Can my 6 week old really be spoiled?!

Mhairi - posted on 11/21/2010

With the car seat thing, he may have gas? are the straps on correctly? Maybe he doesn't like being confined, I think that is what is up with my youngest.

Mhairi - posted on 11/21/2010

Read this book: "Healthy sleeping habits, happy child." My newborn did the same thing and she still hates her car seat, so I take her out when I'm walking and use the snugli. She loves being held, both my kids are human superglue, but I love the fact that they can love me even if I'm having a bad day. Your baby can never be spoiled, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Listen to what feels right to you. So, if you need to pick your son up, then pick him up. I am the same way, my husband learned the first time. Babies need to know that you will be there when they are uncomfortable and need help. You're mummy! Men don't have the same connection we do to our children, a fun fact: even several years down the road your some of your babies antibodies will be in your blood. Murrin, my first, I swear to you never sheslept, she still doesn't. She would go down for 15-20 min in her crib, and sleep ONLY in my arms! and be up for ever, her first 3 1/2 months she co-slept in my arms propped in pillows beside me, with my second, I read that book and took what I liked and Sakura sleeps in her own crib since about two weeks old. Even if for wee hour naps. From having two, I have learned ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE!! hahaha!!, For the first couple of years until 4-5 year old, you have to do what is best for you and you wee fella. Always listen to your Mother Bear, and remember this is your turn to do the best you can, not everyone is going to like it ( I have mother in law stories up the wuzzo) and if you need help don't be afraid to ask and reach out (something I learned with the non-sleeper, OMGoodness).
Hope this helps.

Aniesha - posted on 11/20/2010

Give in & don't feel guilty about it! He's just a little baby, and deserves to be showered with your love. Think about it this way.....he's been inside you for 9 months, constantly close to your heartbeat, and now all of a sudden he's separated.......must be pretty traumatic I reckon. Maybe try things like play him music to comfort him in the car or at home. One time my son was screaming like crazy in the car seat & I put on Chris Brown "With You" and all was silent, LOL. He also liked to fall asleep in a rocker at my feet, and then I'd just leave him sleeping there in the same room while I did housework or whatever. I don't believe in letting a baby of that age cry, coz they're crying for a reason. Not until they get much older do they consciously throw tantrums, and by then, you can usually tell when they're not sincere!

Katherine - posted on 11/20/2010

Invest in a sling or a wrap, or some other kind of carrier! My son hated to be put down until he was about 6 months old, and it was the only way to get things done. Once he was able to sit up and hold toys, I had no trouble setting him down for a bit. I loved my Moby wrap at that age, and even use it now with my son, who is 27 months.

At this age, you cannot spoil a child. And honestly, I don't believe that you can spoil kids with love. Point out to your husband that in a year or two, you'll be barely able to give him a hug as he runs here, or there, and is busy all by himself. Trust me, I treasure those moments where it was just my son and I, and he was all snuggled up asleep in his wrap. Now, I'm borrrrring, and I only get baby snuggles right before he goes to bed. :P

Amanda - posted on 11/20/2010

There is no way a 6 week old child can be spoiled. He doesn't have the brain capacity. My guess is that he has gas, is hungry, is teething, is tired or needs his bum changed. Maybe the car seat isn't comfortable? Maybe the straps are too tight? There is recent research that shows that picking up a crying baby right away will actually REDUCE the number of times they cry. If you ignore a crying baby they will cry MORE. So go ahead and pick him up. Give him love. You cannot spoil a baby :)

Lindsay - posted on 11/19/2010

ok im assuming that all forst time moms are liek me...my baby girl started fussing in her carseat around this time so my husband just casualy mentions one day while driving do u think maybe her straps are to tight...wouldn't u know they were...we moved the straps and the buckle up to the next level and she was as comfy as she used to be in the carseat and we added a few toys and all the fussing stopped :)

Lindy - posted on 11/19/2010

I second the babywearing idea. Once you babywear, that gives you the freedom to get chores done or whatever you want to do with your hands, and baby feels loved and content. When my DD was a newbie, she would fall asleep in my woven wrap and have a good long nap in there.

Joy - posted on 11/19/2010

@ Sally ~ Right ON! LOL

I also agree with what the other ladies have said, especially the part Jenn Black said about having something in the car to distract him. Little soft, fluffy toys with bells or rattles in them can be a good distraction. My son had a little round cotton thing that had animals on one side and a "mirror" on the other side (A baby mirror...not made of glass....not a real mirror, if you know the kind I'm talking about?) Anyhow, he LOVED looking at himself when he was younger so I'd prop it up at his feet while I was driving and it would distract him. He'd sit back there and coo away at himself lol
I'm sorry the people in your life aren't being more supportive of you. Just because you're young and new at this, doesn't mean you don't have instincts. You do. Listen to them. No matter what age we all are now, how many kids we have or what age we started having them....we all have one thing in common and that is that at one point none of us knew what the hell we were doing! But if you listen to your gut and do what you think is right, you'll be just fine! Something else you'll learn as you go is to take unwanted and unwelcome advice, smile, nod, say thank you and then "delete" it later lol

Sally - posted on 11/19/2010

Do you have a baby carrier--a sling, Moby wrap, Mei Tei? That will let your baby get the mommy contact he needs while you still have your hands free to flip off the very poorly informed people who are trying to undermine your awesome momminess. :)
Good luck.

Roxanne - posted on 11/18/2010

Thanks moms. I feel like a kid trying to raise a kid. Your advice helps to know Im not being an over cuddly, baby spoiling mother as many of my family members are accusing me of. I love my little boy and holding him is all I want but people such as my husband, mom, dad, grandparents are telling me that Im spoiling my baby and Im not going to have a life because all he is going to do is cry to be held. Whatever if thats true it doesnt matter because Im planning on staying home till he goes to pre-k. I just didnt want to be setting him on the wrong path. And Jenn, I'll make sure something with the car seat(buckle, position, etc.) isnt his issue, thanks :)!

Jenn - posted on 11/18/2010

Despite what others may say, you can never shower your little one, especially those younger than 6 months old, with too much attention. It's around the ages of 6 months when babies start to learn that Mom or Dad will come quick if they begin to scream or cry. Around then, you should wait a little longer before going to pick them up or "save" them. Sometimes they can just be frustrated with something they're doing. What people need to learn is babies cry. Sometimes they need something, other times, they just need to cry. Think of things that could possibly be bothering him when he's in the seat. Are the straps digging into him? Is the buckle bothering him? Is he sitting properly in there (bum & back right against the back of the seat) ? Is it too tight? Is there too many blankets on him? Some babies just don't like car seats, they feel restricted. Make sure you have something in there to distract him if he does begin to cry. Baby-friendly music, toys, ect. For the sleeping part, you should try to put your baby to bed sleepy, but not asleep. This allows them to learn to comfort themselves to sleep. Make sure you've done the important things before putting them to bed and before feeding them for the night. Change, burp, cuddle, ect. Don't worry, things will get better as time goes.

Sally - posted on 11/18/2010

We find it hard to understand, but being held is an actual physical need to a baby. Different babies need different amounts of it.

Bonnie - posted on 11/18/2010

He is only 2 months old. You can not spoil a baby. They need you. This is normal.

Lori - posted on 11/18/2010

That's a hard question! I have 3 kids and overall I would say at 2 months old, you do need to respond to his needs and take care of him, he is a tiny neworn! NO, he is NOT spoiled! If he used to be ok with the carseat I would see if he has gas or an ear infection or a digestive problem like reflux (throwing up his formula or breastmilk). He could be uncomfortable in that position. But I would not give up on taking him out - to stay a healthy and happy mom, you need to get out and do things (if that is what you want - some are happy to stay home a lot, just a personal preference). But if you like to go out a lot, I would say plan short trips with him and just be patrient. Even if you have to stop every 10 minutes and pull over and comfort him, then get back toi driving. Don't take him out of the carseat (unless you suspect he is pain from gas or indigestion or some such thing) but just stop and pat him and let him know you are there and then keep driving. Kids will usually adapt to riding in strollers or carseta, but if you take them out everytime they scream they will very quickly learn to scream and they get out! My kids always rode in stroillers and carseats with no problem, but I would never take them out if they started pitching a fit. So they learned it didn't do any good to scream... But since your baby is so tiny, I am not sure how to proceed... He is very little and in order to bond he needs to know you are mommy and you are there to care for him... I think after 6 months for sure it would be more reasonable to let him cry more, so long as he knows you are still there... But for the next couple months he is awfully little... But then again, you have to go places and maybe just know there will be times you have to have him cry a bit, because you might go nuts staying home all the time! Just my 2 cents! Hope it all gets better soon...

Roxanne - posted on 11/18/2010

Thanks to all of you. But what do I do about the whole carseat thing? He wails until I take him out and immediately stops when I do(which is me pulling over every 2 minutes because I hate hearing him cry). Its heartbreaking and nerve wrecking for me to drive with him like that. He used to love the carseat until he turned about 5 weeks old. He would always fall asleep in it but now its his worst enemy. Advice???

Stifler's - posted on 11/18/2010

he's 2 months old. babies ARE a lot of work at this stage. just hold him or prop him up so he can see you when he's on the floor and if he's screaming after you put him down he might need a burp or a bit of a rock in the cot to settle him back to sleep.

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2010

No, I think a 6 week old is too young to understand how to get what they want when they want it. I think its roughly about 6 months before they even start to realise if they cry you will come to them.

Joy - posted on 11/18/2010

I don't believe that you can spoil a newborn or hold them too much. Listen to your instinct and if it's telling you to hold your baby, then do it! When they're little like that they don't have any habits, good or bad. When they cry, there's a reason. And sometimes the reason may just be that they want to be close to you. Your baby just spent 9 months curled up inside you, listening to your voice, feeling the rythym of your movements, listening to your heartbeat. It was comfy in there and getting used to the outside world is gonna take time. But to answer your original question? No. I don't believe a 6 week old baby can be spoiled. Best of luck to you :)

Christi - posted on 11/18/2010

Not to sound rude, but he is incapable of choosing to act these ways. He is 2 months old. He may have some gas that is causing him not to be able to sleep or making the car rides painful. Try burping him more and try gas drops. It may also be colic, which my son went through. It only lasts a couple of months, but it can be hard becuase nothing really soothes them. I had my son at 20 too so I know how scary and unnerving it can be.