Defiant 3-yr-old. HELP, PLEASE!!

Schmoopy - posted on 12/10/2010

You sound like an experienced parent if you already have 4 children. So you know that the age of 3 is T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

I probably don't have any advice you haven't already tried. Just remember two things:

1. Childhood is the process of becoming civilized.
2. Every stage is temporary!

Hayley - posted on 12/09/2010

Time out.... definitely time out!
Awesome method to use as long as you stick to it. I've been using it on my 3 & 4 year old consistently for the last year or so and I haven't lost my voice since :D

Leslie - posted on 12/09/2010

Use the same method as Christy.....toys go in a "time out" and have to be earned back. that's for what I would deem "minor infractions". However, outright defiance...such as "no" when asked to do something, deserves something harsher. If you choose a time out, or naughty corner, whatever......the key is to be consistent! That means every time you hear "no".....into the corner they go. Every time. When it starts to interfere with their play time....you'll see them wise up pretty soon. But if it doesn't and the aggression increases... then you have to step up your game too. loss of privileges, special outings, etc. etc. And yes, most definitely praise and reward for good behaviour. And setting aside time for each child with you alone, a "date" if you will, is certainly a good idea, but not always realistic. But even just reading a special book to only them, or playing their favourite video game, just something that gives them that extra special attention. Because they will find a way to get it......good or bad.
If you find you are being consistent with the discipline and there is no change....I would definitely call the Dr. Hope it gets better.

Stephanie - posted on 12/09/2010

Maybe your son is feeling a bit neglected and is lashing out to get attention whether it is good or bad. If possible try taking him out (just by himself)for a mommy-son or daddy-son date as a reward for good behavior. Having special days for each child is a way of reconnecting with them, and showing them that eventhough there are more kids in the house, they matter just as much as the younger ones. When our daughter was born we would set aside a day that one of us would spend just with our son. He got to choose the activity...reasonably bugeted of course. It was our way of showing him that our world didn't revolve around the newborn and he still got to be a little boy and have mommy and daddy's attention.



Also try choosing a corner to place him in when he does something naughty. I dont know if there are toys in his room but I have found that my children start to play with their toys and it is not a real "time out." But if you do choose a corner...make sure there is nothing within his reach that can be thrown out of anger.



Another good book to read is: 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. They have good advice also! Hope everything works out for you!

Christy - posted on 12/09/2010

Sounds similar to my son. IN CASE, I would get him evaluated by a DR to rule anything else out.

My son is in Pre K through the local school (he's 3 1/2) for speech delays. He was in ECI (early childhood intervention) here in Texas, a therapist came out once a week to work on his speech. Maybe they have something like that on your area?

Also, my son LOVES the movie cars. He has a lot of Cars toys. I take one away for each incident, at home or school. Time outs never worked, spankings, etc. When my son is good for a day, he gets one car back (he has like 20-LOL and most have been taken away but he is working on getting them back).