Get tubes tied or wait and see?

Priscilla - posted on 02/11/2011

I would wait. You can always get birth control that can last up to three years to prevent a pregnancy in the meantime. But your entire life can change in a day, so never block your opportunity for what the future may hold.

CA - posted on 02/11/2011

Post a reply!I would advise not only to wait... but to never get this surgery done. Like you said, you may feel one way now, but you have NO way of knowing what the future will bring you and how you will feel down the line.
You may feel that "done: feeling now, which is understandable going through your fourth pregnancy. However, as another mom stated, 3 children truly is not so many. Of course, our society will make you feel that way because our society is very anti-life. And very pro-autonomy. However, I assure you, if you trust God, even just a little, you will not be disappointed with the life he gives you, whether or not that means more children.
If you do get pregnant again, somewhere down the line, you WILL find the grace to handle it. It's strange, but it's true! Like, when you have one kid, you think, man this is a lot of work, I can't handle another. And then you have a second, and does the world end? No, you somehow make it work!! And then the third child comes, and you make it work. All the while, these beautiful amazing little kids are bringing so much joy to your life, joy you would not have experienced if they weren't there!
A good friend of mine is one of 13 children, and she says it was the greatest, most enriching upbringing imaginable. She learned to deal with so many different kind of personalities (excellent preparation or the 'real world'), how to be patient and compassionate, she learned facts and information from her siblings' interests that she wouldn't have been exposed to otherwise, etc.
Now, I'm not suggesting you go out and have yourself 13 kids, I'm just saying, you may be truly blessed in the future by more children, and if you are, you WILL find the grace and strength to raise them. And you will love them and think "I couldn't imagine my life without you."

Jennifer - posted on 02/10/2011

Honestly, at your age, I would wait to get your tubes tied. I am 32, and have four children - 13, 2y.o. twins, and 7 mos. - and got my tubes tied when my youngest was born. I wish now that I hadn't. I feel now that I was pressured to have them tied, and making that decision while I was pregnant wasn't the best thing for me to do. Though I am sure that I don't want any more children, I dislike not even having the option if for whatever reason I would change my mind. I had the option of having a hysterectomy when I was 25, as I have a long history of female issues, and just couldn't bring myself to do it - not because I wanted more children, because at that time I did not want any more, but because I didn't want to not even have the option to try. I suggest that you wait until your child is at least 6 months old before you make the decision - I see no reason to wait 4 years. At that point you should know for sure as to whether or not you want to have the procedure done, or do something else to prevent pregnancy.
Good luck to you!

Karen - posted on 02/09/2011

I was 27 when I had my 3rd child(it was number 6 for my husband). I knew I was done having kids. I went ahead and had the tubal while having my c-section. I don't regret my decision at all. Kids are expensive. Sometimes think if I knew then what I know now I would have stopped at 1. I hope you find peace in whatever you decide.

Mary - posted on 02/09/2011

Don't do it I'm 27 I tied mines 6 yrs ago and I regret it cause now that my kids are older I want another kid. Wait don't do it out of frustration like I did wait at lease 4 yrs before you make a choice. I to was 100% at the time when I did it.

Laura - posted on 02/08/2011

Lots of different thoughts, suggestions, ideas. In OUR situation, we tried for a baby & got preggo the 1st mos. Our preemie, colicky, DS was 4 mos old when I found out I was a mos preggo w/ our DD. =P I was done at 1. I adore & am so glad we had our 2nd. She is the light of our lives, & we spoil her rotten. lol I was 28, almost 29 w/ my 1st, 29, almost 30 w/ my 2nd. I wanted to be 'done' by 30, but never dreamed it would happen when we conceived our 1st when we were 28. lol

Honestly, only YOU know how you feel. Only YOU know if you are finished, or could possibly want more. I, myself, got 'fixed' (my doing) after my DD. It was the worst pain ever, but, I'm okay. I still don't want another, ever. My hubby offered to get 'snipped', but, I heard my 'fix' was better (not I read not so much oyi!) , so I told him I'd do it.

We have a brilliant 7yo 2nd grader DS, & a tall, tall, skinny, social, 6yo, K DD. My kids are 12 1/2 mos apart in age, but 2 years apart in school w/ our cut off. It works for us. I agree w/ others, make sure you are 100% for sure done. I was asked that alot before my procedure. Even though, yes, I am. I'm still done. No baby fever, not even a milli-ounce. lol

Patricia - posted on 02/08/2011

i think your doc may be alittle right on this subject. Sometimes we think that we've had ur share of babies and that may be true more so when your 7 months pregnant and have 2 beautiful young ones already. but i think making a discussion that is lasting should be one that u make when your hormones are not out of wack. Like ur doc said there are so many opions out. I to was going to have my tubes tied after my 3 childbut for some reason i didn'tand i am so happy i didn't. 14 years after my youngest GOD blessed us with a whole new beautiful life. Her name is REBEKAH. and after having her my husband took on a role that he never had before" A all in father" he completely made me fall in love with him all over again. Bekah and her Dad are as close as a child and parent can get. they do everything together. I thank God everyday for helping me to decide on not getting my tubes tied back them. He gave us the most precious gift anyboby could give. So just think about waitting a little longer till your boby is back to somekind of normal before u make a discussion that will last forever. Just remember that what ever u do it is the right choice for u and ur husband. All my prayers, Agape Patty

Nancy - posted on 02/08/2011

I really would make sure tha is what i wanted 100%. I had my done after my third child. And now knowing I do not even have the option to have another upsets me. I feel as though i was more pressured by my parents and fiance to have it done than more me wanting it. I would suggest the 5year birth control implant and after those 5 years if you still feel the same than go for it.

Erin - posted on 02/08/2011

OH dear, this is such an emotional, difficult situation. I'll tell you our story and it may help.
Both my pregnancies were complicated. My first was born at 25 weeks due to an incompetent cervix. Luckily he survived and is as healthy as ever with no complicaitons (miracle baby). For my second I had a stitch put in but ended having a sudden onset of ecclampsia at 34 weeks and almost died myself. This scared both me and my husband so he got a vasectomy and I was schedualed to get a procedure called essure where there is no such thing as reversal. A lot of the doctors agreed due to our fears. So my husband got his vas. and I went to get my pre op for the essure. But the one doctor who would be doing my procedure said that now that we know what all my pregnancy issues are that I could have a safe pregnancy if we just keep and close eye on me and are diligent. Well, blah. I've always wanted at least three children and my husband too so I'm going to cancel my procedure and my husband is going to get a reversal in the next couple of years. I would probably have 5 or 6 children if I could. Were only in our mid 20's so we have time. But the longer my husband waits to get a reversal the less of a chance pregnancy is since with the sperm being cooped up for so long makes them wankey and less motile. If you can still have babies with no life threatening complications then stay fertile, please. You will never know how you will feel even the next day after the procedure. I hope this helped ;)

Jessica - posted on 02/07/2011

I would do it. I am only 24 and i want them tied so bad, but they absolutely will not do it because of my age and the fact I only have one. I am settling for a IUD. Every one says you will change your mind, but you know whats in your heart.. no one on here, not your dr. or your husband. do what is right for YOU.

Alyssa - posted on 02/07/2011

I got my tubes tied, but I am almost 34. If you can, try to get your partner to have the surgery. Its much easier on and for them than it will be for you!

Deb - posted on 02/07/2011

I have an IUD and I love it. It works well -- the price was right -- they are 99% effective -- it's reversible -- it lasts for 10 years -- no side effects to speak of (in my case anyway). I'm 34 and about 99.9% sure I don't want more, but I'm also not quite sure I want my tubes tied yet. I would highly recommend an IUD.

Miranda - posted on 02/07/2011

My husband and I decided that since my pregnancies were hard on me that he would get a vasectomy. My daughter was 6 months old when we did. She is now 5 and her brother about to turn 7. Some days I am in tears for not being able to have any more. So be certain, very certain, cause I long for another baby and no longer have the choice unless we adopt. With our current finances that isnt possible.

Christi - posted on 02/07/2011

If it were me, I would wait. I have the Mirena IUD and I love it. There is almost no chance of me getting pregnant with it in and since it has stopped my periods it would take a grace of God for me to get pregnant. You might be ready now, but just wait and see where you are at at 30. I have seen several people that regret doing it so young, even though they felt there were done.

Tracy - posted on 02/07/2011

I have 4 kids, and after baby #4 I got my tubes tied. Worst choice ever I think. Since my last baby(6.5 years ago) my Husband and I have split. I truly wanted more kids, but my hubby didnt. However I was a csection, so it was "easier" as he put it for me to get fixed. I later regretted it, it played on my pyhsicy a little too. What ifs came to mind often. I would love to have more kids, but now im looking at expencive procedures to do so. When really the person who wanted to be sure to never have any more kids didnt do anything himself to prevent it. We are now seperated, moved on with our lives. I have a new bf, which now thinking about it I would have at least liked to have the option to have a baby with him. My ex is still straight on he doesnt want anymore, but I told him I would be so upset if he got to have more kids and I didnt because he didnt want anymore.
I definatly say try alternative things. IUDs are pretty good I hear. I wouldnt get the shot, I had terrible side effects to that one. ive also heard good and bad things about the patch.
I say wait!!

Ellen - posted on 02/06/2011

I'm 27 and I had my tubes tied last year my husband and I have 4 kids 2 from his previous marriage and 2 of our own I made the decision because I know financially we could not support another child and I made the decision knowing that someday I would want another baby and it was the hardest thing to do but I also knew that if the time comes that we could have another child there are so many babys out in this world that dont have mothers and we would be more than happy to adopt I think you just need to sit down and decide for yourself you are the only one that can decide whats best for you my sister in law has had her tubes tied since she was my age also and she is extremely happy with the 2 kids she has so its what is best for you and only you can decide that

Pilar - posted on 02/04/2011

same situation here!! but decided NOT TO DO IT after doing some research on it! So, If you're considering a tubal ligation, spend some time researching tubal ligation side effects before you commit. It's extremely important that you are aware of the risks involved before deciding to have the surgery. Tubal reversal is possible, but it can be expensive unless you find the right tubal surgeon and may not be covered by medical insurance. Tubal reversal is also a second major surgery, with it's own side effects and recovery time, though short with the right surgeon. When it comes to your fertility, there are no easy answers, so be sure to research your options thoroughly.

Melinda - posted on 02/04/2011

i had my tubes tied due to medical problems and wish i didnt have too. at the same time three of my friends had theres and they were sure ... now two years later they all wish they had not .. in short i would go iud!

Sally - posted on 02/04/2011

My hushband and I have 3 kids 7,6,and 3 to girls and a boy. My third was a c section and I had my tubes tied. My hushband and I had discussed it before hand and we decided three would be a good number plus I had troubles carring to term my last two where both just past the 36 wk mark. We have know talked more and we decided that if and when we want another one we will adopt. There are som amny children out there with out even the basic things. Yes I know that cost money and such but I always have wanted to adopt a child and give them as much love as I could give and raise them as our own.

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2011

I got my tubes tied a yr and a month ago, got them done when i was 23 and only have one child, my ob set up the appt for me to get them done, never told me i had to wait, maybe try to find a dif ob to help you out, i have never been happier with gettin them tied, it was the best choice for me

Amber - posted on 02/03/2011

Hi there! I was in your shoes about two and a half years ago, only I was 29. I had a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and I was pregnant with our youngest. It was also my 4th pregnancy as well. I had a miscarriage between our first and second little guys. I was beyond done and really wanted my tubes tied. However, I didn't end up getting it done, and I'm glad. Now that I'm not as hormonal and tired, I 'm pretty sure I'm done, but I may want another one in the future. I have the Mirena and thought that it would give me a good 5 years to make up my mind for sure. With all that being said, I don't think you should have to wait for a magical age to be able to decide you are done having children. That is up to each woman/couple to decide.

Corina - posted on 02/02/2011

I am in the same situation, I have 4, 3 and now a 8 month old..I don't want anymore children right now..but my hubby has second thoughts and so do I so I got the IUD for five years to make sure I will be 34 years old so I know by than if I still don't want any children than I will get my tubes tide.

Ronnie - posted on 02/02/2011

I can understand where ur coming from with this because me and my OB where discussing if I should tie my tubes being that I pregnant with my 3rd but I'm only 25 (will be 26 in March). But also I'm a bit scared to tie my tubes also, so my other OB said that if thats how I feel then I should look for another alternative, so we discussed an IUD. I guess it depends on how sure u are being that u should be 100% sure if thats what u want to do. Pray on it and the answer will come to u.

User - posted on 02/02/2011

i would wait, im a mother of 5 children and im 26 aswell and i have the iud because you never know if u want more kids and plus you have 5yrs to make up ur mind . but in the end it is your choice and you have to do what you think is best for you and ur body

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2011

i would never do anything permanently until im prob about 40 yrs old but even then im not sure. but you are young still i would def wait until you hit 30 and see then if you still want your tubes tied. but get the iud so there is no chance of you getting pregnant again unless you want to and take it out. im 21 with a 17 month old and im 4 months pregnant and if i find out i am having a boy cuz my first was a girl i say im done but im young still and i mite want 1 more once my first 2 hit like 5 yrs old. after my 2nd i am def getting an iud cuz my bf and i def couldnt afford having 3 kids anytime soon yet having 2 is going to be hard. but def make sure you have your mind 100% made up if you do get ur tubes tied. good luck and congrats!!!

Kathy - posted on 02/01/2011

It is a very hard and a personal choice sometimes I think it is always best not to make these choices when your pregnant I have always waited until my baby is a year to see how I feel I never thought I would have 9 children I had 2 girls and then 2 boys I thought I had the perfect family. then 4 more boys and a girl came and I would not trade any of them for the world 26 is young I am only 36 and making life changing choices are hard I have friend who have tide their tubes at a young age and are great full and other that wish they would have had 1 more baby. Take some time to think about it most women when they are pregnant say they are done. Enjoy your pregnancy.

Geni - posted on 02/01/2011

I am now 50 years young, with a 10 year old from my 2nd marraige, and am SO glad I waited until after HE was born, so I am in agreement with the "wait and be absolutely positive, no matter what.".
To Laura C - in my 1st marraige, I had 4 children very close together, and now they are all grown and having grandbabies! Is so awesome!!! However... #'s 1, 2, & 3 were all C-sections, then I had a "VBAC" (vaginal birth after C-S) with both #4, then 11 yrs later, my 10 yr old son! So don't anyone let the doctors swear to you that "once a C, always a C" ... God is much bigger than that! :-)
!

Jenny - posted on 02/01/2011

I had my first son at 17 and he will be 16 next month. I also have a 11 and 6 yr old. I did get my tubes tied. I felt it was the right thing for me to do. I haven't ever regretted it. It did take some thinking on my part and my husbands. But I chose to do so because I felt my family was complete. Good lucku

Crystal - posted on 02/01/2011

Melinda, I hope this helps I was diagnosed with a endometriosis and told I would never have kids. I have 2 now and wouldn't change a thing. I have been asking my doctor about tying my tubes, removing my ovaries or just removing it all. I have tried everything to the IUD is great although my husband said he could feel the string. I would suggest the IUD after having this one the can place it shortly after you last baby. I now am trying other treatments that shut down the reproductive system as the pain is unbareable at times. What I am getting at is talk you husband into doing it as I am now. My last OB appointment i went to I asked why she keeps telling me to wait we have both done research and have come to find out that the younger you do it the more health risks later on in life. From heart health, early menopause, major headaches, not to mention weight gain and so on . You are only 26 they won't even do it on me till I am 35 I am 31. I say let them scrafic something we had the kids, plus it's is way easier for them. They can basically go back to work the next day and we are laid up longer. You already have enough on your plate. If you feel now that you don't want anymore kids I am sure you will fill this way later.

Juleen - posted on 02/01/2011

i got my tubes tied after my last child when i was 31. initially we had definately decided that this was our last child so my partner was going to have a vasectomy but when i went to visit the doctor the first time she asked me how many children i had and if we wanted anymore when i told her we already had 2 boys and this was the last she offered for me to get my tubes tied because i was having a c-section already. it did throw me for a loop because we were certain my partner would get it done but having talked and cried and discussed it i decided to go ahead but we really talked and discussed it throughly and i have to say i have no regrets my baby is nearly 2 now and i have no inkling for another one all i will say to you is make absolutely sure that it's what you want be more than absolutely sure and good luck :)

Andrea - posted on 02/01/2011

I don't know much about this but I personally want the iud, one I am kinda far from 30! Lol I. Have 10 years to go I do want another child but my mom got her tubs tied and her period is very heavy now, like a huge tamp and pad in an hour max, some of her friends is the same way, I wuld ask ur doctor what the stats are on that but yeah, some iud can last for 12 years. Personally I wuldnt do anythiing permanant cuz there are other options that can last a very long time, but if ur sure you're sure lol :)

Raquel - posted on 02/01/2011

i say you should wait, were women we like to change our minds! alot..lol theres now harm in waiting to see if you get to the age where your secure about not having another one PERIOD!

Corinne - posted on 02/01/2011

I think there are so many more options than there were before. Even if you do not want more children... it's surgerical procedure you will have to recover from. I got a 5 yr. IUD after I had my second and was on bedrest because first and second were too close together and I didn't want to risk it happening again. There is also a 10 yr IUD. That way you can go 10 yrs without pregnancy and spare yourself the surgery and possible side effects of tubes tied- if for some reason you do want more kids it can be removed. In the end just do what is best for you... but do your research.

Sammie - posted on 01/31/2011

My situation is different to yours, I am 22 with a 20 month old n baby #2 due next week. I want my tubes tied. No one will do it. Both my pregnancies have been awful and I truly don't want to put my body through it again. I'm happy with 2. So is my partner who is 28. It was suggested to us as an alternative that he have the snip. I won't let him. Why? What if we split? Irrespective of my meeting someone else, I'm still not going to want to put my body through hell again, whereas he may want more children with a new partner. I think if you are adamant bot to have more children then go have the surgery done. I think waiting 4 years "just in case" if you are sure now is silly. What if you fall pregnant and you know in your heart you don't really want another pregnancy?

All my rambling aside, if you need to ask strangers advice, I don't think you are 100% sure you want it done.

Best of luck!

Sandra - posted on 01/31/2011

My advice is don't do it!! I had my tubes tied after my 4th child, which now was almost 5 years ago, and I regret it every month. Meaning my period is extremely heavier as well as very intense cramping and my moodiness is much, much worse. Not to mention the tiredness. Give this some serious thought. I wish I would of had someone inform me of all the aftereffects of having a tubal ligation. They are not worth it. My advice try another form of birth control. Or seriously think of the boyfried/husband getting fixed instead. Hope this info helps.

Zuleyka - posted on 01/31/2011

I think you should tie ur tubes if that's what you want I mean its your decision and you choose what you want not them so go for it and make sure itsz what you and your boyfriend want

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2011

I am 25. I have a son who will be 6 in March, a daughter who will be 4 in May, and I just had twin boys in October (we were trying for our last ONE lol). When I found out I was having twins I asked my ob-gyn for two things: a c-section and a tubal. I was 24 when I decided this. They always tell you to wait, but if you are sure then do it. I know I don't want more kids, but there is the question test if you are uncertain. My doctor has used this technique for a while and I think it works. If you can answer no to this question, then I would follow through with the tubal, "If anything ever happened to any of your children, would you consider replacing them?" Good luck!

Renee - posted on 01/31/2011

I would do what you want. We have two autistic girls, age 2 and 3. I decided I didn't want more kids. I wanted to get fixed, but because of my reproductive issues I had some serious risks. My husband ended up getting his tubes tied. It took me a long time to be okay with it. But in the end it came down to my risk factors, not about the possibility of changing my mind. Had he not be so willing to get the procedure, and not wanting me to put myself at risk. I would have done it myself. BTW, I am 25!

Jeannette - posted on 01/31/2011

Do all the research and talk with your boyfriend and doctors about it. In my honest opinion, I don't think I would ever get my tubes tied, mainly because it is an invasive surgery.

Dawn - posted on 01/31/2011

It's YOUR BODY, your mind so, you should know what you want to do. You do need to be 100% sure though.

Cassie - posted on 01/30/2011

I would say go with your gut. If you are having doubts about a permenant (yet reversible) surgical method of birth control talk to you insurance company and see if they cover the IUD and at what percentage. My sister was able to have it paid for in full after meeting her yearly deductible with all the doctor bills from her pregnancy/birth. Its a semi-permenant soultion so if you did change your mind it would be easier for you. Just a thought, good luck!

Maijken - posted on 01/30/2011

I say do what feels right in your heart. if you know you're done, do it. I had mine done when i was 28 after my 3rd child was born. I used to regret it, but now i don't.

JENNIFER - posted on 01/30/2011

I was not in your specific situation so i cant tell you weather its a good idea or not. I was married to a really bad man, I had two kids and on my second on i told my doctor that i didnt want any more kids with this man cause I felt i would never be strong enough to leave him so during my c-section I had them go ahead and do my tubaligation . about a year ofter my youngest was born i finally left him and now i cant have anymore kids .. i would love to have kids with my new husband but the surgery to have my tubes untide is way too much. i regret it every day of my life now... you should think about this a little more you still have time left.. i personally wouldnt want anyone to regret something that they might not want sometime down the road.

Danielle - posted on 01/30/2011

I would wait if I were you. I got pregnant with my first at the age of 19 and when I had him I went through a horrible post pardom deppression. I became pregnant a second time and completely freaked b/c I was so afraid of it happening again. I had a c-section and told the dr to go ahead with the tubal while he was in there. He tried to talk me out of it and then tried to talk me into waiting 6 wks and coming back if that's what I wanted but as hard headed as I am I said no. Now my children are 7 and 4 and I wish every single day that I hadn't chosen that road b/c I would love to have a third child now.

Rachel - posted on 01/29/2011

I would definitely wait. Do you and your boyfriend plan to marry? If not what if you break up and meet someone else and marry and then he would like children with you? There's definitely a lot of birth control methods as well as just natural ways to keep from getting pregnant.

Katherine - posted on 01/29/2011

LOL I am in your shoes. I am 29 with a 10 yr stepson(currently notliving with us) 8 yr 4yr and 16 weeks pregnant. Not planned. My husband wants one more. :) ! I was going to get my tubes tied after my last one because the pregnancy not going so well. I couldnt bring myself to do it.I am happy I didnt. I agreed to have another 2 years after this pregnancy. We both love kids and want moer. but toeach thier own.

Robin - posted on 01/29/2011

I have a heart condition. After my first child, my doctor wanted to do a tubal ligation. I said no for some reason, I was young, 27. He said I was high risk. Well, I got pregnant again at 30 and again at 40. No problems. I love my children with all my heart, they are a blessing to me. I def. would not have a tubal, I read about a family that had a couple of children and there was an accident. The children died. The couple had no other children at the time, but was able to have more later. Having a tubal is an important choice. I don't believe that we should limit our children. but then my situation is different than others. Children are a gift from God, Also your situation might change with your partner. A break up, or such. You might meet someone else you fall deeply in love with and want to have children with that person. You never know. Def. wait, you are so young. And 3 children really isn't that many. I had a grandmother that had 12. Now thats a bundle! Be patient. You may change your mind. You never know what God has in store for you and your family.

Christy - posted on 01/29/2011

Yes, wait. You NEVER know what the future may bring!

I am 37 and had my last baby at 34. I refused to get a tubal b/c of the POSSIBLE side effects. Not to scare you. Just wait, and when you are ready, do your research beforehand.

Melinda (Mindy) - posted on 01/29/2011

Thank you all for your advice :) I dont have any doubt what so ever..its just so hard to predict how I will feel later. I think I may just go with the IUD and wait the 4 years to be sure.
Thank you all so much for your input!

Bonnie - posted on 01/28/2011

There is nothing wrong with waiting a few years to see if you may change your mind, but if you think that you may be worried of a potential pregnancy coming along then I would get it done.