did anyone have a c section? was it emergency or chose?

Michelle - posted on 01/16/2010 ( 1843 moms have responded )

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i had to have my 10month old delivered via c section due to failed progress at 8cm. i found it hard to cope afterwards and felt a failure for not delivering 'normally'. I just wondered how other mams have coped since having a c section?

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Kristin - posted on 01/18/2010

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both my daughters were born via c section-and im just fine with it,my first was emergency and my second was scheduled.both my girls are very healty and happy.i never felt like a failure, and neither should you

Leanne - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi I had to have a emergency c-section on 3/10 i had Archie 4 weeks early due to pre eclampsia, in the led up to the birth me and my partner were so excited about the whole experience we was going to have together and i was so looking forward to that first contact... At first they told me i was going to be induced but that same day they said it was to risky and i had to be taken to theatre i defo feel cheated i didnt even get to experience labour at all.... I was so drugged up and poorly that i dont remember anything about Archie's arrival and due to having a Neck line stitched in (which is a canula through your vein in your neck) i was unable to hold Archie. Then he was wisked of to special care and i was taken in to special care myself it was 28 hrs before i met Archie.... if i have another one they have told me cannot have natural labour and have to have c- section :(

Jenn - posted on 01/18/2010

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I had to haved my daughter c-section. I didn't feel like a failure but did feel I missed out on the whole birthing experience but after 43 hours of labor and not moving past 4 1/2 cm, I was glad for it to be over. That was almost 13 years ago and I still feel like I missed out but am just glad that I have her, no matter how I had to have her.

Bethany - posted on 01/18/2010

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At 42 weeks, after 3 days of "pre-labor" and 20 hrs in the birthing suite with "true-labor" (both felt the same to me) I was 8cm and the doctor finally worked out that Charlotte had her head up and was looking down my birth canal with her left eye. She wasn't going anywhere. She was stuck. So they cut her out, and here we are.



No disappointment, I included a caesarian scenario in my birth plan. Afterwards, I looked at my birth plan, and still ticked all the boxes: no Pethadine, no drugs unless necessary for surgery, and then only gas and epidural, Richard to cut the cord, Richard to be with Charlotte until I could hold her, breast feed as soon as practical after the birth. It all still happened my way.



I'm so proud to have a scar from birthing Charlotte. I know what labor is like, I just didn't get the final skin stretching at the end. I tell you what, the cigar-burn pain of a caesar wound easily rivals that! I show her, this is where you came out of my tummy. I'm thinking of getting her name tatooed on my hip, at the end of the scar.

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2010

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thanks for all your messages it has been very helpful. me and my partner are trying for another baby but taking quite alot longer than our first which i concieved after 4months of trying it has now been 10months and stil nothing yet. i am hoping to have a VBAC delivery, i live in the UK and i know that the doctors here do give you a chance to deliver naturally after c section but will cross this bridge when it comes

Renae - posted on 01/17/2010

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Oh there are so many conversations going on c-sections at the moment I thought I had already posted!

I had a c-section by choice and it was SO easy! The best way to have a baby. I have found that people who wanted a c-section had a great experience and those who were forced to have one had a bad experience.

The recovery is fast and I was up and about the second day. By the 7th day hubby told me off for flipping the mattress while changing sheets, I felt fine and kept forgetting I was supposed to be taking it easy. I stopped the pain killers at 5 days because I didn't need them at all.

I had no urge whatsoever to have a vaginal delivery! And husband was over the moon about it. The way most people feel about c-sections is probably how I feel about vaginal. People always ask if I was scared of the pain or think I couldn't do it - not at all! Of course I CAN do it, I just dont see why I would want to when there is what I consider to be a safer, much less invasive, easier way to go. Remembering of course most of the risks of c-sections only apply after hours of labour and with other complications, when everything is perfectly healthy it is very safe.

Join the "c-sections" community if you want to read some positive stories about c-sections, that might make you feel better. There are also lots of women in there struggling with the same issues you are so I'm sure you will find lots of support and encouragement there.

(PS anyone who doesn't like my choice please dont private message me telling me what you think - heard it all before. Oh and no I didn't have a c-section so I could schedule the birth between meetings.)

Brittney - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had to have my twins by c-section, Not by chose or neither an emergency or a really huge emergency, I hated having mine because it took away that sense of being like everyone else and having the baby put on my chest or something like that, not knowing what it's like or to share the experience with a girfriend of mine....I hated it!

Krystal - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had my son by c-section because he was breached and when I had my daughter just decided that I would rather do the same thing. There is no reason in feeling like a failure because you didn't deliver naturally. If anything I feel like dealing with the pain after a c-section is more than most can handle. So be proud of what you did and that scar that will probably always be there. You are no less a mother than a woman that delivered naturally!

Erica - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had to have an emergency c-section in my 7 month. I was very upset about having to have one and also felt like I had failed my daughter, not being able to bring her to full term. I was not able to see or hold her for almost a day. I always pictured having my baby and being able to bond right away. I felt like that was taken away from me. Looking back now, I know that I have a great bond with my daughter. But even now 3 years later I still get sad thinking about what I missed out on by not having a natural birth. I never felt a contraction, never had any labor pains. I would def. like to go natural next time if possible. Just know that your child will not love you any less because you had a c-section.
Leanne I am sorry for your loss. You sound like a very strong woman.

Jany - posted on 01/17/2010

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hi michelle, Ok, your it. :) This will be my first time posting a comment since I have never been part of a community; so here it goes.
I have four children, 3 of which where c-sections. My first child was giant and I could not deliver him. Like you, I believe I stopped dilating at about 8cm (perhaps due to the drug??) My next one was also a section, that one was an emergency. After trying to deliver my daughter for hours, was stuck and her heart rate started falling. My third child, another girl was a vaginal delivery. Recovery was quicker and I found out that I just wasn't meant to deliver babys. My last was a planned section, the doctors didn't even make me try; Thank Goddness.
I share my story with you because had I not had those c-section, who know my babies or myself could have been hurt or not made it. All of my deliveries were healthy! One did not make me a better mother that the other. If you are sad because you felt that something was robbed from you, Go look at your child and if you still feel bad give him a hug. I bet you are so thankful that you have him, regardless of his entry... Pep up, perhaps you will have another baby and you could try again. :)

Heather - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had a c-section with my son. He was born 9 weeks early because I had pre-eclampsia and on the day the drs decided they had to deliver him, they discovered he was breach so I had to have a c-section. I felt let down that I not only didn't get to have a full and healthy pregnancy, but I also didn't get to deliver my son the "normal" way. I also felt that I let him down by not allowing him to grow completely before he entered the world. But now I know that that was what God had planned had us; and I have a beautiful litttle boy who I love more than anything on earth. So in the end, it was all worth it. I do plan on having one more child and hopefully having a vaginal birth, but if it comes down to a c-section again, I'll just take what comes...

Melissa - posted on 01/17/2010

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After 3 yrs it is still hard for me whenever a friend/sister has a text book delivery it feels like I got the shaft. I now have no choice for a vbac. Most people don't understand csections unless they have had one. But to keep it on a light note I could have died 100 yrs ago giving birth.(well maybe not a light as I had hoped -he he.) We have a community group for csection support and you might want to look into your area -I live in a small town. It sucks but at least I can still have a couple more children, maybe. You really can't do anything about it now and you have a little 10 month old sweetie. I try not to live in the past and try to move forward. Let yourself greive but don't let it bring you down and feel like a failure. And remember there are some women that can't even have babies and experience any of this. I'm thankful for what I have now! Good luck and possably in the future you could deliver vaginally(vbac) but if not nither can I so you aren't alone!:) Go laugh with your healthy happy baby! Life gets better every day when their this age!

Tina - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had 2 c-sections. The first one was an emergency c-section due my son's heart rate dropping very low when I had a contraction. It was very scary and recovery was very painful and hard. I was upset too that I failed at giving birth "normally" but then I realized that it was done for a reason.....to save my son. Once I held my son the sadness kinda faded away and I became very thankful. Please dont feel like a failure. The c-section was done to ensure that your child was born healthy. It was a necessity.

Britny - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had an emergency c section for the same reason, failed progress. I felt the same way, that I had failed at giving birth, not to mention my physical recovery was pretty difficult as well. but when I got to thinking about it, I realized 1 that c section was one of the hardest scariest things I ever had to do 2 my daughter came out of it healthy and may no have if it wasn't for the c section, and 3 that it's not like I won't have the chance to try again! As long as your baby was healthy, you succeeded!

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had a C-section with my first son. After pushing for almost 40 hours, my doctor was no help and never around...Glad i dont have her again. But afterwards alex was stuck from all the pushing and stress, they rushed me to surgery. I would have wanted to have him normal. Have to have another c-section now cause of the hospital rule. That comes in April.

Kim - posted on 01/17/2010

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My son who was the biggest and had the biggest head was born after being induced because my water broke. Then my oldest daughter was born via c-sec for placenta previa. It was a somewhat emergency since the Dr did not like the look of where the umbilical cord was to the previa. I was fine with it especially since she was born safely. That was my main goal. My 2nd daughter then had to be via c-sec too since around here insurance will not allow VBACs. Even before that I was going to go with another c-sec since it would be safer. Don't feel like a failure. Your daughter was born healthy that is all that really matters.

Stevee - posted on 01/17/2010

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My pregnancies were both c-sections.I had gestational diabetes.
My first baby was 9'9.But my second baby was only 7'6.
I was considering trying a VBAC,but my OB doesn't do them.
I also have felt like I failed,but I didn't and neither did you.
What's most important is that you and baby are healthy.

[deleted account]

i had to have an emergency c-section because my daughters heart rate kept getting shower... she could not recover after my contractions because they were so close and so strong... i was really upset about having a c-section but now that i have my daughter in my life ... it doesnt seem that important to me now

Jettanna - posted on 01/17/2010

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I HAD A C SECTION IT WAS MY CHOICE AND I WOULD PREFER THIS WAY DELIVERY OVER VAGINAL AS LONG AS YOU FOLLOW YOUR DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS AFTER THE SURGERY TO RECOVER WELL AND FAST!!

Candi - posted on 01/17/2010

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Yes you could possibly have a v-bac should you get pregnant again. There are some things that you could research, one thing to find out is what are the laws within your state concerning having a v-bac, because in some areas they may not have it as an option. Also being able to have a v-bac may be determined by what type of incision that you've had before all this you should discuss with your doctor when the time arrives. Remember that whatever the means of delivery of your newborn, you have still brought them into this world, being an important part of this great miracle of life.

Shakira - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had an emergency c-section due to my scoliosis not letting him progress to the birth canal, he was literally stuck in there! I don't feel bad, he is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2010

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having a c section isnt being a failure. it was something that you had to do and thought it was the right thing best for your child. ive got two boys and both of them i had via c section. one was an emergency and the last one through choice as i was scared of putting my youngest through the same trauma as my first. i failed to progress with my first child at 6cm and he was stressing out heaps while trying to deliver naturally, it was something that was just not possible, i wouldve lost him otherwise from cardiac problems. Just remember that what you done was the right thing for both you and your child at that point of time and that you are not a failure.

Jodi - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had one it was an emergency due to my baby not growing 2 months early and weighed 1kg ive coped great had another baby since u are not a failure so dont think that. The doctors trought it was the safest way

[deleted account]

i had a emergancy after 30hrs of labour then my daughter started 2 distress, i felt like a really bad mum coz i couldnt do it the "normal" way, and then i couldnt b.feed, coz i was in so much pain and my daughter wouldnt latch on and she just screamed the minute they pulled her out so i gave up after 2days of trying, and i felt bad about that 2 and wondered wot people must think of me!

but 22months on im fine and dont really worry about it 2 often!!

Rebecca - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi michelle, I have had c-sections with both children, first one was an emergency and the second was elected, i to sometimes find it hard but i then think that eather way my babys are here and thats all i need. Dont feel like a failure, you are the best mum you can be and thats all that matters!

[deleted account]

I completly understand how you feel!! I had an emergency c-section 5 months ago and i feel like a complete failure too. I went into labour naturally 5 days over due and my baby was posterior. I went through 32 hours labour and didnt use any form of pain relief apart from massage and water. I dialated to 9cm and stopped. When they broke my waters at 9cm my contractions stopped so they gave me pitocin which was hell. In the end they said i would have to have a c-section and i agreed as i was just so tired and in so much pain. I feel like i have failed myself and my son but i am slowly moving past it. I just hope that when i decide to have another baby that i can have it naturally.



If you ever need anyone to talk to im here :)

Hdlb123 - posted on 01/17/2010

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I've had 3 c/s. The first was a choice between me and my doc, he felt it was the better option the trying labour because I had had a ton of complications during the pregnancy and didnt think I would be able to go through labour without issues. As it turns out when they delivered baby they realized that she was too big to fit through my pelvis anyway, she hadnt dropped and wouldnt have been able too. The next 2 kids were also c/s because the first was. None of the kids dropped, none of them could have, when I had my last they actually told me that I was bruised from where he was trying to drop down. I've never had a contraction and never been in labour and have 3 beautiful kids to show for it.

Karen - posted on 01/17/2010

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i had a section wit my 2 yr old as she was breech, her bein my third baby and the first section, i have to say it tuk me alot longer to recover than normal delivery. i dont know why anyone wud choose a section, to me ders jus no camparison to deliverin normally. but havin said that wen ders no choice, wel it jus has to be dun, and eventually u do get over it and believe it or not put al de bad bits to de bak of ur mind and enjoy ur precious bundle.

Safa - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had an emergency c section too 3 years ago. After 14 hours of labour which was not easy to be stuck on 4cm. At the end I went through fit situation. I woke up the next day and I've been told that I have a beautiful little girl and I missed all the moments that I have been waiting for. Still I feel like a lot of failure not a bit because that moment was a dream for me to see the baby coming out and enjoy the first sound of the baby crying. My sister told me that it is just the head part which is too hard but then the baby slips easily and I wanted to feel that. I'm trying to conceive now and I still keep asking if I could have a normal delivery and I will try it first before I go to c section. it is dangerous for me but I want to try because I feel pain in my heart that I couldn't give a natural birth.

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2010

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would like to thank all mams for their responses this has gave me courage to help me get over having a c section, although it was out of my control i do have a healthy and happy baby and thats all that matters maybe next time i will deliver naturally but as long as the baby is healthy it doesnt matter x x

Hannah - posted on 01/16/2010

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I had an emergency c-section my sons heart stopped beating and started and was getting to fast and slow it ended up stopping i think twice or three times so they rushed me back, i hated it that i didnt have him normally but i knew that if thats how it happened then thats how it was meant to be. its not your fault you cant help it it just happens but a way to look at it is that we are able to hace c-sections done. what if you wouldnt have had the c-section and your baby was hurt? be thankful that you were able to have that done and now you have a 10 month old and seeing your picture he looks happy and healthy and very adorable might i add. so see it as something that made you stronger that you were able to make it through it and you Can look at him! and just know it was meant to be that way.

Cassie - posted on 01/16/2010

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I planned to have a natural birth with my first son but I went two weeks past my due date so I had to be induced and after 20 hours of labor I wouldn't dialate past 2cm ,so I had to have a c-section and was very surprised to find out that my son weighed 10lbs 10oz, the doctors had no idea and estimated that he would be 8lbs. At first I felt like a failure but then I realized that everything happens for a reason and you still can enjoy the birthing process eve if you have a c-section. I was thankful I didn't get to the pushing stage because I couldn't imagine trying to out such a huge baby. With my second child I chose to have a repeat c-section because she was estimated to be a big baby too and the doctors said my labor would probably be the same, otherwise I may have chosen to try a v-bac. Just because you did not deliver "normal" does't mean you failed, you can't help how your body responds to labor.

[deleted account]

I had a emergency c-section because my daughter was breach. I too had feelings of failure, but I had to come to realize that it was beyond my control. I have a healthy, happy baby and that is all that matters in the end!

Crystal - posted on 01/16/2010

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i had somewhat of the same problem it took me over 12 hours to get to 10 with the meds up to 96cc finially got to 10 pushed for one hour she had a know onher head so i had to have a c-section because my pelvic bone isnt wide enough to push a baby out she was only 6lbs 8 oz

Amy - posted on 01/16/2010

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I have had to have c-sections with all 3 kids. I had wanted natural births, but my first wouldn't drop because my doctor said he wasn't going to fit through. He was a week and a half late and I never went into labor. My second was almost 4 yrs later and my doc was going to let me try for vbac, but no luck, no labor, she wouldn't come either. My last kid was year and half later and it was just automatic section, esp. since it was such a short time between the last two and doc didn't want risk me going into labor. It was really hard the first time dealing with the fact it was a csection. I had family that was very focused on only natural, which made it hard. As time goes on I realize all that matters is that my children and I are safe and happy.

Hella - posted on 01/16/2010

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I had a scheduled c-section as my daughter was a persistant breech. I was upset that I missed out on having a vaginal delivery and now, even though you can have a vagianl delivery, after a c-section they have to monitor you more which can restrict your movement during labour.

But im happy that i have a beautiful daughter and my c section went well. Even though im sad i missed on actually giving birth I just hope I get to next time.

But you are in no ways a failure!! Birth is a complex process and we are lucky to live in an age with such medical help available.

Ali - posted on 01/16/2010

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I had to have a c-section after stalling at 4cm..forever..& my son wouldn't drop past +2 station...I didn't want to, but he was priority. He was facing sideways & got his head stuck, so I didn't have a chose. I felt let down that I didn't get to experience a natural birth. But over the past 2 years it has gotten easier. Though I still really want that experience. I would really like to have 1 more child. Though as I have learned, the babies decides your birthing fate. Yes you can have a vaginal birth after c-section. It is called a VBAC (pronounced V-back...vaginal birth after caesarion). The doc will tell you there is a risk for your uterus to rupture at the scar since it is no longer as strong...but I believe that is about 4%. Which is well worth the risk to me.

Wanja - posted on 01/16/2010

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yes you could go on and give birth naturally, that's why the subsequent ones are elective....you do seem to want to have a natural birth and i hope you get to do it....best wishes

Michelle - posted on 01/16/2010

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if i was pregnant again would i have to have another c section or is there a chance i could naturally give birth

Wanja - posted on 01/16/2010

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hi leanne, just to say sorry for your loss....that must have been hard for you, but you seem like a really strong lady...I think it's great of you to use your experience to encourage someone else....blessings.

Wanja - posted on 01/16/2010

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i don't think you are a failure, especially not after having an extra month of carrying your baby! and it wasn't your fault that you had to had to have it anyway....i have 3 girls and they were all by c section. the 1st one i was overdue just like you and after 16 hours of labour she still wouldn't burge, so had to have emergency c-section when she went into distress. i didn't want to go through that 2nd time around so opted for elective and the 3rd one just had to be the same too. it never was the easier option for me especially when i had other kids to take care of as my husband had to go to work and i had to deal with the healing process. now that my last baby is 1 tomorrow it really is a big relief and looking forward to doing a bit more of 'me' things....all the best with your baby

Michelle - posted on 01/16/2010

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im sorry for your loss and hope in time you heal.... i do feel honoured to have my daughter and witness her growing up, thank you for your support x

Leanne - posted on 01/16/2010

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i had an emercency c section last year when my son went into distress i felt like a bit of a failure but with time it got easier i found it very hard as my son died 4 days laterbut now i have a constant reminder of him dont feel bad it doesnt stop you beeing a great mum

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