Divorce and Special Needs Child

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

Husband decided he had enough and filed for divorce about two weeks ago. I am a stay at home mom for my 6 yr old with Asperger's. Being that I haven't recieved any support - I applied for assistance through the county. Has anyone been in this situation? Been left with nothing and now facing months of litigation? Afraid we will be forced into a homeless shelter if my hiusband doesn't pay the rent. Hope to hear from someone. Thanks..

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Osha - posted on 04/29/2014

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Unfortunately you will probably have to get a job. My state and many others don't recognize any high functioning autism as a disability. I don't qualify for any assistance cause I make 5$ too much a month and my son isn't what they call mentally retarded. Sad world we live in...

Sheryl - posted on 01/19/2011

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there are other forms of imcome based houseing. other then section. theres apartments that do income based there selfs. they go through another goverment program i think. my mom had one once. best of luck!

Crystal - posted on 01/19/2011

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I know where you are comeing from. I'm 29 now and have a great husban but did not always. My kids are 9 and 7 and my son has Asperger's, peca, and ADHD. My daughter has O.D.D. and ADHD. Back my live up 9 years and Their father and I stayed together for the sake of my daughter and ended up having Alex (no that does not mean I dont love him too). At first he tryed untill we learned something was wrong with Alex. At that point he told me he did not want a retard for a son. We broke up and I got no help from him and had to suck up my pride and turn to the state for help. In the mean time had I not got help from my family I and my children would of been homeless. What you have to ask yourself is whats best for my child.

We met a great man four years ago and got married 2 yrs ago. We know live in a two bedroom appartment and am trying to get SSI for my son.

The next 2 to 3 yrs will be hard. Any one who says they wont is lieing to you. Ask, Ask, ASK thats the hardest thing to do some times but in the end is ASKING going to make you a bad mom or some horable person? NO! When your child grows up he wont remember you having to get help but that you loved him enough too.

Christi - posted on 01/18/2011

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I feel for you mama. I have a child with Autism and that is difficult enough without dealing with a divorce on top of it all. I would immediately talk to someone in CHIP's, Medicaid, WIC, you name it, I would get it. Also be sure that he has to help you out monthly. He helped created your child and since he has special needs and you have to stay home with him child support is not enough. I wish I had more advice for you. Keep your head up and keep being a geat mama.

[deleted account]

Renee - We have section 8 here also. I'm in MN. Most lists are closed but maybe I can call enough times to get on one. :) Thanks!

[deleted account]

Christy - He literally changed within couple days. Now he stops by to see our son less and less as the days go on. I plan on making alot of calls tomorrow, I can't let this frustration stop me. Forward motion. :)

Renee - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have not been in your situation at all. All I can say that if he doesn't help you out then he really is a jerk! If he doesn't do it for YOU then at least do it for your child. Only thing is if you are renting you have to make sure that your housing allows rent assistance. In WI it is called Section 8 housing, not sure if it is the same throughout the US and where you actually live. Just make sure when you go to apply that you tell them that it is an "emergency" situation otherwise you could be on the waiting list for months. As bad as it sounds exploit your son's disability. That might be what helps you get the help you need quicker. You can also check the internet for other assistance programs out there for single parents with disabled children.
Does your child attend school yet? If so you might look at getting a job during the school hours. If you are working you might be able to get child care assistance as well.
I feel bad for you and your child. Last month I actually threatened my husband with a divorce if things didn't get better. Since then he has really been working on himself and being part of the family. We have a 2 1/2 year old son and a 10mos old daughter. I can count on 1 hand the number of times he has watched, changed, bathed, fed, dressed, and gotten up in the middle of the night with BOTH kids.
Good luck to you. I hope that things go as smoothly as possible in the given situation.

Christy - posted on 01/18/2011

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What a jack A#$ for doing this to you and your 6 y/o! :(

Keep looking into assistance and at the same time, look into going to school for a college degree or higher one. There are grants out there for single moms (divorced ones as well). Get yourself a good education and a good job to take care of you and your child. There are programs out there that can help out with light bills, phone bills, rent, etc. You can't be choosy and you have to search for them. Good luck hon. Join a church if you haven't already done so. Find a good one. They have great support systems (as long as it's a good church) for emotional stability, as well spiritual.

Amanda - posted on 01/18/2011

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Were do you live? Are you in Canada? Have you tried getting you self Legal Aid? Also get your self a worker weather its a social worker or disability. Hope every thing works out for you and good luck, my prayers will be with you

Sheryl - posted on 01/18/2011

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i have not been in your shoes other then when i was a child my self. but you can maybe talk to your human resource office or dhr. to get help with thing like that. there other place too that will help you out. i would get the support taken care of first before the final divorce. sometime there place like communtiy actions to help out with thing like that. best of luck. i hate to say it too but sometime getting on food stamps help with what money you have so you can put it one you rent. maybe even looking into income based appt.! best of luck and i keep you and your child in my prayers.

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