Does the stay at home mom routine ever make you ladies moody and kind of sad?

[deleted account] ( 88 moms have responded )

I kind of miss making working and interacting with different people that aren't in the family. Seeing my husband struggling sometimes makes me sad.

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Jennifer - posted on 09/23/2009

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The hardest part it that when hubby comes home he wants to relax since he worked all day. But you want a brake too(even if he doesn't realize that what you do IS WORK) Make sure if you go grocery shopping....GO ALONE. It's a great brake. While your out go by a store where most people don't take kids and just walk around and look at things you like. You don't have to buy anything but that little bit of you time makes a difference. Playdates can be hard 1. Finding people you have things in common with can be hard. 2. It can get expensive depending on where you meet. I hate going to some peoples houses cause I feel a lot of them aren't clean enough for my standards. I don't want my baby crawling on a dirty floor. I don't know where you live but I live in Portland Oregon and there is a place called Me Too Cafe. You pay like $3 for your child to go in a supervised room where they can play with other kids and you get to sit in a nice comfy area with other moms and drink coffee and mingle. You can see your kids and watch them but you don't have to worry about them. The $3 is for all day too. You don't even have to be mingling. You can take a book you've been wanting to read and if the person watching your kid needs you they'll call. You should check to see if you have any places like that.

Michelle - posted on 09/21/2009

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I have been a stay at home mom for 5 1/2 years now.my 4 & 5 yr old are in school so its just me and my 4 month old at home. I dont really mind being by myself during hte day. Its the constant house work that gets to me sometimes. My husband is not the type to give me crap though if the house is a bit messy when he comes home and he cooks dinner and does the dishes sometimes. I moved to a new state 1 1/2 years ago and I still have yet to meet people I can hang around with. Although I am only 26 I am a very responsable mom and I do not curse in front of my kids or let them galavant around the neighborhoood alone. I cannot seem to find mothers out there who are like that. I am not a partier either so its sometimes sad to not be able to have a girls night out or something. I enjoy what I do, though. I think staying at home with my kids is one of the best things I can do for them. They are my whole world.

Amanda - posted on 09/19/2009

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I feel the same way! I also would like to talk to someone over the age of four for a change!! I too feel bad watching my hubby work his 13 hour days.

Bethany - posted on 09/19/2009

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Yes, I get moody about it sometimes. I'm naturally an introverted, alone-type person, so usually don't mind the solitude. But once in a while I start to miss working (I was a small-town waitress for several years) and all the fun interactions that came with it. And I miss the immediate cash flow that comes with working in a busy restaurant.



Don't have many suggestions about how to cope with it. My husband and I will go out on group dates sometimes, so I get social interaction there. Of course, we go on regular dates too. :) I'll take my daughter downtown to the square just to be around people, or to a park or store. But it's not quite the same.



So, I guess I really understand that feeling, but am not sure about how to deal with it in a healthy way.

Alex - posted on 09/21/2009

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I just stop and think: "I felt much worse at the job I hated, not making that much money, and missing my baby" I luckily have a good friend who also stays home, so we can talk on the phone, or get together with our kids, when we need some adult conversation. another thing that has helped, I work part time a few nights and some on the weekends. I get to get out of the house, and it gives us just enough extra money to be comfortable and not completely, flat broke, lol.

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Sherry - posted on 09/23/2009

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I worked before I had children and after and when I was working I felt guilty for not being there when my daughter was very young. Now I am not working, my girls are grown and wish I was back at work around people. It's hard for everyone especially when it affects your cash flow but enjoy the time at home with your children while they are young because when they leave the nest (or possibly before) you can always go back to work. Daycare is very expensive today. :)

Kym - posted on 09/23/2009

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I think its hard sometimes to be at home. We own our own business and my husband will work from daylight till dark, come home around 11 pm and work on bids or whatever. I try to help where I can, but just don't know what he does. I've offered to help work with him and be the goffer now that the kids are in school.Its hard for me to watch him work all day and stay up all night just to keep us alive. I could feel guilty

Melanie - posted on 09/23/2009

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I waitress a couple nights a week, but still consider myself to be a stay at home mom b/c I'm her primary care giver. I still get frustrated and sad sometimes because I can't get together with friends like I used to, or even keep my house as clean as I would like. I'm also a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant and I've found that that allows me time to be with women in a positive environment without the stress of home. I've made some great friends there, and I'm so glad I'm back in the atmosphere.

Corina - posted on 09/23/2009

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Any job requires sacrifice and compromise: SAHMs do it ten fold! For me, the moodiness always means I need to change up my routine. Whether more backyard/park time, or going to the playplace at the mall or making a couple playdates. I've also discovered MOPs and I love it! (check MOPs.com for more info) It's regular interaction with other moms whose children and struggles are the same as mine. My chaper has childcare and we rotate bringing breakfast (there are nighttime ones too). I also recently began getting out of the house one night a week for a couple hours to work on my own hobbies. Good luck! Hang in there!

Michelle - posted on 09/23/2009

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I understand what your saying. Try and maintain your adult relationships with friends, Also regarding feeling sad for your husband, remember your job is 24/7. We have the everyday stress of helping to form young lives forever. Just keep it in mind. Nothing in life is more rewarding.

Stephanie - posted on 09/23/2009

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I feel the same way. I have been staying at home since our son was born back in Feb. of last year. It was fine when he was born to stay home because my husband was in the USMC and had decent money and benefits coming in. Now i feel bad bc although he is making close to what he was in the marines, sometimes still isn't enough for us. Most of the time it is. but i feel bad bc i feel like i'm not helping him. in the same hand i don't want to leave my son with someone i don't know so i can work. we only have one car at the moment bc we cant afford to fix our other car, plus we live in the middle of nowhere so its not like i can walk to work. but i do miss working and getting away from the home for a little bit and talking with other people. hopefully we can get to the point where both cars work, and someone we know wouldn't mind watching our son so we can both go to work.

Jenny - posted on 09/23/2009

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yes it dose the same rountine over and over again makes me feel depressed and moody i miss seen other adults having coffee and a good chat i dont see my husband much all my time is with my 3 kids ...

Karin - posted on 09/23/2009

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Yes, I get moody as well. I was laid off of work in Feb09. I was never a stay-at-home mom before,I was always working. To say the least it has been a big adjustment for me. That was part of my independancy! I feel i have lost some of that! Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed being home with my kids, but sometimes I really miss the interaction at work and earning my own way!! My husband works very hard and I know he is not extremely happy of where he is at work right now, as always, he just keeps plugging along.

Brittany - posted on 09/22/2009

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It is hard being a SAHM. Because you feel useless. you arent contributing even though you might not have to but its hard to find things to do at times. You want to go crazy. I know I do. but Im learning to accept it for what it is. After all, we want to continue to be good wifes and mothers. But I agree 100% on how you feel.

Amanda - posted on 09/22/2009

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me too i agree sometimes i cry until he gets home i think it's because i'm pregnant but most of all because i've always worked or went to school

Lydia - posted on 09/22/2009

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Yes, I get very moody and sometimes I feel like I am missing out on the outside world.I miss being able to spend when I wanted to and not really having to worry that we will always have the money when it is needed.

[deleted account]

Yes! I've been a SAHM for over 11 yrs now. Sometimes you get all caught up in the doing responsibilities and it gets to be the same...day after day after day. I bought this book, " In praise of SAHM's" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (not sure if I spelled her last name right) and its a good book to just pick up when you're feeling down and it seems to remind us of our true jobs--raising our children. I have 2 kids in public school, and you can see the amount of time I spent with them and just being there as a SAHM...plus this book really contradicts society's attitude towards SAHM's.

Ashley - posted on 09/22/2009

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Sometimes I get in a slump about not having adult interaction and no friends to talk to. And it gets hard making it on one income. I know that it puts strain on my husband and I wish I could help him out more. But i love being home with my son as well and am blessed to be able to do so.

Alisha - posted on 09/22/2009

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I was a full time stay at home mom for three years so I understand there are definite up and down moods, I actually found a two night a week bartending job at a decent place and could not BELIEVE the difference it made in my mood! Adult interaction is important especially if you are a social person. Plus I feel like I'm contributing monetarily, I get to talk to people who answer back. Plus it's at night so I don't have to pay for day care and it's only two nights a week so hubby doesn't feel neglected either. Also websites like parenting.com and noggin.com have TONS of cheap/free craft ideas/activities to keep you and the kids busy. It also helps if you remind yourself that one day your children will be wiping your behind lol. Like that expression, be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home. hahaha it can be lonely but the days will pass quickly! And don't forget to treat yourself to a girls night out now and then!

Tonya - posted on 09/22/2009

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I've always worked, even after the births of my oldest two boys. Since having my daughter I have been an at-home-mom, it took alot of getting used to, I still can't say I am totally ok with it still. After my DD turned 1yr. old I started my junior year in college. I was happy because now she was in daycare and I had a purpose other than being a mom/wife. Then I found out I was pregnant with baby number 4, I was depressed for a long while, because I had to stop school again and just be home. I sometimes get upset about being home all the time, and take it out on my husband because he has a job and co-workers to talk to, I have just kids and babies all day. Now my husband is starting his own business and has made me his partner, so I now have a purpose other than chores.

Megan - posted on 09/22/2009

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I totally agree with you! I love being with my son all day but I wonder if I should get a PT job at night but then when will I see my husband? My husband doesn't restrict my spending but I need a guide sometimes. (Everything for a one year old is so cute.) I would really like to help out financially. My husband is even looking into a second job or the military to help make ends meet without being stretched!

TYTYGFVFJ - posted on 09/22/2009

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YES IT DOES REAPEATIN THE SAME DAILY TASK ALMOST EVERY DAY..AN ALSO HAVIN TO REPEAT YOUR SELF TO THE SAME CHILD ABOUT THE SAME THING THAT REALLY DRIVES ME UP THE WALL.

Iris - posted on 09/22/2009

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Yes, I'm pretty outgoing and was always on the go so this change of pace has been hard to get used to. The routine, however great for her, is not so great for me, lol. So i try and do at least one thing different everyday. Whether it's taking her to the bookstore, the park or just going for a walk. You have to get out of the house, if the weather is bad go to the mall. My mall has plenty of fun things for kids to do. And never underestimate the power of a good workout!

Anna - posted on 09/22/2009

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i agree my husband having to work over time when he doesnt want to makes me sad as well but with my daughters schudule i have to stay home

Cassandra - posted on 09/22/2009

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I loved staying at home when all three of my children were here or at least two of them but not that there is only one it is kind of boring, and I am sad often. I had to give up a job as a Preschool teacher because we were forced to move. We now live in a small town and there are no jobs here it would not pay for me to put my daughter in daycare and take any of these jobs here. I love my daughter very much, but she is only 3 and i definately miss adult conversation

Jennifer - posted on 09/22/2009

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Also playgroups are great!!! Get together with other moms and go to a park, or McDonalds with a play land, or just someones back yard and the kids get to play and you get to talk to an adult :)

Jennifer - posted on 09/22/2009

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When I am feeling that way it really helps to get outside. I find when I have spend too much time in the house doing laundry and chores it gets hard and that is when it is time to make staying home with the kids fun and play with them outside.

Neeley - posted on 09/22/2009

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Yes, more so in the winter when we are trapped in the house. Just remember. They won't be small for long. You will not regret spending time with them now, even if you are not enjoying it. There is a difference in the relationship that you will have with your kids later. My oldest son is now in the 7th grade, & when asked by a friend if he was going to "go out" with a little girl that liked him his response was, "no, her parents don't keep track of her". Your kids will notice later how much you sacrificed for them. Hang in there!! It does make a difference!!

Melissa - posted on 09/22/2009

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I too get a bit moody if its been awhile since i've gotten out on my own or just some real conversations... I do volunteer at my middle sons school when my youngest is at preschool, and i just started this this year. So i completely know where you are coming from.
My husband also works a lot and I dont like it, but he also feels bad that he misses school functions or something that has to do with the kids. I just tell him that its okay because he is there when he can be and make sure that i take alot of pictures for him.

Contessa - posted on 09/22/2009

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Yes it does make me moody!! I am 23 goin on 24 and i have probably went out maybe 5 times since I had my daughter whom is only 2! It would be nice to be able to go out with some friends our own age, we did go to a cookout about a week ago with some of my husbands friends from work, (they are in there 40's) I didn't even rly get to have a good time cause their yard was so big I was chasing my daughter around to make sure she didn't get hurt or run off somewhere. I dont get the luxery of having someone watch my child whenever I need it. My mom and mama both live 45 min away so I cant call them up when i want a sitter. It is very frustrating! My daily routine is get up take the husband to work, come home make breakfast for the little one, clean a little, take him his lunch, come home do some laundry and make Lexi some lunch, get on the computer, clean a little more, pick him up from work, come home and cook dinner, give little one a bath, put her to bed then put clothes away. And on the days I dont have alot of cleaning to do i take her to the park. Once in a while I will run into a mom with a child around the same age as mine and I will try to strike up a conversation. I tell my husband hes lucky to have ppl to talk to even if it is just at work, because at least he has ppl to communticate with. I get to talk to my family and thats about it. I do get sad, and depressed at times, but then i try to get over it. Once she starts school i know i will be able to interact with other ppl and maybe even make some new friends!

Kate - posted on 09/22/2009

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I definitely get moody sometimes, but it's not so much just being home all the time. It mostly because my fiance' just stays out. Granted a lot of it is working, he also goes to school, but then the nights he's not at school or work, he goes out..and then it's almost as if I'm stuck with the kids at home...with no help...again. I would just rather he spend more time with the family.

Jacqueline - posted on 09/22/2009

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Sometimes, when you know most of your friends are maybe out working or out doing other things and you feel like some company. My husband works away so It can be a bit lonely. Hot cuppa and a chair in the gatden soon sorts it...

Erin - posted on 09/21/2009

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Ooooohhhh yeah! I'm a real treat some days. Basically, I save up all my patience (the little I have) for my son which sometime doesn't leave any left over for my husband. Poor guy...sigh.

When he comes home from work, I am often resentful of his day - getting to eat when he wants and with both hands; getting to go to the bathroom without having to worry about the baby crying, etc....but then my son looks into my eyes and smiles at me and I feel like the luckiest person in the world -- as cheesey as that may sound :)

Our job is a tough one, but it's a rewarding one!

Amanda - posted on 09/21/2009

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I feel the same way, I want to work and help out our family and i miss adults lol and i do get moody and sad at times

Ashley - posted on 09/21/2009

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OMG! i totally get how you feel. Then i think alot of it is my husband doesnt understand how i can be so tired... well im at home all day everyday with 2 kids 17 months apart, one with 5 heart defects who is always cranky & tryin to get laundry done, the cleaning, the cooking its impossible i try to be june clever but... its not working. I really wish i could go back to work, that was a big part of my socail life i seemed to always be happy. and had people to talk to, but with all my youngest sons issues that is not in the question until he starts kindergarten so i better get used to it huh, it takes alot im only 22... hmm :o(

[deleted account]

And I too have been working since the age of 15, I cannot say it was fun but I did like getting my paycheck. I just want to be able to give my son everything he needs and sometimes things he wants (when he gets older). I know all he needs is love but I want to see his face light up whenever I am able to buy him a new toy or take him out. Its something I enjoyed doing with my parents and I wasn't spoiled at all so when I got those opportunities I was a very happy and grateful child and I want my son to feel that way also. Thank you again ladies.

Maireni - posted on 09/21/2009

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It doesn't make me sad but overwhealming at times. Also, my husband works from our home office and we are struggling as well so he gets moody, I get sad and sometimes unhappy.

[deleted account]

All of my friends with babies live a bit far but with my car that won't be a problem. This site is really helpful too.

[deleted account]

I have no drivers license either and transportation isn't so great here. Don't get me wrong ladies, I love my son and I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I never take out my frustration out on him but sometimes I do get a little frustrated with my husband, nothing major. I am really dreading going back to work and if I could I would stay at home with my son. I think the thing that is driving me crazy is the house chores, doing them over and over everyday and I do try to get out but transportation and a baby is tough. I am working on getting my license this year though bc my learners permit expires in May. My husband is fixing up my car right now. I cannot wait to get behind the wheel and start taking my baby everywhere!! This house is what drives me nuts sometimes and the cleaning (Im a bit of a neat freak). But I am so happy to be able to stay at home with my son, he is such a happy baby and I think it's bc I am able to give him my undivided attention everyday. Thank you for your responses ladies. :) Xoxo.

Shannon - posted on 09/21/2009

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Meetup.com is a great way to find local stay at home mom groups. It has been a lifesaver for me since I moved away from my friends/family and then became a SAHM. If you find the right group/fit, it is great! Best of luck!

Summer - posted on 09/21/2009

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i totaly agree, i fee; bad to see hi, busting his hump. sometimes i feel that he thinks i dont do anything during the day ( we have a 4 month old). i know he dosent feel that way but i cant help it, i guess its kinda guilt. i do miss interacting with adults!!! it does make me sad somtimes but the thought of someone else raising my daughter and breing there for all her firsts is not ok with me

Angie - posted on 09/21/2009

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Yes...only because i need adult interaction and when i am home with all of the kids 24 hours a day 7 days a week, it gets trying. My husband's job requires that he be on call every 3 wks. But even then there is no set schedual with what he does, so i am some days alone with the kids all day and night.

Emma - posted on 09/21/2009

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yeh my fella works makes me feel bad too but i see it as aleast one of u aint missing out on your baby growing up cus there grow to fast i miss work loads but u aint on your own hunny

Sharon - posted on 09/21/2009

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Yes it's so mind numbing! Some days it's boring and lonely. I tend to take my kids out more to do things like hiking on trails or finding arts and crafts to do with them. I always try to remember that I made the choice to stay home for my kids benifit and finding other moms to talk to is helpful too.

Christie - posted on 09/21/2009

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Oh honey! Up until recently I was a total and complete monster. I have worked since I was 16. I quit to care for our 1 yr old. My husband is military so we live away from family and have a hard time making friends. Granted to decreased income makes things hard, but the lack of adult interaction, for me, was even harder. I went to meetup.com, found a couple playgroups and a scrapping group, a girlfriend in the town we live in now and life is much improved for me, my husband, and our child. Give it a try! Please! Don't let yourself be sad...it can be so much better.

Diane - posted on 09/21/2009

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Yes it does and since I am not in a relationship it is hard. But what I do I fine a good comedy to watch that will have me in stiches and I forget about the boredom

Tisha - posted on 09/21/2009

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I agree, I was a full time working mom with my older two sons, then got divorced now I have an additional 8 month old son and preggo with my fourth, his second! I don't so much miss the deadlines and things like that, but interacting is such a huge part of my being. I have always enjoyed meeting new people. Now we have moved to a new town, I just can't even seem to make new friends and the hubby of course works his butt off and gets so stressed. I d love to help but then cost of daycare, gas etc. I sometimes don't know where to start or even what to do! Just try to keep my sanity one day at a time and know that I am blessed to be able to stay at home with our children.

Amy - posted on 09/21/2009

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Yep, totally feel that way sometimes. My husband and I share a vehicle, so when he is at work I am stuck at home. (we live outside of town)He also travels a lot so I am a single mom at times. I have found a great set of moms with kids the same age as mine and we have started to develop great friendships. We have decided to do a coffee night every week. It give us a chance to get out the house with no kids and gives us girl time to chat about whatever. Find a play group and get out of the house whenever you can. That's what has helped me. Good luck moms and hang in there each day is a new one, make the best of it.

[deleted account]

It makes me sad and moody to know that without my income, we have to do without a lot more than we used to. But with my hubby being military, and having twin babies, I really enjoy the time that I get to spend taking care of everyone. Nope the housework doesn't get done everyday, still have laundry from last week sitting on the couch to be put away - but have FINALLY learned that life is tooooo short not to spend having fun!!!! My greatest achievment in the end will not be how much money I make or how many friends I have - it will be my children as loving parents of their own children and knowing that I gave them the foundation to be all they want to be.

[deleted account]

Moody is not the word for how I feel somethimes. I am at home cooking and cleaning while everyone else are at work or school. then when I say something about how stressed out I am. I get all you do is stay at home doing nothing. my house is clean, but I do nothing. I want to go back to work so bad, but my husband wants me to go to school. my life is my family, but I want to have a life outside of my home, and going back to school in not on my list of things, but on the other hand it might be good for me. I am already over worked and stressed out at home.

Misty - posted on 09/21/2009

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i am a stay at home mom, have been for going on 3 yrs now. yes sometimes it makes me sad that i cant help out with bills or to see my man struggle when he does, but it doesnt happen often and i love bein home with my kids. it sucks not having your own money that you worked hard for, but being a stay at home mom is the hardest and highest paying job in the world even if your not paid with cash or a paycheck every week.

Jennifer - posted on 09/21/2009

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I wouldn't say sad but bored jealous and envious at times that my husband has the come and go life with adult conversation through out the day. Now that my children are both in school I would love to go back to work but we live in a small town that does not have very many job openings

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