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being post natal and hating your partner (vent)

Bonnie - posted on 10/08/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I know im post natal.. my sons almost 1 and this entire yr has been horrible! I cant find the good or joy in anything to do with parenting :( and i hate my partner for it!

Mostly because life is peachy for him and i do all the hard yards.. no sleep is biggest factor! i feel like packing my bags and leaving my partner & kids - anyone else get days like this? where they just had enough??

Ive been to the doctor and started medication but my anger and resentment to my partner is the same.. when he does decide to offer me help like change a dirty nappy i feel like its slap in face that its all too little too late. I really feel at a loss.. with everything!

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Toni - posted on 10/08/2009

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Hi Bonnie. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I too had a similar experience. My son will be 1 year in December. I thought I escaped postpartum completely until 4 months after delivery. When it hit, it hit hard and I really did not know what was going on right away even though I had heard a lot about it before becoming pregnant. I was miserable, in a lot of pain still, not recovering well, and getting little sleep. Found joy in nothing and thinking at 38 I was not cut out for motherhood but it was too bad, I was now a Mom. I really resented my husband b/c his life had hardly changed. I have always worked and staying at home and being a new Mom was overwhelming to me. I have no family close and not many friends here to rely on. All my friends at different places in life and there on stuff going on. I too thought about leaving everyone but I knew my husband was the love of my life. So for me the answer was to stick it out until I felt my hormones were balanced again. Then I could make a rational decision, not an emotional one. It was not until about a month ago, my son at 9 months old that my hormones finally got back to normal. Even though I still have days where I get upset about what feels like an endless to do list, no sick days or vacation and no paycheck I no longer feel like leaving. My husband and I are friends again. Everything is not perfect of course and I still feel I have too much responsibility at home, I am happy with my life again. He is helping more and more and I just let him do it. I had to let go of the resentment that built up over all those months. It's not easy to do. I kept reminding myself why we were together, what I love about him and eventually the emotional connection followed. Having more sleep made a huge difference in my recovery. My son finally sleep trained at 9 months so we have just begun to get more sleep. I so understand. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk. I hope things get better for you.

Laura - posted on 10/08/2009

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i'm sorry Bonne.. dont fell like a horrible person or mother.. everyone has their times.. whatever ur circumstances are.. try to remember that you care so much that you want to be a good mother and wife.. maybe try to open up more lines of communication with your partner and also other support like family friends, church if that's where you are.. its an adjustment going from single to motherhood and/or marriage.. dont beat urself up.. try to the joy in silly things ur child does or says, thats what gets me through a lot lol.. my husband travels a lot too for work.. so i understand your heart ache.. and sleep will do you a world of good as well i def need my sleep to be sane lol.. is your baby haveing a hard time with that?

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