Having a hard time transitioning, any suggestions?

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I became a stay at home mom in March and am having a really hard time adjusting to my new role. I have 2 boys of my own and live with my fiance and his son. My oldest son, who is 9, has ADHA, intermittent explosive disorder and is on a waiting list to be tested for aspergers, so he is a handful to say the least. My youngest son, who is 6, is very helpful and well behaved but the my finance's son, who is 9, thinks he doesn't have to listen to me and can do what he wants. I am SUPER overwhelmed. My fiance works up to 12 hours a day and when he gets home he just wants to relax. I have talked to him about me being stretched so thin and all he says is go get a job. Clearly that would be ideal but with my older son having the issues he has its not so easy to send him to daycare. I started taking my Xanax again...which I really don't want to be on!!! I am hanging on by a thread and I am running out of options. I have tried charts, and reward systems, and planned field trips and events, taken away toys, time outs and nothing has seemed to work. I love my kids more than anything in this world but I am going insane. Please if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them!

Thank you and have a blessed day!

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[deleted account]

Bethany- I think that I need help in all areas!!! My kids are not in school right now as it is summer time! I should be enjoying my time with them not feeling stressed out and overwhelmed.

I love my kids with all my heart and they mean the world to me and I would and do everything for them. I just think I'm having a hard time dealing with the transition. I feel like I have to step back in time to the June Cleaver era. That's not my idea of a stay at home mom. I think running a household should be 50/50 and it was until I was laid off and we made the decision that it would be better for the kids for me to stay home.

I just need my fiance to see that being a stay at home mom is not easy, and that it would help me out so much if when he got home he could help out a little more. He thinks I sit on the couch all day! We have a full day everyday during the week that usually starts around 5:30am. the house is always clean, dinner is always on the table and the kids and taken care of.

Bethany - posted on 06/23/2012

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I'm sorry, you say your husband 'just wants to relax'?! oh my god! Then what the hell does he think you want to do at the end of your day, and what does he think you do all day? really, what does he really think?! and how is getting a job helping you or him or your kids or your marriage?

Is your post about disciplining your kids, establishing a SAHM routine, or husband issues, cause you have alot going on there. Are any of your kids in school?

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