Choosing Gender?

Nicole - posted on 08/02/2010 ( 63 moms have responded )

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How many you guys would decide what gender you wanted next?



My situation is we already have 3 beautiful boys and we would love to add a little girl to our family. Is it wrong that we want to choose the gender?

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Amy - posted on 08/06/2010

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While it's not wrong to want a girl, you don't always have a choice. Your hubby must have a much higher concentration of boy sperm than girl sperm. Those choose your sex contraptions do not work. The only thing I have heard (which is probably not true) is that the greater the frequency of sex the more likely you will have a girl. I would never in a million year ever consider terminating a pregnancy due to the sex of the baby as I am guessing you would not either. So, if you are set on having a girl I would check into adoption. This can be incredibly rewarding and you don't have to go through labor. It's a win - win.
Good Luck

Jamie - posted on 08/04/2010

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If you time sex right during ovulation it's possible to tip the odds in favor of one or the other gender. Female sperm live longer but swim slower, so if you have sex say.. two days before you release your egg and abstain for the rest of the time if you get pregnant there's a good chance it will be a girl. Male sperm swim fast and die young so if you want a boy, timing sex ON THE DAY of ovulation (or in the next 24 hrs) will give you a good chance of having a boy. Eggs only live for 24 hours so it's easier to time for a boy than a girl, predicting oncoming (within the next 3-4 days) ovulation can be tricky and typically only moms who are really into charting their cycles can do it with any kind of accuracy.

I don't think it's wrong to want a baby of a specific gender, but i don't agree with creating embryos and then discarding (donating etc.) the ones that are not exactly what you want. The procedures available are highly cost prohibitive and the idea of maybe destroying embryos that don't fit your criteria smacks of eugenics.

Personally, i wouldn't choose the gender (even if i agreed with it) because we like to wait until the baby is born to find out the sex.

Christina - posted on 08/03/2010

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I dont think its wrong to want one sex over another and when they are fertilizing eggs theres a really good chance that at least one of them will be a girl... and its your choice what happens with the rest if you freeze um donate them or throw them away and really no ones business what you choose.
I hope that no matter what you deside to do that you have a healthy baby and feel that you did whats right for your family

[deleted account]

i dont think that it is wrong to want a certain gender. but when it comes to actually choosing, you do know, that they way they do it is to fertilize a bunch of eggs, then throw the "wrong" ones away... =( that is the part i have a problem with... but, its your decision whether or not you feel ok doing that.... . for me personally, id never even consider it..

Alicia - posted on 08/07/2010

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When I was pregnant with my first I was so sure it was a girl and I really, really wanted a girl. She...ended up being a he....lol and I was so happy with my little boy. So then the next time we fell pregnant I thought I would really like another boy so Aiden would have a little brother (plus I found raising a boy child easy-peasy and thought...hey maybe a girl will be a little 'madam'....haha) and low and behold we had a girl...haha. So she probably with have her 'madam moments' but oh I love her so much I could not imagine ever wanting to exchange her for something else. We will hopefully have another child and to tell you the truth I really don't mind what we have. And this is not simply because we now have one of each is just because I know that if we had ended up with 3 boys or three girls or now whatever our last one is to make up our mix - you just love them to bits. I think it is 'human' to say 'oh I hope it's this or that.....there is totally nothing wrong with that....it is just when you start playing God - that is what I don't agree with.... What is that saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'....or careful what you wish for..... That being said and done, I have no problems with the 'whole eating certain foods or whatever it is that people do to 'naturally change things (even though secretly I don't think these work...feel you are going to get what you were 'meant to get' anyway....but when you start involving science or interfering in ways...this just does not seem right to me....just my opinion anyway. Hope some of these answers are helping you :)

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Donna - posted on 08/14/2010

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I dont see any issue with it. I did a very strict diet for 1 year, supplements & timing to conceive our precious little girl as we already had a beautiful boy! I would have loved 4 kids but as I'm 42 now that isnt possible. I DONT agree with throwing away embryos of the "wrong" gender but with technology today there isnt any need to do that. Gender selection isnt available in some countries (Australia where I live) but some places actually pick out only the gender sperm you are wanting & fertilise the egg with that sperm - so no leftovers. I was very keen to have both genders in my family if it was possible BUT at the end of the day I love the opportunity to have kids & decided I would be happy with whatever I was fortunate enough to have. Wishing you all the best in your journey.

Charmaine - posted on 08/08/2010

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I had 3 boys then we had a girl..she is almost 2 now and I did the calcium and magnesium thing too to get the oph level right and ovulation timing as well..I wanted a girl and not ashamed to say so! If we had another boy then it was meant to be but at least I know that I tried :)

Ruth - posted on 08/07/2010

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I don't think that it is wrong to hope for a little girl at all. I would say to hope, but be prepared to be happy with whether it is a boy or a girl : ) Which I am sure you will!

Belinda - posted on 08/07/2010

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I don't think it's wrong to want to choose the gender or to have a preference to begin with as long as you don't treat a child any differently if you don't get what you wanted.

I've always wanted 2 boys and 2 girls. I have my 2 boys and now I'm ready for my 2 girls. But if my next child is a boy I'll still love him just as much. I wouldn't take it as far as to go through gender selection or anything like that though.

Cheryl - posted on 08/07/2010

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I've got three little boys too, 6, 3, and 14 months, but I don't think I could choose. We've discussed it and if I want a girl that badly, we're going to adopt. There are too many kids out there who have nowhere to go and no hope for me to get pregnant again just to satisfy my desire not to be the only female in the house.

Dana - posted on 08/07/2010

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We are in the same situation. We already have 3 boys and I really would like to have a little girl. We are planning on trying to get pregnant soon. Our youngest son is 15 months. We wish we could choose. We feel a little girl will complete the family and satisfy my need of having another female in the family.

Merry - posted on 08/06/2010

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shettless method has a 75% sucess rate at conceiving girls and 87% success rate fo boys so those are pretty good odds if you want to do all the work. I read tha book and its extensive planning and prepping and mucus checking etc. If you seriously do it perfectly those are your odds at success but if it doesnt work and you put all that time and effort into it you might be even more disapointed then if you had just left it alone. That said if it works, then you get the baby you dreamed of!

Kristen - posted on 08/06/2010

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I wouldn't, but only because I want another girl and my husband wants a boy.

Sarah - posted on 08/06/2010

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To each their own, but if we chose the gender we want, we will be tipping the natural selection scale. We wouldn't have the same proportion of males to females if more people chose one sex over the other.

Consider- in China, they are allowed 1 child. Most want boys to carry on the family name and to help with family businesses. What would happen if everyone chose what they wanted? Very few girls to a majority of boys.

April - posted on 08/06/2010

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Here is a link to the Chinese birth chart that I spoke of in a previous post. It is a way to know when you are most likely to have a specific gender. Like I said before out 7 of us in our family, it was only wrong once. 2 of us recently had second babies and it was right with both of us.

http://www.webwomb.com/chinesechart.htm

Odds are in your favor if you use this. It is a way to do it "naturally" without having to have any procedures done.

April - posted on 08/06/2010

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Wow, no one can have an opinion without being chastised on this site! The people who post on here are asking for peoples opinions. Not for people to yell or fight with each other. You should state your opinion and leave it at that. Period.

Janine - posted on 08/06/2010

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What right do we have to choose the gender of our children? This is why it is called natural selection. True you can wish for a girl or boy as it were but shouldnt you just be contented with what you have no matter the sex? I am sure you are but we should not be playing "god" in the grand scheme of things. My mother had 3 boys and got pregnant with me, my father didnt like the idea of her being pregnant as he wanted a girl and luckily I came along. I have had 6 children and have been blessed with 3 of each sex. I had a boy, 2 girls then boy/girl twins and 6 and a half months ago gave birth to my last, another boy! I supposed i have had a lucky streak but I would have been contented no matter what. Your decision is whatever you feel comfortable with, but in the end, why pay for a proceedure that you could just do naturally anyway? Luck of the draw I say and just remember - these babies choose you to be their mum x

Soleil - posted on 08/05/2010

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I think it goes a little to far trying to play god.... so if you don't want another brunette, are you going to pick a blonde, and how about some green eyes while your at it... and why stop there, pick their personality traits too, like outgoing, or maybe you want a more laid back kid... make him athletic too, and of course cute and sensitive so everyone will like him. I think the world would be really boring if parents got to design their children...

Elizabeth - posted on 08/05/2010

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I think everyone is there at some point. We have 2 beautiful girls and will be trying for our next next year or so and would love to have a boy

[deleted account]

quite frankly god granted me one angel baby boy and 4 beautiful girls after him. I am forever sad that my angel isn't with me but I would take god's choice or "natural selection" over screwing with science in that way. That is MY opinion and I think if you have no problem doing so then go for it. If you actually question if you should do it or not maybe there is something or someone telling you it is wrong and shouldn't.

[deleted account]

I have a beautiful 9 month old little girl, and My husband and I are going to have more kids. Sure my husband would love a boy, but we are letting God decided what we get...I am sorry, I think it's a bit selfish if you decided to Pay alot of money to pick a certain gender...Be happy you can concieve. It's really sad that we live in a society that you can never be content. You always have to have more or something else.

It's ok to want, we are humans and it's natural to have those feelings but you need to be Content with what you have.

Boy, Girl, Brown hair or blonde, I am happy with what I am blessed with.

Brianna - posted on 08/05/2010

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not at all! I have a beautiful boy and I would LOVE to have a little girl next! :-D

Heather - posted on 08/05/2010

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how are you going to do that, as long as abortion isnt invoved why not try, lol

April - posted on 08/05/2010

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There is a chinese birth chart that can tell you when to try for a specific gender. You find your age on the left then go across to each month and it will tell you which month you will what gender. My grandmother checked it with 7 of us and it was only wrong once.

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband objected to the idea as soon as I brought it up. But personally Ide love it, maybe hubby will be on board in a few years when its guranteed we would only have 1 or 2 girls an not 6 plus.

[deleted account]

I honestly wouldn't care. There are pluses to both. Eventually I'll end up having both; so why rush it? When you rush and wish for something you don't have you miss out on what you do have.

Summer - posted on 08/04/2010

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Growing up I always said I'd have 3 boys and then a girl, I have 3 very amazing boys and guess what, another boy on the way. LOL. I don't think I could actually choose the gender, seems a little over the top to me. And the thought of throwing away those little lives, doesn't sit right with me. I say try the Chinese gender thing....now that I've looked at it, it's been right for all 4 boys, lol. If you are really set on a certain sex, adopt. There's tons of little ones out there waiting for you.

Angi - posted on 08/04/2010

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You could always adopt a little girl! Who says that the baby girl has to be from your belly!

MJB - posted on 08/04/2010

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I understand that it is what runs in the male's line, boys or girls. My hubby's side is almost all boys!!! The doctor told me that when I said I wanted a girl. : )

MJB - posted on 08/04/2010

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I always wanted a girls, when I found out I was having a boy...I thought' "A boy! What am I going to do with a boy! No tea parties, no twirly dresses!" But boys are pretty cool. It's the part of childhood I would have never experienced. When he was born with dwarfism, now there's a shocker! I had the choice to abort, but I didn't. He has REALLY shown me a whole new world! And I love it! Little people sometimes fear genetic testing; think of what it would mean. Not only for dwarfs but for all types of differences. Abe Lincoln, Mary Todd Lincoln (Schizophrenia), Frida Kahlo (Spina Bifida), Vincent van Gogh (Epilepsy), Sir Isaac Newton (Epilepsy). And many more. With Abe they are unsure Marfan Syndrome (no), "spinocerebellar ataxia type 5" is more likely. I know I got off the subject, It just blows my mind that science has reached the point where we can choose gender, or anything..we've come a long way from using leeches to heal people. lol

Christi - posted on 08/04/2010

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I think it is alot more fun to leave it up to God, but that's just me. I don't think there is anything wrong with it if you have tried so many times and different ways, so I say if you can afford it, go for it!

Domitila - posted on 08/04/2010

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there are certain ways that you can "make" a boy or a girl. I read this on the internet idk if its accurate or not but from my experience i thin kit might be correct. like if you have sex a couple of days before you ovulate it will be a girl and if you have sex while you are ovulating it will be a boy (or it might be inverted, i dont remember very well) and wearing boxers makes boys or stuff like drinking a drink with caffeine like a soda would increase the chances of a boy because the sperm would get more active or something like that...
anyways my husband bookmarked it because he says we are trying for the boy next lol
Good luck on getting a girl :)

Jamie - posted on 08/04/2010

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Well, like most have said I don't think the desire for a certain sex is wrong. I have a girl, and I pray that the baby I am now carrying is a boy. Either way though I will be happy. Also, I don't see anything wrong with using certain sex positions, diets, or vitamins etc. I mean sex is sex and vitamins are healthy. As far as going a step further and using the "scientific" method. I personally never would. I could not throw my children away just because they happen to be the wrong sex. I think a baby not sticking (like invetro-fertilization) is completely different then simply throwing them in the garbage. Now, if someone were to freeze the living eggs and use them or donate them later on then I would say sure! Either way I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy!

You know many of my friends have told me that they were just a little disappointed when they found out the sex of their child when it wasn't what they originally wanted. Once the child was born, however, they felt guilty because they were so in love with that child, and they wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, to avoid that my husband and I aren't finding out the sex this time. That might be an option for you. Then there is not as much pressure just anticipation!

[deleted account]

no it is not wrong at all, i have a little boy and when he gets older i hope that i can have a little girl.

Megan - posted on 08/04/2010

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I don't think so... I have one boy and now i really want a girl. You can't get like mad or upset though if you like didn't have what you wanted because that's your child and you should love it no matter what. But I hope you have a girl and i hope i do to.

Becky - posted on 08/04/2010

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I have two girls and would love a boy next but will be happy with either one I get. They do have Gender Kits and I have heard they work great. They cost LOTS of money but they give you 100% money back if you get the wrong gender. The kit comes with books, what you need to eat, when to have sex/ how to have sex, and the list goes on. Good Luck on getting your little girl!

Melanie - posted on 08/04/2010

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I agree, I didn't know what I was having with all three of my children. The nurses always thought that was more fun too. I figured it gave me a reason to push.

Tina - posted on 08/04/2010

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each person is different. I am hoping for a girl next time i get pregnant but if i could decide i would

[deleted account]

Okay call me old fashioned but I didn't even want to know the gender of my baby until the day of birth, I thought it bought a bit more excitment & anticipation to an otherwise extremely painfully & tiring day. I wouldn't want to know the gender of any subsequent children until birth either.
I think it is natural for a person to want a child of a certain gender (especially if they already have a child/ren of the oposite gender) what I don't think is natural is being able to actually choose to have a child of a certain gender.
In the end though the decission is up to you and your partner and really is no one elses business. lol
So goodluck and I hope you are blessed with the little girl you so want.

Heather - posted on 08/03/2010

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I don't think I'd go to those extremes. We have 2 boys and are expecting again. We're too far away still to know the gender, but fingers are crossed for a girl lol. If not, oh well. That being said, if someone wanted to do that, I couldn't hold anything against them.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2010

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I do not think I would want to decide the gender. I have one girl and am about to have another one. Yes, I would LOVE a boy but at the same time it just does not feel right to me to do it. But what works for one person does not always work for another so no I do not think it is wrong if that is what you choose to do. But you should make sure that its what you want.

Ruth - posted on 08/03/2010

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I dont think I would, I have two boy's and we are TTC our last....Dont get me wrong I would love alittle girl but as they say as long as it's healthy thats all that mattera ♥

Melanie - posted on 08/03/2010

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I think it is wrong to choose the gender of your child. In my opnion it is like playing God. We are blessed with 3 girls and would love to have a boy, but if that isn't the plan for us we are happy with our girls.

Karyn - posted on 08/03/2010

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it would be nice to do but its not right you get what you get you should be happy that your bubs is alive and healthy

Lisa - posted on 08/03/2010

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I think first it has to be a choice that your comfortable with. I have 4, 3 girls and a boy and didn't have all the choices you all have now. For me it's a God thing I wouldn't want to play around with what was meant to be natural.

Claire - posted on 08/03/2010

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i have a gorgeous little boy and would love a girl next to complete my family but no matter what you still love your child no matter what gender. x

Stifler's - posted on 08/02/2010

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I don't think so, I wanted a girl really bad and chose girl names but I got a boy and now I don't care but I'd like a girl next. I don't think I'd go to the extreme of genetic modification though.

Amanda - posted on 08/02/2010

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My husband and I wanted a boy, but we ended up with a beautiful baby girl. We are hoping that the next, and last, baby we have will be a boy so we can have a set and we won't have to keep trying.

Jessie - posted on 08/02/2010

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We used the Shettles method and also diet ( more magnesium for a girl, more potassium for a boy), our first was a girl, for our second we wanted a boy and tried the above methods and it worked for us, and we now have a lovely wee son. There's no guarantees but it does skew the odds slightly naturally in favor of one sex over another and it avoids the ethical dilemmas of other methods.

Courtney - posted on 08/02/2010

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Try "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby" by Landrum Shetties and David Rorvik
I've heard their methods work.

Sheryl - posted on 08/02/2010

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i don't like the idea or the though of it. me i guess feel it just a blessing to have what i got. and that i got them for a reason even though i may not understand why. i was told back in the old days i mean way back and in other countries when who had more then one boy or all boys where looked at has great women not for use why but to me that don't really matter just that i love them and that god gave them to me. my boys are really a blessing when i was told i could not have kids at all. know the lord gave me to azaming lil boys who i wouldn't change for anything in the world. yes i would have loved to have a girl but i seen it has god has other plains. but that just me.

Veronique - posted on 08/02/2010

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No it's not wrong. I have 2 little girls and would love to have a little boy to complet our family. Look if god bless me with another little girl i will be happy but i think that a boy would make everything complet.

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