Do you find yourself obsessed with a clean house?

Danielle - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 114 moms have responded )

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Hello Ladies,

I am wondering if I am the only SAHM who is seemingly obsessed with keeping a clean house.

I have a 2.5 year old little boy, and my house is always generally tidy.



I think I am starting to develop a problem with being overly stressed about the condition of my house. I vacuum once every two days, sweep at least 3 times a day, there are rarely dishes left unattended, toys are always put away, and the beds are always made.

There are also times where I am up till 1-2 in the morning folding laundry, because I get anxious to think of the laundry sitting in the basket till morning.

I feel anxious, and stressed when I see cleaning piling up (even if it just a load of dishes).I thing I am starting to get a little controlling over house cleaning.



I am wondering if this is a regular house-wife tendency... to be a super cleaning machine.



So I guess my question to all those Stay-at-home moms is: Do you find yourself obsessing over a clean house? How clean is your house usually?

How much do you accomplish in a day for cleaning?



I am just trying to get a better handle on my day, and am trying to maintain realistic goals for myself.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I'm the opposite; I wish I could get motivated to do more. Sometimes it's overwhelming with a baby.

Something that has helped me over the years (even before baby) is the Minimum Principle. You write down the MINIMUM that you need to feel satisfied, and then try to stick with that. For instance, I wouldn't be too happy without clean dishes or clean laundry, so we prioritize that as a daily chore. You can ask yourself, does your house really need vaccuuming every two days? Could it be twice or even once a week? You can Google the term "Minimum Principle."

Sorry if this doesn't help. It's a constant struggle, mama!

Stephanie - posted on 04/05/2011

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I have three kids and one on the way... I clean when I can ignore it when I can't... I learned a long time ago dishes and laundry will always be there but your kids won't!! My kids are 20, 18, 15 and due in September :o)

Catherine - posted on 04/04/2011

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I guess I fall somewhere in between the other two posters. I vacuum every other day, or more often if I need to, I sweep every day, but I only mop 2-3 times a week. I do the bathroom 2-3 times a week, and I make sure the dishes are done and the kitchen is clean every day. Is my house clean, yes, is it spotless, no.

Sometimes I feel like I should do more, but then I realize that would take time away from my son, and I think that's more important than getting every pair of socks matched up. I clean for about an hour a day while he naps, and then when he's awake I might pick up general stuff, but I don't do any heavy cleaning. Laundry is definitely not something that should be keeping you up at night, it's just not that important.

[deleted account]

Here, this describes my house, and many other mother's homes as well. Like one of the other posters said, the cleaning will always be there, our kids won't.

Excuse This House
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there.
Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are every where.

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess
For toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read,
And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to
Choose the one job or the other,
I want to be a housewife...
But first I'll be a mother.

[deleted account]

danielle, it sounds to me that you have decided that it is your duty to have everything done because that is what a SAHM is supposed to do. So the expectation you have is determining where you spend a lot of energy on. The fact that you are asking this question makes it clear that you have reached a point of asking yourself whether you are overdoing it. I think you may want to ask yourself if these expectations are set by you, your spouse, family, friends, etc...

If you are defining who you are as a SAHM by how clean, tidy everything is etc.. and this is causing you anxiety and undue stress then you need to find out why you feel compelled to do it. Whether it is being a perfectionist, controlling (and housework is where you have all control), spouse (meeting his expectations), etc.. it is important to be moderate.

I have five kids so i have to vacuum certain areas every other day and dishes are always done. I sweep and mop a couple of times a week and my kids put their stuff away and I help my toddler do it. My house is not always tidy but I do like it tidy because that is how I was raised. I expect my older three kids (ages 3 to 7) to make their own bed but if something is not done, I am fine with it. I have never stayed late cleaning, I spend an hour a day cleaning and straightening up. I have hired someone to deep clean once a week. With 7 people at home, everything gets dirtier and messier so when I had less kids, I cleaned less too. As the kids are getting older, they are getting chores to help around the house as well.

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114 Comments

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Krista - posted on 01/12/2012

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To sum up my original comment that I had typed up for you ::::: Basically if my house doesnt look like it came out of a magazine, then Im restless and very stressed. I cannot lay on the couch in the evening even if their is one tisse on the floor. Everything in my house is washed, dusted, sucked, put away DAILY!

Anthea - posted on 04/23/2011

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Btw - I find keeping up the house only takes 5 minutes at a time so I get to play with my kiddies for the better part of the day :)

Anthea - posted on 04/23/2011

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Hey
Sounds like your becoming a little obsessive.
Personally i do the usual, beds, tidying 4-5 times, vacuum once, sweep at least after every meal, mop any large spills, 3 loads of washing, drying, folded and put away every day. My house is generally always clean and things are put in their place but not having everything perfect doesn't keep me up at night. Although I do have 5 little children.........lol. NOTHING keeps me awake at night!

Stacy - posted on 04/22/2011

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In addition 2 my reply-i had a messy house when my 4 kids were young, it really helps when they get older, they r so busy doing their own things that now i get neglected-lol-so i do a lot of cleaning!!

Mary - posted on 04/22/2011

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I'm in the same situation! I'm trying to get better about it...I usually just try to get out of the house to forget about it!

Jackie - posted on 04/22/2011

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Hi Danielle,
I was exactly the same, I couldnt relax until i knew everything was clean and in its place,This was when my children were younger, up until about 8 yrs ago.I have 4 children now aged 25,23,21 and 12,I was diagnosed with having Obsessive compulsive dissorder.I was in a bad marriage for 20 yrs, my way of coping with things was cleaning etc which that was the only control i had.
My marriage broke down 8 yrs ago,since then im not as compulsive as i have to control and take care of every aspect of being a single mother. Sometimes i wish i still had ocd.
I understand how you feel and if you need to talk ill be happy to listen.
Jackie

Julie - posted on 04/19/2011

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I used to be really stressed if there were just toys out and feel like my house was a disaster zone. I get stressed all the time about my house not being clean if I know people are coming over. My house was immaculate when I only had 3 kids, but once #4 came along I had to start letting some things go and not obsess about it because kids grow up before you know it and I realized spending time with them was more important than a perfectly clean house and getting enough sleep is WAY more important than a perfectly clean house. Now I have 7 children, including a preemie baby and 2 daughters getting married. If I get 1 load of laundry done, the kitchen cleaned up and 1 room cleaned each day I'm doing good.

Christina - posted on 04/19/2011

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I dont think I can help you either... I am the same way..vacuuming everyda, cleaning bathrooms everyday.making beds doing dishes..you name it I am doing all with 3 boys..10..5..and 20 months.. I do feel bad because my kids tell me all you do is clean all day mom and never play with us..and I feel frusturated at them when they tell me because I know they are right but dont know how to change.. When you find the answers can you please let me know too?

Kristi - posted on 04/19/2011

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I am a mom to three beautiful boys. They are now 19, 17, and 14. I was just like you when they were young. Looking back now ( because I LOVE being with them) I realize how much I would do things different! I would have "played" better and laughed more! I can't get that "little boy" time back but omg if I could, I may have had more dirty clothes and more dust and crumbs on the floor. Enjoy your "baby" tomorrow they graduate high school and move out of the house. Ugh! :0)

Stacy - posted on 04/18/2011

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Let me just list a few things i do EVERY day-mop,vacuum,scrub the bathroom,dust,disenfect every door knob,laundry,dishes at least 3-4 times a day,make beds. This does not include dinner and other outside chores with the 6 pets that i have 2 clean up after, i don't have young kids but i have adult kids living with me, i actually like a clean house and i could do a lot more but i already spend 5-7 hours doing this daily, actually at night cause i have time 2 myself and i love waking up 2 a clean house, answer 2 ur question, i believe u live how ever u like.

Vickie - posted on 04/18/2011

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Hi Danielle! I think it is very normal to feel like you want to clean all the time and control everything around the house, because that has become your office. However, what I notice is that you feel anxious and are staying up waaay too late doing things. Have you been checked for anxiety or a thyroid condition? After I had my son I couldn't sit still and felt very anxious. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and have to take medication for it. I still like a clean house, and I do clean something every day, don't let dishes sit, etc, but I no longer feel anxious. I try to plan what I am going to do so I don't spend too much time cleaning. On average, I spend about 1/2 an hour to an hour doing something to maintain the house 5 days a week. I don't let laundry pile up and only a couple of loads at a time so I can put the clothes away right away. You also have to let things go a little for now because you're not super human. As your son gets a little older, it will be easier to get things done.

Lori - posted on 04/18/2011

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I never feel like my house is clean!!!! Yet my husband
Says it looks like it's not lived in....I battle the laundry
Everyday but I began to realize my kids are more important
Than the house or the laundry !!! My son is 4 and my daughter is 21/2......and I don't want to miss a moment with them unless I have to!!! That's what you are is a stay at home mom...not a maid !!!!

Angelie - posted on 04/18/2011

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yes, we are the in the same situation... actually, I am a self-confessed OC, hates clutters and everything should be put in orders (toys, books, etc)...

as a "super cleaning machine, i got so overly stressed too and there are times i got really mad/angry with my boys (5yrs old and the other is 2.9 months), because the toys and books were scatered.
my day starts at 6am, doing all the household chores, and then i feel so exhausted and "low energy machine by 730pm :( too bad for me...dont have a chance to play with my kiddos, because what iam up to is to maintain the cleanliness of the house :(

Jessica - posted on 04/18/2011

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I have a 4 year old and an 11 month old I find myself cleaning a lot I vacuum 2-3 times a day depending on how messy the boys are I don't clean on the weekends though lol

Beth - posted on 04/18/2011

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I am a stay at home mom, college student, and I watch my sister's kids full time for income. The ages are 13 months, 3 , 4, and 6. I start every day cleaning, and clean throughout the day to maintain a clean home. I vacuum sometimes several times a day, never leave a dish, I contantly wipe things down with rags and with lysol wipes. I can't stand a mess. I can't even walk out the door of my house to run errands unless the beds are made, toys and clothes are put away, dishes done, etc. So I can relate to your obsession. I work fast and still have plenty of time to play with the kids, do school work, spend time with my husband, and relax. I used to be a messy mom, but with age I have become more obsessive.

Anja - posted on 04/18/2011

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i will always make the beds and have things clean but i used to do the whole it has to be perfectly clean thing when my kids where little and it took so much time from actually enjoying them so i had to learn to let go a little ...my house is generally clean but i do house work in the morning when the kids are at school and once they are home i make time for them i will still clean once they are in bed so no dishes are out and stuff is put away but if i have a day out with the family and the laundry gets done the next day i live...my house is clean but you can tell there are people living there...its not like out of a magazine...kids have always put toys away ...i think with a little kid your life might be kind of crazy until you get your schedule and way of doing things and having a clean houe is something you can totally controll while other stuff might not be the way you might want it to be all the time...i found cleaning always relaxing and having a clean house gave me a peace of mind but its not everything...

Cristina - posted on 04/17/2011

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There's nothing wrong with a clean house as long as your family is happy and you don't mind being the person cleaning. I don't clean very often. At the very most, I'll do a thorough cleaning once a week and sometimes only once every few months. I'll ask my husband to help me out every once in a while and sometimes the state of our place will drive me nuts if it's been a long while since we've cleaned. But I made a conscious decision with my two kids (ages 1.5 and 2.5 yo) that as a SAHM, I want to enjoy every moment with them. So I spend most of my time doing activities with them, going out with our friends, enjoying local parks and activities and I spend time for myself too. I go to the gym once a day while they are at the daycare. I try my best not to get overly obsessive about a perfect home because my mother is a neat freak and I have more childhood memories of her nagging and complaining about the state of our home, rather than her smiling and enjoying her children. I am so deathly scared of turning into this image that I make a conscious effort to avoid it as much as possible. But everyone's different I suppose so if it doesn't affect you negatively, than always having a clean home is a plus!!

April - posted on 04/17/2011

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I want my house to be clean, i've got an annoying habit where i want everything in the right place all the time and if it's not put in the right place i have to move it. I can't stand mess, i don't feel comfortable if i see it and trust me even though i'm taking care of two kids i WILL find a way to clean up all the mess around. My husband knows what i'm like and thankfully he doesn't just leave his things around, he's as much of a clean freak as me LOL so i think its safe to say that my house is pretty much clean all of the time. I'm weird like that LOL

Amber - posted on 04/17/2011

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i with shannin you are welcome to come here.. I clean everyday ONCE.. usually at nap time i pick up the toys, do the dishes, sweep throw in a couple loads of laundry and start dinner.. sometime even before my husband is home it looks like i have done NOTHING. My mom always says cleaning your house when the children are growing is like shoveling the walk when its still snowing

Camille - posted on 04/16/2011

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I'm the same way and i think I have a problem. To the point I yell at my daughters for two or three toys in the living room's floor. I believe it's a problem stay at home moms have. I believe if my only job is to stay at home with my girls, everything has to be perfect because if not, I'm a failure!!!

Amanda - posted on 04/15/2011

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I clean constantly as well!! A clean home is a happy home! Maybe because I was raised like that! But thats ok! :)

Geri - posted on 04/15/2011

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I used to be that way but I have made an effort to keep the house tidy and clean but obsess about it, its hard, but I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works out of town so I'm obsessively clean for my own personal reasons. I know how you feel not wanting to wake up to a mess (dishes, laundry, toys etc) but I have decided so long as the house is clean eg dirt on baseboards, toilets, counters, just general grime) I can handle the untidyness until I am in the mood to pick it all up) the toys and laundry and dishes and never ending. Do it when you feel like it not because you feel like you have too.I have decided to let my house be lived in. Its a struggle but I'm a happier person not obsessing over it

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2011

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Too funny. me too!!! i try and plan one project a day. but I cant ignore my kids for a clean house!!!

[deleted account]

I too have the same problem, but have always been like this. My mother still is too.. We have a housekeeper come in every week who thinks I am nerotic but then she goes to clean the house and sees what I see.. (old craftsmen with old wood windows that let all of the grime of so.California come in) she does the basic, bathroom, dust, etc. While I have to move all the beds and do the floorboards once a eek, mop floor by hand, wash walls and sconces, detail work. I feel that is all I do is clean and grocery shop. my husband has now sent me to therapy and that is one of the reasons. I just feel I can't do enough for the house, kids or him. If the house isn't clean, I am a failure. But we don't have tv so when our two kids are home from school, they get all of my attention. I stress early in the morning..



Normal? I don't know.. But I know I can't live in filth..

Kimberly - posted on 04/13/2011

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I am insane about a clean house. Truly. Now that there's 2 kids under 3 in my house, an ancient yet huge dog, and two cats, I find that adopting a 5 minute clean up routine throughout the day (6 times a day or so) is what keeps me from going postal. This way I can let things slide and spend time with my family knowing that I'll get to it eventually on one of my timed cleaning frenzies. Seriously set your timer, get your kids involved, and see just how much you can accomplish in 5 minutes.

Nina - posted on 04/13/2011

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I don't like to see a mess, but I never have the time to clean so as a result you see a lot of dust bunnies in our house. I have to get my kids out asap in the morning every morning otherwise they go bonkers. I manage laundry and dishes in the afternoon, but play with the kids as often as possible hence the dirty house. My advice is getting a cleaning lady once a week and forget about cleaning except for laundry and dishes. Make sure to get out and do some of your hobbies before you get burned out!!!!

Leah - posted on 04/13/2011

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getting out the house more offen does help alot to cause your not looking at the house

Rachel - posted on 04/13/2011

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Hi Danielle,
I know what you mean.
I am not an obsessed cleaner usually. I will leave some washing up and not hoover more than once a week sometimes. However, when I get up in the morning, I am like a machine. I change my 2 year old's nappy, go downstairs, give him his milk, run washing up water, load the dishwasher (from dinner), put the kettle on, recycle rubbish, let the dog out, put toast in, put eggs on, make tea, put a wash on. I hardly sit down in the day! I think it's probably pretty normal as you feel it is your job. I am starting to hoover the living room 3 times a week now.

Advice - hmm, let me think. Sit down with a cup of tea and look at the room your in. Does it look dirty? No? Then miss it out today! Try to relax. I don't know, it's a tough one (I'm rubbish at relaxing!).

Have a week end away (I just have) - you'll feel better for i! Lol.

Rachel x

Leah - posted on 04/13/2011

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i am starting to become obsessed with cleaning i hate seeing mess and i cant stand it so i clean alot i never used to be like it i have a 2 and half yr old too and his tos usually dont last long out in loungeroom etc and he prob has the cleanest toy ever lol.. but i thought mine was just because im pregnant i was told you get like that when pregnant so.. but i am same way i see dishes there i gotta clean them i see anything laying on the ground i pick it up i cant even stand to see something out of place my sons highchair was pulled out and my husband seen i had to push it into place and fit the placemats on the table before going to bed lol even the shower i have to have the shampoo etc all lined up etc i think getting bored has alot to do with it so you clean then u get so used to it u cant stand mess

Stifler's - posted on 04/13/2011

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Kash I don't think it's obsessive to not be able to tolerate mess. I can't tolerate trash, things everywhere, spills on benches left unwiped. That is normal! It's not normal to be like wiping the cupboard doors down every day, scrubbing the toilet every day, or obsessively following a toddler with a spray bottle of pine o cleen.

Janice - posted on 04/13/2011

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To answer your question in a word ... NO!!
We have a cleaner once a week to clean the bathroom, toilet, kitchen and hoover and mop the floor!!!
We do washing every day, but it doesnt always get sorted!!!
My OH and I see it that I'm a stay at home mum, not house wife, so my 'job' is to bring up our daughter!! My days are spent attending activities and playing with her! I'm expecting number 2 at the mo, so when she naps, I also take a nap!!
Our house isnt dirty, but it's not spotless!!! I think you'd call it lived in!!!!
Could you get some help in with the cleaning to lighten the load a bit??
Janice

Kash - posted on 04/13/2011

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You sound like me lol i just can't tolerate mess i hate it my kitchen sink has to be dried.... and now i have my 21 year old son doing it aswell.how sad is that eh!!

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2011

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Ha, I wish! I have a 10 month old and a 3 year old and my house is always a disaster! They keep me very busy. I had looked at flylady with hopes of becoming cleaner and more organized, but i just can't do it at this point. my baby is a terrible sleeper and i am lucky if i get 4 hours of sleep these days. the last thing i want to think about when i get a few minutes to rest is cleaning! they will grow up soon enough, and i'll have plenty of time to keep my house clean. right now, they need my attention more than my house does.

Lyn - posted on 04/13/2011

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I guess i'm obessed with house cleaning. I have 2 sons at home ages 4 and 7. They are constantly messing up and basically trashing the place. After the youngest goes to school i do a mad dash cleaning. I start while he is home so he can help out mostly he does the laundry piles to the washer for since i have trouble bending over. I do laundry M,W,F vacuum everyday, bathroom 5x a week ( i have guys with BAD aim so i have to), floors get scrubbed 3 times a week, dishes done EVERYDAY, dusting EVERYDAY, animal cages get cleaned 3 times a week, beds made every day, sheets washed 2x a week, windowsills cleaned everyday (we have bad allergies so i have to do it if the windows will be opened) Fridge gets cleaned out once a week and my cupboards get sorted once a week.That's my obession! I take saturday's and sundays to spend the day with my family.

Kelly - posted on 04/13/2011

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I gave up worrying about the state of the house a long time ago! I have a 5 and 3 year old and its hard to keep up with anything! I figure as long everything is sanitary, I'm doing enough. Laundry is daily, my husband does the kitchen. My kids like to be played with and do things together, which I'd much rather do than houseclean! And when I have a brak from the kids, the last thing I want to do is worry about stuff -- its important to take care of yourself, too! The kids are old enough to pick up after themselves with some nudging, so that's one thing I don't have to clean. I try to set one goal for myself each day -- a bathroom, vacuuming/sweeping, emptying the stairwell of everything that seems to accumulate there each week, etc.

Kiya - posted on 04/13/2011

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Dannielle,
Being a mum is hard work, don't stress about the house! I have two children, a huge house, and I run three businesses from home - I don't have time to worry about my house, however, the washing is done daily, the beds are made, kitchen is tidy, and generally the house is no more than 15 mins of work to be 'guest' ready. If you haven't already have a look at www.flylady.net I found this site three years ago, and found it was really useful for motivation and setting routines. Good luck, and I hope it helps - by the way - my house can be disasterous some days - but doesn't take long to get back on track - I just don't stress about it.

Hope this helps.
Kiya.

Tya - posted on 04/12/2011

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I am a SAHM and mama to 3. My oldest just turned 5 3 weeks ago, and my house is a swamp! It's hard to find enough hours in the day. We play, go outside, make craft projects, visit friends, and attend any event that we can. Yes, I do wish our house was cleaner, but they will soon enough all be in school and I'll have more time during the day to "catch up". In the meantime, life's short and we cherish every minute.

Vivalda - posted on 04/12/2011

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I'm the same way. I get up make coffee and milk for my 2 1/2 yr daughter . I sit to drink my coffee then I'm off. I do laundry vacuum everyday, and I'm always picking up toys and putting them away . I feel overwhelmed at times. Now I do as much as possible but I stop @2pm. I make dinner clean up then I'm done otherwise I won't stop.

Stephanie - posted on 04/12/2011

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I've tried to keep things clean especially when we bought our new house. After being here for a few months the weather was nice and I realized I kept telling my kids "in a minute" constantly. We rarely played outside because they are to young to go themselves and there is always work to be done inside. I eventually realized that I was spending more time cleaning than playing with my boys. Even when I did play with them I was cleaning. My kids are only little once and as my grandfather used to say "It ain't eatin nothing!" My priorities have changed. I keep things staight and disinfected but I only vacume when it needs to be and there is a good likely hood of finding dishes in the sink. I don't want people coming in my house thinking they aren't allowed to touch anything. We live here and I want my house to look "lived in."

Stephanie - posted on 04/12/2011

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I've tried to keep things clean especially when we bought our new house. After being here for a few months the weather was nice and I realized I kept telling my kids "in a minute" constantly. We rarely played outside because they are to young to go themselves and there is always work to be done inside. I eventually realized that I was spending more time cleaning than playing with my boys. Even when I did play with them I was cleaning. My kids are only little once and as my grandfather used to say "It ain't eatin nothing!" My priorities have changed. I keep things staight and disinfected but I only vacume when it needs to be and there is a good likely hood of finding dishes in the sink. I don't want people coming in my house thinking they aren't allowed to touch anything. We live here and I want my house to look "lived in."

Lori - posted on 04/12/2011

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Carlie--great point about letting the kids tackle some of the chores--I meant to slip that in there! Kids need to learn responsibility, and there are some great resources out there that recommend different chores for different ages. My husband's mother did EVERYTHING for her boys, and believe me, I see it in him as an adult. My brothers and I, on the other hand, were raised by a working mom who expected us to take part in household managment. They were great lessons learned.

Mayra - posted on 04/12/2011

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I know what you mean I have a 4 year old and it drives me nuts when she makes a mess around the house!

Carlie - posted on 04/12/2011

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Oh also, I am sure if you were on your death bed you would NEVER wish that your house was more tidy, but I'm sure wishing that you had more time to spend with your children, I know I would... put things into prespective

Carlie - posted on 04/12/2011

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Oh LOVE your poem joy!! I am going to write that out and frame that one on my wall!!!!

Carlie - posted on 04/12/2011

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well I have 4 kids ranging from 1yr to 7yrs old and I teach one day a week. I have always been a little 'lazy' when it comes to housework, but I am proud of my house. My husband always does the cleaning up after tea - which can be very messy as I am a very messy cook... I also have a chores 'wheel' which spins round each week for the older 3 children. Here they have 1 job for a week: unloading dishwasher, setting the table and helping make tea and clearing the table (also wiping after tea). They also put away their own washing (they have their own washing basket with their photo attached), make their own beds, tidy their rooms and help tidy the living area. They get pocket money for these jobs. I lux when it needs luxing (which with our carpet is generally every 1-2 days). My laundry is never up to date, but we do seem to always have clean washing in our drawers!! My bed I generally only make maybe 1-2 times a week. I know this sounds very unmotivated but I suppose I was brought up where mum 'did' all these jobs and I definately don't want that for my kids!! When they leave home (3 boys esp) I want them to be very independent especially with cooking as I didn't even know how to boil an egg when I left home!! I do though however when I leave the mess to long seem to get a bit stressed because then it seems too overwhelming! I would agree that you are going overboard if you are thinking about it too often and it is keeping you up late at night!! There is a fab website which helps you with just cleaning the little things each day - maybe use this to prioritise and having certain days for certain jobs so you are not doing EVERYTHING EVERY day??? Google: Fly Lady.com

Lori - posted on 04/12/2011

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Hi, Danielle! Give yourself a break, already! I feel a little guilty when I leave a few dishes in the sink or don't have time to make a bed, but my main concern is not so much having a spotless house, but a comfortable, inviting home. If it's to the point where your husband and children are afraid to leave things sitting out that make them feel comfortable (toys, for example, or a magazine) chances are you're going too far. Also, if you're staying up until 1-2 in the morning to clean and do laundry, you're burning your candle at both ends. Take some time for you, to relax and enjoy your home, instead of obsessing over it.

Kell - posted on 04/12/2011

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Nope - I refuse to obsess about it. Our flat is generally clean but often untidy through the day. I do a 15-minute blitz in each room every day, but do a "big clean" on in each room in daily rotation, so I'm never spending a long time on it. The dishes frequently get left till after teatime, as it seems pointless to take time out of doing activities with Xan to do something that will have to be done again very shortly - I'd prefer to do the dishes all at once while hubby bathes Xan (or vice versa). We do laundry through the day but I never iron anything, and, in fact, make a point of only buying clothes that don't need ot be ironed - it's such a time saver! Clothes just get washed, dried and put straight away - much easier!



We also get Xan involved in cleaning and tidying - he gets to run around with a feather duster, or help take the laundry out of the washing machine (or put it into the machine) and hang it on the airer. He also helps tidy away his own toys at mealtimes and before bed. I feel it's important, even at a very early age, to introduce the idea of cleaning up after themselves. Xan is 2 1/2 and he loves heping out! :)



We give the place a final blitz tidy when Xan goes to bed so we don't have to look at a total pigsty, but then the evening is our own and we chill out.

Danielle - posted on 04/12/2011

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Thank you all for your comments.

Pamela:
No, I don't have any pressure from my husband. Although, there are implications from extended family that my house should be tidy (obviously having more opportunity to clean it).

I also feel like, being the only SAHM within my circle of friends, that there is also higher exceptions from them as well for my house to be more presentable.

I guess it also stems from my own insecurities. I don't want guests wondering what I do all day, if my house is a mess.

I want to feel like I am contributing more to my family, and managing the house was another motivation for our decision to have myself stay home with our son.

I still play with my child. We go for daily walks to the park, read a book every night, color, and play.

I sweep after every meal, and after he is asleep. Laundry gets rotated during the day, and folded at night. Dishes are done in the afternoon after lunch, so then after super we just need to rinse and start the dishwasher. Vacuuming is done once every two-thee days in the afternoon (during nap time). Moping is done every other day after bedtime. Things like bathrooms are done once a week.

I still have plenty time to spend time with my son, and then clean throughout the day.

I was curious to what other stay-at-home mothers accomplished in their day so I have a starting point when considering my time management.
I wasn't asking to imply I was in competition with anyone.

The reason I asked the questions is because since becoming a stay-at-home mom I have started to care more about the overall cleanliness, and was wondering if I was the only one.

p.s) I don't use antibacterial products. I use warm water and the occasional drop of dish-soap.

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