Misty - posted on 10/10/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )
I'm not really good with this whole thing, but I'm going to put myself out there and hope to not get ripped apart...
I am a 23 year old mother. I have a 2 month old baby boy, and a 4 year old daughter. My husband is military, and we are currently living in Germany. Since I had my daughter I have spent much time in a sense feeling stuck at home.
My husband is a traditional style Mexican that prefers a woman to stay home with the kids. I did a lot with my life before I met my husband, and now I feel as if all of "me" has been dumped into the trash to tailor to everyone else.
Doing nothing with me makes me feel torn apart on the inside. I love my husband, and I love my family. Please do not get me wrong.
Since my husband is the sole provider financially, I am the type of wife that does not like to do things unless he is okay with it. I tend to not go do things, buy things, or anything like that unless he's okay with it.
This however, has led me down the path of what seems to have lost me the most. I used to volunteer, I used to be very social, very active. I love sports, I love dancing, I love parties. I love to do thing's.
I have recently learned just how much I don't do anymore. As a military spouse there are squadron groups. These groups do a variety of things. Events for care packages, social gatherings...etc. There is also the PTA, plus there are playgroups. Well, since we are also a one car family, these are thing's I do not do. I am not part of any groups, I don't really know anyone personally, I'm not close with anyone, and I spend most of my time at home, or out shopping alone.
For the past 4/5 years I have begun to feel very lost in my own life. It's difficult for me to make new friends, and when I do meet people it's the type of friendships that feel more like the occassional get together. There are ppl I talk to frequently online, but once in a blue moon see in person. It's not the type of friendships where you call up and go out to coffee and chit chat. They are friendships that usually have a desired purpose and planned events.
Have any of you ladies felt like you've totally lost yourself? Do any of you feel like you've become nothing more then the wife and the mother? I stay home, I cook, I clean, I tend to the needs of my husband, my son, and my daughter. And lately, I don't even feel that I'm a great mother or wife any more. I don't take my kid to playgroups, we don't have a local park we can walk to. I don't drive her to the park on base. There's so many don't's in my life that I wonder what happened. I used to take my daughter outside to play in the pool. I used to sit and watch shows with her. Take her for walks to the mail box or up the street...
I've lost myself, I've lost my luster, I've lost my drive to be happy and my drive of a great mom...
I need help to get back into being more then the bump on the log that cleans and does homework all the time. My life is about my family...but it needs to be about me too so that I can also become better at being with my family.