Feeling guilty about babysitters

Claire - posted on 04/29/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

118

10

My fiance and I go out maybe once every couple of weeks. I love to spend time with him and I know it's important for our relationship, but I just can't get over the guilt I feel when I leave our baby. It's never longer than three hours and she is with family that she knows, but she still cries for long periods of time (about an hour) when we are gone. Some people have told me this is necessary for her so she isn't so attached in the future, but I don't want her to feel abandoned either. And if she is with family she knows as is comfortable with, why does she still cry and ask for us? All three of us do things together, but it's not the same as seeing your man one on one and not having to worry about the baby. I just feel so bad. I don't want to leave her, but I don't want to sacrifice the only ALONE time I have with my fiance either.

Anyone feel this way? Any suggestions or advice?

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3 Comments

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Keli - posted on 04/30/2011

1,120

5

try not to be upset. its so common for kids to cry when the parents leave.but they get over it pretty fast and get busy playing!

Alicia - posted on 04/30/2011

39

23

It is normal behavior! Every child is going to be upset when their parents leave, it is a part of growing up. You should never feel guilty about leaving your kid so you can enjoy a relaxing evening(I understand being sad, but never guilty), you know that your child is in good hands so there shouldn't be a problem. As Emma said, they get over it.

Jane - posted on 04/30/2011

1,488

32

this is a clingy age anyway as well as teething. go to babycenter.com and open an account. it tells you their milestones week-by-week. so you can see what is normal behavior and you can worry less.
if you have the suppor that allows you to get out together, go and enjoy it. she's fine. our 2 yr old was the same one year ago, she didn't like being left w/my in-laws and now, she'd rather be w/them than us!

Stifler's - posted on 04/30/2011

15,141

154

I love leaving my kid with baby sitters and have no guilt. They cry for 3 seconds and get over it and play. Other people's kids do it at my house then after about 2 minutes they find something to play with and stop wailing.