Does anyone have an idea of how I can get my 9 year old and my 6 year old to have more responsibility? Chores? Allowances? What are some ideas or ways that I can get them to do them?

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Casey - posted on 06/06/2011

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A chore chart is a great idea. We have kiddos ranging in age from 11 yrs old to 14 months. They ALL have chores, ranging according their age and capability. If they are big enough to pull toys out, they are big enough to put them away. They understand from a young age that making our home an efficient, pleasant and fun place to be takes everyone doing their part. And there is nothing wrong with occasionally reminding them that YOU are the parent and ultimate authority. They need to help out because you asked them to....it's part of respecting and honoring your parents.

Jondy - posted on 11/25/2008

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My sister has a chore board. Each childs name with their list of chores: making their bed, cleaning their room, vaccuuming, etc. They check it off as they complete their task. When they ask to do something- Can I go play outside, watch a show, etc- she simply has to say are your chores done? Allowances are great you can then start to teach them about budgeting their money. I would just be careful getting into the rewards/bribes. You want to teach you children responsibilty. Responsibilty is not always fun but we do it sometimes for no other reason than pride in a job well done or so we can be able to enjoy a clean space without tripping over toys. Anyways you don't want to create what are you going to give me to do this attitude but a yes mommy obedient attitude. My 3yr old is responsible for putting the clean silverware away, and cleaning up at the end of the day. I need to add more. It is also great to include them in what you are doing, bonding time for conversations about their day and thoughts- fold laundry together, load the dishwasher, dust, etc.

Christy - posted on 11/25/2008

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I just found handipoints, its really fun, the kids love it. Its either free, but you can not use your "bonus" points, unless you pay the monthly fee... www.handipoints.com Its very easy to use, nothing to download, and you can use it from any computer... the kids can buy things with their points, such as extra computer time, picking a meal and so on...

[deleted account]

I haven't reached that yet with my own son (he's only 11 months), but I was a nanny before I got married. The best way to teach responsibility in my opinion is to set up a reward system. Make up a chart of chores you would like them to do around the house and assign different chores everyday or every week. Then when the chores are done, have them put up something like a sticker next to it. After 'earning' so many stickers they get to choose a special reward like either 30 minutes of video games, a day off from chores in which mom or dad have to do (kids love that one!), etc. For example, if a child has 4 chores a day = 24 stickers (based on a 6 day week), the rewards could be something like as follows:



4 stickers = a piece of bubble gum or candy

10 stickers = 30 minutes of video games

20 stickers = their favorite dessert after dinner

24 stickers = a surprise toy (of mom or dad's chosing)

48 stickers = a day off from chores



I think using a reward system is the best because it not only teaches the responsibility, it also gives them control over the rewards because they can either choose to use their reward the day they do the chores or save up for something better by doing chores several days without reward. If they don't do the chores, they don't get any stickers which in turn means no rewards. You can do the same thing and use money and either pay them daily or weekly. Good luck either way!

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Ricarda - posted on 11/25/2008

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I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old so they aren't responsible for much but I get them to help me with lots of different things around the house they help me clean up their toys unload the dishwasher and because I clean just about everything with vinegar instead of windex they even help me wash mirrors and windows. I'm fortunate that my kids want to help right now and I'm hoping that by letting them participate in as much as I can they will continue to help as they get older.

[deleted account]

A friend of mine uses beans. She has a chore chart and a privileges chart. Each chore earns them a certain number of beans and each privilege requires a certain number of beans to buy that privilege. Now if they choose not to do any chore...it still has to be done. They can't do just enough to get their TV show or whatever they want. So they then have to pay Mom double the number of beans to get her to complete the chore for them. This also teaches them that it always costs more to have someone else do it for you.

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