Dealing with the husband...

Sonia - posted on 12/02/2008

Hey Seana, My husband was the same way & I was they same way like you too. Some guys are scared to deal with kids at a young age from what I found. My husband never wanted to hold our daughter, never gave her a bath, never feed her, he wouldn't even change her diaper. He was like this for the first 2 years & I always thought he did not want anything with our daughter but what I found out was that he was afraid of hurting her. Now my daughter is 3 1/2 years & he's a lot better with her. So give him time, he'll come around.

Sarah - posted on 12/01/2008

My husband was the same way until he came home from work one night to find both our 3 week old daughter and myself crying (she'd been fussing all day and I was at the end of my rope). He took over the evenings so I could relax. I just told him that my job may not be a 9 to 5, but I still need a break at the end of the day. She is now two months old and actually gets fussy in the evening if he has to work late! I guess I see where I rank... LOL.

Hopi - posted on 11/30/2008

I have involved my husband in some daily events (like bath and bed time) and also have created times in the evening when I expect that he will do childcare and unless something really crazy happens (like she pees on the changing table and he needs help or she has a serious "I need mommy" meltdown), I just leave it to him. An example is when I am cleaning the kitchen/dishes after dinner. That is his time to watch her. Sometimes she crawls into the kitchen looking for me and if she starts to be a distraction by getting into things she is not supposed to, I just tell him to come get her. It took practice and diligence on my part to just allow him to parent and to convey the expectation that he do so. Once I did that he has just gotten better at finding out what works for them in terms of fun. It did take a conversation where I said I needed help from him to do it. He needed to realize both that I valued his role as father and I could not do everything by myself. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 11/30/2008

i think its a male thing .. if mums here she can do it i'll do it if i have to ... thats what my hubbys like .. but to be fair he also lets me have a sleep in some mornings .. and he has the girls while i do the groceries and things like that

Terry - posted on 11/30/2008

My husband took specific daily jobs, like bathing, and every other night he does bedtime. I stayed out of sight so baby wouldn't be distracted by me--like you said, they probably do better when you're not around. It's good for them to get their own groove without you showing them how it's "suppose" to be done, plus you can get a moment to yourself! The more confident he gets from these little routines, the more involved he will become in other aspects of daily life and eventually you might get to run to the grocery store by yourself! It's a long road, and may take some extra encouragement from you (and a lot of biting your tongue--good for you for keeping thoughts to yourself so far! lol)