Bailey - posted on 12/09/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )
One of my 3-year-old twins has become increasingly defiant lately, and I feel like I need some advice. Some examples of his behavior include screaming, and calling me an idiot, (not sure where he even heard that word as I don't use it, and my children don't watch television) aggression towards my other kids including scratching, hitting, kicking and hair-pulling, not listening or complying with my requests, (he says "NO" every time I ask him to do something or to stop doing something) and when I punish him by sending him to his room he almost always takes his clothes off and spits on the floor while he is in there. All this in addition to serious screaming tantrums pretty frequently.
I'm not sure what to do here. I have 4 children (all under the age of 4) and am expecting a 5th child in March. None of my other kids behave this way. The others listen pretty well for their age, even the baby who is not quite 17 months old can follow simple direction. I ordered Dr. Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" but it hasn't come in the mail yet. I always praise him when he behaves well. I really need to get a handle on this aggressive behavior though. Obviously I can't have him hurting the other kids. Also, I'm afraid that I am beginning to feel a little resentful towards him for always being the one to cause trouble. My mother-in-law has told me that my husband behaved very much in this way as a child, although I don't think he ever called her names. From what I understand, she was never really able to come up with a workable solution to deal with this behavior. I'd really appreciate some advice, insight, shared experiences, anything! Thanks in advance.