Does your husband ever tell you....

Chesnie - posted on 07/28/2010 ( 190 moms have responded )

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...the house looks nice after you spent all day cleaning?

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Heidi - posted on 08/03/2010

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for about the first 6months- a year that we were together my hubby used to tell me. Now I hardly get a word out of him about it. I'm lucky if he notices that I changed something around, took something away, or added something. and if I mention it he usually says I noticed and when asked about why he didn't say anything he usually answers with an i don't know.

Tracy - posted on 07/31/2010

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sometimes! Not as often as I'd like, but he does it occasionally. Usually for about a week after I've drafted him into helping me on the weekend b/c he's having half his unit over for dinner...the thing is, men don't usually NOTICE things like that unless you hit them over the head with it. I mean, yeah, they notice if there's no clean dishes when they go to make themselves a snack, but they just assume that there's *going* to be clean stuff, so it doesn't register when there is. Same for dirt/pet hair/toys--they only notice it's there when it inconveniences them, and see nothing otherwise. What's worked for me is to ask my hubby if we can exchange one compliment each day--i.e., every time I say something nice to him, he has to return the favor. And he ALWAYS compliments my cooking, so I let other stuff go...

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2010

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My hubby wont usually say anything unless it is obvious that the day's cleaning was more than the usualy vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, laundry, toy clean-up (we aren't even delving into clean, fed, played-with, neurologically stimulated, happy, children). I make sure that any "sometimes cleaning" bleaching, tub scrubbing, window washing, mopped floors (Wood floors throughout the entire house grrr) etc are done right before he gets home so the smell of the cleaner is extra potent when he walks through the front door. Then he will usually comment about how clean the house smells. Other than that it is business as usual and he wouldn't notice that I spent an hour scrubbing the marker off the wall in the kids' bedroom, because he never saw it in the first place, and there is no way I will tell him becuase then I will just have to hear a lecture on why they had a marker in their bedroom at naptime.

Kellie - posted on 07/28/2010

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Gee, I guess I need to go tell my husband how wonderful he is because he tells me all the time. I mean, I don't take it for granted but I do think its all apart of being supportive and encouraging in a relationship. Sometimes I didn't do a thing all day except pick up after the little one and he still tells me the house looks nice! LOL

I am so sorry your husband does not acknowledge your efforts. Sometimes we just have to muster up our own pride in what we do and even if no one notices we know we did a great job. I know the tendency is to take such things personally but try to resist that feeling. Sometimes guys can be shortsighted and not truly understand how much that kind of compliment would mean to us women. They think its silly or unnecessary but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate it or think that you are really great for all you do. I bet he thinks you're a wonderful wife and mother! :)

Ruth - posted on 07/28/2010

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If I did more than I usually do, them I'll say something like "Guess what I did today?" and he'll ask, I'll point it out to him, and he will appropriately ooh and aah over my "amazing" accomplishment.

Mind you, it's usually something like dusting the ceiling fans, or getting all the old caked-on grease off the stove top.

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Shannon - posted on 10/19/2011

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Mine doesnt either. I truly believe that husbands who work full time while we stay at home think we have it easier and they have the harder job. Being a stay at home parent is a thankless-under appreciated job.

Chesnie - posted on 08/11/2010

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WELL UPDATE....I told my hubby i would love it if he told me the house looked nice, as I try to tell him how much I appreciate him working so hard for us..He said he will try harder but that he needs time to "process" that the house looks nice..lol WTF, what is there to process???? hmmmm

Jessica - posted on 08/05/2010

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well, im not married, but for a while my boyfriend noticed every little thing i did around the house. i wasnt the best house keeper , or even close to it, while i was pg. after i had our daughter, the house was spotless on the weekends, when he was home, cuz otherwise i didnt get a chance to do anything. but shes 8 months old now, so the house is pretty much clean all the time. the only thing i have to do after she goes to bed is pick up her toys and do the dishes. he often makes comments like "what would i do without you" or "i dont know how i ever made it before i met you". hes a major slob, like most men, and never knew where anything was. even now, when its all been in the same place for almost a year, he still has to ask. but when im cleaning while hes home, he usually thanks me for cleaning up after him...

Maggie - posted on 08/05/2010

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@Christina Price, who said,

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Christina Price
July 29, 11:26 am ComplimentAdd to CircleSend Message Block user Sometimes I get a "good job" which only ticks me off. A thanks or it looks nice would be better then making me feel like a child getting a gold star on there coloring page. I'd almost rather he didn't say anything versus what he does say as it comes off rather insulting honestly."

- you should be happy that your man takes notice of all that you do. He might not give a GREAT compliment but it IS a compliment! Some of the women who have responded to this question would probably be SO HAPPY if they got a "good job" from their husband. Sometimes it's not the words used but the intention behind the words.

Kate - posted on 08/05/2010

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Men are not know for tact so expecting them to say it outloud is a wasted effort.... but you are right if you were to stop they would have something to say about it...lol trust me I tried!!! Best to just go about your business as you please and learn to appreciate it yourself instead of waiting on him....I am sure he does appreciate it but the odds of him remembering to says so are slim!!!

Alix - posted on 08/04/2010

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Everyday! My husband is so loving and attentive and he appreciates what I do for him! He always thanks me for cleaning his clothes and making lunch for him to take to work and for watching our daughter. I am so blessed!!!!

Chantyl - posted on 08/04/2010

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Most of the time, NO. I have quit expecting it because it sems to never happen. When I bring it up it is not as satisfying so I just leave that subject alone.

Alice - posted on 08/04/2010

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Wow... I think it's just a guy thing. Guys don't open up as much as we do, and they don't realize that we need them to be open to us. They do their pat on the back thing with each other. I mentioned that when we were dating. My mother-in-law always keeps her house spotless (she likes to clean) and I said "Oh, your house is so clean" and after a really good meal, complimented her on it. My husband (then my fiance) said "it's her job" and I said "don't you like to hear "thank you" when you do your job well?" I think he got it then and I'm living off that... because, yes, sometimes he nitices and says thank you, but I know he notices without him saying it because I can feel it. :) I've learned a lot of arguments can be prevented just by understanding how differently men and women are wired. :)

Jamie - posted on 08/04/2010

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Most men do not notice the small stuff! Thats why you have to be open about what you like to hear from them and how it makes you feel whenever they notice that small stuff! I know with my boyfriend I have to sometimes let him know what I did all day, just so he knows that I dont sit on my butt all day. I work more than four 10hr days!! My job is never ending! He gets to come home and relax and he will sometimes gripe and complain about how "tired" he is! If he did what us Moms do ona daily basis...he would pull his hair and appreciate his four 10hr days!!
He is however slowly getting better. We talk all the time about what we like and all, and what bothers me when he makes those comments. I tell him that When he does do things like that, it's not that I dont understand...but its like I dont do anything. I do bring things to this relationship and our child!

Maggie - posted on 08/04/2010

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yes he does! It makes me so happy when he does. I realize that a lot of husbands don't - and mine didn't used to either. It would make me feel horrible! I guess a lot of men expect us to clean house so when we do it it's nothing special.
My sister gave me a book for my first anniversary. It was "the Five Love Languages" ...if you haven't read it then DO and have your hubby read it, too. Before you read it, though, take the test at the back. That way you know which language you speak and which your hubby does. It's made a huge difference in the way we interact because we are both getting what we need from the relationship.
I highly recommend this book to EVERYONE!

Holly - posted on 08/04/2010

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oo yes, i always thank him for helping, especially car work! its funny, sometimes he would tell me i dont have to thank him! that its half his job as well. dosnt matter, im always thankful to him and others! thats how i was raised, was to be polite and generous!

Chenoa - posted on 08/03/2010

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I would like more than just a compliment. I'd appreciate if my husband helped. I'm not limiting it to just house cleaning. Anything Really. My husband is gone for 6 days at a time and then home for 2 days. He tells me that he would like to relax and enjoy his days off. I told him I would like to have a day off.

Christa - posted on 08/03/2010

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Sure....he knows how concerned I am about our families health. So he is very grateful for what I do and that I am always using the best and safest products to get the job done.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2010

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No. Usually all I get is that he completley ignores the fact that things are clean or he finds something to complain about that I did. Oh well, I don't clean it just for him, I do it for my daughter to have a clean place to play to lol.

Stacy - posted on 08/03/2010

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nope not even a smile of grattitude! But let there be one spec of dirt and he will see that and the complaints role in!!! I would love to see him in my shoes!!!

Nikki - posted on 08/03/2010

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Yes mine does. He says "wow, baby you've out done yourself && it looks great.. :) makes me feel good!

Melissa - posted on 08/03/2010

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I make sure my husband knows that i appreciate the fact that he works hard to take care of our family. I also make sure he knows how lucky I am to be able to stay at home and raise our children, and that motivates him to be that much better. We both as one unit understand how hard it is to raise our children in every aspect and we have a mutual respect for each other's roles because of that.

Erin - posted on 08/03/2010

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My husband usually doesnt say anything... it doesnt really bother me because i know he appriciates what i do. Its kinda the same thing as not noticeing that he changed the oil in my car or that he trimmed his beard.. not a big deal in the long run.

Natasha - posted on 08/03/2010

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the only time i get "thehouse looks nice"is when i go a couple of days with only loading the dishwasher!! My hubby doesnt understand that with a 6year old a 3 year old and 7 month old and be prego again that im just to tired to clean day in and day out.i try to pick up after the kids are in bed,but sometime i even to tired for that...When he keeps the kids so i can go out for some me time i come home to a much bigger mess then what he would ever come home to...must be a man thing lol

Kristin - posted on 08/03/2010

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Not often, but once in a while. But I am the type of woman to say "Hey, doesn't the house look nice?" lol But just to play Devil's Advocate, how often does anyone say to their husband when he comes home from work, "Thanks honey, you did a great job at work today!" Just a thought.

Chesnie - posted on 08/03/2010

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Our husbands might not have a hard time JUST watching the kiddos alone, but its getting them to see its more than that, its watching them, AND cleaning..and cooking...and bathing..and feeding them...etc well you get the picture. Thats what they have trouble with..lol

April - posted on 08/03/2010

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Yes he does. He is so appreciative of everything I do for our family. He has walked in my shoes when he was Mr. Mom for 6 months so he now knows all the hard work I put in to take care of the kids and clean the home.

Della - posted on 08/03/2010

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heck no i clean all the time and even rearrange my house and he still dont ever say anything. its kinda disappointing but oh well I guess at least I know its clean and looks good.

Chesnie - posted on 08/03/2010

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Actually Mia, yes I do! Maybe I go overboard, but I ALWAYS say "thank you" when he pays the bills, fixes the cars, even feeds our daughter. I apreciate really what he does. I hoped maybe he would take my cue, and tell me thanks but never!! lol

Holly - posted on 08/03/2010

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im glad mine isnt so negative! we both do work with each other, and he is really good trying to keep everything together since im about to have our baby very soon, like this week or next week! my husband also tells me, he sees what i go threw now because before when i have no one to talk to i would sometimes have a break down and tell him what i went threw during the day and on top of that the kids in my hair and messing the house after i spent hours cleaning! he now knows how it feels for women especially what him and his sisters put his mother and feels for women he say's, but i tell him, its part of life and when you have kids and more in to your life this will happen! i rather go threw this then be alone, to be honest! the reason why i say that is, i have an aunt who is alone and is depressed abbout it! she had it all but ran away :(

Lee Ann - posted on 08/02/2010

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no! and the one time i didn't clean he noticed and asked what happened!? then he stated he was just used to me keeping it clean all the time. grrrr. men. haha.

Karsyn - posted on 08/02/2010

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He only did once. But that is because I said, "I spent all day cleaning this house and it's finally done! Doesn't it look good?" And he said, "Yeah, baby, it looks good." If I didn't ask him though, he would've NEVER said anything! lol

Shani - posted on 08/02/2010

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always. and I usually keep the house tidy the only mess is my side of our walk in closet lol

Rachel - posted on 08/02/2010

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Actually, yes.. My husband knows that one of the best ways to show his love for me is by giving me words of affirmation. So he is sure to point it out when he knows that I have worked hard.

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2010

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i know it's crazy but mine does if i do it. he notices everything i do so when i put forth effort on anything he sees it which is nice.

Ma.Clavel - posted on 08/02/2010

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Not really, he just smiles...though he knows if I didn't clean the house...'coz he doesn't mind if I didn't, as long as I'll be able to cook him good food...he was the one who told me it's okay not to clean the house everyday so long as I won't neglect my duties to my son! He's the one who always remind me that I'm not a maid in the house....so I need to relax....He always tells me we won't die of the clutter in the house, but I might die if I exhaust myself too much from doing all the household chores!? :-D

Miranda - posted on 08/02/2010

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Umm no actually he usually points out something I missed LOL he claims he likes it when the house is messy when he gets home because I don't complain about him being mess as much.

Kenda - posted on 08/02/2010

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i have a way that i do things around here.i clear to sparkle on mondays and saturdays the rest of the days i just pick up and the basic stuff.he knows this so on mondays and saturdays he tells me the place looks great.i found out he just did it to say he noticed when he didnt cause he dont care. i left the house untouched til i couldnot stand it any more and thats how i figured out his routie cause he still said it looked great.i guess its the thought maybe that counts.

Danielle - posted on 08/02/2010

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Yup...and sometimes he lets me sleep in and cleans the house up himself while he watches our daughter ;)

L. Nicole - posted on 08/02/2010

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No, and I feel unappreciated. The work of SAHMs often goes overlooked. I am working harder more now than ever, but no one except for grandmas and other SAHMs see it that way.

Nicole Williams
TwentySomethingMoms.wordpress.com

Valerie - posted on 08/02/2010

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When he comes home from work to a clean house, he is always happy, and makes compliments. It is always a happier more relaxed home here when it is clean...

Lisette - posted on 08/02/2010

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He always tells me it is always a mess because after I fix everything he wants it in another way so sometimes I don't clean until his days off so I make sure we agree on cleaning the house.

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