Being a mother is hard ..

Managa - posted on 07/30/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

12

0

2

I have a daughter and a son , daughter 2 years and son almost 7 months.

I love my kids very much but I just feel such a bad mother. I want my house to be clean and take care of the kids and be a happy wife, but I cant do those things at once.
I dont have the energy. And I think Im depressed at the moment thats why I joined this community, I wanted to share with someone who wouldn't judge.

How do you moms have the energy to do everything?? To be happy and do all these things that a mother does?? Im 24 and I look at all mothers who have kids. They seem so healthy and happy and organized while I look like a zombie :((

Do you have any advice for me??♡

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Snow - posted on 08/02/2016

67

0

2

Being a mother is definitely difficult; being on-call 24 hours a day with less than sufficient sleep is never easy, but it is important to recognise when the situation becomes more than that; when it becomes a matter of depression. After having my daughter I struggled with depression and what I've found to be helpful for combatting depression are,

1) make sure I find time for myself (even if it's only 20-30 minutes while she naps),
2) get out and get some exercise (I'd go for a nice 20-30 min walk 2 times a day - around the neighbourhood, over to the park, maybe to the store),
3) have realistic expectations for cleaning (I have a few chores that I do everyday at specific times - I found that it's easier if they are a part of my routine - ex. Clean up toys before nap, sweep during morning snack, every time I dirty a dish I wash it immediately to prevent having dishes pile up/having to spend any real amount of time washing dishes at one time. Other than daily chores, I choose one task each day that I feel needs to be done most and do my best to accomplish it)
4) make sure I am eating properly (between trying to take care of another person and keep my house clean, I often found I was neglecting to eat properly. After realising this, I made it a priority to eat 3 healthy meals a day, with healthy snacks between. I was amazed at how much this increased my energy)
5) having someone I can talk to about how I am feeling (I went to a therapist who was great; they listened to me and asked the right questions to help me realise how I can help myself)

However, if you feel that the issue is depression and you are having difficulty overcoming it on your own, I strongly recommend making an appointment with your doctor. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of; it happens to most of us at one time or another, but it is important to recognise it when it is occuring and seek out help when it is more than we can handle on our own.

I'm not sure if this will be helpful to you; it is just what has worked for me.
Best wishes!

Victoria - posted on 08/03/2016

3

0

0

Being a mother is difficult. I am still not used to it even though my kids are now 8 and 12. I will never be perfect at it. You are still a baby just as I was when I gave birth so it's going to be hard.
When my children were around the ages of yours, I also felt like a zombie. My son's father was there for our first child. But by the time I gave birth to our second child, he left me. I was alone to take care of both the kids. It was very depressing since I had to do everything by myself.
The thing is there's a rainbow at the end of the storm. Eventually, I got in shape and is now teaching dance. As long as you set goals, you will be fine. Just take it one step at a time. Enjoy them while they are young. :)

Nadine - posted on 08/02/2016

152

17

3

You can't do it all. No one can. Cut yourself some slack. If the kids are happy and fed, then you did a good job, even if the floor crunches ;) The news is, those moms you think who have it all together probably feel just like you.

Make a list of the things that have to get done, things that need doing at some point, and things you want to do. Once everything is done that has to be done, do something from your want to do list, then something from your stuff that needs done at some point. Make time for you, and the things you want to do. Happy mommy makes happy baby. Reward yourself. As the kids get older it will get easier, but in the mean time, let the dishes pile up, and go to the park. They are young for such a small amount of time. Enjoy your time with them.

Katherine - posted on 08/01/2016

71

0

19

Hi, yes being a mom is hard and tiring most of the times but it is also very rewarding. Me and my house was a total mess about an yr ago. It still is on some days of the week. I would see other parents handling children calmly in parks and I was just so worked up all the time. And that's when I realised that being a mother isn't a race... About who has the cleanest house or who is most organised.... It's my journey with my kids. So I planned.... N planned and made lots of list. I still do. I got it right on some days. But my child was happy. Like sherly sandberg says... Getting a job done is more imp than perfect. Children grow up in a flash... Till they start sleeping throughout the night it is hard but trust me it gets easier. And you have two so eventually they r gonna spend some time playing with each other. Just do what's right for them and also take some me time whenever they nap. I used to do almost all my work when my baby was awake... So i would have absolute me time...just about 40 mins or sometimes less whenever they nap. Look after yourself. get your partner more involved if possible. Motherhood is a wonderful journey. take care

11 Comments

View replies by

Tammy - posted on 08/03/2016

6

0

0

It IS tough. You just have to figure out what works for you. I have a routine with my 2 year old twins. We do the same thing most days. During breakfast while they're occupied eating I empty the dishwasher or switch over laundry. Then we "clean" up their toys and do yoga. They get excited because they think they're being big kids by putting away some of the toys which motivates them to want to do more. I do yoga poses and they copy me, but it usually ends up with us giggling and them rolling around on the floor. Then it's pretzel or fruit time! If you put the word "time" behind it....it makes it an exciting event. Basically they get to have a few pretzels in the living room while I switch over laundry again or sweep. Then we read and color when I finish what I'm doing. Then it's puzzle time! They put together puzzles and I make lunch. See the trend? I'm not saying that our days rock and nobody has a tantrum or is naughty, but making up these special events throughout the day have allowed me to keep my sanity. They have things to look forward to and it allows me a little break while they're occupied. It honestly doesn't matter what it is. Dance time is a great one too. That one makes me smile. Our dance floor is in the kitchen and we dance when I'm cooking or whatever. You could do "sing to the baby time". Then you've got your toddler helping you by making the baby laugh. Just some suggestions to make it a little better.

Managa - posted on 08/03/2016

12

0

2

Thank you ♡♡ you are right I should just enjoy my time with them. I might regret it one day if I dont pick myself up

Managa - posted on 08/03/2016

12

0

2

Thank you so much. This motivated me alot.
I. To be honest I never go out. Im always in my house 24/7 and I think thats what makes me so depressed, my husband works so he cant help me to take the kids outside. My 2 year old daughter is very difficult and I am afraid to go outside with both kids, i tried once and alnost got an accident.

I would love to go outside and take a walk or do some sport. I was considering to see a therapist as well, but then I thought who will watch the kids.

I dont have a license cause In afraid to learn how to drive.
Kinda a messed up person. Just waiting for the kids to grow older.

Managa - posted on 08/02/2016

12

0

2

Thank you. I hope it will get easier. Im looking forward to the time that will be older. I feel like then I would do great as a mother :))

Elenabelle - posted on 08/01/2016

5

0

0

No, become a Mom is a blessing so, keep in mind. It can be hard but when a kid loves you and someone enter in your life. You will feel a lot of happiness even you can't imagine.

Managa - posted on 08/01/2016

12

0

2

No he wakes up 2 times. Im breastfeeding so its easier cause I dont have to get up but still.
My Husband doesnt mind the mess and helps wheh he can buy Im always stressed that someone might come over and see the mess. Ive been raised to always clean and now when I cant clean I get depressed and a failure .

Yeah it is nice to know that other moms struggle too. I always tell the whole story to everyone that asks. Especially to people who want to be A mom. Cause it aint always picture perfect ..

Daphne - posted on 07/30/2016

1

0

0

Thank you so much for posting this! It must be so hard for you with a toddler and a baby?! Is the 7 month old sleeping through the night yet? I have no answer to your question because I feel the same way, but I'm so glad to hear that other moms struggle too!! I am a neat freak but I have a very supportive husband who just tells me to leave the house a mess so I won't be as stressed. lol IDK, maybe that will help you? :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms