around the house and chasing a toddler, I am just sick of not having friends anymore. None of my old friends have kids nor a steady relationship. All they want to do is go get drunk and hit on random men. That has never been and i dont think it will ever be my idea of a good time. I am tiered of being tiered. I am tiered of being home alone, with the only conversation i have is

"mommy, mommy, mommy......

"yes Xoe?"

"KahKah."

i love my daughter and i love having the opportunity to be able to stay home with her for these short years that she isnt in school. i wouldnt trade this for anything. I just miss having that adult connection that can and maybe will last as long as we are alive. Life long friends that if its an emergency we would drop what we are doing and be there for eachother. my mom has 2 of these kind of frinds, and they have been friends as far back as i can remember and they are still friends even tho they live in San Diego California and my mom lives in Boise Idaho. I have 2 friends that i have know for a couple years but they just dont understand the Stay at home mom thing. They think i should get a job, or go to school and just leave my daughter in daycare. I dont want to do that but i would like companionship that can relate to my stay at home mom-ness.

Kirstyn - posted on 04/04/2012

I feel for you i had my son 4 months ago and im starting to go insane being home all the time with nothing to do my house is so clean that there really isnt much else i can do i wanna get a job but i feel kinda guilty for leaveing my son home while i work :( I love him to death dont get me wrong i just get so restless sitting here all day

Ashlee - posted on 04/04/2012

I feel ya too girl, I have 5 kids 5 and under. My 5 year old goes to school 8-2, but my husband works nights so I have them all by myself while he is at work. It doesnt' help that he isn't much help during the week at day time because he is resting. I also have 2 with special needs and 1 that is nursing so its rough, but just hang in there eventually they will be in school and doing after school activities!

Maria - posted on 04/03/2012

I agree Gaby i feel the same way specially because my husband works night shift so he sleeps almost all day so its just me and my 2yr old and 3 yr old all day at home it gets frustrating

Ema - posted on 04/02/2012

i'm with you there hunny...I have a 2yr an 4yr old...boy an girl....I'm also a single mum...I have been seeing my boyfriend for nearly a year now...and it has helped me alot having some adult company....he doesn't live with me atm so sometimes when the kids are in bed...I feel a bit isolated and lonly....i found that when i had babies...your old friends don't find you that interesting anymore so don't invite you out much..if at all....i try to keep in contact with adults through social networks and I have a couple mum friends that I try to talk to and see when time permits.....it'll be fine in the end...but sometimes i do find myself at night crying a bit an feeling sorry for myself..lol...ahhh well....we'll miss it when they leave home....my social skills are a bit buggered atm if i'm honest...xx

Lindsey - posted on 04/01/2012

I know exactly how you feel I have a two year old at home and I feel like between my husband and him no matter how much I clean its always a mess at the end of the night. Also my husband is in the military so we are in the middle of no where with no family. I would love some adult conversation lol

Alison - posted on 04/01/2012

i feel the same and its hard with a newborn because you cant just let them cry for an hr they always need to be tended to

Becky - posted on 03/29/2012

I understand exactly what you are going through, I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years now......first thing you need to do, REALIZE that you are still you, and that you are important and so are your needs and wants. You are more than a Mom, more than just the maid, or the cook, or the driver....You still need to have interests that you enjoy,, if you like to garden, then start some seedlings(BUT this is gonna be the hard part, actually remembering what you like to do, sometimes we tend to forget who we were before kids, and other times we have changed so drasticly we aren't even close to the same person, just take time to think about it and then make it happen)...I know it can seem overwhelming like you have no time to do anything, and you feel like if you don't have time to have a spotless house then you don't have time to do anything fun either.....WRONG! You need to have some ME time or you will eventually become resentful and go crackers....you need to get out of the house once in awhile too, and I don't mean to go grocery shopping or to pay bills, or go to doctors appointments....at least once a month, pick a day and go out with another adult(only adults no kids), even if it's just for coffee.....it's all easier said than done to try to give yourself me time everyday, and to try to still have a social life outside of your house....but it's totally needed in order to be a good mother, and you will be suprised how much less you hate the restlessness when you actually get out now and then and have me time....hopefully this advice helps, I don't usually log on to this page too often but for some reason I did tonight and I'm glad I did, hopefully it helps you feel less alone in your struggles and helps you get back on track to where you want to be.

Laura - posted on 03/28/2012

Don't be sorry for venting Samantha! It's nice to know that we're not the only ones who are having a rough time! :)

Samantha - posted on 03/27/2012

i symathize!! i have a 19 month old daughter and a 5 1/2 month old son, she is goin thru terrible 2s and doesnt want to listen, hes teething, has severe gas, spits up all the time, and has "lap colic" thanks to his grandpa, we have been living with my in-laws since november, my husband had lost his job the week after our son was born, but luckily found another, we are waitin on approval for a house, honestly between my kids and in-laws most days i wanna pull my hair out and cry, and was recently told i have post partum* by my mother-in-law who USED to be a nurse, sometimes i wanna tell her to shove it, my husband is only off on saturday, so i got the kids 24/7 literally, in-laws dont help me with them...hang in there girl..ur not alone!! :) sorry vented a little here

Holly Jo - posted on 03/27/2012

I agree 100% with Ikwo. Lots of prayer. Children are a blessing and being able to stay home with my child is so special. If you are not enjoying your time with your child being a stay at home mom might not be for you. I know moms that have tried to stay home with their children and realized staying at home was not for them. Now that it is spring maybe things will be different. You can go outside more and enjoy the weather. Also I think you should find friends your age and your child's age at church. Have them come over during the week day, your child needs there age friends just like you do. If you don't want to meet at your house go to the park and play with a snack or picnic. If you are restless your child is restless!!!

Loris - posted on 03/27/2012

I feel like you, nothing to do, I don't even drive, we don't have a car right now, so is all day at home :-( depressing

Bella - posted on 03/27/2012

I went through this phase for 2 years when my kid was just a baby. Was really going crazy. There are little things that may help. Go for small shopping outings or even online. You don't have to order anything expensive, but anything that makes you happy.

Take up a hobby, that you killed in your working days. Even if you can't do justice to it completely, it will be something to smile about.

Most importantly, don't let yourself think that you are worthless. You are doing something that nobody else can do.

Ikwo - posted on 03/26/2012

If you are a Christian, get more involved in your church and see what the Lord will do. Its not easy to stay without friends but believe me Jesus is more than a friend.

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2012

god laura i know what you mean. you just cant win. the mothers here like to brag about how wonderful their husbands are and how much money they have when im sitting there alone with no husband, no partner no money. depressing. never again x

Laura - posted on 03/25/2012

Once again sarah... same with me!!! Why is it that if my daughter gets along with another child, the mother is a total jerk.... but if I get along with the mother, the child is a demon?!??! Anyone else notice this? lol

Sarah - posted on 03/24/2012

the mothers group in my area is rubbish because nobody makes newcomers feel welcome, they all look down on you and are all very cliquy. this made me feel worse thann i did before i went in, plus most of the kids were brats and the mothers didnt even bother to keep the children in check all too busy gossiping.

Emy - posted on 03/24/2012

try to get into the mothers group in your area.

Char - posted on 03/23/2012

I love being my kids primary caregiver but I agree, being at home does feel remarkably isolating and frustrating sometimes! Hang in there girls! -)

Meredith - posted on 03/23/2012

I so can relate..I need to share this.. I felt this way in December.. I'm home with my four kids son 9yrs old, three daughters 7 yr, 3yr and 7 months. Older two are in school during the day : )



But I was a prescription away from depression medication. I took it but didn't fill it (nothing against anyone that has, everyone is different). I wanted to have control of me and how I feel. I started putting me first!! How can we take care of everyone and the house if we feel awful and not happy with ourselves.



I scheduled a time for "ME" to workout everyday.. I set up my 3yr old with something to do play-dough, puzzles, coloring.. Baby in swing or high chair.. now she is more mobile I set her up on the rug behind me so she watches me while playing with her toys..Then in the afternoon when there are no kids sports take kids for a walk in neighborhood.



There are not enough words to describe how amazing I feel. I'm happy, full of energy not mad at everyone or feeling irritated, stopped the emotional eating which sent me over the edge trying to find something to wear for a party in December.. Taking control of me has also allowed me to loose 13 lbs and 27 inches since January..



Yes laundry sucks and all the cleaning but it all just falls into place and gets done because I'm at a better frame of mind.. I hope this is helpful...

Christina - posted on 03/23/2012

your not alone love. Ive always been an outgoing and very social person. SInce I had my daughter that has all had to come to an end. Very annoying and i loose myself from time to time, but one week is good onne week is bad.

Sarah - posted on 03/22/2012

hi laura, thanks for that, its so hard. my son was my first baby and they were a nightmare you know they had money big fancy house etc, i believed i couldnt offer him what they could. its been near two years since i have seen him but to be honest, for his sake i dont want to waltz back in and take him away because he is happy there he is in school now and has friends and i dont think it would be right for him to uproot him. i have kept every email from them to say why i cant see him, so when he is older he will want to know the truth and then i can explain it to him.

i have my daughter now and i have to focus on her. its hard with no help but i have nobody to thank for anything. she is doing good and thats all that matters. everything else will fall into place. i did go to a lwyer about getting to see him but by the time it has taken its all too late now i think so i just closed the case. dunno what else to do about it all.

Sarah - posted on 03/22/2012

hi laura, thanks for that, its so hard. my son was my first baby and they were a nightmare you know they had money big fancy house etc, i believed i couldnt offer him what they could. its been near two years since i have seen him but to be honest, for his sake i dont want to waltz back in and take him away because he is happy there he is in school now and has friends and i dont think it would be right for him to uproot him. i have kept every email from them to say why i cant see him, so when he is older he will want to know the truth and then i can explain it to him.

i have my daughter now and i have to focus on her. its hard with no help but i have nobody to thank for anything. she is doing good and thats all that matters. everything else will fall into place. i did go to a lwyer about getting to see him but by the time it has taken its all too late now i think so i just closed the case. dunno what else to do about it all.

Laura - posted on 03/22/2012

Oh Sarah.... My mother was the exact same way when I had my son Dylan. I had just turned 18 right before he was born and she forbid me to live with his father, so me and my son lived with her untill he was 2 1/2 and she never missed an opportunity to criticise everything I did. My son doesn't even have his father's last name because her and my dad talked me out of it. According to her, I couldn't feed him right, bathe him right, or mother him right. I did give up for a while and just let her take over. I started seeing a psychiatrist for my depression and after quite a few sessions and me finally agreeing to try some medication, I opened up about my mother. He told me honestly that the only way to get my life the way I wanted it to be, would be to move out of my parents house. I took his advice and moved in with my sister and her husband, and my boyfriend ( son's father). It was GREAT!! I made the rules and I was the mom! :) It's been 8 years (and 1 baby sister and marriage later) and we are all a happy family. My mom still tries to control things with my son but now I'm confident enough in myself to know that I WILL make the best decisions for him. I NEVER gave her the opportunity to give me advice about my daughter Izzy, for fear that she would get back" in my head", if you know what i mean. I'm sorry about what you're going through with your son. It breaks my heart.

Nicole - posted on 03/21/2012

I completly understand how you feel. I love my children and would do anything for them, but it is not easy to be a stay at home mom. You basically give up your social life and many of your friends to take care of your children. (Especially the friends without children who do not understand) Which in my case was every single one of them! Just remember that you need YOU time. That is how I stay sain! Hope this helps!

Sarah - posted on 03/21/2012

i understand what your saying, i have a little boy who is now 5 and the mother in law and father in law completely took over, bringing me down so i felt utter useless.eventually it got so bad that i never felt like his mum anymore, and now he lives with them and they wont let me see him now. nightmare. so with my daughter now i dont accept help or advice as im scared it will happen again..

dont let her comment on anything anymore and stand up to her before it gets worse. its your child not hers

Sarah - posted on 03/21/2012

hi, i know exactly how you feel, i have an 11month old and her dad left us 3 days after christmas, i live in a secluded area and actually hate talking to people. i have no family here and its so lonely. i only leave the house to get milk and then straight back home. its done me no favours because i met a lovely guy a few weeks ago, and we went to stay overnight at his house the other night. sophia didnt go to sleep till midnight, and then was up 45 minutes later hysterical and wouldnt stop crying. i just wanted her to shut up. i eventually had to go home. i was embarassed. i feel so alone too and its not getting any better. fair enough she sleeps all night but sometimes i just wish i wouldnt wake up alive.

the mums around here are all very cliquey and its that kind of area that only talks to you to know your business, and i hate that. so i just avoid everybody.

will it get any easier or is this it forever?

Courtni - posted on 03/20/2012

Jade look on your city's website for children's activities and go to meetup.com to find playgroups in your area. Try to get out of the house at least once a week and take your son for walks around your neighborhood. My son is 3 years and 3 months. Hard to keep him occupied, but even just one trip out of the house each week helps.

Jade - posted on 03/19/2012

I just became a stay at home mom and I'm trying to find activities for my 3 year boy to do in the palm harbor area. I'm going crazy staying in the house with him, any suggestions??

Jennifer - posted on 03/19/2012

i know what u are going throw i am a stay for 2 lil boy 3 years and 7 moths and husband work all day i get to see him on the weekends they best thing i can say is tired to get me time in cause if u do not u will go crazy i do not get a lot of me but if that means let the lil baby play for while it will ok