At home Blues!

Amber - posted on 01/25/2009

I love your post! I thought I was the only one who gets 'erked' when people advise "get out". I understand completely!

Amber - posted on 01/25/2009

Quoting Christina:

I totally hear ya!  My son is 5 1/2 months old and since he was born, I'm a stay at home mom.  My days consist of entertaining him, cleaning, running errands, and cooking...yipee.

It sucks cause I don't live near my family and friends, I live in my husband's home town.  And basically the area I live in that people have lived here most of the lives and already have their friends, and aren't interested in making new ones.  Which, I'm totally not used to...I used to live in Orlando, where everyone is a transplant, and I met new people ALL the time...but owell.  I've just learned to cope.  I probably spend more time on Facebook than I should, LOL, so feel free to add me if you ever want to chat. :)  I think you should just try to meet people whenever you can, make friends through this forum (since we're all in the same boat, we have something in common) and once and awhile, take time for you...

BTW, I love it when people are like.. "Go out and do something, get involved, blah blah".  First of all, get involved in what?  And drag my 5 1/2 month old to it?  No.  Plus, it's freaking winter time here (I live in Illinois) and I don't want to go out!! :)

Take Care

Christina

Amber - posted on 01/25/2009

I'm right there too. 3 sons, ages 7-2. Husband works evening shift, double shifts, commutes to work. We live far from family & friends. I get invloved in some activites for the kids, but sometimes (alot of times) it's too overwhelming to take all 3 with me for one practice or class. Babysitter was a possibility but not in the budget. I have casual friends, but it's not the same. Blues come and go. Advice can get irritating when it's simply 'get out and get involved', when that can cause even more problems. Grrrr! One day at a time! Vent here! Rejoyce in the goodness of motherhood!!!

Alisha - posted on 01/24/2009

Quoting Jacqui:

Wow.. I am not alone in this world. I have a 2 month old and a two year. And I feel the same way. I get so lonely and just want to get out of the house and talk to adults. I get excited to go check the mail... sad hugh! But I do love my kids, and glad that I am the one that's raiseing them. No one else..

That cracks me up!!!!!!!!  I get excited to check the mail too, but thought maybe I was the only one! Ha!!

Amanda - posted on 01/23/2009

I understand how you feel!!  I have a one year old and a two year old and I have recently become a stay at home mom.  My husband and I have talked about me going back to work but childcare is too expensive so I have to stay home.  There are a lot of days that I crave adult interaction!!  It is harder than people realize to stay home with your kids and then also to add other peoples kids. Maybe if you know someone else that does home daycare you could plan a big play date.  That way you could talk to each other and the kids could make new friends and play.  I hope this helps!!

Elizabeth - posted on 01/23/2009

I totally understand.  And I am glad to know that I am not alone!  I feel blessed to be able to stay home with my babies and I get down on myself for feeling sad or depressed--because I do get lonely.  So it helps to know I am not the only one and it is normal.  And my husband is very supportive and will make me get out of the house so I can recharge--and even then I feel quilty that I need that.  But moms do need a 'time out' so they are 100% for their kids!!

Jacqui - posted on 01/23/2009

Wow.. I am not alone in this world. I have a 2 month old and a two year. And I feel the same way. I get so lonely and just want to get out of the house and talk to adults. I get excited to go check the mail... sad hugh! But I do love my kids, and glad that I am the one that's raiseing them. No one else..

Lissa - posted on 01/23/2009

Wow! The response from all of you, kept me really busy and entertained. It helped to know that Im not the only one who goes through these emotions and guilt. I've never tried a forum like this and I really feel like I have a little bit of a social life anyways :) I did try the advice of watching wat I eat. I started my day with oatmeal, banana, OJ and milk...and I have really felt energized. I got a lot done and had a good day. I didnt have time to just sit here and dwell on how life is outside these walls! Thanks for talking to me and listening to me. Im glad I found this site. :) Have a good weekend!

Sharon - posted on 01/22/2009

Are you close with your parents or inlaws?

I often find that I feel lonely and down with the constant in the house due to these winter months in New England.

If at all possible, would your parents or inlaws take your daughter on every other friday or saturday night so that you could host a "B*tch and stitch" or a book club or something of that nature so you can get together with other adults and after you and your hubby can have the evening to yourself when your guests go home?

It is hard. I almost NEVER get out without my son. Maybe every 3 or 4 months for an evening with some girlfriends (Single mom).

Christina - posted on 01/22/2009

I totally hear ya!  My son is 5 1/2 months old and since he was born, I'm a stay at home mom.  My days consist of entertaining him, cleaning, running errands, and cooking...yipee.

It sucks cause I don't live near my family and friends, I live in my husband's home town.  And basically the area I live in that people have lived here most of the lives and already have their friends, and aren't interested in making new ones.  Which, I'm totally not used to...I used to live in Orlando, where everyone is a transplant, and I met new people ALL the time...but owell.  I've just learned to cope.  I probably spend more time on Facebook than I should, LOL, so feel free to add me if you ever want to chat. :)  I think you should just try to meet people whenever you can, make friends through this forum (since we're all in the same boat, we have something in common) and once and awhile, take time for you...

BTW, I love it when people are like.. "Go out and do something, get involved, blah blah".  First of all, get involved in what?  And drag my 5 1/2 month old to it?  No.  Plus, it's freaking winter time here (I live in Illinois) and I don't want to go out!! :)

Take Care

Christina

Carrie - posted on 01/22/2009

Hey there I'm a stay at home mother of 3, a 4 year old (he'll be 5 next week), a 3 year old and a 8 month old. Most people don't understand how hard it is to be a stay at home mom and all the jobs you do when you are one. I also have 9 brothers and sisters and 3 nieces and nephews so I really know what life is like being stuck inside. To make it feel like I'm not going completely insane I do a few things...1st of all I have a nice warm cup of coffee in the morning with my husband who is off to work at 8:30am and I'm always there to greet him when he comes home at around 12am-2am (depending on the night) so he can vent and so I can vent. Also I'm pretty active in our church. I have a core group of friends that I met at church who also have kids and we call and check up on eachother and just are there for eachother when we're having bad days...or need some hangout time or whatever. If church isn't your thing, maybe there's someone in your family who has friends with kids whos also in the same boat as you. I hope this helped a little

Cheryl - posted on 01/22/2009

Go get a job as if what you are doing isn't the hardest job on this planet!?! I have no advise to give. When I'm in need of adult convo I call my man at work( he hates it) Even 2 min with him makes me happy. Is there a park walking distince? Fresh air and other moms might do the trick.

Tanisha - posted on 01/22/2009

hay i think wat u are doing is good im a stay at home mum im 16 and my baby cums 1st if i took him 2 day care i would feel so bad i want 2 be dar 4 him as much as i can

Tawnie - posted on 01/22/2009

Hi ladies...I completely understand. I remember the first few months at home were blissful and then the stir-crazy (and for me I mean crazy) set in. I was contantly in the throes of guilt, I want my children to have outside interaction, I need to make a living, and I want to be home with my boys...yet I still need "me time". Like Haley, I started my own business in direct marketing and it has changed my life!!! I am an independent consultant with Arbonne Intl. I am able to be home with my children and have playdates during the day while my husband works, and then a few nights a week I am able to interact with adults and earn an income. I wouldn't change this lifestyle for the world. We can even afford to put our own children in pre-school a few days a week so they can play with others in a wonderful environment. Feel free to check out http://www.arbonne.com/company/opportuni... or email me at believeinbeauty@gmail.com. There are many wonderful direct marketing opportunites available...I hope this helps!

Haley - posted on 01/22/2009

Hi, my name is Haley and I saw your post.  I had done in home daycare for the last ten years and I know what you mean.  I was going crazy because I had no adult conversation.  About 6 months ago I decided I needed to find something else to do but still wanted to be home with my daughter but still have the freedom to get out of the house if I needed to.  I came across a company called Ameriplan.  I was watching Good Morning America and they were voted the #1 Work at Home Company in the US. I decided to give it a try and I absolutely love it.  I have made a great income and have been able to quit my daycare.  I have the freedom to get out of the house when need be and have the adult conversation that I craved.  Please visit my website http://www.freedomathometeam.com/haleyqu...

Tina - posted on 01/22/2009

yes it does get better Heather, my girls are 14 months apart so i know what it is like to have to young kids so close in age. at first i didnt wanna go anywhere alone with them cus it was so much work just carting them around but as they got a little bigger i started taking them out for lunch and shopping. it is best to start out taking them to a local park or playground that way you can play with both of them and not be stuck at home.

Jackie - posted on 01/22/2009

I hear you!! I stay home too.  I always seem to get a little down this time of year.  My hubby is away 12 hours a day and it's just me and the kidlets... In the winter it's hard because it's cold out and the weather isnt always the greatest to go play outdoors.  I love the weather from spring - fall... it's awesome!!

Are there any play groups in your area?? I go to playgroup sometimes with my two year old.. she plays and I have adult conversation .....

Good Luck!  and don't worry.. your not alone!

Heather - posted on 01/22/2009

I also get the blues! I thought maybe I was the only one and I have definitely been feeling guilty about it because I know what a blessing it is to be able to stay home. I have a 4month old and a 20month old and I don't even feel comfortable enough to go out with them alone yet. I am wondering if it gets better!

Wendy - posted on 01/22/2009

I understand, too. I have been home for about 2 years now. I went from City Clerk to "home clerk", lol! My girls are 11 and 6. It is hard to deal with. My girls are in school all day, so I am alone. I really can't go anywhere because I can't drive yet. I have epilepsy, so after a seizure I have 2 wait 6 months to drive.



Just to have ladies to talk to and vent to helps so much. I have made many new friends here already. Its nice to just be able to be yourself. Good luck to you and hope to talk to you soon. ~wendy

Tina - posted on 01/22/2009

I totaly understand i am a stay at home mom with a 2 yr. and 3yr. old my husband works the evening shift so i get pretty lonely...all the time. what i do to help is i get a babysitter once a week and go out to karaoke and meet up with friends or anything just to get myself out of the house without the kids to get that adult interaction that i need. I find it really helps and gives me something to look forward to all week. and me and my husband make a point to go on a date at least once a month to reconect cus we barly see each other cus his work hours.

Ashley - posted on 01/22/2009

I just went from teaching 3rd grade to staying home, and let me tell you it is a HUGE lifestyle change. I have always wanted to stay home with my baby, so it was a blessing to know that I could...but I didn't realize how "different" it would be. I do have "the blues" somedays, as you call it. If it's nice outside, I will go outdoors with my baby. Maybe you could try taking your "kids" to the park...exercise always helps me feel better. Also, watch what you are eating during the day...junk food tends to make me feel more "down," than if I eat high protein and fruits and veggies...maybe 'cause I eat WAY too much junk food! hahaha!

If you can't go outside, maybe you could plan an art activity or something fun for the kids to do once a day so that you have something to look forward to. Hope this helps!...and know that I am right there with you!

Carissa - posted on 01/22/2009

I totally feel ya! I stay at home with my 2 yr old and it gets very lonely and at times depressing. I live away from my friends and family so that makes it even worse. My husband gets home late so by the time he gets home I just want to crash and relax and let him take over. Thats good that you have a inhome daycare, that is something to keep you busy with the other little ones running around. Winter time is no fun too, you can't take them out to play. Someone told me to "get involved", but where do you go to get involved?

Katie - posted on 01/22/2009

I wish that i had good advice, but i am in the same boat. I babysit one toddler and have my 3yr. old and my 16month old at home too. When he go's home my other two get home from school and being a mom is non stop. I can never get a brake. Even when my husband gets home it is like having another kid at home. You are not the only one who gets the at home blues.