help!!!

Nayuribe - posted on 01/08/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my 4 year old daughter is asking about "god". i myself am agnostic, my bf is, well, he doesn't know what he is, but his mother pracitces judaism. every time my daughter visits her grandma, she comes home talking about god and i honestly have no clue what to tell her. i've told her that around the world, there are different people who believe in different things. but all she remembers is what her grandma tells her. i have nothing againts religion, i just want my daughter to find the right one for her, on her own! i've tried talking to my mil, but seems to forget what i say in a second, she's like that about everything. but, how can i teach my daughter about god and religion, if i don't have one?

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Ali - posted on 01/08/2011

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I am also an agnostic and the rest of my family christians. your mother in law is most likely doing this on purpose but your daughter isn't following a religion she is asking about religion just try your best to answer what she is asking. she want always be as impressionable as she is now. She's just a little girl with a courious mind. Maybe buy her a book about it? But i suggest you talk to the in-law again!

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Mabel - posted on 01/15/2011

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check out Atheist Moms on here .there are a lot of people on who can help answer questions like this and have even been through this themselves.

Heather - posted on 01/15/2011

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You can try a book or family guy :) KIDDING! Your best bet might be describing to her that religion is believing in something bigger than yourself and that when she gets older she is more than welcome to try different things to figure out where she fits if she wants too. Agnostic here as well for me and my husband. His mother is a lunatic and my dad is so relaxed about religion that you could skip stones in a lake. good luck

Renae - posted on 01/15/2011

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I was brought up in a strict religious household - daily bible study, preaching door to door 3 times per week, church 3 times per week etc etc. I am no longer religious and I guess I'm an atheist if I had to label it.

I intend to teach my child about the bible. I will read him bible stories and inform him of what is in the bible. My mother is not allowed to discuss religion with him at all! Years ago my sister and I forbid her from talking about it to our husbands (boyfriends at the time) and mum agreed she would not bring the topic up but if they brought it up then she would discuss it - ah ha if they are silly enough to bring it up then they are on their own! lol

I think that educating a child about what is in the bible, who "god" is - or who many people think he is - and telling them they can make their own choice when they are an adult should hopefully ward off any further curiosity.

Aislinn - posted on 01/14/2011

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While I can sympathize with not believing the same as your in-laws, however, it is entirely possible that your mil is not trying to influence your daughter but just practicing her typical observances. If that is the case, it would be wrong for you to ask her to stop doing so around your daughter.

These questions are hard but something you would have had to deal with eventually. Good luck

Lucille - posted on 01/14/2011

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Just because you don't believe or have a specific type doesn't mean you can't tell her. My husband is a faithful Roman Catholic, I don't have religion, I don't believe in what I can't see pretty much. When she asks about God tell her he's a friend to many people who listens carefully and can be comforting in ways that most wouldn't suspect. He's not a friend who respondes with words and he's not someone we see but like a special friend that people see in different ways.

Tell your mother in law that she needs to respect you because this is your daughter not her's. It's not her place to pick life choices for your little girl. My husband's grandmother refuses to listen to anything involving my son. She's started listening a little because I told her that if she didn't she wouldn't see her great grandson. She doesn't like me much because I don't let her walk all over me. (italian families are a little odd to deal with) if she doesn't want to listen to you do what you think is going to be best for your little girl and your sanity. But for you daughter refer to God as a special friend who's different to everyone and listens when you need him. That's how it was explained to me as a little girl

Candi - posted on 01/13/2011

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I am a Christian, but my sister and BIL are agnostic as well as most of my friends (weird how that works), but anyway, a book is a great idea. You can read it to her at night as a bedtime story. Just a piece at a time. Too much at once may confuse her or raise more questions you aren't prepared for. Also, ask your MIL if she would like to take your daughter to church one day. If thats too much for you, then maybe you should go with her to a non-denominational church. A community center, worship center, or something like that. Your daughter may enjoy it. She may meet people there her age or she may decide religion is not for her. No sense in keeping her away from it. If she is curious, indulge her. Feed her curiosity though. Don't brush her off. Listen to her wishes.

Stefie - posted on 01/13/2011

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I am have a similar problem. I was raised Christian. But, as a young adult I studied religion and found I believed in parts of different religion. I really want my kids to understand many of the different types of religion and believe in what fits them because they deep down believe and not because it is what they were taught.
For now, I teach my two year old that God made her and the whole world. And that God loves her. It is the message she gets in the Sunday School my mother takes her to.
I think little kids need to be first shown one religion so they can learn right and wrong, and what spirtuality is. Then they can be shown more complex ideas, like comparing religions.

Karla - posted on 01/13/2011

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I talked in general terms to my son, like 'people believe god made us and the earth.' When he was 4 he told me there were 2 gods and had this whole theory. Now he goes to a catholic school and I am still vague about some questions. I often point out different beliefs and try to get him to tell his beliefs instead of giving a firm answer. I think beliefs have to make sence to you and they can change over time. I want him to have good morals but the details (what is heaven/hell etc) are less important to me.

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I'm a Christian and the thing that you said that stuck with me is you want her to choose what is right for her... I understand she is young, but maybe this is right for her. i know you say you are agnostic, but they say children are more sensitive to the "unknown" Maybe she knows there is something out there or around her and is trying to figure it out and this is the only thing that makes sense to her small mind, since its the only deff. answer she is being given.

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