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Does anyone else feel isolated and lonely from being a stay at home mom?

Jessica - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

10

0

I'm a stay at home mom of a 2 and 3 year old. During the day I have no one to talk to. All the stay at home moms around me home school and are very cliquey. They stay in their little groups and I am never invited to anything. They are all super religious to the pint of extreme, so I feel completely left out when they do talk to me. All the other moms I know work and they shun me. We all live in the same neighborhood and I don't fit into any category. I feel very isolated and lonely and am starting to feel depressed. I love my children and feel very blessed to stay at home with them. I am worried that they will not get to socialize much because I am never invited to play-dates or events... Also, Some of the stay at home moms in my neighborhood let their toddlers and kids run around unsupervised. They trash property and get lost ( we've had two search parties). I have to watch after some of these kids. These moms starting calling me an "old lady" behind my back.. I'm 28! any advice?

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Carol - posted on 07/05/2012

343

6

Is there a park you can go to? Or story time at the library? A non-extreme playgroup? Keep being an old lady and watch your kids. Kids will understand boundaries, so if you let the neighborhood vagrants (aka unsupervised toddlers and kids) know that they can't destroy your property they will listen. If they don't then send a bill and the broken stuff to the parents.

We didn't fit into our neighborhood either because we were old when we had our kids - as in not 16 year olds. We waited until 27. We were called stupid because my husband went to college and I was going to college - "There are perfectly good jobs out there without wasting your time and money on college." Those jobs in town went down to 32 or 24 hours and most of the town not already voluntarily on welfare were forced into it. We were called stupid for never trying drugs because "we didn't know what we were missing." It wasn't just one family. It was the norm. I was told to tell my 6 year old the birds and the bees (by his pediatrician!) because the preteens were having sex. Despite the majority being very different from what I wanted as friends, there were plenty of people that I could relate to and were awesome. It just took a while to find them. Church, scouts (when they're older), school are good places to find some great people.

We moved because of a job transfer. Now the majority of our neighbors have gone to college. At least 6 families pointed out the druggie house in the neighborhood as a point to steer clear of. We're about the average age. The kids have a load of friends in and out all day all over the neighborhood. It's just about perfect.

If you ever move ask and notice the things you love and hate. It'll change as your kids get older. Pay attention to the schools, along with the neighborhoods.

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