Feeling Alone

Desirae Ann - posted on 12/20/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

2

0

1

My daughter is one month old and ever since we brought her home my husband hasn't really done anything with her or me unless I ask him to. He spends more time on his phone then he does with his family and that really bothers me. He works nights so I understand that he has to sleep during the day but on the weekends I want him to spend time with us. I explain how I'm feeling to him and his response is that he works. I try to tell him that I'm also working 24/7 by myself. He says he'll change what he's doing but the next day he is back to doing what he does. Yesterday I started feeling more mopey and exhausted around the house and Im trying to accept the fact that this is how things are going to be now, but its not easy. Is there anything I can do to make myself and my relationship better?

3 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 12/29/2017

1

0

0

I feel the same way, DD will be crying and I’ll say I think she has a wet diaper to encourage him to at least check but he’ll let her sit there until I go change her. It’s frustrating and I’m trying my best not to feel resentful for him not helping.

Brittany - posted on 12/27/2017

7

0

1

I understand that he needs to work and is tired but you did have a child together and share responsibilities. Its not like it used to be where mom only took care of the kids and dads work. Moms need breaks too. I do not believe this is something just to accept, maybe he doesn't know what to do to help, is this is first child? I know with my husbands and I first it was hard he barely ever helped , but it did get better. Just continue to try to communicate what you need from him to help and hopefully it will sink in.

Michelle - posted on 12/23/2017

4,813

8

3248

No, it's not the way things have to be.
A lot of men are actually scared of newborn babies. They also feel a bit useless if you are breastfeeding as they can't help with that either.
Does he have any family that you can get to talk to him? Do you have a good relationship with his Mother? What is his family like, does Mum do everything and Dad sits around without helping? Children learn how a family should be from their parents. If the Mother stays at home and tends to the every need of every person then that's how he will expect you to be.
Maybe instead of saying how you are feeling, explain it in the way that it took both of you to create this miracle and it takes both of you to look after and raise her. Don't accept the working excuse as everyone in the world does that!!! It's a cop out.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms