Does anyone else get sick of being super mum?

Holly - posted on 02/04/2009

omg yes. we have 4 kids, I homeschool our oldest. (6.5) my youngest are twins. My husband is a work-a-holic. Don't you love it when (if you're able) you go on vacation and nothing changes except it's harder becuase you need to figure out where to do all hte same stuff without have your stuff.

Mandy - posted on 02/04/2009

I have come to realize that it is ok to take time for me. I have 3 girls they are 6yrs, 3yrs and 9 months. I recently have been depressed and frustrated. I have just decided that I will just ask for help it is ok if you need help. Everyone needs help every now and then. Do you have any family close that can help once and a while? Plus I have learned that whatever I can do around the house I will do but I try not to stress about it too much. I have made up like a chore list so like on Mondays I do most of the laundry and fold it, do the dishes, run the sweeper and clean the bathroom, then Tuesday I usually finish the laundry, if any, and get it put away before the weekend this is my least favorite chore. Try spreading out what needs done and then maybe you won't feel so overwhelmed. Don't feel alone we all have our moments and that is ok. Good luck with your pregnancy. Hope this helps.

Priscilla - posted on 02/02/2009

No Way! You definitely need time for yourself. We need to re-charge! I only have a 3 1/2 yr old boy who is very active, so it's like I have 3 kids plus my husband who is another kid..lol..I multi-task as much as i can, but some days i dont care. it's not being selfish at all. I take my hat off to you!

Rebecca - posted on 02/01/2009

I have 4 kids at home and I don't remember the last time I had time alone. My kids are 9,9,10, and 16 months. It never stops. I pretty much know I wont get time for me for another 18 years. My husband and I need to start a countdown. With you being pregnant right now, Im sure that adds to you being so exhausted. Dont feel bad for feeling annoyed. We all feel like that. But we all love our families and we will wake up and still keep doing it. One day they will grow up and take care of us! (we hope haha)

Carolyn - posted on 02/01/2009

I agree with everyone else here, once in a while we all need a break.  My sister lives about a 45 min drive away and it currently home on maternity leave with her second child.  She takes my little guy for me once in a while and it`s nice.  We just do a kid swap once in a while, however right now it only goes in 1 direction as we don't live in a very big place right now so it's not easy having my niece over. Our 3 children are 2 years and 2 weeks apart, her 2 girls on each end and my  little guy right in the middle.  My son loves it at auntie`s house.  He was supposed to go to auntie`s for a sleepover the one day and come back the next evening, but things got changed around and he ended up just going for part of the day.  I was a little dissapointed, i was looking forward to him going for a sleep over.  I'm really looking forward to my weekend off here in a few days, for valentine's day.  My husband works at a hotel that has a sports tournement on, wedding and a fully booked resturant for valentine's day and I'll be helping out at my friend's resturant down the street all day.  I know better then to try and book a sitter 5 days before valentine's day, but that's all the notice we'll have for my husband's schedule.  So instead I called my mom who said she was more then happy to take him.  She's picking him up on friday afternoon and bringing him back on sunday just before lunch.  I can't remember the last time my son was even gone over night, nevermind 2 nights.  It's going to be great!

Kristy - posted on 02/01/2009

I use to feel the same way! I think everyone does at some point.What my husband and I did to change it is once a week (sundays) I go out for a few hours alone for some "me time". Even if its an hour at chapters with a starbucks, it just makes me feel that much better!

Lynne - posted on 02/01/2009

One more thing I have learned over the years, leave the husbands at home and let them take care of the kids in their own way. it might not be what you would do, but at least it is not you doing it.

As for the cleaning, laundry, dishes and all the other stuff. who ever said we had to be super mommies.....as long as you do two basket of clothes every day there will always dirty ones and cleaned ones. I do what i can do in one day without stressing myself about what others would think. dust will always be there, evern 5 seconds after you dusted. I love BINS, there are a lot of gorgeous one that can match every household, have them everywhere, fill them with toys, magazines, papers, clothes, see this way not much is lying around. Dishwashers fill them up at night/day and empty in the morning.

DONT FORGET WE MUST COME FIRST HEALTH MENTALY AND PHYSICALY. if we are sick they manage....well they can manage any other time of the year

Lynne - posted on 02/01/2009

we all go thru this at one point or another. You need to schedule time just for yourself, everyday, a long bath after the kids are asleep and before the better half. It could be a hobby, a walk, exercise, etc...

Also every 3 months go away for a weekend. That helps wonders, even just one over night, it does a lot to rejuvenate.

Every November my girlfriends and I go to Toronto for a shopping trip, dont need to spend much, but it is time away from the family. Every September I celebrate my birthday with 10other women go on a camping trip. Talk about letting go emotions and frustrations......

3 times a week I go to Curves, just time for myself and mingles with other women.

You are not alone, 90% of us women feel the same

Orla - posted on 01/31/2009

i was just readingwhat Debbie Ferrin wrote,i thought i was alone with partners like that...i have 2 boys with my partner 18mths & 10wks but i also have 5 step kids 16, 13, 11, 9, 4... thats just the way he is only i don't get time at all 2 myself...when he left 2 look after the kids he doesn't have a clue what 2 do...i go 2 the supermarket 2 get food he's on the fone askin when im comin hme, i know he works hard & all but so do i ifnot harder then him & he thinks i sit at home doing nothing but watch tv & sleep when i get the chance. Y do they get on like that????

Liana - posted on 01/31/2009

I'm glad I'm not alone and this thread has helped others as well.  It is the case with me that when I do sit down I start to think of all the other things I should be doing it drives me mad.  My partner does his best but works long hours in the week and he needs a break to.  I'm sure it will improve as the kids get older though.  I just need to remember that there is nothing wrong with having a break.

Harmonie - posted on 01/30/2009

Your post an everyones replyies made me feel better today!! I have 3 boys and 2 are in school I feel guilty when my little one takes his nap and I have a cup of tea and get on the computer but I know I really need that time!!! Thanks for posting this!!

Courtney - posted on 01/30/2009

I am right there with you! I have 4 kids the old one will be 5 in Feb. and the youngest is 6 months old. I am with my kids round the clock. I love my kids very much, as well as my other half, However I need me time too. I never get to "run away" even for 10 minutes. there is always something to do, a child that needs a boo boo kissed ect. I completely understand you. I do not even get much of a break if any when my husband gets home from work. And on his days off forget it. Sometimes I feel like I am a single Mom who does not have to work out side the house.

Jill - posted on 01/30/2009

Me too, and I have just one peanut (and I''m not pregnant). I could have written your post, I swear!



I'm sitting here at my computer writing this while my baby is napping. All the while I"m thinking that I really should be sorting laundry, or getting lunch started, but I just want to do NOTHING.



Here's how I talk myself out of it. This is a temporary season. We've got little babies who need our attention 24/7, but pretty soon they'll be going to school.



I also make time for myself at a mom's group every Monday AM. We have 2 homeschooled teenage girls who come and watch the kids for us while we chat. Connecting with other ladies makes me feel a lot better than doing nothing by myself. But then again, I'm a total extrovert! :)



You are totally not alone.

Liana - posted on 01/30/2009

Thank everyone for the replies it is nice to know I'm not alone :)  As to the work from home thing it really isn't for me I have enough to do :) I think I'm just going to have to send the kids and their Dad off for a day of bonding and just relax.

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2009

Take a day for yourself at the SPA once in awhile you will be amazed at how rejuvenated you will feel!  I work from home and have 2 small children that I homeschool, I know just how you feel.  I show other moms how to stay at home and earn great income so they have money to visit the spa and get out of the house with the kids.  www.WorkatHomeUnited.com/JOBS has improved my life in so many ways.  Blessings to you!

Amanda - posted on 01/30/2009

Your are not alone, I have an advantage in that my husband works offshore for 4-6 weeks at a time, then is home for 2 weeks. It gives me the 'me' time I need at night after the kids are in bed.

When he was working a local job and was home every night I would take a few hours on the weekend where he could watch the kids (take them to a movie, the park etc) and I could either just lay around and do nothing, take a hot bath or go to Barnes & Noble with my recent book in tow and sip coffee & lounge around there. I seemed to be better about not cleaning the house when I left the house, so I would usually aim for that.

There is nothing wrong with taking me time. When I was working full time I felt so guilty of the time I didn't spend with my kids that I never took any time for myself. I landed myself in a hospital after a nervous breakdown and my therapist explained it best:

Moms are like firetrucks, there are little fires all over the place and we go rushing around to take care of all of them. But sometimes we run low on gas. If we stop to refuel then we can continue and even be happy, but we frequently forget to refuel and end up getting out and pushing the firetrucks to the fires, leaving ourselves in bad health and things left undone that we normally would be able to accomplish, and ourselves feeling guilty for not taking care of them.

Mandy - posted on 01/30/2009

i know how you feel i am a mom of 3 i have a 5yr old 3yr old and 2yr old so you aren't alone in the world there are lots of women in this world and some mom'S are worse of then us that's what i think about sometimes i have to because if i don't and i think i'm the only one i get depressed and i love my family,my husband and my kids very much but i would so like to myself i just keep myself going by thinking that one day they will all be in school and that makes me very happy lol lol

Cindy - posted on 01/30/2009

You are not alone!  I have 3 kids, too.. 8,5 and 3.  I love my  kids dearly, but it can get so exhausting.  My 3 year old thinks she's 16, so while the older 2 are at school, I still have to find ways to work on her attitude. I can't even figure out where it came from, let alone how to fix it!  During the day here with her, I do laundry, wash dishes, clean house, play with her etc, etc...then when the other 2 get home from  school, it's homework and trying to stop them from fighting! (They are 3 years apart but may as well be twins) I do have a wonderful husband that helps with housework and with the kids when he's home...but sometimes I just need a break. For me.  By myself. Alone. Granted, it rarely happens.. but when it does, I have learned to let go of the guilt and enjoy it. It  makes me a much more pleasant mother and wife when I get a break every now and then!

Debbie - posted on 01/30/2009

You're definitely not alone. I have a 10 year old stepson, a 7 year old daughter, and a 15 month old daughter. I'm home with the 15 month all day and then at 2:30 the other two come home and I'm off helping with homework, keeping them not fighting, and such like that. When my husband comes home he just wants time to himself for a bit since he "works" and I wonder ... when's my time? I have forced him though to watch the kids while I went upstairs to read but he usually holds it over my head for a few days that he had to take care of everything for a hour or so.

Joanne - posted on 01/30/2009

No your not alone i have 3 kids 9,8,and 2 like you i adore my family but my day is hectic.The list of jobs to be done every day is sometimes endless and when i do get a chance to sit my little one chooses to want something so i'm up, down,up,down.It would b nice tostay in bed and not have to jump up and start rushing around, then i feel totally guilty when i snap at one of the older kids when they come home from school.Ifeel i have become the mum i didn't want to b,you can feel unappreciated easily .Yet ,i know my life would b empty without my kids it would b nice to have a little me time sometimes.Ithink this must b how a lot of mums feel and i think we are allowed to its not an easy job that we do but we do it because we love our kids.