Bored and lonely during the day.

Elise - posted on 03/08/2011 ( 109 moms have responded )

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I am a SAHM of a 2 1/2 yo girl and a 4 month old boy, and my husband usually works long hours at work (up to 12-13 hours a day). Both my sisters now live out of town, my parents are currently in Europe and most of my friends work. I take my kids to playgroup once a week and we try to get out to the park when the weather's nice. What I'm getting at is what else can I do to keep myself occupied? There is only so much washing, cooking and cleaning to do. I'm sure I will have much more to do when my kids get older and have school, sports, etc, but at the moment I'm just SO bored and lonely!

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Heather - posted on 03/11/2011

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I got a family membership at the YMCA and my daughter and I go swimming there. They also have daycare so she goes there while I work out and blow off some steam. I am also a SAHM and I work from home but I'm also a single mom. My daughter also has play dates often and we do crafts at home on occasion. I surely know what you mean about getting bored and lonely but see if they have a Y near you. They do have financial aid available if it's not within your budget. Good luck!

Victoria - posted on 03/10/2011

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Where are you from - I would love to hang around with you! I have a 1.5 year old and a 2 month old, both boys. Message me!

Jade - posted on 03/09/2011

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honestly, read. i became a stay at home mom/ navy wife at 17, and i was going stir crazy. reading keeps your mind busy.

Colleen - posted on 03/08/2011

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Too bad we probably don't live close to each other. You sound just like me. Are you able to go on walks? That works a bit for me most days.

Jessica - posted on 03/21/2011

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I feel the same way everyday. Only the playgroups around here want money and i just dont have that. I have a 3 year old girl and a 4 month old boy fiance works all day and I have no car to even to go a park. There are non in walking distance annnd the apartments we live in are soooo horrible.. and we cant get out~! i know what your going through and still have found no answer, I just try to spend alll of my time with the kids doing something.

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Angel - posted on 11/04/2012

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Get online talk to other moms on here while children are napping keep yourself from being isolated and give yourself something to do that makes you feel like you are saving the family money http://www.cash4offers.com/?ref=622144 I like to shop and on this site you save a few dollars on purchases for items you might have already been buying or if you are like me I just want to know what is the latest item out ! Watch the clock and get your other jobs done buy I enjoy doing this and it keeps me preoccupied so I don't have too much time to be bored

Susan - posted on 04/11/2011

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I feel the exact same way excepts a lil worse beuz with being as young as i was when i had my son (he is now 14 months and im gonna be 22 tommorrow) all my friends kinda deserted me when i got pregnant becuz i couldnt party like them. I live in a small town and i do get out once a week to go see my mom but i dont drive so im limited to what is in walking distance when my husband is at work and being 28 weeks pregnant with number 2 that isnt that far lol. I feel your pain it gets so lonely and i get so bored stuck in the house all the time. i swear i clean the house top to bottom (walls, windows, wash rugs, wash outside of cabinets and such) at least twice a week just to keep myself occupied.

Christina - posted on 03/29/2011

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I am a SAHM of three children; Two boys who are seven and three and a girl who is five. I know how you feel b/c their have been times that I would want to cry b/c my big house felt like a little box and no matter how hard I would try I couldnt find one single thing to do. My advice would be to not forget why your a SAHM.. all that quality time and watching your kids grow and really enjoying them. Now my life is baseball, boyscouts, dance, pageants, school, and I cant find a moment to breath. I wish I could go back to being at home and bored with nothing else to do but clean and watch my kids grow, and laugh, and play. It will all pass to quickly... Good luck :)

April - posted on 03/27/2011

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I belong to MOMS Club International - an international organization that was created to provide support to SAHMs and their kids. It has saved my sanity and given me and my son lifelong friends. You can go to www.momsclubinternational.org for more information and to find a chapter in your city. Good luck and remember you are not alone!

Debbi - posted on 03/24/2011

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Elise,
Why don't you check to see if your area has a local MOMS Club chapte? If you've never heard of it, it is a club for SAHM's like yourself who are looking to connect with other SAHM's, and they offer low and no cost activities. I joined when my son was a toddler, and it was a godsend. I got to meet lots of local mom's, my son got to socialize more, and I was not sitting in the house going stir crazy all the time. My son is now in kindergarten, and we are still members, even though it is becoming more and more difficult to attend the functions. It is the bond that we have formed with some of the other members that makes me keep my membership. Check out their website:
http://www.momsclub.org

Desirae - posted on 03/23/2011

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Colleen I hate when there is other stay at home moms but they live no were next to you.

Desirae - posted on 03/23/2011

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Elise I'm having the same problem mines is so bad I'm starting to talk to myself. I talked with a social worker and she recommended I find other stay at home moms to be friends with. I feel this is true because all my other friends are too busy working.

Cym - posted on 03/22/2011

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I feel like that too, since I live in the city and we don't have a yard or something, and the places to go to are so far that I need to drive (sadly, I don't know how), so I really feel cooped up in our home. The only thing keeping me sane is the Internet. I really wish we could live somewhere with a yard or garden, and with some fresh air. The air here is polluted and I think that that's the reason why my kids get sick. :-(

Amber Lynn - posted on 03/22/2011

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I blog! It's a nice way to get some stuff out. I read lots of other blogs as well. I make hair clips for my daughter. I try to read when I have a free moment. Just little things until summertime and I can get the kiddos out more!

[deleted account]

i scrap book and play with my kids and trust me i know what you mean about lonely my hubby works out of town for a couple months at a time im lucky to see him more than a month at a time

April - posted on 03/21/2011

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I understand completly how you feel! Im a Stay -at- Home as well, an there is only so much a mom can do at home, then theres nothing left to do for yourself. An we both know we do not want to be doing housework all the time!!!
What I do is, I do Scrapbooks an edit photos on my computer. I just found a hobby that suits me, an you could try one that suits you the best an I promise you will not be a bored Mom anymore!! Hope I was able to help!!! It will get Better: Sincerely: *April

Randi - posted on 03/21/2011

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so tru today was doctor runs for me my daughter and my son around school schedule and my other responsibilities its so inane

Doris - posted on 03/21/2011

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I am a daycare provider for any years and it is not wrong to have someone come in and help. I do think it would be good for you to get a helper who can also be a friend to you so you don't feel lonely. Even though you are paying her maybe you and your helper could also do a hobby together like scrap booking or just having fun. I have worked for many families for any differnt reasons. The reason you may feel so tired is from being bored and lonely. It is easy to getdepressed.If I lived closer I would love to be your helper....Keep in touch Much blessing's and prayers.

Jordan - posted on 03/21/2011

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i just moved to a new state and i have no friends yet and no car so i know exactly what you mean, i cant even join a playgroup. the best thing i did to get my sanity back was buy a bike trailer. i strap my 2 year old and 11 month old into it and we go for a nice bike ride. i get a nice workout and the boys have fun cuz i can talk to them and we look for animals and practice numbers and animal sounds and colors and everything while we a going. and we started going when my youngest was 5 months old. as long as your son is holding his head up and your daughter is good with him you should be able to do it. just strao em in with a couple of toys and youre good to go :)

Erica - posted on 03/21/2011

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Well.. First off you have circle of moms so that u can make friends with other sahm like yourself. then I suggest focusing on a kid friendly hobby.. You can start taking pictures of your kids and saving the phoos.. Learns new skill.. Journal about your life.. Set small home projects for yourself.. Ask your hubby if there is anything he's been meaning to get done around the house and help him with it.. There's a million things you could do.. You just have to be open and willing to try something new

Holly - posted on 03/21/2011

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hey girl - I feel for you as am in a similar position living in the UK with my family in America and most of my friends here working during the day. I have two boys aged 2 years 2 months and 7 weeks. The way I'm finding to survive is to have something planned to do every day. Some days I don't do what I'd had planned because I had a long night or one of the kids is ill or something but every day I have a playgroup to go to or another mom to visit me or me to visit them, going to the park is good, or going to the grocery store. I just feel like as long as I know there's something planned I don't get so bored, and gives me something to look forward to!

Chelsi - posted on 03/21/2011

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I feel ur pain...hubby works out of state!!! not much else to suggest just wanted u to know ur not alone! :(

Sarah - posted on 03/21/2011

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I quilt, sew, crochet and cross stitch. It helps give me something to do and I have a blanket/ hat/ scarf/ cross stitch/ picture etc. to show for my free time. You could paint, write, scrapook. Make some memories to pass on to your little ones, because soon you will be spending all your time chasing them and have none for yourself. = )
Good luck

Shelly - posted on 03/21/2011

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Hi Elise,
I'm single mum and also a sahm, so know where you're coming from. I didn't have a support network after my parents died, and was finding it difficult coping with a then 2 yr old. when her tanturms came too much, along with the greiving process, I turned to Sure Start. I was given a Home Visitor. It was through her, that I was put forward for some courses, within Sure Start, and my daughter was able to attendf a free creche during the time the courses ran. It broadend my social cirlce, and I made some really good freinds, and it give me some "adult" time to just be me. My daughter loved the creche, and when she came to start nursery, and my courses clashed with her hours, they worked around it, to accomdodate, so that neither of us, missed out. Talk to your Home Vistior, or ask in your local Sure Start centre, for more details.
I can't recommend Sure Start highly enough. Through them, I gained more self confidenece, and my daughter has come on in leaps and bounds. Sometimes, i think we forget that we're more than just a mummy.

Andrea - posted on 03/21/2011

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Try looking up your local library. They normally have little activities for kids like story time. They have them broken down into age groups so you can pick the one most appropriate for the older one. The best thing is it doesn't cost a thing. Afterward, we'll go and pick out some new books. Also, we became members of our zoo. I do a single parent pass (since my husband can rarely come and it saves on cost.) We go about once a week in the summer, and early before it gets too hot, and walk around and see the animals for a couple hours. We will also ride the train and the carousel and they love it. You're being active and not just sitting around and going stir crazy. We also do playgroups and we moms sit around and drink wine and laugh while the kids play. I love Fridays in the summer time. I was in the same boat 2 years ago myself and it's a tough phase. Just remember it doesn't last forever and it won't always be this boring. My house was spic and span as well. Unfortuately, your husband probably can't relate because he's off working and getting stressed making sure to make money to support the family. I always felt like a shmoe if I complained to him. Keep your chin up and remember it's just a phase and it will pass.

Tammie - posted on 03/21/2011

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I am a SAHM of 3 boys; 5 yr old, 16 mths, and 2 mths. My DH wks graveyards, so he is asleep some during the daytime. I have no close family. I have no off-line friends. I teach my five-year-old K @ home. I'm also currently an on-line student at UOP, earning my AAEE degree. I enjoy scrapbooking, writing, or reading when I can. There is only so much time for yourself during the day, with little ones. Sounds like u r pretty active. So I wish you luck w/ w/e u decide 2 do w/ your time.

Alicia - posted on 03/21/2011

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Look for a MOMS Club in your area! There are several different ones around the country. I belong to MOMS (MOMS offfering moms support) and it's been a life saver for me. There are activites 3 -4 days a week and it gives you the opportuntity to meet other SAHMs in your area!

Stefanie - posted on 03/21/2011

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try tolook around in your neighboorhood if there ismoms with kids too. lots of people are very private, but youmight get lucky!

Jessica - posted on 03/21/2011

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I live in Las Vegas and have the identical issue! I am nit sure where you are from; but would love to get together for a play date! Paisley just turned one on March 3rd. It has been very lonely and hard to meet friends! ~ Jess

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2011

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So totally understand where you are coming from! I have tried a lot of different things and none seem to last. Too bad we are not closer we could hang! I am bored A LOT!! I actually just started a little jewelry business which SOMETIMES helps but as of now I have sold one piece and have to wait to sell more to get more material! (UGH) maybe something you REALLY like doing try to do it more often. I even have a few blogs where I put info up that helps me (like a couponing blog where I can see how much money I save each month. ANYTHING helps a little. I am SOOO lonely too I have tried it all to no avail at least this stuff keeps my mind occupied.

Marsha - posted on 03/21/2011

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I have loved going through this thread and seeing all these wonderful responses. I think it so great that we all understand each other and can share such great advice and relate to on another so well. This is great moms! :) I hope it has been as helpful to others as it has been for me!

Kathy Joy - posted on 03/21/2011

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I think the best thing about this thread is that we all understand eachother. My oldest is 7 and my youngest is almost 2 and I still have a hard time finding other moms to hang out with. Don't worry, your 4 month old baby will have you running circles in no time with so much to do. I understand how you feel though. Some days it feels like we do nothing at all and but the time goes by so fast from one day to the next over and over again. I think one thing I have done lately is read. Some days it is easier than others because the kids DEMAND attention. I wish I could think of things to keep the kids busy and happy. I use music and turn OFF the tv. It gets us moving and makes us laugh. Hope some of this makes you feel better.

Jackie - posted on 03/21/2011

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Try checking your local library for children's programs. Most have storytime activities which involve some sing-a-longs and group games along with a couple books. Even without the storytime, I find the library a great way to spend an hour or so and you may meet other moms there as well that you can create your own playdates with. Also, if there are any science or childrens museums in the area, check their membership levels. If they offer a reciprocal membership, it offers you access to lots of other museums that may be in neighboring towns. The cost may seem a little steep, but if you add it up, it pays for itself in just 3 or so visits and gives you yearlong options of places to go! When I use mine, I don't feel guilty about only spending an hour there if the kids meltdown because I can always come back!

Lisa - posted on 03/21/2011

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Elise, it sounds like you are going through what I call a "dry patch" ... there are times when it is pretty miserable to spend day after day with toddlers. The surprising thing is, we ALL feel that way sometimes!! Reach out to the moms in your play group ... see if they want to have coffee in the morning or come over for a play date in the afternoon ... also, your local library may have free programs for children that will get you out of the house. Being a stay at home mom is the most challenging job in the world and it is VITAL to not let yourself get into a rut (I suffer from depression and have three little ones and am preg so I know!). I go out every single day to keep myself sane. I meet girlfriends for breakfast, coffee and lunch, I take my girls to every free activity under the sun! And I still struggle from time to time. It sounds like your attitude is really good, you are ahead of me there : ) ... I realize now that, at least for me, being a good mom for these young ages (4.5, 3.5, 1.5) is artfully wasting away each day.

Jeri - posted on 03/20/2011

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Join a mommy & me play date group. Also, some preschools will let you volunteer and let your kids to class time. Good Luck!

Sonja - posted on 03/20/2011

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Have you checked out a MOPS group in your neighborhood churches. Some meet once a week and some meet once a month. They have playgroups for the kiddos so the Moms can talk. Those days seem long but remember the years are short. =)

Chris - posted on 03/20/2011

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Thank you Holly, however as much s I would love that opportunity, that isn't remotely possible for me. I went to school and got my CDA (child development associate degree) I was in my dream job as an assistant director of a child care facility when I found out I have a very rare Immune Deficiency Disease. I was then told that I had to quit work and stay at home due to the seriousness of this disease. I had a gene that mutated and stopped producing antibodies to keep me healthy and fight off infections. The common cold can last 7 to 14 weeks and I may end up with pneumonia and in the hospital from it. I have been a stay at home mom since 2004. This is why I reach out to social networks when I can as my husband tends to work long hours as well. Again, thank you so much for that sweet response!

Holly - posted on 03/20/2011

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Have you considered doing a co-op mommy school? Other kids around the same age (2, 3, whatever) can get together and do activities and stuff on a small-scale basis. It will allow you to engage with other moms in your situation....just a suggestion!

Chris - posted on 03/20/2011

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I am not only a stay at home mom but I am also disabled due to health reasons. I have 2 children, one is graduating this year and the other is a special needs child that will be in school for quite a while. I have found that being "house-bound" made me even more depressed that I already am so I found the joys of social networking sites like facebook. I have not only made contact with a lot of old classmates but through just a few games I have made even more friends that I could have imagined. I don't have an unlimited amount of time to spend on the computer, but, I have found some to socialize when I need it the most. I know they say that people tend to get addicted to these sites, but, they can be a huge benefit as well. I have also found the art of scrapbooking, and that takes up a good deal of time...besides, we all need to put those beautiful pictures somewhere to be showcased! I sincerely hope that you are able to find some answers that will be helpful to you! Good luck in your quest!

Tracy - posted on 03/20/2011

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Try your local library for a storytime. Try asking other moms at playgroup or the park if they'd like to meet for coffee, or walk together. Join a book club or create a standing date with friends for sometime when hubby's not working (Sunday morning brunch or Saturday evening scrapbooking/movie on somebody's couch). Maybe you have a group of friends who would like to participate in a regular pot-luck, rotating houses each time. Or if you can, join your local YMCA--usually membership includes childcare so you can participate in activities and not have to worry about keeping track of your kids. Find things to do and places to go that you enjoy, and don't be afraid to strike up conversations with others doing the same thing!

Amber - posted on 03/20/2011

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I started going to the local YMCA. They have free daycare for members and classes that I was able to take and meet other SAHMs. My husband is a farmer so I'm basically a single mom during spring and fall. After being a member at the Y for a year, I started teaching classes and now have a large group of friends and a little social time during the week and my kids are well taken care of and still in the same building as me! I'm also more fit than I was before having kids (little extra bonus there). :)

Cammi - posted on 03/20/2011

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Hey! Where do you live? Its a long shot but im in the same boat u are and it would be cool if we lived close to eachother. My husband is deploying in a couple weeks and im going to be so lonely. I have a almost 3 year old daughter and a 7 month old son so were the same with all of that. I am also a SAHM. Message me or just email me at cammi.speck@yahoo.com :)

Joanne - posted on 03/20/2011

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The Early Years Center is a great place to take your kids and meet other parents, and it's free which is nice. Indoor playgrounds are another good option. I know how you feel, but it does get better. My kids are 7 and 4 now and I hardly ever feel like I'm sitting so I don't have any time to get bored. Just try to get out whenever you can, meet up with other Mom etc. and it will make it easier. There is nothing worse than feeling lonely and there are others out there feeling the same way you are, it's just a matter of getting out and meeting people to keep you sane.

[deleted account]

What is something that YOU like? Have you ever thought about going back to school. taking an online course. That would take a lot of your empty time, A LOT!

Rachel - posted on 03/18/2011

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I play games or run through the house (when i wasnt huge preggo LOL) with my son, he is almost 3. Unless its nice out,then we go out and romp in the yard. Or watch shows with him. I love reading, or looking at magazines. I dont have alot of time to be bored.

Michele - posted on 03/17/2011

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The Y is excellent and they do offer special prices according to your income/expenses. All you do is take your bills etc in to show what you pay out and a pay stub to show income and they work something out..

Faith - posted on 03/17/2011

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meetup.com is great to find other stay at home mom's in your area!! Some have great meetups a few times a week!! It is the greatest thing EVER!!

[deleted account]

It's nice to know i'm not the only one. Moved to this State about two years ago. We left all of our family and friends in California. I get really lonely here too. I have discovered I like to organize just to fill the days. It's makes finding things alot easier. And great when I tell my husband "it's in the closet in the box labeled XYZ".

Brie - posted on 03/17/2011

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I am in the same boat..looking for a playgroup or something in the Brandon/Jackson Area so if any one knows of one or would like to start one let me know!!!! My son is six months.

Candyce - posted on 03/17/2011

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Same boat, so I started homeschooling my four year old (he's been begging!) and taking up some old hobbies again. The internet is a lifesaver, especially when you're trying to teach yourself something new. Try learning a new language!

Blessed Be

Mindee - posted on 03/17/2011

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I'm was in the same boat, and then I stumbled upon making things... like hair clips and tutus, and after a few legal steps I now have my own at-home business and have 2 shops on Etsy. Now when the kids are napping, or one won't go to sleep at night, or... well, whenever, I just sneak into my workshop and start being creative. I feel so much better now! Before I felt like I was no longer an individual, just a mom, but now I have hobbies and inspiration. It's been a real blessing! Plus, it's given me something more to talk about than just how many times we watched Word World and how many outfits the baby has gone through. lol
Hopefully, with the weather warming up, walks and playground time will add to your usual routine too!

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