considering going back to school but am too dependent on my husband who is not supportive

Jessica - posted on 08/10/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have always been a "late bloomer" and now at 29 and a mother to a 15 month old living on the priarie in middle america, I now want to obtain a higher education. After graduating from high school and only finishing 1 year of college I decided at that time school was not for me. That was 8 years ago, hence the late bloomer. But now after having my son I realize how important it is to educate yourself. And there really is so much I want to learn about and I can't stop reading! I want to be self-sufficent and travel but first you have to make money! Desk jobs that I've had in the past are not going to do anymore! I am done with those! I love the arts and would love to study art history but I've been told nothing i the art industry will make you 'real' money. I have a true interest in animals and want to study animal behaviour. The two people who are supposed to be closest to me are saying college is not necessary, "just read books" they say. Mind you they both do not have a degree. But everyone else in the world is saying go to school!! It's an accomplishment and that shows for something!! Plus learning from a teaher has benefits that learning outside a classroom does not, right? But being a stay at home mom who has a very frugal husband who does not believe in school or more debt. Which makes living my dream seem impossible, and my independence further out of reach. My husband is not a modern man. He wants to live on the prairie forever farming and ranching. I do not. I've considered being a single mom and working and going to school and living my dream even though that would be really hard. But I dont know if Im ready for all of that.
I hope my son will take education seriously. I dont want him or I to be out on the priaire for the rest of our lives. Please, This is NOT a 'pity me' post, I just want to hear from all of you moms who have gone to school and had no support. How did you do it? Was it worth it, all the time spent away from family and debt? Or can one just read books related to the subject and learn just as much and go out in the world and prosper?

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Lyma - posted on 04/27/2014

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I go to uni doing business degree and my husband said yes its up to me. but it bothers me so much that my studies feels like a burden to him. like even when I have assignments he will not think twice about making dinner or food for the kids and I feel so bad with his reactions about me being in the room in the computer. He will moan and groan and make a big fuss and wouldn't make nice food. He will just boil all the meat together with all the other ingredients and call me to come feed the kids when he knows my assignments is lining up and exams are near. He will go out and say I want to go out and watch rugby at the bar and ill be like, I have exams and I need to study, and he will be like, you never let me go out. I honestly have considered just leaving with my kids because before we were married he told me we can be married and he can support me while I study and I just feel like he is always angry if he has to look after his own kids. I hate the way he looks after my children with him. they seem like a nuisance to him. Education is really important to me and I think he loves his kids because he will buy them stuff but never really spends quality time with them like he wouldn't take them out very much or do what he has promised. He said, we are going to be buddies, and I want to take them out to sports with me, and Im just going to speak to them and discipline them nicely,there is nothing more that I get furious about my husband but the tone I hear of him towards my sons, and the fact that my kids and I are not more a nuisance than a joy. My mother came over to visit well first time, and he would get angry that I will take her out and he has to stay with his own kids.

my mother is important because she is my mother and I want to bless her by taking her around the city and all and my education is important and when we married it wasn't finished and he assured he was going to support me.

I don't know if i am still more angry about his affair or his unwilling attitude to show love for us by actually acting like he cares and supports us.

When its just me and kids at home, i feel like i can do more work then with him at home because I am more bothered about how he treats his own kids or how he reacts to me not making food and doing things at home when he is home from work.

Tabitha - posted on 08/15/2011

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i am a stay at home mom and i do a lot of classes online and fafsa pays for it. once i run out of online classes then i will start going on campus and do day care.

Tabitha - posted on 08/15/2011

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go back to school and get help from the state. my school is paid for by fafsa. they also have programs for assisted day care so you can go full time.

Jennifer - posted on 08/12/2011

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I am a SAHM and I am in school. My husband works. He is also in school. It is the best decision I ever made. We are lucky because my in-laws watch our son while I'm in school and my husband is working. My husband watches him when he's not working or in school. It all works out great for us. There are so many options for school now on the internet that if daycare is not an option and you don't have enough help to watch your son, you don't have to even leave the house. If you really want it, you can make it work. In the end, you will have so many more options and opportunities that the time and money is worth it. Also, you can get grants and not have to pay for anything.

Karen - posted on 08/11/2011

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Hi Jessica, there are lots of options available to go to school. You can apply for government grants and financial aid to help pay for school. Also, most schools offer online classes. I say go for it, but have all the information to show your husband. I am a 31 y/o SAHM to a 3 year old, and have #2 on the way, and I am going to school full time, while my husband works.
Just a quick question, would you really leave your husband to be able to go to school? It sounds like there are other issues that may need to be addressed before you make a decision. Being a single mom and working will not leave a lot of time for school. If anything, you'll end up not going to school at all. Make sure you think long and hard about what is really important to you and your family.

Britt - posted on 08/11/2011

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Get the education and job your want to pursue, if you do the job you love its really not considered work.

Jessica - posted on 08/10/2011

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Are their stay-at-home moms who go to school while the husbands work? My husband does not believe in daycare but I am not totally against it. Am I asking for too much to consider school in the near future?

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