Bathing kids together

Arlene - posted on 04/25/2011 ( 44 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. My husband is in the military and has been deployed for 5 months now and isn't coming home for another 1 or 2 months. I bath my kids together because for me right now, it's the easiest way to do it. I'm just wondering at what age does it become inappropriate? Does it make a difference that I have a boy and girl?

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Dionne - posted on 04/25/2011

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I am trying to remember how I did this with my oldest two kids. I would say when the boy since he is oldest does not want to bath with the sister then I would seperate them. One thing to watch for is when he starts noticing body part differences either on you or the sister. A lot of it would depend on his maturity level, use your mom instincts, if he is not really noticing differences of the sexes then bath themtogether since it is easier for you. For my younger two kids, they are 9 and 10 now, they stopped wanting to bath together around six I think. So he will kind of bring it up to you when he gets tired of sharing his bath time with the sister. When this happens then do your daughter with your bath if you still need to combine the bath time. Kids let ya know when enough is enough. Otherwise, repeating what I said earlier, when the body starts changing into figures and they two of them notice those changes.

Sylvie - posted on 05/04/2011

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I wouldn't worry about it until one of the kids doesn't want to bath with the other anymore. Follow their lead. My kids are 5 1/2yrs(boy) and 2 1/2yrs(girl), and they're still bathing together, and don't see any sign of them needing their own space yet.

Oh, and my kids know what eachothers parts are. There is no need to stop when they start being curious of differences. I'm saying this, because I noticed someone saying that when they start asking them it's time to stop them from bathing together. If it was the case, they would of stopped a long time ago. And there is no shame in this house as it should be. It's the human body and no one should be ashamed of it.

Lisa - posted on 04/25/2011

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My 4 YO and 2 YO sometimes bath together. However, she is asking to take baths without him and we respect that.
I think it becomes inappropriate when one of them start to feel uncomfortable with it.

Nikki - posted on 04/25/2011

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I agree that about 4-6 is old enough. However, you know your kids and just have to watch for the signs they show.

Christina - posted on 04/25/2011

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I have a 2 year old boy & a 3 year old girl & I've bathed them together since the boy was about 10 months old. I think it's ok until they're about 5 or 6, when they're old enough to pay attention to differences.

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Gil - posted on 05/05/2013

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I see no problem with it. My brother and I were bathed together by mom and dad until we were both about 10 I think, can't really remember. Just remembering it was all ok.

Blanca - posted on 05/04/2011

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Well i have a friend that her son that is 10 molested his 4 yr old sister so i really dont think it is ok on my half because im very cautious about even wen they have to pee or change there clothes .. Its always in the bathroom ..

Blanca - posted on 05/04/2011

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Hi .. Well i believe in not taking kids a bath together because they gona get use to of being ok seeing each other naked and curiosity start when they 6 so good luck

Karen - posted on 05/04/2011

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I think you are doing fine!!! I do not think that anyone can judge you because you bathe them together! I do believe that at some point there is a cut off, but as long as they know that there is a difference and they are raised without feeling ashamed of being nude, and it's totally innocent like bathing, I believe you are fine!! BUT I would not bathe them after the age of 5 or 6 (the oldest) because at that point, they start to become aware of more and they start asking more and more questions and I believe they start wanting privacy.... my daughters (had two girls) were bathed together, and my 6 year old was put in the bath with her 3 year old sister, and she asked me once if she could start taking a bath on her own because she wanted privacy, I knew it was time.... I would say that they start to understand things at a little older age, so I would say no longer after 5 or 6 years of age....because they do feel like they need to bathe by themselves at a certain point. I know it's hard to be at home alone and have to give two kids a bath, and what do you do with the 1 year old if you bathe the 4 year old? It's hard, and it's probably easier to bathe them together so you have them both together and being watched...but by the time you stop giving them a bath together, your one year old will be old enough to be alone for a few minutes while you put your 5 or 6 year old in the bath...But a one year old should not be alone for now, and you are ok still putting them together! BUT I do know at some point your son will ask if he can have some privacy, even at the age 6 they know about it....my daughter did.. so maybe go by what they feel, you will know when they are ready to stop being together! Just like some states have a law that you cannot allow a boy and a girl to share a room after a certain age - there might be a law about that with kids being in a bath, but at those two ages, I doubt that anyone would say anything to you.... you are doing what you think is best for them both to get clean and be watched so that nothing happens while you try to take care of one of them...keep up the good work, at least you are trying to watch them both and be a good mom by not leaving one alone while tending to the other!

Alicia - posted on 05/04/2011

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i have two boys (3 yrs and 3months) and a girl (15 months). i dont bathe my oldest together because they fight, and i dont athe my two youngest together because my daughter is still acting out against the baby. so i bathe all three of them separately. however, i remember bathing with my boy cousin whos a year younger than me until we were 3 or 4. i would say five is the limit though.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/03/2011

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I am so far behind on baths today I think I am going to have to take one with both my kids . . . at the same time. My it will be snug. lol {:+)

Megan - posted on 05/03/2011

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I would assume its fine unless they start really staring at the naughty parts or ask what is that?? But my kids dont they i bathe my 8 and 5 yr old boys together shower , I m right there incase I hear or know whats going on!

Dana - posted on 05/03/2011

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I don't think so. My kids are 2 and almost 5....boy and girl.... and I bathe them together. It's easier and my hubby is home full time. I say do it until your hubby comes home and he can help :O)

Tracie - posted on 05/02/2011

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I think once your boy is 5 and ready for school would be a good time to stop.

Kellilyn - posted on 05/02/2011

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they will let you know when they are uncomfortable. until then-you're good. and thank you for the sacrifices you and your family are making-for me and mine. god bless.

Jay - posted on 05/01/2011

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My daughter was probably about 7 or 8 when she didn't want to have a bath/shower with her brother then 4 or 5, you can't look at it as inappropriate, they get on really well, and apart from being easy for me they had fun playing, but as my daughter got older, she started making subtle remarks and then I made them shower separate, my son didn't understand but he got over it. I think you'll know when it's time, but for now if it's easy for you and your kids are happy, don't stress.

Esther - posted on 05/01/2011

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My children are 6 and 7 (boy and girl respectively) and have been bathing them together for ages, coz there is no one here to give me a hand, recently teaching them how to do the shower on their own and teaching them no girls/boys in the bathroom when there's a girl/boy in there, but because I'm no worries about it, they're relaxed about it, they know not to look if someone is getting changed, but I think generally people get a bit too worried because of our over sexualized world, but it's your family, you teach them the values they need to know :)

Cyndel - posted on 04/29/2011

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Wow didn't realize how long that was!
Ice cream cone to anyone who actually gets through it!

Cyndel - posted on 04/29/2011

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I think it is fine until five, even after in absolutely necessary, I think that you can easily do so until your husband gets home if you wish with no problems.
You could even feasibly do it until your boy becomes uncomfortable and wants to bath alone, which would probably be within a year anyway, so I would just wait until your husband gets home and make things as easy on yourself as you can.
In my opinion nudity is just nudity, it doesn't become sexual until put in a sexual situation. So unless you make a big deal about it in front of your kids they won't realize anything, of course your son will notice a difference in genitalia but that just brings up a good way to help him understand the difference between girls and boys it doesn't need to be a sex talk, right now the penis and vagina are just body parts like fingers and noses just ones that are not seen often there fore are more of a mystery, which isn't always a good idea, and you can reiterate that though there is nothing wrong or shameful about his penis or his sisters vulva/vagina that they are private area's that are not to be touched by anyone other then you/daddy/doctor (perhaps someone else as well you trust who will be changing diapers cleaning up accidents, etc) and establish the no touch rule, etc.
But if you are nonchallent about nudity then he will have a better view of the human body and hopefully won't grow up to see nudity as purely sexual, hopefully he will learn to see nudity only as sexual when it is put in a sexual situation. I'm trying to teach my son this.

Bonnie - posted on 04/28/2011

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My boys bath together but soon they will need to bath seperately because they will no longer be able to fit in the tub. The oldest is starting to like showers, and I look forward to his wanting to be more independant. I will still make sure the water temp is good, and then leave for him to take over. My boys are 7/8, and 5. Growing up, my siblings and I bathed together until we couldn't fit in the tub, or wanted our privacy. As for opposite gender siblings, I think it should be the same. As soon as they start understanding parts, and/or wanting their privacy.

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I bathed with my sister who is 4 1/2 years older than me up until she took showers on her own. Which was when she was about 7 or 8. I think that would be fine for a brother and sister as well; as long as there are no warning signs.

Laura - posted on 04/28/2011

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I remember having baths with my sister and we were 4 years apart. Eventually, she requested to have her own baths and I think that's the right time to stop. It shows you respect your children's privacy when they ask for it. I have a boy and a girl. They are 22 months old, and 8 months old, so lucky for me I don't have to worry about separating bath time for a while :)

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2011

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I have a 4 yr old girl and a 1 yr old boy and occasionally i bathe them together,mostly when i am in a hurry or exhausted from the day. However I don't see anything wrong with it while they are so small. I remember taking baths with my sisters...i don't think i did with my brother b/c we are 6 yrs apart in age.

Heather - posted on 04/28/2011

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I have a 5 yr old girl and 1 yr old boy and for bout 4 mths bath them together here and there and there is no problem. she plays while he plays as well. But I would also like to no the age it would shouldnt be done anymore

Victoria - posted on 04/27/2011

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I was bathed with my 1 year younger brother until we were old enough to remember, and it hasn't scarred us or anything like that. I wouldn't worry too much.

Jane - posted on 04/27/2011

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I did it till I was seven and my brother was four, but we wore bathing suits. Our water heater didn't always work well when I was growing up. I read age four is when you start with privacy issues, but it really depends on who you discuss things with your children.

Jenn - posted on 04/26/2011

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I have a four year old boy and a two year old girl and i bathe them together as well. I would say when teither child feels uncomfortable with it then i would stop. The only thing i would worry about as the got a little older is them wanting to explore and experiment if you know what i eman (we all know kids do that and many ave been caught doing so), so if that was an issue then i would also end it.

Daniela - posted on 04/26/2011

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I have a 4 yr old girl and a boy that will be 2 soon and I just recently stopped bathing them together. I made that decision because my daughter will be starting school and I want her to know now that boys and girls are different and must be treated different when it comes to that area.

Lisa - posted on 04/26/2011

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I think it's just the parents' instincts. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. If you are able to do it with no hesitation, then it may be right for you. I have only bathed my 5 yr old and 2 yr old together a couple times, and they were way younger than they are now. For me, the reason it doesn't feel right is because my daughter has been discovering her body and girl parts for a long time now, and I just don't want her to explore my younger son's parts too. I'm afraid it would give my kids opportunity to learn more than they need to know about the opposite sex's bodies at this age.

Evelyn - posted on 04/26/2011

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i think is ok until they are 5 or went they start looking too there different part of there body..

Claire - posted on 04/26/2011

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i bath both my boys together as our eldest has slight cp and the youngest has severe developmental delay. I find it easier to do it this way and my hubby gets one of them after i've bathed them to do the other as the youngest doesn't like having baths too much

Wendy - posted on 04/26/2011

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From everthing I have read..it says to let your children bath alone at 4.5-5 yrs old ( with the door open and supervision). I think it is to give the child some privacy and to also let the child feel some independence. I personally have 2 girls (5 and 3) I do bathe them together when I am hurried. My five yr old bathes by herself most of the time. I would not bathe them together if they were of the opposite sex after age 3.5 - 4. And believe me it will trigger many questions by the time the child is 5 lol So be prepared! I also think that while giving seperate baths it gives some great bonding time to just ask about the day, their favorite part of the day, and anything the child wants to talk about. Some one-on-one time to make them feel special. I always leave to door open so I can check on the other child. Overall, I think your oldest child will def let you know when he is uncomfortable with taking baths with his little sister. Best wishes to you and your family! AND Thank you and your family for your sacrifice for our country! God Bless and Keep your husband safe.

Stephanie - posted on 04/26/2011

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I think once they start school it becomes awkward because despite what some believe children learn loads of things we don't want them to know there... Until then there is an innocence and they don't think anything about it. But once they hear things at school they start to connect things, most of the time incorrectly, but it would be simpler to just start bathing them separate then. Don't make an issue out of it and it won't be one. Make explanations simple and basic. Explain that girls and boys are different and that as they get older that they have certain things that should be done privately like bathing.

Shannintipton - posted on 04/26/2011

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Hi Arlene,

I had to stop both of mine because there was more water outside the tub then inside. They stopped around 4 (girl) and 7 (boy). But they never noticed anything different really. {:+)

shannin tipton

Jessica - posted on 04/26/2011

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i was bathed with my elder brother when i was younger and i stopped at about...3-4 because i felt strange xxx

Bonnie - posted on 04/26/2011

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I bathe my boys together. They will be 3 and 5 this year. When they are kids of the same gender, I think it is okay, but I doubt I will be able to do it much longer. They are running out of room to stretch out in the tub lol.

It's hard to say what I think would be appropriate for a boy and a girl, but i'm going to say that by the time one of the children is 4 or 5, it's properly enough.

[deleted account]

I have almost 4 year old boy/girl twins and a 2 year old boy. I bath all 3 together and really at this age all they know is that you look like that if you are a boy and you look like that if you are a girl. There's no sexualization in a negative way at all. There is only the beauty of innocence. I don't want to start making them conscious of privacy except for others outside our immediate family until I see a need for it. I love the innocence and I want to preserve that for as long as I can. I think it might be different timing for everyone based on each child's exposure to a need for privacy. You'll know I think when it matters to bath separately : )

[deleted account]

My 4 year old will bath with anyone whether its me, dad, or his three brothers. I wont stop him until he wants to stop which with my oldest boys was about 6 or 7.

Genia - posted on 04/26/2011

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oh forgot to add my experience. My 9yo (boy), 6yo (boy) and almost 2 yo (girl) all bathe together on occasion. I see no problem with it. Except the fact that all three barely fit, lol. I remember bathing with my brother when I was little, and he was 3.5 years older than me.

Genia - posted on 04/26/2011

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it becomes inappropriate when one of them wants privacy. Or starts going through puberty, lol. Whatever comes first. =)

Candi - posted on 04/25/2011

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My older two are 16 months apart. They bathed together until my son was about 4 (daughter was 3). He just wanted his own time in the tub and didn't want to be in there with his sister. Now my daughter is almost 11 and my youngest is almost 6 and every once in a while, they will bathe together (both girls of course).

Medic - posted on 04/25/2011

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I bathe my 4.5 year old boy and 15 month girl together almost everytime the baby needs a bath. She is in and out in a few min anyways. To me I don't think there is a problem until one of them acts like it or shows signs of it. Just like I think my son will stop comming into my room when I am showering or changing when it bothers him. For now both kids walk around half naked so whats a bath????

Dionne - posted on 04/25/2011

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I am trying to remember how I did this with my oldest two kids. I would say when the boy since he is oldest does not want to bath with the sister then I would seperate them. One thing to watch for is when he starts noticing body part differences either on you or the sister. A lot of it would depend on his maturity level, use your mom instincts, if he is not really noticing differences of the sexes then bath themtogether since it is easier for you. For my younger two kids, they are 9 and 10 now, they stopped wanting to bath together around six I think. So he will kind of bring it up to you when he gets tired of sharing his bath time with the sister. When this happens then do your daughter with your bath if you still need to combine the bath time. Kids let ya know when enough is enough. Otherwise, repeating what I said earlier, when the body starts changing into figures and they two of them notice those changes.

Rachel - posted on 04/25/2011

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I also have a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl and i still occasionally bathe them together but not very often. I think i would not bathe the boy with the girl after about age 5 but that is just me.

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