Being told to get a job

Laura - posted on 08/11/2010

I didn't get nagged (too much) when my kids were at home.Now that they are both in school I get that "look" when people find out I'm still a sahm. I tell them, I'm busier now then when the kids were at home! And I've thought about being a para for our school district when my youngest (who will be in 5th grade) get to the jr high (7th grade). That way when the kids are home, Im home too. As my hubby said its when kids are in jr high and high school when they need the most supervision,lol!
I worked until my oldest was 6 months old. It was horrible, I cried everyday on the way to work (and it wasn't that I didn't trust who was watching my son, it was my aunt, who is an amazing person and took great care of him) it was that I KNEW that I should be the one taking care of him! My hubby and I agreed that I should stay home. I told people the truth that I knew where I should be, and that was what I was doing. I would also say that I don't knock working (outside the home moms) for their choices...that is where they feel their path is. Sometimes (NOT all the time) I would find that someone I knew was making those comments not because they were concerned with me, but were unhappy in their own choice.

Stifler's - posted on 08/11/2010

YES. People seem to think that women should all be "working to support their kid". That's what we have husbands for. We do EVERYTHING else.

April - posted on 08/10/2010

all the time, i love staying home with my son but it is a demanding job to hear "mom" all day . ignore them and enjoy your time with your lil one , they dont stay small for long.

Kelina - posted on 08/10/2010

My mom used to. But my husbadn likes being the one to support me and our son and soon our daughter as well, and we make it just fine. My mom was the kind of person who seemed to have a brick wall just before her ears that stopped her hearing anything meaningful you said. Oddly that brick wall disappeared when you sadi something that could be twisted or taken the wrong way. Funny how that happens huh? But yes, being a mom is a full time job and my husbadn completely understands that so i figure as long as he knows that, we're going to be just fine!

Yaima - posted on 08/10/2010

Just because you are not bringing a pay check home it doesn't mean you are not working. If that came from my husband, I would say to him, "you wanted children right?"

But i know he is not like that.

People don't understand how expensive it is to pay for daycare. But if you do happen to be able to make enough money, what about staying home with this little thing that needs so much attention and love from you.

Just remember, people don't run your life. Now if the father of your baby is the one who thinks like this. Then leave him with your baby for an entire day. And you will see how things change.

I love my kids, i adore them. I have been a stay home mom for like, 7 years now. I have had jobs, but on and off do to my situation. But sometimes I think, i rather be working and going shopping at the malls. So yes, i would not have a pleasant answer either if someone told me that.

Hope this helps, and good luck sweety.

Kimberly - posted on 08/10/2010

My ex husband did it to me all the time. He would tell me that nothing I did mattered unless I brought home a paycheck. I stayed home with my kids anyhow and we got divorced when our son was 3. Being a SAHM is hard work. I see no point in working outside the home to make a check that will only cover the cost of daycare.

Julie - posted on 08/10/2010

I don't really anymore. I used to once in a while get asked when I was going to start working. Most people assumed that I would as soon as my youngest was in school. But they don't anymore, everyone now KNOWS not to get on me about it. I am only a year away from that and have no plans to go to work anywhere in the near future. My husband almost has a heart attack if I even mention it lol!

Corinne - posted on 08/10/2010

Argh! I hate this! What we do IS work, it's a damned hard job with no training, no pay, very little praise, and zero recognition. I also believe that if you have children, you should be there to raise them. Not just Mums, Daddies can do it too. It doesn't matter which one of you does the bulk of it, but a child should be cared for and brought up by it's parents, not nursery staff or childminders. It is what you sign up for when you get pregnant! I do appreciate that some people don't have a choice, for various reasons, but those who could be at home and choose not to be, are irresponsible and selfish. Mini-rant over!

Stephanie - posted on 08/10/2010

Choosing to stay at home with your children is choosing to work without any physical money, but what you gain in relationships with your children is worth it. Besides, I have heard that if one figures up what a mother actually makes after paying for childcare, another car, gas, food, etc...she will end up with a miniscule amount of money that could go toward bills. I once figured up for myself that if I went back to work and made what is considered average around our area without a college degree, after I paid for everything I mentioned above, I would only actually make about 50 dollars a week. The amount was made even lower because I would lose my food stamps, and that money would have to be replaced with my new income. So to come ahead, I would have to find a job that paid a very good salary and those require a college degree and sometimes a lot more hours away from home. I believe that you do have to sacrifice to be able to stay at home with your children, but that you are making the best decision for your young children. They need YOU when they are really young. So when someone keeps saying or insinuating that you need to get a job (cause you are being lazy--that makes me so mad), you can tell them that you are doing what is best for your child. And that you don't want someone else raising your child. Studies have proven that children who stay home with their parents as opposed to staying at a daycare, do way better emotionally and academically. I would say that they do better way better relationally as well.

Katie - posted on 08/10/2010

My step-mom used to nag me all the time to get a job. She believed that my husband could not possibly make enough to support a family of six. She has finally stopped nagging me. Once people realize that you don't have to work then they will stop too. Usually it isn't worth you working too because it takes up most of your earnings for day care. I have done that before.

Gloria - posted on 08/10/2010

The way my fiance and I see it "We would not have had a child if we wanted some one else to care for it or me as a Mom do half of MY JOB (raise my son).
Which is why we discussed myself finding work (but, work from home) and I have.
I understand that it's very hard these days making ends meet and I dont expect my fiance to take the burden alone to bring in the $, just as he does not expect me to do the parenting alone. Everything is 50/50 between us. He helps me with all house chores when he can, he takes on half of parenting with our child and I take on helping financially.
I found a work at home job where i can still do all that I normally would. "Surf the web, your bound to find some type of legit work from home job".

Gemma - posted on 08/10/2010

Thankfully no, cause i wouldnt have anything very pleasant to say in return, im fortunate enough to be able to teach my children all the things i think are essential, my two children have my undivided attention all day (when im not busy trying to make the look like a bomb hasnt just gone off!! ;o) my three year old can count to ten in three languages and can write her own name which i dont think would happen if i was at work keep doing what your doing if it makes u happy and ignore anyone who says you should be at work, my response would prob be something along of the lines of, "i work all day everyday and get paid in kisses and cuddles can ur work beat that? didnt think so!"