Ever had a Silent Miscarriage?

Jamie - posted on 07/08/2010 ( 105 moms have responded )

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I'm almost 12 weeks. I just had an ultrasound done 2 days ago and we found out that the baby died at 6wks but my body is still supporting it. Has anyone gone through this before? It was such a shock for my husband and I when we thought we were going for a routine exam.

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Melissa - posted on 07/20/2010

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After reading most of the posts, I thought I could add a different perspective. I have done ultrasounds for more than a decade before becoming a SAHM. I have some encouragement for you in that a "silent" miscarriage means that you are able to conceive, and you are able to carry a pregnancy. It is more likely that the baby had the issues that lead to its demise.

Many women miscarry early and the medical community cannot study what really happened, so it is theorized and true in many cases that these babies have "congenital deformities incompatible with life." You may be familiar with Down's syndrome, but these characteristics don't keep a baby from surviving through pregnancy. But there are so many other malformations that can occur. Some may be as simple (and complex) as a heart defect, some may be extensive and involve many organs, but they cut the life of the baby so short and prevent them from surviving long enough to be born.

As many women have shared here, you can see that one failed pregnancy doesn't mean you can't go on to have other normal pregnancy experiences. But if you recognize that life begins in the womb (as I do), then you can realize that a miscarriage is a death and it is appropriate to grief it as such.

I hope that this insight is helpful and I do wish you a full emotional and physical recovery. God bless you.

C - posted on 07/13/2010

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I am very sorry for your loss and grief. I have had a dozen miscarriages the past 8 years and know the sadness it leaves in your heart, and the questions it leaves burning in your mind. The last one I had was February 2009, but as usual, within a few months (by May) I was pregnant again, at which point I had truly given up. I was sure that nothing would come of it but if there was the slightest chance I decided to get as healthy as possible..Halfway through my pregnancy I was amazed I had made it that far. Everyday seemed a blessing but I was terrorized by the worry and possibilities. I feel I cherished my growing baby but could never really enjoy her with this black cloud on my shoulder. Miraculously I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl February of this year. Though she does ease the pain of all of my previous losses, nothing can remove it for me completely. You've got to remain in the now and look to the future with brighter skies. Right now you probably feel grief, confused, maybe anger. But these emotions are right for what you've experienced and you must remember that most likely you miscarried because in some way the babe was not ready or healthy enough to continue--and the one thing you want is a healthy baby. He or she will come, we will pray for your family and your angel baby and your coming baby, and that both he or she and you will be healthy, happy, and at peace. All our hope and blessings!

Brianna - posted on 06/21/2011

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im so sorry my last baby i lost at 10 weeks along but at my ultrasound they said they think it died at like 6 or 7 week but i didnt start to bleed for weeks later

Christy - posted on 06/21/2011

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To Laura Hoffman- if you haven't received an answer, it's basically when the Dr. has to scrape out your insides, usually to remove the baby who has died and all of the things that go with a baby. Some hospitals term them abortions, but this isn't actually the case, because with an abortion you are choosing to terminate the pregnancy, and the baby's life. With a D & C, the baby has sadly already died and they are removing everything before your body starts to lose it naturally- which is a painful, uncomfortable and traumatic experience. Believe me, having a D & C (while the less traumatic of the 2) was an experience that made me wonder how in the world any woman could willingly go through an abortion. Thankfully, after I had my silent misscarriage last February, I had a difficult pregnancy after that, but the end result was a beautiful precious baby girl who I love with my whole heart, and who her big sister just adores. Ironically, she was born just shy of a year later, THIS February...

Leslie - posted on 03/11/2011

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I am so sorry for your loss, I have had the same thing happen to me I was 15 weeks along and went in for a routine exam and found out that the baby had stopped growing and passed away at 7 weeks along. I ended up haveing to get a d&c. I was told by my doctor i would be lucky to get pregnant again and be able to carry the child to full term, but 5 months after my d&c my husband and found out I was pregnant again and we had a healthy baby boy born at 40 weeks October 19, 2010.

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Kendall - posted on 06/21/2011

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I see this happened almost a year ago but Jamie I am so sorry. I just last week experienced my first silent miscarriage. I have a healthy baby boy that is 2 and we were 11 weeks pregnant and our baby lost it's heartbeat at 10 weeks. We saw the heartbeat at 7weeks on the ultrasound so never thought this could happen. I am now trying to find other womans advises about this coping process. I had a d&c surgery just 4days ago and am trying to heal. I don't feel much closure. Each day seems a little easier. I hope you have had beefed news since last july

Kendall - posted on 06/21/2011

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I see this happened almost a year ago but Jamie I am so sorry. I just last week experienced my first silent miscarriage. I have a healthy baby boy that is 2 and we were 11 weeks pregnant and our baby lost it's heartbeat at 10 weeks. We saw the heartbeat at 7weeks on the ultrasound so never thought this could happen. I am now trying to find other womans advises about this coping process. I had a d&c surgery just 4days ago and am trying to heal. I don't feel much closure. Each day seems a little easier. I hope you have had beefed news since last july

Chrissy - posted on 07/30/2010

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yes actually, unfortunately it happened to me on my 16th birthday. I was apparently almost 10 weeks when the baby passed but i went until 14 weeks pregnant.. it was very hard on both me and my boyfriend. we ended up breaking up because of it. but God helped me through it and years later my husband and I are very happy with our 3 little girls. keep your chin up and never give up hope ♥

Veronique - posted on 07/26/2010

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I'm so sorry for your loss sweety!! I had 2 miscarriages before having my 1st daughter but they were not silent ones. I was bleeding and had cramps.
After my miscarriages i waited 4 months and got pregnant with my first and when she was 8 months old got pregnant with my second. So stay strong because it will work.

Reanda - posted on 07/26/2010

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So sorry for your loss. It is hard I know, had the same thing a few years ago, found out at 11 weeks that the baby died at about 6 weeks. I fell pregnant again two years later and carried my beautiful boy full term without any complications. I had another miscarraige last year, everyone tells you these things happen, but it doesn't really make you feel better. We're going to keep trying and so should you, good luck hun :)

Joyce - posted on 07/26/2010

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Jamie, sorry about the loss. I was there too. Was bleeding slowly at 8 weeks and referred to the hospital for an internal scan which confirmed that embryo looked younger than 8 weeks and was probably dead few weeks ago. Was emotionally painful. Was asked to allow the blood flow by itself and in less than 2 weeks I tested negative. It was painful but at the end of the day, you will get pregnant again and things will go well.
All the best with your next try.

Lisa - posted on 07/22/2010

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I had the same thing happen when I was 15 weeks...I had gone in for a prescription refill, and the doctor said she wanted to do a check up because they didn't find a heartbeat the week before when I was there...Anyway, she couldn't find one, and they decided to do an ultrasound and still couldn't find a heartbeat. They did an emergency D & C the next morning at 7am...It all happened so fast that I didn't really have time to react or think...But now I have a beautiful, perfect 3 year old daughter and I believe that God gave her to me to make up for the baby I lost and I couldn't be happier :) Just remember that this happened for a reason, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel...You will have another baby, just keep your hopes up!!!

Roisin - posted on 07/22/2010

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Hi, I have had two miscarriages. My first miscarriage was when I was 15 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I had to have a scan, totally excited to see our baby kicking etc only to find out it had died at 10weeks. I carried the baby for almost 6 weeks dead. It was a horrific experience. I had to have a D&C to remove the baby which made my experience worse. It was called a missed miscarriage. My second miscarriage was at 8weeks, normal miscarriage. It was a lot easier to get over than my first baby, probably because I wasn't as far along pregnant and the shock of seeing our dead baby on the scan was awful as you know. We have two beautiful daughters now and another baby on the way, I am currently 12 weeks pregnant. The fear of having another miscarriage and even looking at the scan on other pregnancies never goes away. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. Roisin, Ireland.

Cmd - posted on 07/21/2010

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I'm so sorry for your loss Jamie. I had one of these between my two kids - went for the 12 week ultrasound and discovered the baby had died at about 7 weeks. I finally had to have it surgically removed. Both my husband and I were in shock and stuggled to cope for a while - which was probably hard on our 1 year old, especially since it was Christmas time and instead of being happy Mummy kept crying. About 6 months later I became pregnant again and this time carried to term (well actually 42 and a bit weeks) and have a gorgeous son now. I struggled for a while and still think of the baby I lost on certain dates (like it's due date) but have come to understand that there must have been something wrong with the baby I lost so it was for the best. I know it can't be easy now, but I really hope and pray you are able to reconcile things in your hearts & minds and that you will go on to have a healthy baby before too long.

Michelle - posted on 07/21/2010

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It's a horrible thing to go through i know. Make sure you allow yourself to grieve and don't chastize yourself for how long it takes to get over it emotionally.It's hard on the dad's too. people often forget about how they need to grieve for the loss of thier child as well.It's been 3 1/2 yrs since I had mine and it still makes me cry sometimes. I was pregnant a few months later and had a very healthy very bouncy baby boy. All through that pregnancy I was terrified of it happening again. almost to the point of being too afraid to become emotionally attached to my unborn baby. This was normal. So if it happens to you don't feel ashamed as many who do go through this do feel that way. Unattached and ashamed of it. As the weeks go on and you hear his/her heartbeat and feel them beating the crap out of you from the inside and begin to wonder if your going to see bruises on your belly from their little kicks and elbows, and then as they head bunt your bladder and send you waddling to the bathroom praying you'll make it in time you'll start to relax and actually enjoy the torture. In the meantime there are all kinds of excellent support groups you can find here or elseware online. And talk to eachother. go and do things together. don't shut eachother out. Too many couple often make that mistake and end up hurting eachother when you are both already in pain

Maribel - posted on 07/21/2010

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Yes, I was 12 weeks and my baby had died at 9 months. I was devastated. I had already sensed something wrong when I didn't have nausea or morning sickness anymore.

Arlene - posted on 07/21/2010

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The same thing happened to me, I thought I was 10 weeks, but the ultrasound showed the baby died at 6 weeks. I had bleeding which is why I had the ultrasound done, but my hcg levels were still showing me pregnant and I even had a little baby bump. I also had to have a D&C a week later because my body didn't expel everything and I had heavy bleeding. I became pregnant again 6 months later and now have a very healthy little girl! It was really hard to move on, so scary to try for another baby. I read a book called Miscarriage, Why it happens and how best to reduce your risks by Henry Lerner....I found it helped alot. I also bought a necklace keepsake. Good luck

Lisa - posted on 07/21/2010

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I am so sorry! i went in for my 16 week check up and the doctor could not find a heartbeat. I was completely shocked, I had been having some bleeding prior but I thought that I was in the clear. I was absolutely devastated. I went to the hospital and they started labor and I delivered our little baby girl 8 hours later, I just had to do that to move on. I got pregnant a month and a half after the miscarriage and I now have a beautiful baby boy.

Fiona - posted on 07/21/2010

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I am sooo sorry, I didnt have a silent one, but I fell pregnant again before my next period and Im 5 months now and have my scan on friday so who knows whats going to happen. keep your chin up. x

Laura - posted on 07/21/2010

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wow 7 . that is hard. i heard that every 7 years your body changes. so i hope that is true, cause maybe i will get lucky and the next time i get pregnant just maybe i can keep it. my son really wants baby sister or baby brother. i have had 4 D&C's . i hear it is best to get them done. my first misscarriages i expelled it by myself but the rest of them no. my first one was the most painful. i will still never understand why it has to happen.w hy cant every pregnancy be perfect and come to full term. i know that obvoiusly doesn't work that way but it should. well one day we will have another baby i hope. for now i just get to be jealous of others with there new borns. it is hard but i am dealing with it. i do have support. my husband and family are very supportive. my last one was a shock. i thought for sure i was gonna keep it. i was like no way i can have 5 in a row but i was wrong. it never had a heart beat. i even took it soo easy didnt lift anything or do anything but that didnt matter. with my son when i was pregnant with him i was working so i did everything . so i think with my next pregnancy just do everything that is normal and maybe i will get lucky and it will stay and want to be born.
how did u cope with all of them?

Chelle - posted on 07/21/2010

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First im so sorry to hear that . I have went through 4 misscarriges and 3 silent ones which i needed a dnc for . Nothing ever prepares you for it , but it gets better belive me . I had no problems with my first pregnancy and my son was fine tho born early . But after that i lost 7 babies but just last year i was blessed with a lovley boy whos now 1 and into everything . If you need someone to talk to one to one mesage me all y love xx

Jennifer - posted on 07/20/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I experienced this a few weeks ago. I was a little further along, I was 14 weeks, but baby had stopped growing around 11. It is a complete shock, it comes out of nowhere, especially if your body hasn't recognized that the pregnancy isn't 'live' anymore. Once your body starts to realize the baby isn't growing, it will start to give you signs. We had our baby at home, our midwife came to check and make sure everything had passed, if not you risk serious infection. Your dr will probably want to check your hcg hormone and make sure it is decreasing. I am so sorry for your loss, we are still coping with ours and feel that time is the only thing that will help us feel 'settled' about the entire experience. We have faith that God has our little guy and there was a reason for us to know him such a short time. It is hard to make sense of something we may never understand, sometimes I still have to ground my thinking and remember my faith and where it lies. Good luck to you and God Bless.

Lora - posted on 07/20/2010

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First of all I am so sorry to hear about this. I have had 2 miscarriages. I have to say to that my body expelled everything afterwards...
I hope you have support for your loss...there are many good websites one is www.Claire'sfriends.org
love to you

Alana - posted on 07/20/2010

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Miscarriages happen a lot more often then people think they do. 1 in 3 pregnancies terminate early.

I also had one at 6weeks while I thought I was closer to 10 weeks. If a fetus is going to stop growing it will usually happen around the 6 to 7 week time b/c that's about the time the heart starts to develop. Without the heart the fetal growth is no longer sustainable and will stop.
I opted to have a D&C done b/c I'd had no cramps, no spotting, no indication that nothing was out of the ordinary and b/c of this there was a greater chance of my body not expelling it naturally.
After my D&C my greatest fear was getting pregnant again. I had no desire too in the slightest. So I started to do research on the subject.
I found out, much to my surprise, that it is actually easier to become pregnant after a D&C then it is at any other time of your life (other then when you're 16/17years old). I went on birth control shortly thereafter.
I also found out that while it may only take your body a month to recover from the miscarriage it will take your mind closer to 3 or 4 months to recover from the loss. And it is a loss. My D&C was done Mar11 2010 and I still feel the loss some days as keenly as I did the day I found out.
Take your time in dealing with the loss, and it is a loss, but know that time really is a healer.
HUG

Laura - posted on 07/20/2010

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thank you!! yes i went to my ob every time. he has a list of blood work for me to get done. so i will get it done. he says 99.9% it comes back showing nothing wrong.so we will see. i guess i keep trying or we just stop and adopt a child.

Melissa - posted on 07/20/2010

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There are tests that can be done, but you may have to see a specialist. Did you go to your OBGYN for each miscarriage? If so, you may need to consider seeing a fertility specialist first. All of their patients are trying to have children unlike an OB who is trying to manage a pregnancy. Some OB's will try to help women who have this difficulty but not all.

That's my best recommendation. Good luck to you and your hopes of another child.

Laura - posted on 07/20/2010

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thank you!! i wish i could understand why i have had 5 in a row. i have one child befor all these but he was soposed to be atwin. they call it the disappearing twin. where it desolves. so i guess i misscarried the other one and my son came out healthy. but since ihave had my son we have had 5 misscarriages. it is soo frustrating and emotional. we just want one more baby. i want to know if there is any test that can be done to prevent misscarriages or to find out what can be done

Reagan - posted on 07/20/2010

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No, but this recently happened to a friend of mine. My thoughts are with you.

Laura - posted on 07/20/2010

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ya ihad the same thing but i wasnt as far as u were. had blood work to confirm pregnancy which was at like 7000 count then i believe 6 weeks later i went in for ultrasound they said the baby isnt measuring up to the date. but there was no bleeding till a week later went in to hospital doc said everything is fine. they did blood work everything is fine then they asked me to comeback the few days later and they did more blood work. the blood work only showed at 9000. so it had only jumped alittle in 6-7 weeks. so that means the baby had died long time ago.i was soo up set . i have had 5 misscarriages in 4 years. it is soo hard . it is soo easy to get pregnant but keeping the baby is sooo hard. dont know why.

Lisa - posted on 07/20/2010

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Yeah, I went through this in late 2002. I started bleeding at work so they sent me home. I still felt pregnant (morning sickness, etc.) so the doctor had an ultrasound performed. Sure enough, there was an expanding uterus but it was empty-looking. I kept that ultrasound picture. My husband was very supportive, but he did not grieve the way I did. The only thing I wish I would have done differently was: I wish I would have let nature take its course. (I had a D&E.) The procedure I underwent was a traumatic experience in and of itself. Something that helped me cope with the loss was naming the baby. Unsure of the gender, I at first used the name "Heavenly Glick." In the end, I decided that it may have been a boy (just a feeling) and so I now call him Caleb Joseph. ♥

Suzie - posted on 07/19/2010

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I feel for you and want you to know that the pain you feel now will lessen, believe me. I suffered the same thing a few months ago and although I still get teary whenever I discuss it, the heart wrenching pain I felt for the first 3 weeks afterwards has definitely lessened (not gone, but I'm no longer uncontrollably sobbing). I was so excited to be pregnant for the second time, and it had taken over 2 years to get there. My baby was fine at 9.5 wks, and then at my 12 wk appt. there was no heartbeat and the baby looked to have died two wks prior, although my body was acting like it still had a healthy fetus. I got a D&C that night. A miscarriage is such an emotional event, and I am so sorry that you have had to experience it. I had a hard time dealing with whether or not I wanted to try again, but I am coming to terms with it. I would certainly be much more regretful if I didn't keep trying, to give my beautiful son a sibling. I'm an older mom, so my clock is definitely ticking. Kindest regards to you and your husband, don't give up hope!

Debbie - posted on 07/19/2010

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I'm sorry for your loss, I have gone though the same thing. I also lost two others. I now have two little boys and my next baby is due in sep. I had a d&c which I found hard. It wasn't like the other two times there was no pain or blood. I found the best way to deal with the loss was to talk to someone about the way my hubby and I felt. Hopefully there's a group near you that you can talk to. It does help to talk to other people who have been through the same thing. Good luck to you and your husband xx

Natasha - posted on 07/18/2010

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yes i have, it is a big shock to your system. i was 13 weeks pregrant with my first child, where i have heart problems i was considered high risk. i went to my ultrasound in the nearest big city, and promptly found out that mty baby had passed away inside of me weeks eailer, and no longer had a hearbeat. i was in complete shock bc my local hospial had done an ultrasound 2 weeks before and had told me everything was great !

Nique - posted on 07/17/2010

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The first time I found out I was pregnant I was shocked!!! My doctor had prescribed an antibiotic to me that stated in the warnings label not to take if you are pregnant. Having read it I realized that I was late for my period, but having never had a normal cycle I, I still didn't think it odd. But just to be sure I went and bought a pregnancy test and sure enough it came up positive. Still I just couldn't believe it. I had been told at a very early age that the possibility of me even being able to conceive were slim to none due to my family history of miscarriages, and and a multitude of other female oriented problems. I also had an orthopedic surgeon tell me that my hips were far too small to ever carry to full term, and that I should expect either complicated pregnancies, multiple miscarriages or infertility. So I of course called my doctor as soon as the test came back positive , and knowing my history she said to take another one as soon as possible and that if it was positive again that she needed to see me ASAP so that we could confirm it via a blood test. I rushed to the nearest CVS , bought another one and as I was actually "taking the test" on the toilet when I felt the strangest thing, so strange that i can't even put it into words. Let's just say it didn't feel right or good. Then I heard a sudden plop into the water and something the size of a small grape literally fell out of my body. I then began bleeding. I called my doctor back before I even got off the toilet, sobbing, and she tried to convince me that my pregnancy had only been chemical, and that whatever I had just passed was nothing more than a blood clot. I had to go in for blood work to test my hormone levels and sure enough they were elevated past what would've been considered a chemical pregnancy(chemical meaning that a heart beat never formed because it was lost before it could develop one). I never wanted to know how far along I actually was and to this day have no idea. By definition, my miscarriage may not actually be a silent one but I grieved like every other mother-to-be that has left a comment here. i was so afraid after it was all over that i convinced my husband that I wasn't meant to carry a child...that my body had killed our child and we started to instead actively pursue adoption, because i honestly couldn't handle it. I wish that I had given myself the time to heal before I came to that conclusion b/c it put such a black cloud over me that it eventually ruined our marriage. But , every cloud has a silver lining and shortly after my divorce I ran into my high school sweetheart, and we are now married and have a beautiful baby girl that is 16 1/2 months old. I will confess that I was put on bed rest and hospitalized for 3 months at 22 wks because my cervix was again failing, but it was worth every minute of it to now have my sweet little Graycie throwing food at me and laughing together while she does it. More than 2 miscarriages makes anyone a high risk pregnancy. My best advice is to express all of your concerns to your doctor...don't be afraid to call if even the slightest thing feels odd to you. Don't obsess over it constantly, or you could do more harm than good, but just be aware of your body. My doctor told me that so many women who are pregnant are so wrapped up in being pregnant that they miss all the little signs or warnings that your body tries to give you that something isn't right. I was guilty of it myself with Graycie even. So I guess what my whole story comes down to is to wait until you are emotionally strong enough to be pregnant again, but also that once you have your doctor's confirmation, get to know your body and even keep a daily journal as to how your are feeling so that you can know everything you need to tell your doctor at each visit. Had I not mentioned at my ultra sound that for the past 24 hours that I was feeling much heavier in my lower abdomen than usual, I probably would've delivered my daughter at 23 weeks. Due to my amazing doctors and the information I could share with them I was able to carry my naughty little princess ;) to 37 1/2 weeks! if I can do it I know that you can do it. I promise you God never takes from you what he won't give back to you. Some little angels just need a little more time in heaven before they are ready to share life with us. And when they are ready they are well worth all the struggle and pain it took to get them here. I never truly knew unconditional love until the day I gave birth, and to know that feeling is a miracle in in of itself! You are in my thoughts and prayers! XOXOX
FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME IF YOU EVER YOU NEED TO

Tara - posted on 07/17/2010

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Yes, it just happened to me. I went in at 8 weeks and it had died at six weeks. I would be eleven now and my breasts are still sore. My doctor was hoping things would resolve itself, but unfortunately that is not the case.

Melanie - posted on 07/17/2010

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i know everyones telling you how sorry they are. and im sorry too. i have had a few miscarriages and it breaks your heart. i wish i had words to make you feel better but i know from experience there just arent any.

Leyla - posted on 07/17/2010

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first of all....i'm sorry for your loss momma and daddy!

secondly and unfortunately yes my husband and i have been there. after the first miscarriage at 6 weeks, i was being heavily monitored.so an u/s at 7 weeks showed a heartbeat and growing baby....the 10 week u/s showed that the heart stopped....i had to have a d&c because my body was showing no signs of miscarriage.

Diana - posted on 07/16/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss!!

We had that happen, also. Between our second and third boys, I had a silent miscarriage. I didn't even know it was possible. Our baby died at about 10 weeks, but I supported (her-I figured that was my baby girl) for another 4 (when I had my ultrasound), and after a 5th week, I asked for a D&C. By that time, there was no 'fetal tissue' left, so I had nothing to bury, which made it harder in a way.

We thought we were going for a routine ultrasound and took our two older boys with us to get their first look at the new baby. My oldest was four then. He was devastated. When I got pregnant again four months later, he refused to go to ANY of the ultrasounds.

The thing that helped me was prayer. Mine, and those of others. All of that, "these things happen for a reason" stuff is well-meant, but hard to hear. Even though I got pregnant again right away after the doctor gave her okay, I still had a hard time dealing with it. Even now, the anniversary of that terrible day (St. Patrick's Day, two days before my youngest one's birthday) was trying for me this year. Give yourself time. If you're not ready to get pregnant again, then wait. If you are, don't let anybody talk you out of it.

I am so sorry for your loss! I will definitely be praying for you! Contact me if you would like to talk.

Shannon - posted on 07/16/2010

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I had what the doctors called a missed miscarriage for my first pregnancy.. I went to the doctors at 13 weeks because I was having bad pains and I found out that I had miscarried at 8 weeks. The pains got so bad that I had to go to the hospital and have an emergency D&C because I was having contractions and losing too much blood. My body was trying to give birth to the 8 week old feotus..

Stacey - posted on 07/16/2010

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Yes have gone thru this so l understand your pain, take care of your self and try when ayOUR ready again

Tracy - posted on 07/16/2010

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My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I was 15 weeks along when the pain kicked in. Bleeding started once I got to the hospital. Shortly thereafter the baby came out. When I asked the nurse if it was a boy or a girl, she said the baby looked to only be 8 weeks in development so she was unable to tell. I had no idea. I was gaining weight and starting to look pregnant. It was devastating. People said all the wrong things, including my boyfriend at the time.(now husband) We can always have another, it wasn't meant to be, it's mother nature's way...I felt incompetent and nearly fell into a depression.
Lean on your husband and don't push him away. I tried to push my boyfriend away (as most who experience this do) but thankfully he wasn't going anywhere.

Lisa - posted on 07/16/2010

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Jamie, I am sorry for your and your husband's loss. If you need someone to talk to, email me and I can send along my phone number. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. Men and women mourn differently, so you may find it more helpful to speak with other's who have been there. May you find some comfort during your time of loss.

Kaitlin - posted on 07/16/2010

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I had a miscarriage like that. I was 18 weeks though. Go in for my first ultrasound and come to find out I was pregnant with identical twins and that they were already dead. I also had an ectopic pregnancy almost a year ago. Unfortunately those "silent" miscarriages are more common than we think. Sorry for your loss.

Suitjie - posted on 07/16/2010

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I wish i could share my lost when i had miscarriages..... i had 3 times silent miscarriages and 1 etopic pragnancy... the last miscarriages in last august .....when my first miscarried, i couldnt believe it, i was shock, the second miscarried, i can accepted it, its nature selection process , then etopic pregnant almost took my life..........So sorry for you ....time will heal your loss then try again......GBU

Kasey - posted on 07/16/2010

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I am sorry for you loss. I too have had a silent miscarriage. I went to the doctor around 10 weeks only to find out that we lost the baby at 6 weeks. We got pregnant again 3 months later and we now have a healthy 2 month old son.

Eileen - posted on 07/16/2010

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I am currently going through my second "silent" miscarriage. The first I was 13 weeks along and the baby had died at week 8. I had a D&C 2 days later. Two and a half years later we had a very healthy 10 lb. baby boy, but it did take us a little while to get pregnant again (we did not have any medical help). I had a 6 week miscarriage in January that I didn't have any problems with and it happened on it's own. Currently we were 9 weeks pregnant when I asked my doctor to do an US b/c of previous history. The fetus was not developing, it was still a sac. This time I did not have a D&C, but I regret that decision totally. My hormones came down very naturally this time, but the heavy bleeding and feeling uncomfortable for several days is not worth it. I am hoping today (day 15) I can finally take my son swimming. Good luck and remember there are many women out there who are like you and can understand what you are feeling.

Candace - posted on 07/16/2010

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I was 19 1/2 weeks when I had a silent miscarriage. I went in for my normal checkup and they couldn't find a heartbeat. That was my first pregnancy and I was devistated since I was so far along. I chose to have them induce me and get my body started on the healing process... as well as myself. My second pregnancy at 9 1/2 weeks also ended in miscarriage, but not a silent one. It took me several years to conceive again, but now I have a 6 year old son who is more of a gift to me than just about anything! My heart goes out to you and hope that you find healing in all ways! Take care.

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2010

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I have had a silent miscarriage but only found this out when I went to a&e because I was spotting after gp hours. They did an ultrasound and All they could find was an empty sac. The baby had died some time previously. I now have 3 wonderful children - 2 boys and a girl! All things happen for a reason! Good luck for the future, I am sure all will be well. xx

Rene - posted on 07/16/2010

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Yes, I did with my first pregnancy. I had gone to the doctor at 8 weeks and saw the baby with a heartbeat on an ultrasound. At my next doctor's appointment, the ultrasound revealed that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had no idea anything was wrong. I was almost 12 weeks and still felt pregnant. I like you was shocked. The doctor estimated that the baby had died a few days before and my body had not yet recognized the baby was gone. I had a D&C. The operation was quick and the physical recovery easy.

I am sorry for your loss. Please know that having one miscarriage does not increase your odds of having another. Unfortunately, miscarriages are common. I wish you strength and peace of mind. Best wishes for a healthy baby in the near future.

Cassandra - posted on 07/15/2010

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Yes I have gone through the same thing except with mine it was twins and they were 20 weeks old.... my body kept telling me that I was Pregnant but all of my pregnancy tests were coming back negative untill I insisted on an ultrasound then the hospital sent me up to emergency surgery to have them removed because if they remained inside my body they would have killed me. just sometimes it wasn't meant to happen is how I looked at it.

Christy - posted on 07/15/2010

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I also have to add that like Brittany, we named our baby. We don't know if they were a boy or a girl, so we named them Tony, which could be either. My Mom and sister did the same. I am also making a scrapbook of such things as the t-shirt I made my daughter saying "I'm the oldest", a picture of my positive pregnancy test, the ultrasound picture, a picture of my little pregnant belly (we show very early in my family), etc. We also are getting a special ornament for our tree. When our kids are older, we will tell them about Tony, and show them the book, and let them know that they have another sibling in heaven, waiting to meet them. Don't let anyone tell you the right or wrong way to grieve. Perhaps because of my exposure to misscarriages, I took it a little easier than some people ( although I def. had to go back on antidepressants) but part of me just felt like... okay, my baby's already gone. Let's get this D & C over with, so that in a few months, I can be trying again, and feel the joy again, not this pain. 9 weeks after the D & C I was pregnant.

Christy - posted on 07/15/2010

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Hi Jamie,
I too had a "silent miscarriage" just a few months ago. A week after Valentine's Day, I went in for a routine 12-week checkup, having already had an ultrasound at 8 weeks, and seeing our little baby move. But something had happened after the ultrasound, and my doctor said it was about 8 weeks that the baby died. It was very hard, but I know that my Mom had 8 miscarriages (including my twin) and 5 healthy children. My sister has also had 2 (again both silent) and is halfway through her pregnancy with what is hopefully her 3rd healthy child. I am 12 weeks pregnant again, and at the checkup this week, the heartbeat was good and strong. One thing to be aware of, is that although it is VERY hard on us, we don't completely understand how the daddy is feeling. This time around, when I got pregnant, my husband really wasn't talking to the baby like he did with my daughter and with the last pregnancy. After talking with him, we realized that he was scared to get too attached. Once everything was fine at the doctor's this week, he's already started talking to the baby more. Remember that God has a plan, and perfect timing for the children you'll have. God bless!

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I had that happen with my first pregnancy. I found out at 10 weeks and the baby had died at 8 weeks. The day after I found out I started to go into basically labor. I then hemorrhaged and had to have an emergency D&C. By the time I had the D&C the baby himself was no longer in my womb. He came out when I had first started to bleed. Nothing like freaking out the EMTs.

My husband and I have even named him. We are saving up for a little grave marker for him.

The worse part of it was when I got pregnant with my daughter. At 4 1/2 weeks I started to bleed just like before. Luckily because of the other baby I was on high alert and we were able to save my daughter.

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