Carrie - posted on 06/06/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )
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I am new to the group and was hoping someone out there may have dealt with a similar issue. My son's birthday is coming up and I would like to not invite my sister-in-law and her family. Let me give you a little background so you understand the situation. I have 2 boys. my oldest will be ten and my youngest is six. my sister-in-law's kids are 4 not yet 2 and she is due with her third in a couple weeks. When my oldest son was born I was a working mom still so he was watched by my mother-in-law for two years until I became a stay at home mom. As a result my mother-in-law and oldest son have a VERY close relationship. he often spends long weekends at her house. my SIL through comments and actions does not like the close relationship they have. She used to direct her subtle comments to her mother or me but as my son has become older she has begun to treat him differently and single him out. Example: we were at their house for my nephews birthday. she told all the kids they could go downstairs, get one toy and come back...except for my oldest son because he was too busy playing with grandma. My son was so confused as to why he couldn't do the same that he and I took a walk around the block to get his mind off it. Ever since she got married my SIL has also began to isolate herself from our family. We used to invite them to everything...birthday parties, summer BBQ's, just to come down and have dinner so the kids could play. After a few years and the invitation was NEVER reciprocated we stopped inviting them to everything except the birthday parties. We literally see them 3 times a year (they haven't come to my oldest sons birthday for three years). The straw that broke the camels back was last summer. my husband's father had a heart attack. (my husband's parents are divorced) At the time of the heart attack my FIL lived about 4 hours away from us and 5 hours away from my SIL. When the heart attack happened my FIL was in the middle of a move to be closer to all his grand kids. My husband immediately cancelled two camping trips and a family vacation to be able to help his dad move. My kids and I attended a lot of family events alone because my husband was hours away. It took every weekend from the middle of June until the end of September to get him moved. My SIL and her husband helped twice because their kids had summer activities that they weren't willing to rearrange. Too late to make long story short but I am at my wit's end. My MIL is telling me I need to invite them no matter what to keep the tension in the family down because if there is a blowup between my husband and his sister she feels she'll be caught in the middle and pay the price for it. In all actuality she probably would...my SIL is petty enough to keep her kids from seeing my MIL because she's angry at us. I especially don't want her there with the way she has begun to treat my oldest son...it is after all his birthday. Has anyone had to deal with a similar situation and if so what did you do? I am a pretty blunt person and really don't care at this point if I offend someone who I see 3 - 4 times a year but i really don't want to upset my MIL. Any advice would be appreciated
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