Disipline eh ... doesn't phase him ...

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My almost two year old is into everything. I'm so tired of saying no, stay out of that, dont do that, sit down, dont throw that, Im just getting tired. I feel like a broken record. I dont know what to do. I've tried the time-out chair or couch. I've tried smacking his butt, and his hand. He just cries a little and then does it again. I've even tried ignoring him. But Im just afraid that he's either a) going to hurt himself or his sister B) break something. PLEASE help!

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Kastin - posted on 01/19/2009

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Save the no's for the big (dangerous) things, so he knows when no means no.  Pick your battles.  If you can, redirect him.  Always talk to him so he understands what he is doing that is wrong.  Don't tell him he's bad, but that the behavior is bad.  What has worked well with my almost 3 year old is to take away privelages.  If he misbehaves with a toy, take the toy away.  If he misbehaves at dinner, he's done!  Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2009

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Honestly, time outs! They do work if you do them right. A lot of parents think that their kids do not care about a time out and give up on it. They do care, they might continue the behavior and then they go back on time out. Some kids are just more strong willed but I can assure you that no kid wants to be in a corner for 23 out of the 24 hours there are in a day. The key is consistency. When you start it could take a while to get them to sit there, continue putting them back without saying anything until they sit there their whole time which is based on their age and then they need to say sorry before they get up. We did this with my oldest and my daughter who just turned 2 yesterday. It is not easy because in the beginning it takes a while to get them to sit for just one minute and there are time when you will not see the logic of fighting for a half hour for 1 measly minute but it is consistency they need and I promise it will work if you give a warning and then put him on timeout EVERY SINGLE TIME! No exceptions! Good luck!

Sheila - posted on 01/17/2009

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Check out the book "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. It is an approach that can be used in just about any situation imaginable and will save your sanity, too. Basically, you teach your kids to make the right decisions by offering choices and helping them understand the consequences (good or bad) of what they choose.

"You can climb on that bookcase and have to go to time-out, or you can come over here and play with your toys." "You can throw your block and mommy will take it away from you, or you can set it down nicely and keep it for yourself." etc...

Hope that helps!

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Jasmin - posted on 01/25/2009

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What works for my kids is taking ther stuff.everytime they do something i have asked them not to do they get a warning and if they do it again then i take something of thers.They don't get it back until they have done what they've been told for a whole day.It takes a couple of days to work cos they just think you're playing games but when they realise you aren't giving it back they freak out. always follow through don't make empty threats cos then they take you for a fool.and be persistent the rules for yesterday are the rules for today and the same goes for tomorrow is my quote lol. Well anyway good luck with it all!!!

Shannon - posted on 01/19/2009

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Have you tried the reward system. A chart that he himself can put stickers on when he has even a good 1/2 hour. Make special time for just you and him even if it's 30 minutes-reading him a book, dancing to music or playing with his favorite toy with him.

Orpha - posted on 01/19/2009

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I agree with the time out thing. make sure you explain to him after he has served his time what he did wrong and make him apologize. saying sorry is so important. my step son was never made to apologize when he was little and had done something wrong and he's 16 now and has a hard time admitting he needs to apologize or to even say sorry.
another thing to keep in mind is that the human mind has a hard time processing negatives. meaning ... when you tell your child "don't forget to turn in your homework" what your brain processes is "do forget to turn in your homework" instead phrase it in a positive" remember to turn in your homework"
Tell him HOW to play with his toys. if he's throwing match box cars tell him you may play with those on the floor like this . If you choose to throw them or roll them on my furniture you will have a time out.
when he is getting into things he shouldn't , give him two choices of things he may play with. Stay calm and just because he is two it doesn't mean that he doesn't understand what he is doing. he can't process the consequences of his choices but he can understand that mom said it is a grown up toy and he needs to play with his toys. i hope it helps. Keep at it. most of the times things little kids are just testing the water to see what they can get away with. good luck

Jenn - posted on 01/19/2009

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Time outs do work. My daughter, who is 4, hates time out.  She sits there and crys and crys.  I used to tell her I would add a minute for her crying... but that wasnt really working and I didnt have a basis of how much crying deserved a time out....  it was confusing me!  So, I was talking to a friend, and she said "I dont start the timer until she stops crying"  I dont think that letting a child sit for 4 minutes and scream and cry the whole time accomplishes anything except teaching them that if they sit and scream long enough then they will eventually get to leave time out. 



 



I know it must seem like you are constantly chasing around your 2 yr old. I have a 2 yr old who just turned 2 on the 16th.  Im always chasing him and telling him dont do this and dont do that. I think consistency is key, if it isnt ok right now, it should never  be ok ever. im going to look into that book that was mentioned to you in a different reply to this post. Sometimes I have no idea what I should be doing... and my 4 yr old is strong willed and stubborn, it could help me out with her too.

Adele - posted on 01/19/2009

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I so agree with time outs! My son is now 9 and it still works! I am not a fan of smacking so a time out or taking away a favourite toy or denying an activity ( computer games, swimming, tv or his trampoline time) works like a charm. There are times when he 'begs' for a hiding but I have a terrible temper and I'm pregnant to so I really am carefull of any phisical action now as I am afraid of acting out of my own frustration.



I've found that the corner sit thing did not work for him as he still felt as if he was part of the house or company then. My psycologist suggested another room. As he has ADD I've made it very easy for all of us. I make him sit on the (closed lid) loo with his arms and leggs crossed. He may not speak or touch anything unless he feels ill or anything really serious. The door stays open and I set a timer. The rule is 1 min for each year but I've found it to not be enough. 20 min or so does it for him. Feeling left out of an activity even just watching a soapy with me is the most irritating thing for me. So to make it easier for him I made a simple rule. Irretate me and I'll irretate you back. So I sank to his level... but he soooo understands me! With the first (and last) warning I tell him what the consequices of his actions will be if he chooses to continue with his behaviour and thus give him the choice of the outcome of the situation.



I realise that your son is stil very small but tough it out... it gets better! Set your boundaries and stick to them and be consistant. I find my own advice very hard to follow but it really works.



Good luck and all the best!



 



adele



 



 

Dawn - posted on 01/19/2009

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i agreee with jodi. you need to consistantly disipline him. i had a problem with my husband not telling my daughter no at all and then when i tried to tell her no she would laugh and say well daddy lets me. but we've worked that out. and don't just threaten punishements...when i tell my daughter that i'm gonna take away a toy or the tv or put her in timeout i do it. if you never follow through then they learn that nothing will happen. one time we were at church and when i went to get her from the nursary she didn't want to pick up the toys. so i told her she either picks then up or i would take away the tv when we got home. well i picked up the toys so when we got home she lost tv privaleges for the whole day. well long story short then next time we went to church she not only picked up her toys but everyone elses too!! it gets better i promise. just be calm...that was the hardest part for me. if you get mad and raise your voice all the time that can be bad too. sometimes kids just want attention and they will take what they can get even if it's negative. so also make sure you are involving him in plenty of activities and giving lots of good attention. have him 'help' with the chores...i let my daugher help with the laundry and with putting her clothes away...they don't ever go in the right drawer but that's not the point. and i let her help me with the baby so she isn't rejecting him either. sometimes they can get jealous of a younger sibling too. hope this helps:)

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