Do you USE VINEGAR for Child Punishment?

Kyleigh - posted on 06/18/2011 ( 201 moms have responded )

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Ive heard many other moms on this other side who use vinegar for punishment. I surely wouldnt want "vinegar," in my mouth! I cant stand the smell of it alone without almost puking!
I think its very wrong to use that for punishment.
What do you all think??

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Jodi - posted on 06/21/2011

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I don't know why we are debating which is better than the other. Personally I think it is all an abuse of power and totally unnecessary. We have managed to raise children between the ages of 6 and 19 so far without EVER having to resort to any of that. Why can't you?

Jane - posted on 06/19/2011

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I've never heard of using vinegar to punish a child. I certainly wouldn't do it in part because vinegar is an important component in many foods, including salad dressing, pickles, and more. I would not want my child to link punishment with any particular healthy food.

In general, I don't follow the cause the kid pain kind of punishment. It was never necessary to use it with my daughter because talking about it and time out always worked on her. However, it rarely worked on my son (except when he was still biting at age 7).

So a punishment that doesn't work, causes pain, and could bias the recipient against certain foods? I don't think so.

[deleted account]

No. Wouldn't use it. That's disgusting. I would never do something to my child that I wouldn't do to myself.

Sarah - posted on 07/12/2011

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I am actually a little shocked. If a child is so naughty parents need to resort to silly punishments (that will cause resentmenet from the child in the long run) like vinegar or soap in the mouth...well, I think its the parents who should get a good dose of "how to be a parent". That type of punishment is outdated and does not work and will only cause resentment and maybe even lack of respect as the child grows older...yeah it might start to obey, but will the child love and trust you completly. I doubt it! And that in itself causes problems once the child becomes a teenager and are faced with "the real world" and the problems attached to it. But, each to there own. Its the kids I feel sorry for.

Delia - posted on 06/23/2011

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It sounds like control based on fear and coercion rather than helping your child to internalize the lesson and exerting self control.

You can do it while they're young and smaller than you, but once they become teenagers, you'll find controlling them to be much harder. Good luck with that.

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Nikki - posted on 07/23/2011

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i personally think that is a form of abuse. if an adult forced vinegar into another adults mouth it would be an offence - how could anyone think it's acceptable to do to a child. disgusting.

Krystal - posted on 07/20/2011

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I do not agree with using any kind of soap, chemical, or even vinegar to punish your kids. I think it's a form of abuse in my opinion. I think if you set limits with your kids and if they do not listen to you, then you should use the techniques like the "naughty spot" as Supernanny calls it. There should never be a reason to use anything on your kids, harmful or not, there is always another way to get your kids to listen. But that is just my opinion

[deleted account]

oh and ange am disappearing from thread but if ever want to vent please feel free to pmme. definitely don't know all the answers but would be happy to chat if you ever want to. mom's helping other mom's. someone (on net) said that to me once and I liked it.

[deleted account]

thanks jodi.
and ange agree with jennifer. well done! is hard to keep trying to figure what is making them tick and what to change. soo hard. one thing though...she is obviously very loved or you wouldn't be working so hard. that counts for a lot!

[deleted account]

thanks jodi.
and ange agree with jennifer. well done! is hard to keep trying to figure what is making them tick and what to change. soo hard. one thing though...she is obviously very loved or you wouldn't be working so hard. that counts for a lot!

Jodi - posted on 07/19/2011

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@ Vicki, if you go to the "Options" button above the OP and click on it, you will see a link to click that says Un-subscribe :)

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2011

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Well done for trying and looking into alternatives ways of Woking things out. It would be easy to give up and you haven't done that. Hope it all works out for you

Ange - posted on 07/19/2011

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yup in the situation my step daughter is in right now it is hard for her and us and trying very hard to change things here for her

[deleted account]

Ange I don't think you have anything to apologize for at all. You weren't rude. You just wanted some support and didn't want to post publicly. The beauty of com. Making connections when we need them. And even if I think strongly about certain things, believe me I have turned to people on here for support on so many things I try and figure out so many times. Wishing all the best for you.

Ange - posted on 07/19/2011

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I just want to apologize for getting up tight with people there I am just frustrated with my step daughter's attitude and that we have tried everything with her we are now looking at the real problem and listening to what our daughter is saying to us and some more discussion with Jennifer I am hoping to figure something out so my apologies to everyone

Toni - posted on 07/19/2011

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I've tried it, but my child likes Vinegar so it didn't help, but it's not harmful. Lot safer than soap.

Mel - posted on 07/19/2011

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That sounds barbaric... for what purpose is the vinegar used? If its for swearing then I would sternly explain that it is a naughty word, mummy doesn't say it and neither should you as it makes mummy sad to hear you talking like that. I have a few words that I use if i need to express myself loudly and none are vulgar so therefore if one of my children was to use these words then I have no objection. They are young and are trying to express themselves, angry, saad, annoyed etc.

Stifler's - posted on 07/18/2011

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I use vinegar in the rinse of all my laundry. Gets lint off anything black.

Sharon - posted on 07/18/2011

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only thing i use vinegar for is my cloth diapers...like in the final rinse

[deleted account]

btw anyone know how to stop getting notices about a thread? can't figure it out. please pm me if you do know. thanks.

[deleted account]

I agree...and sadly this thread can go on and on and on as there seem to be people that no matter how many threads there are or even groups as I believe jennifer linked there are talking about positive approaches...they maintain they are not doing harm or abusing their children. too bad. big world out there are we help build the future with and for our children. I'm done here. good luck to all moms coming here to look for different approaches. I am glad to see people always trying to better things for themselves and their children. and commend you for doing so. sincerely I do.

[deleted account]

I see no connection to how it gives a physical example of the harm words can do. hot sauce or vinegar can't speak. there is no logic there. and can be harmful as many people have pointed out that vinegar can be dangerous to tooth enamel. hot sauce can make a child sick. positive words give a physical example. or ignoring same as child wants attention negative or positive. ignore it and eventually it stops with young children. older children can comrehend words. not degrading approches to punishments.

Cyndel - posted on 07/17/2011

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it is a non violent, non harmful way to discipline a child. I personally wouldn't commit the same offense myself for a very long time had that been a punishment my parents used on me. And i like the hot sauce on an older child for verbal offenses non violent, non harmful... but gives a physical example of the harm words can do.

[deleted account]

and jennifer thank you for posting that link. just joined and look forward to checking it out.

[deleted account]

Ange I'm sorry if it was my response that made you uncomfortable. I meant it sincerely when I said I applaud you. I hope for the best for you and give you credit for wanting the best for your stepdaughter. sincerely.

Amie - posted on 07/16/2011

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Yes it's wrong. Bodily integrity. I don't spank or put anything in their mouths to "teach them a lesson". I can teach without resorting to bully tactics.

Jenni - posted on 07/16/2011

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You can send me a PM on here. I can try my best to give you some advice on it.

Ange - posted on 07/16/2011

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Jennifer is another way we can talk alittle more private I am not comfortable anymore talking in this group right now... do you have facebook I would like to talk more to you as you seem to know about this then I do I am going by with research and what I know about my daughter which is actually my Step daughter I know the root of the behavour problem but it is along story and I don't want it on here I posted bits and pieces before but not the full thing

Jenni - posted on 07/16/2011

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Ange, this may help if you feel like venting your frustrations or you are seeking support:



http://www.circleofmoms.com/positive-beh...



"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."



Do you know who said that?



Socrates.



Youth rebelling is nothing new to this day and age. Like toddlers in the tenacious twos, teens are fighting a natural battle for independence from their parents. And ummmm, all the ugliness that goes with that. ;)



Teens who are running the streets at all hours are doing so because their parents allow it. As parents we often have to repeat measures of discipline 100x before it sinks in. Before we see results. I do not believe many behaviours can be nipped in the bud unless you find the underlying root of the problem and attack that.



Children need to know what to expect. They need parents who model appropriate behaviours and demeaners. They need clear boundaries and what to expect if they cross those boundaries. They need their positives focused on... if we continually critisize and point out their flaws, what does that do to a person?



Eventually, they feel they are a 'bad' person, so why bother trying to make positive choices. A balance has to be achieved, of building positive character through natural rewards for accomplishments and addressing negative behaviours followed by negative consequences that fit the crime.



There are many situations that can cause children to habitually engage in negative behaviours. One that I feel is the most common is lack of involvement of the parent(s). A child does not care if they receive negative or positive attention as long as they are receiving attention. Ensuring your child is kept busy engaging in positive activities and is receiving the required attention needed by both parents is often a big deterent to negative behaviours.

"Idle hands are the devil's plaything."



A positive parent rubs off on a child. A negative parent turns the child negative. And children, like us adults, are not perfect. We should not set them to expectations higher than we set expectations for ourselves.

[deleted account]

Ange I totally get the frustration. I am sooo frustrated now with 20 month twins testing me sooo much every day. I applaud you for not wanting to spank or put crap in her mouth. the problem is that it is so frustrating but she sounds like she is testing her limits and really that sounds typical. they test, and want to push us because they want to and need to know what is ok and what is not ok. and it takes repetitive times over and over again and tons of patience from us that can be so hard to find at times. how old is she?

Ange - posted on 07/16/2011

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well I haven't found a positive way to discipline my child.... cause taking stuff that she loves away from her does not work on her sitting her down and explaining her actions that are wrong doesn't work at all I can yell at her until I am blue in the face that don't work either with her it is like talking to a wall you get more of a reaction from a wall then you do this child of mine... she doesn't care about the consequences of her actions she still pulls the same stuff all the time over and over again she knows whats right and whats wrong but she does it any how.... I have tried all the positive ways we don't spank her we don't put sour liquids in her mouth but that is about the only thing that we haven't tried... as much as I love my daughter and as much as I DO NOT WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS we are trying something else first right now and we will see how that goes... YES I know it won't work over night so we will give it time.... but if that don't work what then do I let her go wild and let her do what she wants to do any ways... I ABSOLUTELY THINK NOT there are to many damn kids out there that run their parents and are on the streets at all times of the day and night

[deleted account]

yes someone said there are multiple books and even public health places put out for free brochures/literature on methods of positive parenting and disciplining. when I was in school the profs didn't even call it discipline. they called it guiding and caring. cause isn't that what we are supposed to be doing? guiding our children toward positive and pro-social behaviours while caring for them?! I figure if I swore at someone and they put anything in my mouth I'd want to tell them to fuck right off. or maybe I'd fear them and not say anything. yeah...that's what we want? our kids to fear us?

Natasha - posted on 07/16/2011

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I've used vinegar with my oldest. It seemed nothing else would work to make him stop sassing, so I took an Infant Tylenol dispenser, filled it to the first measurement and squirted it in his mouth. It's not harmful, like soap, and tastes nasty enough to get the point across. I had to resort to this again not too long ago, but, since he likes pickles now, it lost its effect. I don't see anything wrong with it. If it doesn't harm them and it works for you and your child, I say do what you have to do.

Jennifer - posted on 07/15/2011

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Vinegar is a food stuff. Yes you can eat it and I won't do you any harm. It's the fact that it and other substances are being used for physical punishment is what I have the problem with. What is the next step up from this? Where do you draw the line?

Lisa - posted on 07/15/2011

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Vinegar isn't harmful. When you eat a pickle, you're eating vinegar. I'd prefer to have vinegar than a bar of soap in my mouth. Vinegar does taste horrible but it's not going to harm them. Actually I have acid reflux and GERD so bad that when my Prilosec can't calm it, I drink a little vinegar. It's disgusting but it works!

Charleen - posted on 07/14/2011

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well it wouldnt work on my kids because they love vinegar and sour stuff so no i wouldnt use it they would like it hahaha but no i dont think vinegar should be used it can eat away the enamel on the kids teeth if used consitently

Jenn - posted on 07/14/2011

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I don't put nasty crap in my 7 year old daughter's mouth. That is a stupid, lazy parenting move. Sorry, but it is. It was done to me and did NOTHING to teach me a lesson, It was just a mean way for my parent's to punish me. I didn't respect them, I feared them which led to many years of poor communication and resentment between us.

What works for my daughter? Well, privileges taken away...no TV, no toys, no friends, etc. Time by herself, in her room, away from the family and their activities. She comes out, we restart the timer. Writing sentences. She hates that but at least I'm not putting my hands on her, yelling at her or shoving nasty sh*t in her mouth.

My mother did the bar of soap in my mouth for lying and I threw up...which I then got in trouble for. Who honestly thinks that putting SOAP or something hot or extremely sour in a child's mouth is going to be discipline? Does it give a parent some sick satisfaction that they one-upped their kid by doing something to them?

I hate when people say..."well, TODAY'S kids...blah blah blah" Every freaking generation says that!

Know your kid. Know how your kid thinks. Then apply that to the discipline they recieve. Life has consequences. Those consequences need to TEACH the child right from wrong. Not merely give them a few minutes of suffering for their actions. Where's the lesson in that? Oh yeah, don't get CAUGHT next time.

Jennifer - posted on 07/14/2011

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There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Every child needs to be disciplined to teach them what is acceptable behaviour. They test your boundaries. They need to find out where they are and that you care. Being a mother/father is easy. Being a parent is hard work. There are numerous books on positive parenting out there.

[deleted account]

everyone's child will do it repeatedly (fall down and get back up and do it again and fall down again). it's how the parents handle it that plays a part of natural consequences. language used and tones of voice. etc. as well as speaking in a manner that is developmentally appropriate. I think that is why so many people have a problem finding it to be effective. while vinegar and spankings may be effective immediately (although I highly doubt it works on the first try...if it did I'd be extremely concerned at exactly how the child was spanked or how much substance was put in the mouth) it is a progression. and parents often don't get that. or have the patience for that. sucks but still abuse. parenting is frustrating no doubt but abuse is inexcusable. and abuse it is.

Ange - posted on 07/14/2011

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and that is why today's society is gone to hell and the kids/teens are running the joint cause ppl do not believe in spankings and punishing their children where I live this is the way of the town teenage kids running wild cause either parents do not care or parents care but do not believe in any kind of punishment for their children and another is people stare and glare at the parents that actually do care and start to punish their child in public.... I was spanked as a child if I done something wrong or if I acted like these kids do nowadays and I am better for it there is nothing wrong with me I know a few others that were the same and they are better for it as well never hurt them just put us in our place as kids at least we learnt respect the kids nowadays have no respect not even to their parents but hey this is child abuse.... but there is no other way to get your point across unless you do something derastic (sorry not spelled right) My child has no reaction to our punishments we yell at her she don't care, we talk to her about it she don't care, we take things away from her she don't care we did a reward chart she don't care she sits on time out she don't care so Jennifer how do you get through to a child of 7 years old who don't care about your punishments? Oh another thing is positive reengorcments don't work either.... she doesn't have ADHD so you can rule that out......

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