Do you ever get asked...

Gwendolyn - posted on 03/30/2010

PS - true the pay stinks - but the perks are the best anywhere!! Soooo TRUE!!!
& if they comment anymore remind them of the time you were willing to pick their kids up since their 'JOB' was keeping them from doing so themself! :) best flex-job in the world even when it is crazy-busy

Gwendolyn - posted on 03/30/2010

Tell them you already have the most important JOB in the world (raising your child). As far as college goes sure someday - when you send your well adjusted loved child there... of course you will be visiting him/her!
The best kids I see at school are those with involved & stay-at-home-parent!
I only really realized this when I became ill & had to be home - WOW what an emotional & loving trip it has been! Not the illness but the growth I have seen in my kids!

Leeann - posted on 03/29/2010

i was told when i left my job that now i will have the life of leisure now that i am at home all the time i would like to know where my leisure is because i sometimes volunteer at my daughters school my husband works weird hours and i have a teenage son who just started driving

Louise - posted on 03/29/2010

I like to think that a more appropriate question for people to ask is "When do you think you'll get a good night's sleep?" Of all the jobs I've ever had, "MOM" is the only one for which I'm completely qualified, even when I'm at my wits end trying to figure out what my son needs. Yeah, the pay rate sucks, but the benefits and rewards are more than I ever expected. I LIKE being a full-time mom because I know that my son is safe and his needs are being met. I've thought about what I'm going to do when he starts school, and really I think I'll catch up on a few year's lost sleep when I'm not volunteering for chaperone duty.

Katy - posted on 03/29/2010

By the way my mum went back to work when I was 6 months. I am now 35 and she still gets upset and cries saying she wished she had never left me, and my aunt took care of me!!!! Just something to think on! : )

Katy - posted on 03/29/2010

Pooh to all those people who feel that they have a right to expect you to do anything other than be a great mum! Heard it all myself and I know that being a mum is THE most important job in the world. You are shaping the future, you are a cook, cleaner, problem solver, and that's just the easy bit. If you want to go to work and put your child in daycare that's your choice, if you want to be a stay at home mum, that is also your choice. I really don't understand people judging and telling you how to run your life. Stay true to yourself, live your life YOUR way nor theirs. Enjoy motherhood and the bumpy, fun filled joys and lows it brings!

Kandace - posted on 03/29/2010

i get asked all the time if im going back to work and i say not yet i checked iknto child care and its $150 a week for 2 and up and $300 a week for newborn to 2 so if i went to work and put our kids in childcare than i would only be paying there bill and than still making my husband pay extra money and for what more stress? and whe they say there are cheeper ways ask a friend or something like that is say i did that when i had one child and she tryed to kill him by feeding him peanut butter. so i can only trust me and my family to keep my sons alive. and everyone in my family works. usually i only get an oh back and that dumb well i didnt know look.

Karalyn - posted on 03/29/2010

I do have the same problem. My mother in-law being one of the worst for it. Trying to pressure me into going back to work becuase apparently no family can live off of one income. But really I dont need all these expensive luxeries, im happy with our condo, and van. We always have enough money for bills, rent, groceries ect. What some people dont understand is that its sometimes not worth going back to work. FOR ONE, I DID NOT have a baby so some stranger could raise her. TWO, daycare is expensive. The job I had before I was pregnant, is the only job I would ever want to go back to, and they would only be able to hire me part time....with those hours, I would make just enough to pay for daycare. I wouldnt bring home any extra money...so what is the point. Of course my mother in-law doesnt understand that.
And I agree with you, they're first years are the most important, most exciting, and i want to be there for every minute of it!!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2010

I have been asked this question as well and it infuriates me that people don't see the real work we SAHM's are doing we are involved with our children and how they are being raised no they may not get everything they want but they have what they need food, clothes, a roof over their head and never ending love. i had quit my job the month before i got pregnant with my son (now almost 3 and am pregnant with number 2) and I would not trade this time with my son for anything in the world it was not until i moved away to a new town that i have gotten more support for being a stay at home mom and SAHM were the norm for our moms and grandmothers so why is it not good enough for our children while things are more expensive now a days we choose to make certain sacrifices so that we can stay at home with our children and I agree we are a dying breed that i hate to see go. and just because we stay at home does not make us lazy it makes us good parents. so for all those judgemental people who think SAHM are lazy they need to walk a mile in our shoes then they will see how hard our job really is. I have a friend who says she couldn't handle being a stay at home mom because it is a very demanding job we don't get a break unless our spouse or our parents take our kids for a while (which in my case isn't very often and i'm okay with that) working parents get 8-12 hours away to have adult conversation and can sit down and eat a meal without the interruption of a dirty diaper or a scraped knee to kiss and make better. I would not trade my job and yes it is a job for any paying job in the world because i know that if my son turns out to be a serial killer or an amazing man it is because of me and the time i spent with him.

Mimi - posted on 03/29/2010

Good on you! The early years are hard, but when you put that time in, you will NEVER regret it! I went back to work when my middle child was 2 1/2, and I regret that now. I will never get those years back, and now he's in first grade. I'm making the choice to stay home now with my 2 1.2 year old, even though it would be very easy for me to go back to work. I know there'll be time for that later, but this is what's important now,

Natalie - posted on 03/29/2010

When i worked they asked me if I didnt Feel bad leaving my baby home and now they ask me if I'm not going out of my mind just staying home.I't what ever never mind what people say.Remember those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind! have fun with your baby enjoy every second you have with him the bond you guys will have that is something you will never regret

Christine - posted on 03/29/2010

Oh...are you kidding?....Stay at home moms, I would say, are the most disrespected group in our society today. I get comments like that all the time....:(

I laugh to myself, when I am at parties and people ask what I do for a living or where do I work...I just say nothing or I don't work and smile. They all just stand there, open mouthed with nothing to say and I walk away. Sometimes, I really screw with people and say I have no goals or I just sit home and play video games and chat on-line. Depending on their response, I can judge quite a bit.

Typically, if this is the first thing someone says to you, they base their self-esteem on their job and what it gets them or what they have. This type of person does not impress me or invite me to stay and extend the converstaion any longer, so it is easy to just walk away. If they are not a complete ass, I excuse myself and move on.

If people start a conversation with current topics, or kids, or family events...I know I can then fit into this conversation, without insulting them or them insulting me.

I think it is natural to veer to people you have something in common with. Do this and I think you'll get much more positive responses. Just always be prepared for the asses you are gonna run into...because you will.

One time, I was at a bar event and a woman asked me what I did for a living and I said S@HM and she said "Oh!" with her hand to her mouth and just walked away from me.

To me it's a matter of self-preservation. I will not allow myself to let others, make me feel bad about something they may never understand or comprehend, because it is not a choice to them that they would make.

Stay cool and calm....never let them see you sweat....lol.

Personally, I had my boys 4 years apart and it has worked perfectly. Even now, they are 11 and 15, and they are almost like best-friends. Best of luck:)

Brandy - posted on 03/28/2010

Let the world say and do as they please, but dont let them pressure you in to something you dont feel right about...you follow your heart and what right for you and be proud of that! All these moms are telling the truth when they say its the most important thing they could do and they would trade it....money and materialistic things dont mean everything and if you budget and plan wisely and cut costs where you can, you really dont feel the financial burden so much...i am a stay at home mom of three and two have special medical needs which cost alot, but we have learned how to live on one income and we trust that God will not see us suffer or go without b/c we want to raise and take care of our children/family.

Tanya - posted on 03/28/2010

I totally agree with you. i went out and worked when my first son was only 2yrs old. and i found that i was only working to pay off the daycare bill. and plus i was missing oput on way too much of his growing up. i couldnt do it anymore and i quit my job ( im a qualified medical receptionist) and i stayed home with my son. and when he was in pre primary, i fell pregnant with my second son, he is 17mnths old now and i plan on looking for just part time work soon. and then when hes in grade 1, i will change to fulltime work. a mother needs to be there for her children in those first few precious years to watch them grow. its not easy being a working mum, but its alot ewasier when your kids are at school fulltime, then that makes it easy for us mums to then work around the school hours. thats my personal opinion anyway, everybody is different. do what makes you and your kids happy

Brandy - posted on 03/28/2010

I completely agree with you...if you want children (and god willing you are able) you should definitely be home raising them ...that is a job and in my opinion the most important one you'll ever have! I am sorry to hear people treating you that way, they should be praising you...I stay at home and I have so much support from family and friends about it....i want to raise my children not work just to pay someone else to do it! You have made the right choice and keep your head up, and dont let people like that bring you down...if more parents took the time to raise their children, not to offend parents that work, this world would be a better place and kids wouldnt be in so much trouble! So, I say your doing a great job...be proud of that!

Anne - posted on 03/28/2010

My momma always said ppl that say hurtful and spiteful things are just jealous! Don't let them bring you down, just pitty them! ; )

Fiona - posted on 03/28/2010

Yeah i do. :( i love staying at home with my 7 month old.
We didnt plan or baby, and we hadn't been together all that long actually we were living in different states, so we were not set up for a baby at all. We dont have much money, things wood be easier if i worked, but i dont want to my partner dosent want me to either. We get by we eat well, bills are paid, clothes are in fine condition. So why should i have to work??? Oh so some one else can be called 'mmm mum' so they can watch my little girl grow and change each day.

His mother is getting on our backs now about me not working. Apparently she is a very very busy woman. She said to me 'one day when your working you'll no what it feels like to be busy.' . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . My jaw dropped, i may not be working but i still have a bloody lot of things to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When i get asked if im working . . . . . .. . "Yes im a FULL TIME MUM!!!!!!"

Bonnie - posted on 03/28/2010

i get asked alot "when im going back to work" i hate it! like you our son was planned and me and my partner are happy with the fact that i stay at home and look after our son. but i do think which ever parent stays at home has to do the "home duties", like cooking, cleaning, etc. i yell at my partner if he starts cleaning :P i think its my job to do it, as he is the one making the money in the house i feel my way of contributing is the home duties :) but if you and your husband are happy with your situation then thats all that matters :)

Nazek - posted on 03/28/2010

I don't really care what people say. I'm staying at home and taking care of my baby and that's that. As for your thinking of having another baby my advice is to have your kids close to each other your staying at home for one make it for 2. That was my plan. then you'll gte to take care of yourself and weight...

Kathy - posted on 03/28/2010

I get the same question " when you goin back to work". It makes me mad as well. But I simple say I'd rather be a mom. I had my son so I am going to raise him not stick him in daycare and pray they treat him right. I'm lucky that my husband whats me to stay home with our son and that my family is on my side about this since its what my mom and her mom did. I well go back to work when he starts school.
A few of my husbands cousins make the "lazy ass" comment. I simply ask them if they want to watch him for all day. They say no I can't I have house work and stuff to do. Then I say I do too and I also look after him so why can't you. They shutup after that.

April - posted on 03/28/2010

it's hard thing when we have parents who think they know better than us because they lived through it. what they don't understand is that they knew US, but they really don't know our children the way we do. we are parents now...we know what's best for our children.

Chesnie - posted on 03/28/2010

My mom does sometimes! She used to say "well maybe you can be a stay at home mom and be there for P". Now sometimes she makes comments like "Well I can't go, I have to work" and I no its directed towards me somehow. She has gone as far as to call a church daycare and find out how much it costs, then told me and said "now you can go back to work" WTF...thats my choice..

Emma - posted on 03/28/2010

I always laugh at those people, and ask if they have kids as 90 % don't and the other 10 % are working mothers who pay people to do what us S@HM do,
So the question is really stupid in my opinion and the only response is to laugh at them.

Tamara - posted on 03/28/2010

I would much rather know how my children are being taken care of and that they are being disciplined the way I think is best, not how someone else thinks is best. We are seriously under rated, miss used and beat down and that's not half as bad as our children on a bad day! We get up early, work all day, make dinner, work some more and when we THINK that we might get some sleep our children get sick, have bad dreams, are scared of the dark and any other excuse they can come up with at three in the morning. However, when my child skins her knees, bumps her head, is sad or happy even, when her older siblings are teasing her, if I'm leaving the house or coming back home I AM the one she wants, needs and feels that I can make everything better, even dad doesn't have the same powers as we SAHM's do when our children need us, and every time my children give me a hug and tell me they love me it makes everything worth it, EVERY time. So I say to you, the next time someone gives you a hard time about not working ask them how many times a day are you hearing just how special and irreplaceable you are?!

Rene - posted on 03/27/2010

yes i have my husband and i have 7 well mannered happy children who have the benifet of both parents and one parent on call 24/7 and they like that security people who say stuff like that end up with an 11 or 12 year old they dont know because someone eles raised them

Lori - posted on 03/27/2010

Hi Jennifer! The sad thing is that people these days don't value motherhood and raising children the way they used to. You are doing the best thing by staying home with your little one! Don't let anyone ever make you feel differently or bad for doing that. When I had my first child (who is now 20 months) I still had to work part time because I was under contract, but I worked night shift (I'm a nurse) so that we didn't have to put him in daycare and I would get comments from my friends who work full time about how I hardly work and my mother in law would always ask me if I was still "only" working part time. It is very frustrating!! And I'll tell you a secret-it is easier to go to work then stay home with your child and I think that is why some moms don't do it. The days I went to work almost felt like I had a little break :) I had a peaceful drive to and from, could go to the bathroom by myself, didn't have to share my food and had people ask how "I" was doing! We had another baby right away, so I am very busy with a 20 month old and a 3 month old!! I cut back even further and am now only going to work 8 hours a week-if that, just enough to keep my nursing lisence. Kids are only young once and this time is so important! I couldn't imagine putting my babies in daycare. Anyway, your plan sounds perfect! Enjoy this stage right now because it only gets busier! Keep up the good work!

Keisha - posted on 03/27/2010

Yes! this happens to me all the time. My brothers girlfriend has actually told me that I shouldn't be entitled to use a computer either because "don't you have a child to look after, or something? isnt that your so-called never ending JOB" at 10:30pm... uhmmm shes definitely sleeping for the night!...People, especially those who don't have children, should not feel they have the right to tell us SAHM`s that what we do isn't legitimate and they definitely shouldn't be able to tell us that the little bit of alone time we get we cant use. We know its the right thing for ourselves and our families and we shouldn't feel ashamed one single bit :)

Michelle - posted on 03/27/2010

oh I've heard this one, and I distinctly remember people asking my mother this when I was younger as well. I always tell people I will do whatever it is my kids need me to do for them, whatever that may be. People then tend to get flustered and shut up about it. lol

Shellee - posted on 03/27/2010

I guess I am really lucky in being surrounded by people who are really supportive in this issue...even though they ask me. It's mainly the older generation who are beautiful about me being a stay at home Mum. They dogged when they were young, working hard to support their families and they often regret the time that they missed with their kids. I really don't care about what other people think of me....my kids are healthy, well fed, loved, clothed and have a roof over their heads....when they're in need of a parent Mum's the word, I'm happy with that and so are they. I wouldn't worry you will always do what's best for your child.

Tiffany - posted on 03/27/2010

When my twins were first born, and until they were 2-1/2, we lived in Irvine, CA. It almost seemed like a thing of pride to be one of the moms who could stay home or take your kids to the park in the morning. I loved it. And even now, I'm lucky enough that the circle of friend that we have with small kids, are almost all SAHM moms. They only time I even got the question about going back to work, it was followed by, "you're so lucky, I wish I could do that".

April - posted on 03/27/2010

i have a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's in early childhood education. i am constantly being bugged about getting a job! I always comment that I have one already. I agree with you that daycare is no place for a child. I have elected to go to work when our son and his future sibling (we aren't ttc yet and won't be until he is about 3) are both in school.



I am also a breastfeeding mom. Nursing is very important to my son and also for myself. I believe in self-weaning and won't be having another child until this one chooses to wean on his own.

Melinda - posted on 03/27/2010

Oh yeah... I went to a party one time and all the women there were career women and the first question they asked me was "What do you do?" (like that defines who I am) I would just smile and say" I am a mom." Then I would get the look. Either they would change the subject really quickly or ask one of the above questions. I won't appoligize for my life. I love staying home with my children and I would be heart broken if I had to miss anything. I know plenty of mom's that work though and don't feel like they miss anything. My sister even. She loves working and also loves her girls. It's a very personal choice to be a stay-at-home-mom. It's also a very personal choice to be a career mom. I don't judge anyone on their choice I just wish I got the same courtesy back.

Amanda - posted on 03/26/2010

hi i'm new to the group, my name is amanda and been married for three yrs and we have 6 kids total one is grown adn thank god does not live in the house but the rest r younger 16 yrs too 10 yrs. old and i always get why don't u work or do something w ur life and i get it from friends and my hubby's family. let me tell u i just ignore it's what me and the hubby want and like he tells them u don't pay our bills and u don't have to live our lives so keep ur opions to ur self.

Trishta - posted on 03/26/2010

i feel the same way about my kids and i am always being asked are you going to get a job. i hate feeling if my children are safe the whole time i'm working. but in my case i have to find work so i am going to have to find work. may you have a blessed and peaceful life...

Mandy - posted on 03/26/2010

the only person who ever asks me about getting a job is my husband. :( I think deep down he likes that I'm a stay at home mom but he's used the the 2 incomes and me always contributing 50% to the bills. I think he feels a little burdened by having to "support me" as he puts it. I've been sticking to my guns and telling him that I think it is much more important for me to be here for our kids full time at least until they start school....they are 3 and 1. Although I am currently looking for part time work....maybe waitressing 2 or 3 nights a week (when he can be with the kids) just to get me out of the house for a bit and to earn some extra money.....I'm wanting to get the kids into some different activities that are gonna cost quite a bit so I'm gonna have to get the money myself somehow.

Myra - posted on 03/26/2010

I used to get asked that until people realized I'm a traditional kind of person. Although my thinking tends to be fairly liberal, both my husband and I strongly believe in the family unit and traditional core values. Those things include one of us staying home to raise the kids...me staying home to raise the kids because I have more patience and being a good mom comes very naturally to me. My husband does very well taking care of the kids, but it just isn't smooth and natural with him.

People who don't think being a SAHM isn't a job, only think that because they haven't done it. It is an all day, all night UNPAID job. ...And it only took me 27 years to find the perfect job; the job I never would have thought would be right for me...and it's THE BEST!

When asked "why don't you get a job?", I used to ask right back "why don't you try mine?" The typical response was because of money, but several times I was told they worked because they were "liberated and didn't have to be tied to the house and kids". I'm like, "sure...'liberated' by someone who tells you what to do and when to do it. If that's being liberated, I'll stay in my cave...I answer to no one but my children; not an alarm clock, not a boss, not even my husband."

Sheelah - posted on 03/26/2010

It's really unfortunate that someone people just don't understand that others want to raise their children themselves instead of having a daycare do it for them! I'm fortunate to live in a community where a lot of moms are stay-at-home moms and working moms (with kids younger than school age) are few. I've had people ask if I work outside the home, and when I say no, my usually response is, "that's wonderful to hear". And you know? What it is!!! I'm GLAD to hear you and your husband have the finical means for you to stay home and that you've chosen to raise your kids yourselves :)

Gabriela - posted on 03/26/2010

OMG! I have and it used to get on my nerves now I just ignore though i will admit it is easier said then done. I did go to school but it was not full time. I got a few certificates and all but i had my sons with their dad or at the daycare next door to my class which was free and only 3 hour class...i am planning on continuing my education in sept but then again by then my sons will be 5 and 3. But when they were younger it irritated me so much. You have a point of being with your kids and seeing them grow..You can't get that time back so appreciate it...it is funny how they think we just "sit and do nothing". Being a sahm is more demanding and tiring then anyother job i have ever had..it doesn't get easier but you learn to manage better. I too am planning on working when my youngest son is in first grade. I believe when they get to first grade they have more hours at school so it will be easier to work and be comfortable about it.

Nikki - posted on 03/26/2010

That must be so hard! People are always so judgemental, but it's your life and nobody's business. Try to avoid those people, and concentrate on your wonderful little baby. Yes, being a mom to your little one is the #1 most important thing you could do - I totally agree. Some people just don't get it, and others have no problem leaving their kids in daycare, but you just do what's right for you and your family and don't worry about what anyone says! Your baby will thank you for it :)

Alicia - posted on 03/26/2010

ah those statements just drive me so much insane!!! i stay home with my 7 month old daughter and people are always wondering when im going to work!? when the heck do i have time?!?! haha. i dont believe in day care. i think its an easy way out of having a baby. i WILL NOT miss out on first words and the day she walks for the first time so that some lady i barely know will see it. i too am going to wait until after baby number 2 starts school (we only want 2 as well) i think were gonna start trying the end of this year so our kids will be around 2 years apart. and then im done. when my kids dont need me anymore then i will work and go back to school. those woman who give us stay at home moms a hard time are just jealous they cant do it!! good luck, youre doing the best for your son by spending all that time with him!! i believe the "lazy ass" comments get started because there are "stay at home moms" with 6-8 year olds!! thats being lazy theyre in school. theres no point in being a stay at home mom when theyre not home. haha.

Heather - posted on 03/26/2010

For me my reply is simple, we have four young children and it is actually saving us money to have me home.

Jackie - posted on 03/26/2010

power to the stay at home mummies!

Elisa - posted on 03/25/2010

I have worked and i have stayed home i am curently staying home and am going to homeschool my 3 children my mil thinks that just cause i am home i have all the time in the world to do her errands and my mother feels that since i am home all day my house should be spotless all the time the fact that i have 3 kids running around it plus doing their school work with them is besides the point.. i tell her i just do not feel like cleaning it i would rather sit on my arse and eat bon bons and watch my soaps.. she knows i am being sarcaqstic with her since i do not like bon bons and i do not have tv

Katie - posted on 03/25/2010

I know a few of my friends who would love to help with bringing in an income but it's not financially viable after paying for childcare (1 friend is qualified in childcare but of course still has to pay the centres fees)

Melinda - posted on 03/25/2010

I get the comments that I do "nothing" during the day. I am a single mother..have saved enough to stay home with my son for his first year. I have to go back to work. I am tired of people judging me for deciding to be with my child. We cook, clean, laundry, taxi, grocery shop...the list goes on. I was flipping stations and Dr. Phil stated that one stay at home mom does the eqivalent of 2 full time jobs and that the anount of work done on a pay scale was estimated that a stay at home mother should make 120, 000 a year.

Jessica - posted on 03/25/2010

I haven't really run into this type of attitude much. most of the time i find that people who make mean comments are just jelous of the time i get to spend with my kids.

Kelly Louise - posted on 03/25/2010

yeah all the time but i just let them slide as it has nothing to do with them...not their bussiness and don't give a frig... i have three kids and run the house pretty much on my own as my hubby works 7 days a week on call all the time for the last 10 years... i did have 2 jobs on top of everything else that i do and did it for 2 years but it got the better of me and now i just a mum and wife.. i am happy with that.. i feel guilty that i don't bring in that extra income but some times i make up for it by taking in ironing for people.. meh let them what they want to think. you are doing what's best for your family..cheers kelbel

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

I have and I tell them that these first years go by too fast and are too precious to not be with them. You never really even need to respond to most of this. Good luck.

Barbara - posted on 03/25/2010

I always tell people I am way too busy for a job! Really, when you are a stay-home mom, the last thing you do is stay home, even when they are in school. I noticed you said you will have time to relax during the day when you son in school, but you actually do just get busier! We stay-home moms do all the things at and for the school that working moms can't do. You will be needed to volunteer, go to field trips, you can go see your children at lunch (which they love), be in the classroom, etc. You are right that you just can't get these years back, so just don't get offended by comments. I actually feel sorry for them because I don't miss these wonderful moments. No one will love and care for your children as much as you do! By the way, when I have had to be gone for some reason and my husband has stayed home and taken the day off to be with the kids, he always says my job is way harder, and he is more tired from a day of being with the kids than being at work!

Sometimes, people do ask what I will do when all my kids are in school, and I just say that they will still need me; that never ends even when they are in school. Even my oldest in high school wants me to be available for field trips, and all my others still love it when I show up at their schools for whatever reason. It is amazing how you will always be busy, no matter how old your kids are! Now my youngest is in preschool just two mornings a week, but that time is taken up with exercising and doing whatever grocery shopping I can get done in that time; so, whatever time you think you will have, something always come up ;)

Heather - posted on 03/25/2010

Yes, and I tell them something they can't really contradict! i tell them that I would love to go back to school and get a career, but I've chose to put family before myself! We chose to have a family at a young age so we can enjoy them when they are so active, I will probably start to take classes online and work towards a degree, more for the fact that mundain stuff from small children gets to me after a while, i do need some adult thinking!! That way after they are all in school and out of the house, I don't have to worry about someone else raising my kids. Plus I will be setting as example for my kids to always work to grow and stretch your mind even though I'm with them at home! I had the kids and I'm going to raise them!! Not someone else! My kids are more important than my "job" or "career!"