Clutter Busters

Renae - posted on 10/31/2010

PS - there are around 6 old cars taking up our driveway, one is under the back patio, there is nowhere for anyone to park, I dont think any of the cars work. In our backyard there are 2 old bicycles, 2 lounges, a mattress (or what used to be), a wood heater and I dare not go and look what else. The back yard is not useable. I have been thinking about starting my own thread to see if anyone can help me, so if you get any good advice let me know! Oh and telling us to load it all in a truck and take it to the tip is not helpful, you are in essence telling me to divorce him as that is what that would mean.

Renae - posted on 10/31/2010

My husband is a compulsive hoarder, so I understand, oh believe me I understand!!! I haven't worked out how to deal with it yet and he refuses therapy. I have made a little progress over the years, he no longer keeps the little plastic holders that the sliced cheese sits in in the package. We have a 4 car garage chocked full of his junk, 3 large garden sheds, and entire front lounge area, one bedroom of the house, the hallway is full of junk furniture I refuse to allow into the living room, his mother's 4 car garage is full his junk and a large shed at the back of our investment property that has god knows what in it. I have culled everything of mine that I possibly can to make more room, I have nothing left of mine I can throw out, I dont keep anything, I cant, I have to be the other extreme and throw away things I need because there isn't a spare space anywhere to keep anything. My clothes live in a 50 litre plastic storage tub on the floor of the walk-in robe because all of the drawers and hanging space and under the bed are taken up by his clothes which he hasn't thrown away since he was 12. Sorry I turned this into a post all about me!

Firstly you need to determine whether this is a psychological disorder, or just a junk collector. Do some googling and read about hoarding to find out. Try to negotiate with him. I have made some progress by telling my husband that he can keep 3 small mailing boxes, 3 medium and 3 large, the rest he must let me throw out (when he isn't looking of course!). I once made progress with plastic bags. I told him that the plastic bag holder holds 50 bags and gave him 24 hours to think of a situation where he would ever need more than 50 bags at one time - he couldn't and so he agreed that I could throw away any bags once the holder was full - of course I dont ever mention that I am throwing them away and never do it infront of him. I also give things to friends to throw in their bin so that he cant take it out of the bin. If you come to my house you generally leave with something to throw away! He is also not allowed to look in the bin or open the mail because he will take things out or want to keep junk mail. We have been together 10 years and that is as far as I have gotten in that time!

Saraah - posted on 10/29/2010

My husband is also a clutter keeper, but we have a rule. He has the right to keep whatever he wants IN HIS DESIGNATED AREAS. If those areas become full, he must go through them and make room by deciding what to get rid of. We all have to live in this house and share the limited space, so I respect him by not throwing away his things and he respects me by keeping it from overwhelming the house I have to be in all day.

As far as the kids, I also have a rule for them, when they get a new toy, an old one has to go. Right now, they're a little young (Just turning 3 and 10 months), so during nap time, I pick a toy they're no longer using, put it in a bag or box and then when nap is over we take the box to a local charity. If they later notice that a certain toy is missing, I just remind them of all the other toys they have and how generous they are to have "shared" the old toy with someone who doesn't have any other toys to play with. It's about teaching the kids to be content with what they have, to maintain and responsably use their possessions, and to be generous with and respectful of others (including your partner).

Allie - posted on 10/29/2010

My husband is the same way. Unfortunately it was inherited because his mother is the same way! What seems to work for us is going through it together. ( I can get rid of ratty clothes pretty easy its just all the other stuff) He had three paintball guns that hadn't been used in 6 years. I suggested he sell them. He says they're "out of date and he won't get anything for them" I said it didn't bother me how much they went for as long as they went. He retorts "but I want Liam (our son) to be able to use them when he older". I say, "he's 2.. and they're ALREADY out of date." Thus resulting in them being sold! If he could find ANYthing similar in size (resulting in lack of space), quantity, and length left unused of MINE I would gladly get rid of it. But I got rid of most everything when we got married.

Itsa - posted on 10/29/2010

The rule for clothes is: Unless it's seasonal, if you haven't worn it in over 12 months, it is no longer yours! Give to charity! So the same rules shouls apply to clutter!

Luckily we have not had this problem... We had to streamline our wardrobes, we moved from Norway to the UK and wanted to just take 1 suitcase each and the stroller with diaper bag and hubby carried his carry on with all important documents. Then from UK to US, same again, had to get rid of more as didn't want to be charged for extra!

Maybe tell him he has the weekend to clean up or monday, it's all going in trash bags! My mom did that to us as kids and it made us jump up and clean up! Broken things, chuck em. If you've not fixed 'em, get rid! Papers, pens, etc.... chuck! Buy some storage bins and sort out things of value and store in basement, closets, etc.

Hope things clear up soon!

Nickie - posted on 10/29/2010

well kepping old stuff is ok i guess in some people eyes but ya i have to say im guilty of keeping shoe boxes and but that is to only strighten things together for ex like if i have alot of pens well ill mark pens on the box and put all pens in there but my boyfriend he is the same way keeps receipts and broken things i just wait until he gone out for the day to trown all of the junk and broken things away if he ask where is his junk i say in the trash..lol what is he going to do kill you nah..he might be mad for a bit but wouldnt kill you so just wait until he is out for a few hours and get rid of it i tryed so many time to o it while e is around the house but couldnt do anything with it..but good luck