Doing more than your significant other, is that ok?

Stifler's - posted on 07/28/2010

If you want free time ask for it!

Heather - posted on 07/28/2010

i don't think so ! if it doesnt bother you and he doesnt fell pushed out then it works ! i have 5 kids and my husband works out of town monday thru friday so obviously i do most everything . but weekends it is habbit to jus take over and do things but the kids still rely on him when im there and he seems ok with how things work with the exception of missin the kids when he is gone! If it works enjoy it!

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

Thank you for the advice ladies! I will defently try asking for more help but i guess it is just nature for us to do more, which is kinda sucky sometimes but he isn't the type to get angry at me or anything so hopefully it will be okay!

Cherie - posted on 07/25/2010

I feel you hunny, and I bet many stay at home mommies do. When I talked to my mom about this, she said that I just need to ask him to do specific things at specific times- which sucks because I think he should just know. Unfortunatley mommies and daddies are programmed differently. I feel bad my husband is at work, but I just remind myself and him that doing things for the baby promotes healthy bonds. My hubby can tell a difference with our son when he hasnt been helping much.

Kimberly - posted on 07/25/2010

I'm a SAHM also. My husband is at work 15 hours a day for 10 days on and then he gets 5 days off. I do everything for our 19 month old son and all the cleaning & cooking. When he's on days off, he changes diapers, feeds him, bathes him and plays with him and lets me sleep longer with I need to (our son wakes up 8:30-9am so hubby gets to sleep in too) He pretty much takes care of our son even though I'm always with them. He cooks us breakfast and if I ask him to, will cook supper too & possibly even clean up. Of course, he's learned not to say anything if theres a day that the floor is covered with toys, or the laundry isn't put away or nothings cooked. He's seen that some days are just exhausting for me and knows better that to complain about it. Thats our arrangement that works for us but if I some day go back to work it'll be 50/50. You should talk to your boyfriend & tell him how you feel and hopefully work something out . Good Luck!

Jeneva - posted on 07/25/2010

I am my kids' primary caregivers. My husband works and goes to school (1-2 days a week). He works hard to make it so that I get to stay home. So I take care of the kids, clean and cook. He spends a lot of time playing with the kids and going out with us on weekends/holidays. In addition he steps in if I ask for some help (with the kids or with cleaning) and he doesn't make a big deal if I want to go out with friends or something for a few hours or even a full day.

This is our arrangement and it works well for us. I don't complain and I don't nag. There just has to be that understanding between you two. If you are comfortable "doing more" than great, he just has to be around when your son and/or you need him without complaint.

Jennifer - posted on 07/25/2010

I also stay at home and often feel the same way. My husband works very hard, but I think it's important that he spends bonding time with our son and that includes sharing in the responsibilities of caring for him. I told him that I wanted him to be more than just a playmate to our son. So, we take turns giving him baths and reading him stories. I also make sure he is sharing in the discipline because I don't want to always be "the bad guy." Talk to your boyfriend and find a balance that makes you both happy. Don't be afraid to ask him for help. You need a break too. It's a huge treat for me to get out on my own sometimes. My son stays with his dad and they usually have a great time.

Renee - posted on 07/25/2010

If it feels right to you then it's most likely right for you. Talk to him about how you would like your futures to be shaped in the future when things change around with work and school ect. Being open and communicating is the key. I've always done the same with my husband after years of doing that and with more kids and animals around, I do ask him for more hep these days. He is more then happy to help where I ask him for it. It's at random times he does it but it helps me get caught up and also allows time for relaxing when I may need it. I like it, and he didn't mind the change since we are always open to what either of us need or want to feel good and happy with our lives and relationship.