as a stay at home mom did you lose your friends?

Carrie - posted on 08/06/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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i became a stay at home mom when my daughter was a year old. loved being home with her, when she became three we brought another beautiful baby girl into the world, love my little girls but yet i find that i have emersed myself in taking care of my beautiful babes and seem to have lost my friends in the process, sometimes because they weren't in the same place in life i am. Any ways any suggestions on how to get these friends back now that two years later they all seem to be in the same place(ie married or having kids) or where to meet other moms that don't have many friends either? i just feel very lonely even though i absolutely love being home with my girls.

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Paula - posted on 10/18/2013

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I totally agree. When I had my dd I lost half my friends when I split my ex, then my bf got lost a bit too as she wasn't in the same place I was. But we still kept in touch. Now I am a single sahm and she's married with a tot I felt it was time to get back in the books so to speak, and have been introduced to some her friends, one of whom could possibly become a good friend to me too. We have been meeting up about once a month over the last 5 mths so its good start. But now I am single she doesn't have anyone single male friends to set me up with. Lol.

Shastin - posted on 05/18/2011

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Try to find a MOPS group in your area. It's a Mom's group with lots of activities and support. You will find lots of women that are at the same point in life as you are.

Stifler's - posted on 08/09/2010

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I live away from my friends, so I didn't see them much before but we're still close.

Brittany - posted on 08/09/2010

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I understand how you feel. I lost my job when my son was a couple months old and haven't worked since. He's a year and a half now and we are expecting our 2nd child. I'm 20 years old and I understand the feeling of ALONE. I absolutely love spending time with my son but he is a hand full. He's a very energetic little boy and seem to see that most of my friends don't even bother anymore. And when I do confront them or want to hang out they say are you sure you can get away. Upsetting a little but I got rid of them. My counselor has been telling me to find groups in my area called mommy and me where other moms get together and talk and etc. I just can't find any in my area.

Jeannie - posted on 08/09/2010

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Yes, I have lost friends and it is very hard. There are days when I want someone besides my husband to talk to about women stuff that men just dont get. I find it very hard now as an adult to make new friends and even at times trying to keep in contact with old friends. I feel like I have nothing in common with my old friends. It has shown me how to love my son and husband more because they are all I have.

Bobie - posted on 08/09/2010

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fortunately for me, i didnt lose my friends. infact ive been in contact with them and sees them more now than before. ive been a SAHM for a year now. the good thing is that my friends come over to my place as often as they like and we get to do stuff that i havent even done when i was still single... like just a week ago, my family and my friends families went camping together and we all had a very nice time.
just try to contact them urself, chat with each other.. or whatever. iknow its not easy to go places where u can meet friends when u have a child with u, but there would be a time where everybody can compromise and meet on a day thats convenient for everybody. i guess my friends find it easier for them to visit me and keep in touch now that im a SAHM and i believe that they do know how boring it would get sometimes to be just staying at home ( even with your little bundle keeping you company)... my friends are married but no kids of their own yet.

Jackie - posted on 08/09/2010

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Lots of good advice already offered. I agree with what many have replied. My kids are in their teens now. But when they were little libraries and church were good places to meet other Moms. Some exercise clubs may offer "Mom and Me" classes. Read the local newspaper to find community events.
Best of luck.

Carrie - posted on 08/08/2010

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thanks for all the advice and support ladies......its nice to know that i am not the only one thats felt like this. i am trying to make some new friends!

Melany - posted on 08/07/2010

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Definitely call your friends up and maybe invite some over for a playdate if they have children now as well. Moms need time with other mommies. There are multiple ways to meet other moms as well - Mom's Clubs, Church (i.e. Sunday Schools or Bible Studies are best to meet other people), the Park or Community Pool, etc. I made new friends when I started staying home with my kids. Once they start school, you begin making friends with the other mommies too.

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I agree with Elisabeth. Just give them a call and ask if they want to go to coffee or something sometime. An old friend of mine called me a couple weeks ago and it totally made my day!! She apologized for having been too self involved to call for a year or so (she was working on her PhD) but I had been just as self involved raising my little one, so we called it a draw, made plans for coffee and now we have a regular coffee date every week.

Some of my friends are probably go forever, but I have made a lot of new friends in my "mommy career" as well. We go to story times, I meet moms at his sports, chat with moms at the park, and some of those conversations have lead to great friendships.

I do find that, as a mom, I am no longer as "close" to my friends as I used to be. I have 3 friends who I feel like I am really close to and can call for anything. Back before my child came, that number was a lot higher, but then, we all had a lot less on our plates....I guess

Shannon - posted on 08/07/2010

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yes i lost a few people who i thought were friends as i don't go out much any more & choose to spend time with my little family. im currently looking for a good mothers group as its easier when you have friends in similar situations

Nikky - posted on 08/07/2010

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i became closer to some of my friends and drifted from others but my closest friends now i met at mother and toddler groups or things like baby yoga and we arrange a playdate for the kids even if its just in the back garden. I would have a bbq and invite these people with there kids, it gives you a chance to catch up while the kids are playing.

Christina - posted on 08/06/2010

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I lost a lot of friends that weren't at that point in their lives when i was. It disappointed me but it wasn't really anyones fault. Some of those people now have kids and we caught up on facebook or ran into each other in town. I meet other moms in places like kid readings at the library and borders i also meet moms online. They all help even if you dont go out because sometimes it just nice to talk or chat with someone that knows what your talking about or actually cares.
i hope you find the connection you are looking for.

Julie - posted on 08/06/2010

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I know the feeling after my 2nd daughter was born the friends that i hung around with at the job i was at we really don't stay in contact it not soo easy when your at a different path in life than they are.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/06/2010

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just call these people up/ Tell them you saw them or were thinking about them. What ever it maybe, call them up. If they have kids invite them on a park outing. It doesn't take that much. And you can still meet new people and have your old friends

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