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Encouraging Independent Play?

Jessie - posted on 03/19/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Help! My daughter is just approaching three years old. As a stay at home mom, I spend a lot of time playing with her. I try to involve her in every activity I am doing from vacuuming to cooking. We do games that are just for her as well, trips to the park, and play with the neighbor girl almost everyday. All of this being said, it is impossible to get her to play independently! When we ask her to play with her toys for a bit she often throws a tantrum, begging us to play with her, or asking to watch tv instead (something that we don't allow very often). If we try to leave her in her play area, she will follow us around, and inevitably get into things she KNOWS is off limits. She can no longer play with crayons unless we color with her, or you better believe our walls will look like a Jackson Pollock in 5 minutes flat. Even when we are outside she refuses to do any activity without us, or at least without our undivided attention. I am concerned she is getting too much attention from us, but I am unsure how to resolve the issue.

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4 Comments

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Ann - posted on 03/22/2012

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As tough as it sounds, continue leaving her to play by herself. It has to be consistent,but eventually works. Kids are smart and in part she is playing you, but in a sense that is all she knows is to play with others.

Jessie - posted on 03/19/2012

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Oh the timer idea sounds perfect. My only concern would be we use the timer method for time outs, and I wouldn't want her to correlate playing by herself with punishment. Although if I reacted positively and played with her when the time was up she would hopefully get the idea. I am going to for sure give that a try.

Chrystal - posted on 03/19/2012

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While I haven't had to much trouble with my own children some of the kids I worked with before I had my own children had trouble with solo play. One trick I used is a timer. I give them a toy or activity that they only play with during solo play then I set the timer for 20 minutes and explain to them that I want them to play alone but when the timer goes off I will sit and play with them again. At first I set the timer for only 5 minutes which at 3 was challenge enough; as they got the concept the time went up. Hope that helps

Brittney - posted on 03/19/2012

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While it is nice she enjoys playing with you, involve her in activities that you can watch her do. Like while she is playing with the neighbor girl. Sorry, I don't have much experience with this yet.

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