Cooking breakfast at 5am?!? Am I wrong?

Maria - posted on 08/10/2011

I cook breakfast at least everyother day in my house the onlt day my kids eat cereal or something simple is on sunday because i am getting me and 3 kids ready to go to church and they are all 3 and under i love the fact that i provide them with a hot breakfast it feels like its the least i can do since im a SAHM and my b/f works while i do agree that being a SAHM is a job in in of itself i think that cooking is in the job description and it doesnt take and hr to clean up especially if you have a dishwasher but even if you dont i find that it is good me time i crank up the tunes and me and my girls dance and clean the kitchen

Maria - posted on 08/10/2011

yes you should have there is nothing wrong with getting up early one morning a week and cooking

Tasha - posted on 08/09/2011

I would have no problem with it, maybe not homemade biscuits every morning but a quck egg and toast or oatmeal or something, but i have a 7 month old so i could maybe go and take a short nap after that. Id ask him if you start getting up and making him breakfast, what hes going to do for you, maybe itll be worth it, like say a spa visit once a month or something. Ive offered to get up and make my hubby breakfast and offered to make him lunches but he says no. He likes what he makes himself so i sleep in. We do have issues regarding whats expected of me on a regular basis around the house, they think we should do everything because we're home, well my son is 7 moths so hes a constant job, and i feel we both live here and we both made the kid so we should share the work, although i do willingly accept more of the work around the house and with the baby because it makes sense. I dont want to be told what to do though.

Kim - posted on 08/09/2011

I'm LOLing for you. Heck no! Maybe on his birthday but not on a daily basis. In my house, my hubby gets up early for work and if the kids wake up while he's still home, he's on morning duty. He gets himself AND them breakfast and wakes me up on his way out the door. I do the big breakfasts on the weekends. Maybe you could prep some things the night before and he can warm them up but...I'm with you. Not getting up that early just to cook breakfast and you are not is grandmother, he knew that when he married you.

Danielle - posted on 08/07/2011

Right now my hubby and I get up at 4:30am. If we don't have leftovers, then I will make his a sandwhich and some other foods for his breakfast (1st break at work) and lunch. As of right now I am NOT cooking him breakfast because A) he never eats that early and B) I have 2 kids under 2 & my DD isn't old enough to sleep through the night yet. He's just happy that I get up to get his lunch lol. However, I stay up after he leaves (most days) and I start cooking my son his breakfast about 7:30/8. I also live on a farm though so with this heat it's better to get the chores done early and everyone eats before 10-including the animals. Usually they get fed first (before 7:30) because I was taught that.

Anyway, there have been times that my DH would ASK me to make him breakfast, and I would. BUT idk where your DH works or his hours-personally mine works in a steel mill 6 days a week 12 hours a day.

In the end I guess it depends on your relationship.



edit* The only thing that I HATE about SAHM who doesn't cook or give left overs or something is that their DH's usually ask other people for food at work-like this guy at my DH's work who is a friend of his and has been for years used to ask MY DH for food. It got to the point that I would pack for 2 people. THAT was some BS. Now I don't-but I feel bad cuz I found out that last week his wife sent a loaf of bread, a jar of pb, a jar of jelly, a spoon and a knife w/him to work, then another day she sent a tuperware bowl, a can of raviolli's, a can opener, and a fork-WTF! (and they weren't fighting-not that that even matters IMHO).

Casey - posted on 08/05/2011

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I would die laughing if my husband thought that i would do that. I do plenty for him and work, and he does plenty for me - but there are things that just aren't reasonable - and at 5am i ain't cooking nothing, I am still snoring! i wold ask - what would you prefer - living with nana and having a cooked breakfast, or living with your wife and having sex? :P

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2011

If you're a SAHM why not? My mom did it with my dad. Some of my best memories are lying in bed and being awakened by the smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee. That smell told me my both my parents were up, and nothing bad could happen right then. We'd get up, eat, and after my dad left for work, (and we didn't have school), go back to bed.

If I was a SAHM, and I WAS during the six months I was unemployed back in 1999, I did get up and cook breakfast for my husband, who, like yours walked out the door at 6am. And like my mother, after he left, I'd brush my teeth and go back to bed. The dishes weren't going anywhere after all. It made him happy, it made him feel loved, and it was one of the ways he knew I appreciated how hard he was working to take care of us.

I will say I don't like the way he was talking to you..but since I wasn't there and dont know how you were talking to him, I can't say that you weren't treating him the same way.

Monica - posted on 08/03/2011

He can wake up 30 mins earlier and cook his own breakfast. How about that?

Kathy - posted on 08/02/2011

I think he's lost it.... I don't get up that early now that I am a SAHM... I sleep till my daughter wakes me up usually between 7 and 8am... and if we have a cooked breakfast on his days off I'll do french toast or pancakes, if its bacon and eggs he makes it.

Alisha - posted on 08/02/2011

tell him you will only do it every once in a while maybe one to 2 times a week but not every morning he know's how to use the kitchen if hes hungry then he needs to do al lthe work lol thats what i tell my husband anyways.

Stifler's - posted on 08/02/2011

My husband thinks I should half cook his porridge and leave it in the fridge for him to warm up in the mornings. I'm like PLEASE make your own.

Brianna - posted on 08/02/2011

if he wants it soo bad why doesnt he wake up early and do it? lol if i was you maybe once in a while i would do it just as a nice surprise just to make him happy but i wouldnt be doing it everyday

Jeannette - posted on 08/02/2011

I think it was rude of your husband to come home with the grocery and TELL you to cook breakfast every morning. My husband leaves for work at 5:30, but he can't eat that early in the morning. My son isn't in school yet, but I do think about what I will do when he is in school. Will I cook breakfast for him before school? Or will he eat cereal/oatmeal? I'm not sure yet. Maybe some days I will cook. Maybe a couple days a week you can whip up eggs, they don't take long. Or you can make pancakes in advance and freeze them, then all they need to be is warmed up.

Jenni - posted on 07/31/2011

Simple, you're not his grandmother. Did his mom do the same? It's not 1965.



That mentality, comes from a time when our husbands toiled on the farm 16-18 hours a day. The tradition took awhile to die out.



I see nothing wrong with women who want to be dutiful wives. But personally, it's not for me. I am not my husband's slave. Of course, I do plenty of things to make his life a little easier at home, because he works 12 hour shifts. I clean up after he makes his lunches for the work the next day, wash his clothes, clean the bathroom after he showers (on days he is working!) all cleaning duties are mine. 99% of childcare is my duties on days he works. On his days off we share duties. I still do about 85% of the childcare. He works in the yard, maybe do some laundry, he'll cook dinner. But I usually allow him much more downtime than myself on his days off, to rest up. But there is a point I draw the line.... because I am not a house slave.



I am not here to make *everyone* else feel comfortable and tend to their *every* need. While forgoing my own. Sure, I expect to forgo my own needs and comfort more than my other family members. My young children's needs and comfort has to be met before my own. And yes, I will do things to make my husband happy and his life a little easier. But I also expect the same in return from him!



I think that's what it comes down to. If your husband is going out of his way all the time to ensure you're happy and comfortable. Then yes! You should be returning the favours! I believe balance is the key to a healthy relationship. Not one partner bending over backwards to please the other. It's a two-way street!



But if you work just as hard at your household/childcare duties as he works at his job. Then yes, I think it is a little unfair of him to ask you to do this for him. I also find it very old fashioned. I mean really.... who eats a 4 course breakfest before heading off to work?? I bet none of his co-workers receive such royal treatment. ;)

Stifler's - posted on 07/31/2011

HA! Dear God, you should stay in bed and he should eat weet bix. If breakfast is cooked in this house it's by him. I only cook one meal and that's dinner.

Jennifer - posted on 07/30/2011

oh, wow! First, I'd like to say that I am very proud to be a homemaker and I take care of the house, bills, laundry, etc. I feel like it is my job, and feel guilty if my husband helps me. He gets breakfast, in bed, 5 days a week. No womens lib here!! BUT! My husband would never speak to me like you described yours did. Not if he wanted me to do something for him. (we fight of course) And as to snubbing your attempt, I'd have blown my top! That of course is me, and I'm not saying you should beat him with your frying pan or anything, but maybe remind him that respect and caring go a lot farther than demanding anything! By the way, my husband also brags like crazy about me, and that always makes a person want to do more!

Loren - posted on 03/14/2011

@ Danielle...no, no, no I wasn't directing the comment to anyone in particular and I am sorry if it sounded that way. The conversation just seemed at some point to have a bit of a sharp tone and I was feeling a bit concerned that it may be leading to a major debate and was trying to bring it down a notch is all. I am sorry if anyone was offended as I do love talking to other women about anything and everything. The difference between men and women is that women share of themselves and mostly men share activities. I also know that we as woman tend to get very passionate about issues and was trying to be a bit sensitive to that. So please forgive me if it sounded as though I was judging.

Janine - posted on 03/14/2011

HE DIDNT MARRY HIS GRANNY DID HE??? okay so he has some outdated issues, you may be too tired to cook him a breaky first thing in the morn. If that is what he desires, how's about you either cook it for him the night before and he just re heats, or he cooks it for himself night before and re heats... honestly, it isnt rocket science to cook yourself a meal... HAVE SOME COFFEE AND TOAST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.... lol! In the 50, 60's and even the 70's. it was what women did... Does not make you any less of a woman for not doing it and you shouldnt feel that you have to as he has two hands and a heartbeat. is he incapable... I am not about womens lib but just more of the fact that all should be equal, so if he aint cooking you a nice meal, twice a day 5 days a week, why should you???

Katie - posted on 03/14/2011

NO WAY. If my husband asked for breakfast id tell him while he was making it forhimself to wip some up for me and the kids! My huband wouldn't dare ask me to do that. If hes up earlier than us he gets up in the dark without waking everyone. Can't believe he snubbed your effort. Tell him to shov it up his ass next time he asks!

Chrissie - posted on 03/13/2011

Uhhhhhhh I'd be like hey make enough for all of us would ya'? =]
No way I'm giving up sleep during the week so he can have Sunday breakfast... Nope nope nope not this lady.. If he want's it, he can make it. My husband had to start making his own lunch a few weeks ago due to our new pregnancy (I was pretty ill for a while) and to be honest, I am in NO rush, to start making him lunches again. It may never happen again, especially after this on is born. =] Welcome to parenthood Dad's. =]

Brittany - posted on 03/12/2011

I saw your update below. I can't believe he snubbed it! That was a bit assy. I could understand if maybe it was bad timing and he had too many things on his mind to eat breakfast that morning... but still.

If I were you I'd give him a firm talking to. I mean really.

Halima - posted on 03/12/2011

Its not what you ask for but the way you ask for it. If he had asked nicely I'm sure you would have done it for him after all you do love him. Ignoring the breakfast is the typical pouting responce at least you were the bigger person. Still cook dinner and let by gones be bye gones ok.

Danielle - posted on 03/12/2011

@Loren ~ I looked through the posts and I'm trying to figure out who you're talking to about respect. If it's me then let me apologize. I wasn't putting down the ones that do that for their husbands. It may have come out that way but that's not how I meant it. The desperate housewife jab was towards myself. (I love that show and my husband compares me to them as being an unconventional wife.) I guess I should have explained lol.

If I offended anyone else, that was not my intent. I don't look down on the ones that do cook their husbands breakfast. I just won't be doing it anymore. Jane hit it right on the head when she said he was pouting b/c they weren't from scratch lol.

Tamara - posted on 03/11/2011

I prepare toast and tea every morning for my husband to take out the door with him. On occasion i will throw cereal in a container and milk in a reusable drinking box and he takes that. The very rare day i have told him to hit Tim Hortons (major coffee shop chain here in Canada). Doing this small thing in the morning is a small way I can show him respect and in return he shows me plenty of love-often helping or preparing most of dinner for the family. I wouldn't be able to pull off a big breakfast but the little ones i do work well for us.

Signe - posted on 03/11/2011

I'm not allowed to cook breakfast. I don't know how to make biscuits, yet alone from scratch. I burn eggs and my 'recipes' can be featured on a kitchen version of 'creature feature'. Our son usually gets cereal or an apple or the likes for breakfast. If my husband wants breakfast, he makes it himself or he'll get some Burger King instead.

Loren - posted on 03/11/2011

Let me say firstly that although I DO have my own opinion of this and many other issues, I respect the opinion of others and if they conflict with my own I try to agree to disagree rather then SHOOT down or DISRESPECT them, especially in a public forum such as this one.
I would like to gently remind everyone here that they DO have a right to their opinion and it is appreciated that they are willing to take time out of their busy schedules to share their ideas and their opinions; however, that being said I would like to request that we all be mindful of the feelings of others and be respectful by not attacking their opinions directly else some may feel not to participate and I don't believe that to be fair and just to the rest of us that may benefit from them. This is not an attack or a judgement on anyone in particular, just a gentle reminder and request.

Jane - posted on 03/11/2011

danielle, i think he's pouting over store bought biscuits...poor boy, goiod thing they're men b/c they'd never survive as women.
xo

Loren - posted on 03/11/2011

Personally I think your husband was being unreasonable to have even asked never mind demanded as you said he had. I think that if you feel in your heart to do it every now and again as a special treat that's one thing, but to have such a demand placed on you in such a manner I find to be quite disrespectful and inconsiderate. My grandmother was old school as well and occasionally did such things for me and my siblings when we were younger but only occasionally. I think though that the two of you need to sit down (without the kids around) and have a serious heart to heart discussion of the expectations each of you have of the other and be mindful of the other's feelings and opinions. This is a difficult task but some marriages have dissolved for less then this.

Maria - posted on 03/11/2011

well if that was the case then no i sure as hell wouldnt make him shit either. Wow how rude didnt even touch it?? wasnt even appreciative or thankful?? HA! yea right well then i guess that says it all he can just make himself a bowl of cereal

Danielle - posted on 03/11/2011

Ok so here's an update on the whole breakfast issue. He had not said anything to me about it in a few days so I went yesterday and got some premade biscuits and cooked some bacon yesterday. So I get up this morning at 5am and cook him breakfast. The peckerhead did NOT EVEN TOUCH IT!!! So for those of you that do that for your husband every morning then kudos to you but this desperate housewife will NOT and I repeat will NOT be doing that again! He'll be lucky to get supper from me again. j/k But he better not EVER ask me to do that again.

Tiffany - posted on 03/11/2011

I'm not stuck in the 50's......I just believe in being a woman and homemaker, I certainly am! I have a husband, 5 children, and home to care for and manage. The feminist movement of the 60's was the single biggest downfall of our family structure of all time and it will take many generations to recover from it. I ask all of you that refuted my first response with this question: Why on earth wouldn't you put your husband's needs/wishes at least at the same level as your children's?????? Do you care for your marriage at all? If so, then we need to care for our husband's and not cast aside their requests or make them feel less important. The more we care for them, the more they will want to care for us! Food for thought.....I certainly do not expect to "change" any of you feminist driven wives, but the OP asked a question and I simply answered it as did all of you with your own opinions. Have a great day! :)

Glenna - posted on 03/11/2011

I think there's a happy medium in there somewhere. I cook breakfast on the weekends and freeze the leftover pancakes or waffles I make from scratch. You could either do the same with biscuits or buy the canned version. Maybe a hot breakfast once or twice during the week that you've simply reheated from a previous day or the night before seems like a fair compromise. Making a hot breakfast from scratch each morning is a bit much to ask, IMO. ;)

Lydia - posted on 03/11/2011

in my family my dad cooked breakfast for everyone and packed all lunches for us for school and my mom's and his for work.

Johnny - posted on 03/10/2011

LOL, same with my dad Jane. My mom was up until 1am doing laundry, he wasn't going to wake her to have her make him breakfast.

Jane - posted on 03/10/2011

let me add, that my father got dressed in the dark every morning. he never woke up my mom.

Jane - posted on 03/10/2011

you cook him dinner, right? my parents had a bunch of kids and my father got his breakfast at the coffee shop around the corner from work...every morning m-f...45 years. and guess what, my mom still doesn't make him breakfast and it's been 18 yrs since he retired. odds are he's getting this b.s. from someone at work or a friend who feels underappreciated. some men think they're geniuses when they talk to one another. maybe they can take a cooking class together and cook each other breakfast.
if he's feeling like he needs some attention from you, then see what else you can negotiate. maybe a night every week that's reserved for the two of you.

Christina - posted on 03/10/2011

My husband always asks if I'll get breakfast for him. My response is always the same -- "I did get you your breakfast. It's called Cheerios, and all you have to do is pour it out of a box and into your bowl!"
I feel kinda bad, but I just can't get up and cook first thing in the morning. Besides, my hubby needs LESS calories, not more. I'm doing him a favor by not adding to his coronary artery clogging! Sometimes we'll have "Dinner-breakfast food" which is essentially having pancakes, bacon, biscuits, etc. but having it later in the day.

Victoria - posted on 03/10/2011

I wouldn't do it either. Just to make him happy? Pleeeeease. It is good to do things to keep your spouse happy, but that seems a little extreme to me.

Megan - posted on 03/10/2011

His Grandma probably milked cows or churned her own butter... I bet his Grandpa worked from dawn to dusk in the fields...Does Hubby want to bring back ALL the fun stuff from the good ole days???
Eat a piece of fruit and be happy you have a family that loves you ya twit!

Aletha - posted on 03/10/2011

I wouldn't!! I do cook eggs and toast or make oatmeal every morning for myself and my daughter though...if my man isn't awake or wants something different, he'll have to do it himself...I have TONS of other things to do around here than be a caterer!!

Good Day! - posted on 03/10/2011

Neither of you is right or wrong. I think he's got unrealistic expectations. But at the same time, there is nothing wrong with a wife making a big breakfast for her family. Do I do it? LOL NO! Generally on Christmas morning I wake up extra early and cook a huge breakfast from scratch. My husband works nights, so occasionally we'll make a big breakfast together when he comes home from work...starving...because it's like his supper. That's what works for our family. I enjoy the "housewife role" but I just can't do it all. No one can. Your husband needs to realize that. Perhaps though, you could come to some sort of compromise? If you spend time making breakfast that means something else in your typical day has to be sacrificed. What is something that you do and BOTH of you are willing to sacrifice so that he can get his breakfast? Or maybe you can cook two big breakfasts a week and he takes care of dinner? I don't know...but try a "give and take approach" and not an "all or nothing" approach and see what happens.

Maria - posted on 03/10/2011

I agree with Tiffany and the others that say making him breakfast really isnt that big of a deal. its not about being stuck in the 50's thats stupid. I mean i may just be assuming so excuse me if i have it all wrong but it seems like he has asked you for breakfast before and was turned down?? And now he is finding another way to express his wishes. I do not agree with him just telling her to make breakfast and comparing her to someone else thats stupid and like i said that wouldnt fly with me. But if he has asked and asked and this is something he would really like i dont see the big deal in making your man something to eat if you are already awake and feeding the kids?? seems like a simple request that can simply be fulfilled. My mom is awake that early making my dad and brother breakfast's every morning as well as their lunch she is not stuck in the 50's she is feeding her family. And dont get me wrong my dad will also make breakfast for everyone but my mom will still make his coffee and make the lunches. Either way they are all up together and helping each other out but everyone is getting fed and everyone has their coffee! haha anyways bottom line i dont see what the big deal is make your man his damn breakfast. Just get on him about the way he is "asking" you and that you expect more respect and for him to understand that their will be some morning where you will not want to make a big breakfast for him and that doesnt give him the right to throw a fit. Put him in his place but dont punish him by making him eat a crappy breakfast

Johnny - posted on 03/10/2011

My husband would pass out from shock if he came downstairs in the morning to a fully cooked breakfast at 6 am. It might even kill him. I wouldn't want to risk it so I'll stay in bed and let him grab some cereal.

I could see doing it if my husband was doing physical labor all day. I would want him to have a full meal. If it fit in with our lifestyle and schedule, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But he sits at a desk all day doing drawings and calculations. If I sent him off after biscuits, gravy, bacon and eggs every morning, after a while, he wouldn't fit out the door.

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2011

No ,If he wants it so bad I am sure he can make it himself .

Brittany - posted on 03/09/2011

Why doesn't he make it himself? I often cook up eggs every morning, but my husband goes to work between 9:30 and noon.

Nicole - posted on 03/09/2011

NO! Tell him to do it himself and that you are the childrens Mother not his!

Michelle - posted on 03/09/2011

I think some women are really stuck in the 50's. A marriage is give and take. I am not to to serve my man just because he hoes to work. I work when he is home with the kids on the weekend but I don't expect him to serve me either.
We are equals in this house, and I cook a healthy meal everynight for my family. Maybe because I am in Australia we have a different view on food but there is no way I would be cooking a big breakfast during the week. For beakfast we have cereal or toast and very ocasionally wil we have a fried breakfast. All that oil and fat just isn't good for you.

Erin - posted on 03/09/2011

Well I'm happy to make my darling husband breaky every day, it is my duty as a wife and a loving thing to do *snicker, snicker* bahahahaha Actually if my husband asked it wouldn't be to bad since he only eats cheerios for breakfast and never wants or enjoys anything else...even at that he pours his own :) You are not wrong, if he wants it he can make it himself.

Nayuribe - posted on 03/09/2011

you are so NOT WRONG!!! if u give in once, he'll be wanting the lovely big breakfast EVERY morning!!!! if he wants breakfast, he can make it himself, seems to me he's able to, since he got the ingredients right!! LOL

Tara - posted on 03/09/2011

I have to say I completely disagree with Tiffany - just because he is working doesn't give him the right to be rude or inconsiderate of her or the household routine.

I don't think the issue is necessarily cooking breakfast for him - I do that sometimes - but the hour he wanted it at, the fact that he pitched a fit over it, etc. If he had asked nicely, then the response could have been different.

If my husband asks me to do stuff like that he usually says "I can get the kids up and dressed for you and watch them while you do this...", and if I say no, we just can't fit it into things then he's fine with it.
I get the feeling it isn't about the breakfast, but the lack of respect that the request was made with, and the fit that came afterwards.
And honestly, just because he is working doesn't mean you don't work just as hard to take care of the house and the kids, plus, if you do any kind of work-at-home (Avon, Regal, whatever) you are also working in the traditional sense.