Daddy Time vs Sleep

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

My husband recently started a new job in which the commute for him is 1.5 hours (on a good day) - 2.5 (if there is traffic congestion) and on top of that, he is manager so he works late regardless. He has not been getting home in the evenings until after the kids original bedtime. I have been allowing them to stay up an extra hour so that they can see their dad and spend time with him on weeknights - only now they are so difficult to wake in the mornings! I find myself wondering: "What is more important for the kids: spending time in the evenings with their father, or getting the original extra hour of sleep?"
Any thoughts?


Danielle - posted on 03/04/2011




My husband builds cranes and his schedule is nuts. Before Christmas he was working 15 hr days, 7 days a week. It's eased up alot since then and he only works 8-12 hours and sometimes has a Sunday off. But he also goes out of town periodically. It's hard on my kids and they miss their dad. I only let them stay up late on wkends if they haven't seen them. But the nights he isn't here to tuck them in I call him and he drops what he's doing and talks to them about their day and tells them goodnight. It gives them something to look forward to.It isn't the same as having Daddy here but at least they get to talk to him. My son has to get up at 5:30 on school days and he is a pain to get up if he doesn't get enough sleep. Maybe see if your husband can sit 15-20 minutes aside to tell them goodnite and to let them tell him about their day. If he's anything like my husband he'll look forward to it just as much as the kids do. Good luck =)

Eve - posted on 03/03/2011




How about FaceTime on your phone or skype so they can at least say goodnight to each other before bed time.. I do that for my baby when husband is away on business trip, sometimes a few times a day just to update my husband on things. My son is only 20 months right now and he loves seeing daddy on the screen!!

[deleted account]

Sleep is very, very important for cognitive development at those ages, so I would lean towards the sleep. Perhaps you could make sure your weekends are completely devoted to family time so that they get good, high-quality time with dad then. The quality of time they spend with him on Saturday will be much better than the single hour of time with him at night when everyone is tired, and there is an old saying "quality over quantity" and I think it definitely applies to time with parents.

Nicole - posted on 03/03/2011




i would give them the option. if they would like to stay up and see their dad, they need to take and afternoon nap. that way they will still get their sleep and they can see their dad too.

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[deleted account]

Thanks guys for your input! I'm leaning towards 'sleep' as the clear winner here as well. I'm going to put them to bed at regular time next week and stress more "daddy time" on weekends. The kids have been sluggish every morning and I really dislike stuffing them into their clothes as they slumber on the sofa!

Stifler's - posted on 03/04/2011




Sleep. Does he have the weekend off? My husband is gone before Logan wakes up and Logan is in bed 45 minutes after he gets home, we eat tea, they have a shower and he always helps puts Logan to bed. But he's home 2 entire days a week so I'm not going to let Logan stay up until 830 (he's 13 months). I would lean towards sleep too of he's home all weekend or even all Sunday or Saturday and not the other day.

Brianna - posted on 03/03/2011




my husband works very long hours and sometimes goes a week without seeing our daughter even though he comes home everynight (many times he come home after im even in bed and leaves before im awake). I think sleep is very important. Does he work weekends? cuz i think that if he has the weekends with them then you should put them to bed on time on weekdays

SuAnne - posted on 03/03/2011




Is it possible for your husband to have breakfast with them before work/school? Maybe it would be easier for them to spend time together in the morning rather than the evening. And then, like others have said, keep your weekends (or most of it anyway) for family time.

[deleted account]

I should have also stated that both of my kids (8 and 4 years) go to school at 7 o'clock in the morning and get home around 3 in the afternoon. It is difficult to get them to nap after school. Perhaps if we all "unplugged" and maybe listened to relaxing music for about an hour after school it would be better than no nap at all.

Katherine - posted on 03/03/2011




Well it depends on how late they are staying up.....I think it's important they see their dad. He probably doesn't spend time with them because of his job. Which you already stated. So an extra hour of sleep is better IMO.

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