Funny things your kids said or did to make you laugh.

Sheila - posted on 01/20/2012

My son, bless is crazy little heart, made an entire room full of adults cry laughing.



We're at my in-laws for New Years dinner and my son (recently turned 4) was playing with his aunt (recently turned 6) and for some reason my son had been saying that EVERYTHING "smells like dirty socks". He picks up one of his aunt's toys and proceeds to tell the whole room that it smelled like dirty socks. I finally asked him: "You have been saying everything smells like dirty socks. Where did you get that from?"

He turns and looks at everyone and tells me "my nipples".

Yvonne - posted on 10/11/2010

23 years ago i was in my car with my then 2 year old daughter, she asked me where we were going, at this i said we were going to aunties, as we were on the way to my sisters for a visit, she got quite upset, i said what on earth is the matter,to which she replied quite seriously "we can't go to aunties,because i've only got one aunty !!" I just adore the simple logic of our childrens minds.

Katie - posted on 09/17/2010

I was in teh kitchen with my 2.5 year old asking her what she was up to. Her response was Daddy and I are smokin' the Bowls. What I asked over and over. Her response was the same. Smokin' the bowls. We are not smoker so I was very curious. Hubby comes in and I ask him, what were you and Em doing? He said smoking out the moles in teh fromt yard

Sarah - posted on 09/17/2010

I put my 2 1/2 yr. old to bed, then after a few minutes she starts to cry and complain that something hurts so I go in to check on her she tells me "mommy I need medicine" I ask her "why" she says "my mouth hurts, there is a crocodile in there!" hmm sounds serious we better wash him down with water. After a drink I ask her "did he taste like chicken?" she look at me like lost my marbles

Lea - posted on 09/17/2010

My 5 year old daughter Brenna spent the night at grandma's house. The next day when grandma met up with us to her back off she said: Brenna was talking about how popular Ana was at school so I asked her, " are you popular too?" Brenna promptly replied. "No, Ana's popular. I'm beautiful." I was shocked at first but I still had to laugh. Guess I don't have to worry about Brenna's self-confidence.

Candi - posted on 09/17/2010

All 3 of my kids are chatterboxes! When my youngest was 3, we were riding in the car and she was trying to talk and my other 2 were talking over her, Shoved her hand up in the air and said "excuse me, I'm talking here!!" It was too funny, but the other 2 stopped talking

Jessica - posted on 09/17/2010

I was tellingmy little girlie that she was rotten when she comes home from spending the day with great grandma, She replyed "I'm not rotten, I'm perfect"... And another time my fiance and our daughter was laying in the bed. It was soooo cute she crawled up in his face and wrapped her arms around his neck and said "your my best friend" Shes only 2.

Sandra - posted on 09/17/2010

you can use mine if you like it :)

Belinda - posted on 09/17/2010

My daughter is 3 today and is the 1 liner queen of comedy LOL.
1. Just hang on a minute I need to talk about it, so dont huff and puff
2.hey brudda come here
3.thatll teach ya
4. Im busy right now.
5. but its a little bit funny

she talks relly well for her age and says stuff every day to make us laugh

Stephanie - posted on 09/16/2010

My boys 5 & 2 were pretty close before my oldest started kindergarden. Now Mason (27m) asks for "his Kaiden" all day long and really looks up to him. However, Kaiden now thinks he is "big" and started to help Mason more than play with him.

Tonight Mason woke up and tried to put some clothes on (something he's never done). He snuck into his brothers room saying "Kaiden help, Kaiden please help." My husband went up to find Mason completely tangled up in his shirt with arms stuck up in the air. Trying to wake up Kaiden so he could help him get dressed.



I went to pick my son up from preschool one day last year and found him trying to kiss a girl behind the teachers back. I tried to explain that you only kiss people in your family and that we could buy chocolate kisses for her. He thought about that and said 'Nah I'll just give her real kisses."

A couple days later I droped him off and 5 girls immediately latched to him and followed him around class, trying to touch him and sit next to him while he was trying to get away. The teacher had to put all the girls in their own sections so Kaiden could chose which one he wanted to play with without getting smothered.



Another time we were talking about babies. My 5yr old says he's going to have lots of babies. I told him "you have to get married first" he said "EEeeww I'm not getting married, I'm just going to have babies. I'll live with you and let you take care of them!"



Sorry couldn't pick just one. Kids are full of cute stuff.



Welcome to use.

Tina - posted on 09/16/2010

i have a few:
one day i put my daughter (13.5 mos at time: 14 mos today) on time out in her pack and play with no toys because she was being naughty. i was in my office which is right across from living room and she looks at me and says "baby mad mama". i think ii laughed for ten mins!!!
then shortly after that my dad was having sausage for dinner (we were at his house), and the rest of us were having hot dogs. he says "grandma you put my sausage in with hotdogs" so my baby said "sausage" the way she said it was so cute.
also if she knows shes done something naughty she will look at me say "oh-oh" and throw her head between her hands as if trying to hide
when she does something shes proud of (putting toys in box, or going potty on potty chair) she will wait for you to clap and then she will clap and laugh
just yesterday i was folding laundry shortly before bed. she was playing with her baby doll. she lays the baby in the basket, covers it up, pulls a book out and opens it pretending to read (baby jabber) closes book tries to sing kisses her doll and says "goodnight mama love" which is pretty much our bedtime routine except she didnt pray before "goodnight mommy loves you"
and my ultimate favorite: when i get home from school or work she will push whoever is watching her away (grnadma, daddy, or daycare) open her arms and walk as fast as possible to me and hug me

Toni - posted on 09/16/2010

My favorite funny memory of my son Dragen (22months) would have to be a conversation he had with Daddy.

Dad: Are you being a good boy?

Dragen: Yeah!

Dad: You promise you've been a good boy?

Dragen: ......No

Tiffany - posted on 09/16/2010

My daughter (then 4 years old), and at the time, she was learning about how plants grew in preschool. We were driving down the road one day, and she said, "Mommy, do you know why that tree isn't growing?" I asked her why... she said, "Cause it has no water." I then asked her, "Do you know what makes us grow?" And she replied, "Birthdays... DUH!!!"

At about age five, we were eating dinner at a restaurant that had music playing... and a particular song came on. She said "I like this song!" I said, "So do I... you must have good taste." She replied very seriously, "Why, cause you been biting on me and stuff?" It was sooo funny =)

Beth - posted on 09/15/2010

I published the second funny story articl, it also has a hillarious baby laughing video. It says still loading , but if you double click it will play, so funny. Enjoy!
http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-fl...

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2010

i posted previously. Feel free to use them if you want.

Pamela - posted on 09/15/2010

i was sitting at the computer listening to music about a month or so ago when my 2 yr old son walked up and started to sing alone to beyonces "single ladies" and dance around the room it was so cute

Liana - posted on 09/15/2010

When one of my boys was 3 we went swimming with his female cousin who was also 3. In the changing room he gasped in horror and shouted at the top of his lungs "Mummy, Phoebe's tiddler has fell off!" My sister and I cracked up, then had to explain the difference between boys and girls :)

Carolann - posted on 09/14/2010

Hi Beth, forgot to add, fine to publish any stories I send in. Regards Carolann

Carolann - posted on 09/14/2010

I was at kindergarten with my nearly 4 year old daughter and my 8 month old son. I was sitting breastfeeding my son when another child in the kindy came up and asked "what you doing", to which I replied "I'm feeding my baby". Oh he said and went out to play. After the breastfeed, my son enjoyed a can of egg custard. I cleaned him up and popped him into the pushchair. The same boy returned and the asked "what did you feed your baby" to which I replied, "first milk, then egg custard". He stood obviously in deep thought for a few seconds and then asked "Which booby was the egg custard in". I laughed till I cried!

Kelly - posted on 09/14/2010

My friends' toddler-boy came and set next to her while she was breast-feeding the new addition and lifted his shirt and put a doll to his tummy and mimicked the feeding... That was funny! Particularly him being a boy and thinking it was from the tummy (not breast), LOL. It's so sweet watching children come to understand their world!

Chesnie - posted on 09/13/2010

We live in Oklahoma and were watching the OU/Florida state game on TV and my 15 month old daughter pointed to an OU football player and said "dada"..I cracked up, my husband looked at me and said "you have some explaining to do"..So after that of course everytime she saw a player she pointed and said "dada"



Ok to publish

Shaquim - posted on 09/13/2010

my 4 yr old came in my room yesterday and says to me mama can we go some place i ask him where do you want to go and he says i dont know bowling go play kickball go play baseball and basketball but first go bowling so i ask him do you have bowling money and he answers no but daddy do in his special wallet!!!

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2010

when my son gets upset he will sit there count to 3 than say mommy go to your room now your in big trouble...or he will say go to your room and go to bed right now....comming from a 4yr olds mouth and hes laughing its pretty funny...

Arryn - posted on 09/12/2010

Our third baby is due to come any day now and my seven year old son recently asked...without malice, I might add......."why is Mom's butt growing so much if the baby is growing in her tummy?" I laughed so hard it hurt! :)

Suz - posted on 09/12/2010

i remember when my daughter was around 3 or 4, it was a lovely summer and i didnt have much money so i asked my mum if i could borrow some money for a nice pool for the garden. my mum lent me the money, i got a lovely pool and her and her brother was playing in it all week. i went with the children to my mums house, she had quite a few friends there at the time and she said to my daughter have you got a lovely pool at your house? my daughter said no, over the next couple of hours lots of people asked her do you have a new pool at your house and she kept saying no! my mum asked her again as we was leaving and she said no again, then she said i do have a new pool in my garden but i dont have one at my house

Noel - posted on 09/11/2010

after a relaxing evening i bathed my boys and laid with them to put them to sleep.after putting Eli (my 4 month old) in his bassinet i cuddled his older brother Beau. feeling at peace and at ease i began to sing him lullabies softly....in the shadows of the nightlight i saw that he sat up in bed,he turned to me and said "mama". "yes,son", i replied.then he said "ssssshhhhhhhhh".i laughed and was quiet after that.

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2010

Okay! We are a Christian family, albeit you might call us non-practicing. We say grace before meals and let the boys say it....which becomes rather interesting at times. Sometimes it's like being at a pentecostal church.....one boy says grace and the now 4 year old - repeats what he says every few words....so Jesus becomes Cheese or Beach. The nicest thing about the eldest saying grace, and we've not taught him this (he's not been to church or sunday school since he was little and we've been bad instructors)
- he always starts off with "Dear Jesus, have a great day...."

But the funniest thing was when he came to me and he told me that Jesus is real! I looked at him and I said "I know, but how do you know?" Oh - Jeremy Clarkson said so - HE SAID HE SAW HIM ON TOP GEAR! Jesus lives where Top Gear is!" ( and yes - he did shout it at me, very excited) (Top Gear - in case you didn' know coz I don't know where you are is a UK Car show)

Feel free to use

Mary - posted on 09/11/2010

Last night I was talking to my husband. My two year old little girl came up and asked to watch Arthur. I told her just a minute. And not more than a minute later she came back and said "Stop it, mommy, stop it. Listen. Want to watch Arthur?"

Carolann - posted on 09/10/2010

I went to the Zoo with my children and when we got to the turtle enclosure, one of them was partially on top of the other. Of course I knew what was going on, but my then 8 year oled son looked at the enclosure and said "All that room and he couldn't go around?" Myself and other parents nearby were cracking up to ourselves!

Carly - posted on 09/10/2010

Ok. I will share my story. My Mother was visiting one time and I was sitting on my bed with my daughter who was 3 at the time. On the TV came a very hot actor and I said "Mom, You have to come and see this guy. He is so Yummy!" My daughter turns to me in a serious tone and states "Mom, we don't eat people!"

My favorite by far!

Beth - posted on 09/10/2010

Hey everybody, I am loving this thread! I just published the first article including some of the stories here, and some from other sources. http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-fl...
I would love your feed back, thanks for all the laughs.
Also, if I am allowed to use your funny story you can message me here or facebook me. :)

Liwah - posted on 09/09/2010

Hi! Just a few days ago, I was telling my 20 months old son off for being naughty while we were in the kitchen. As I was going on and on, he stuck a finger in each ear and started singing and walked towards the sitting room, pretending he couldn't hear me, I guess...I'd have laughed if I wasn't the one nagging, haha! Juz wondered where he learnt that from...

Sandi - posted on 09/09/2010

My oldest son was staying the night with his grandparents. My mom was making pepper relish and asked my son to taste it for her. He said "no my dad will" so my mom asked " do you think your dad has the balls to taste the hot peppers?" my son looked at her and said " No he got fixed" I thought it was very funny. Sorry if it is not appropriate.

Brandi - posted on 09/09/2010

When my daughter Emily was first born I was changing her diaper while my step son who was 7 or 8 years old at the time was watching..He asked me very seriously "what happened to her penis?" " I was what do you mean"? He said" she doesn't have a penis" " Of course not Sam, Emily is a girl so she has girl private parts and not boys".Sam looked confused and said " I thought everyone had a penis." I was laughing because I had no clue he didn't know.. My own son I explained this too when he was like 3 years old and was like 9yrs old at the time.. So I just assumed Sam new..

Another time my oldest son Nik was waiting in the car with my friend Dani while I ran inside to change my clothes.. I come back to the car and she is beat red in the face.. She was like your son just told me " boys have penis's and girls have a vagina, Dani do you have a Vagina?" She handled it very well..by saying "Yes I do, so does Chevell and your mommy" I couldn't help but laugh.. I was like " Sorry, Dani he just watched Kindergarted Cop yesterday with my parents." Its so funny that that was the part he remembered..

Brandi - posted on 09/09/2010

My daughter said the same thing when she was three and at four she still says it..

User - posted on 09/09/2010

My four year old is the best out of my two at saying things that make us laugh... if one of them ask me a stupid question, I usually say "I don't know and I don't care." Now the other day one of them said something and I said I don't know and my 4yr old piped up "and you don't care." lol

Sara - posted on 09/09/2010

My daughter is eight years old.. I was cooking dinner and my 3 month old started fussing. I asked my eight year old to hold her for me until I finished. She was standing in the kitchen with me holding the baby. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, I wish Ashton was a magnet so I could just stick her to the refridgerator." lol

Brandi - posted on 09/09/2010

Thats funny.. My four year old is aways saying funny stuff too..It makes you want to mount a video carmera..so it can catch just half of it on tape..

Brandi - posted on 09/09/2010

My daughter Emily( 4yrs) was being quite the pest bugging her brothers while they tried to do their homework.. I kept telling her to leave them alone. Finally she did, but I heard her making lots of noise shuffling through stuff and I was like " Emily, what are you doing?" her reply was "Ummm-- Fighting Cavaties" I laughed so hard.. she was chewing gum..

Candi - posted on 09/09/2010

One Labor day a few years ago, my then 6 and 7 year olds were arguing about the holiday. My 7 yr old son said "its a day off for people who work, unlike Mom." I was a SAHM. I just rolled my eyes and my 6 yr old daughter said "you are so wrong. Its a day when a lot of babies are born. Thats why its called Labor Day!". I am so glad I had parked the car by this point. Now my 5 yr old is our comic relief. She is always saying funny things...so many I can't even recall anything specific. Everything she says is sarcastic and hilarious.

Beth - posted on 09/09/2010

I love it. It is so fun to hear all these stories. :)

Ink - posted on 09/09/2010

Twin 8 year old girls...playing together at the kitchen table. I hear the conversation from behind them....

Brooke says, "Ew, BRANDI! get your finger out of your nose!"

Brandi says, "but there's something IN there!"

Brooke says, "DUH! Its your FINGER!"





My best friend's son told me years ago, he wants to be a train conductor when he grows up and he's going to be a farmer on the side.

Danielle - posted on 09/09/2010

I was able to catch this on video too! I went to my sister's bachelorette party and I brought home one of those headbands with a pink penis and testicles with a happy face on it home. My son found it and put it one and then he took his "Mr. Potato Head" rolling pin and used it as a wand. He waved it around with the penis crown on and said " Abracabra make a wish"!! He was the fairy godmother! I have never laughed so hard in my life! He is three years old.

Sal - posted on 09/09/2010

ohh and one i forgot, poor dad had been trying to use the time out technique with our eldest one day while i was out, when i came home and asked what they had got up to my eldest piped up as happy as could be that she had been playing "naughty corners with dad but he wasn't very good as he kept losing" poor dad...

Sal - posted on 09/09/2010

kids are just so funny....my little one has started to refer to herself as "my big self" which is pretty hard to take seriuosly, and my 3 year old has always wanted to be a help in the kitchen...her fav spot was right in front of the cupboard door so when ever i needed something i would say "ohh you are in the road" so she started calling the corner of the kitchen "my road" and if she would always tell people if they dared to go into her corner "you're in my road" and recently we were away for a few days staying in a motel, during the day the girls had their photo taken my a local newspaper for a story, the next day it was in the paper and they were both very excited, as we were walking back to our room after breakfast all the papers had been delivered ingrid (3) said "oh look the motel has given everyone a paper so they can see us..."

Heidi - posted on 09/08/2010

On the morning of Kindergarten registeration I offered to get coffee for the girls in the office...my son and I took the orders and set off to the coffee shop...after returning and handing out the coffee to each one..including a Hot Chocolate for my son...it was his turn for his Kinder interview and test...after hearing his name called he picked up his cup and started into the room (no parents beyond the door) I offered to hold it for him to which he replied "I'll need my coffee in my meeting Mommy"...needless to say the entire office broke into laughter...after some fast talking he left his cup with me, went to "his meeting" and is now enjoying his Kindergarten year!!

Miranda - posted on 09/08/2010

I asked my 4 year old daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up. She replied, "a Rock Climber". Then I asked her, "What happened to being a Firefighter?" She then stated, "I so got over that."

Paulette - posted on 09/08/2010

I told my son not to jump in or out of the car many times before. So one day we were getting in the car after a shopping trip. I said "Hop in, let go!" He said" No, I might hurt myself"
Another time, we were all eating supper. My son didn't like what we were having so he was just sitting there. I was buttering bread for myself and asked him if he wanted bread with anything on it. I asked him this because he doesn't always want buttered bread, just plain. His reply was "Yeah, turkey!"

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

my 4 year old son kept saying he had nipples and boobies so my husband tryed to tell him mommys have nipples boys have pecks somehow he got the 2 mixed up and now when in the shower he is washing his pimples the first time he said that i was laughing so hard i had to leave the bathroom to get daddy to show him what he had tought our son.... also when potty training we were on our way home one afternoon we live about 45 min from any big town we were on a country road and he said his peanuts were growing which ment he had to potty i pulled into a feild inlet so he could potty on the side of the road no sooner as i got him out of the car and pulled down his pants a sheriff officer came out of nowhere to see if we were broke down my son turned around still relieveing himself and screamed "HI MR OFFICER" i was mortified the sherriff said it looked like we had things under controll threw his belly laughing with tears running down his face and then stoped traffic so we could get back on the road

Elysia - posted on 09/08/2010

my son was laying in bed with my partner and i the other morning and his daddy got up to have a shower, when he stripped off he was met with a ver disgusted eeewwwwwwww from our son. What else could u do but laugh :)