This conversation has been closed to further comments
Alicia - posted on 05/28/2013
Jeramie Ibrahim and Lena are right. Daddy need to be the one to discipline her as well. she may also be feeling like you are trying to be her mommy and not her bio mom. you could as a family make some house rules and let her come up with ones that shes going to be willing to follow also get her involved with the new baby now like showing her the ultrasounds ask her if she wants one to keep just for her so she can show her friends. let her know that this is her baby too. and that the baby is going to love her so much let her listen to your belly and try to hear the baby when baby is moving let her feel. if you havent chosen a name ask her what she wants to name the baby. does she have any dollys? let her learn to bath the dolly and change the clothes and diaper. if you have any bottles that she can have let her learn to rock baby and feed the dolly a bottle. all these things we did with our kids when their younger sisters were born. this may help. and try to figure out things that she is have trouble with. as for the 'i dont know' part she does know she just doesnt want to get into trouble i watched a study that was done and filmed about kids of all ages and they understand that if they tell the truth they are going to get into trouble. let her know that telling the truth is always the best way and when she does tell the truth dont yell or give her trouble tell her 'thank -you for telling me the truth that was good i like that very grown up of you. what else could we have done instead of....?' this seems to be working with my 4 1/2 yr old. and she is telling the truth more instead of 'i dont know'
be excited about your new baby congrats.
Rachelle - posted on 05/27/2013
And one last thing,I understand ur fears and ur resentment towards her mother..but please don't hate the child. Wen she says she doesn't know,she genuinely doesn't..it is hard but for the sake of ur family, da unborn baby and dis girl,get her assessed and helped ASAP. Ask outright about autism..she is not bold,cruel, cold, and ignorant...she is autistic..and once she gets helped and u understand it more, things will turn around...
Rachelle - posted on 05/27/2013
Oh and as for everyone else and their discipline advice... Tell dem wer to stick it.. Trying to get discipline to work on an autistic child is like trying just willpower to stop a very bad case of diahorrea...IT WILL NOT BLOODY WORK....good luck
Rachelle - posted on 05/27/2013
Seriously?? Ur child is autistic... I'm no professor but I'm the mother of an autistic child... And everything she does, my son does... Please get her some help before she's too old for therapy a to work. As for ur husband? Ignorance is bliss but u need to get her sorted out with help asap
Jeramie - posted on 05/22/2013
I agree with Lena that her daddy really needs to be the main force of discipline and also comfort for this little girl. you all need to be very consistent and immediate in your correcting of bad behavior, and also rewarding of good behavior. My daughter was becoming a little hellion around the time my son was born, and I had to train myself to deal with her correctly. reading parenting blogs actually gave me lots of good ideas. Another thing- after my son was born, I started feeling so overwhelmed with my daughter and like I didn't want to spend time or effort on her because I was busy with the baby. This may be even worse for you since she is not your biological child. This may be a good time for your husband to spend more quality time with his children. Try to get him to take the other kids out of the house and leave you alone to take care of the baby as much as he can, like on weekends, or his days off. It will allow you to relax more without the distractions and stresses the other kids cause.
But when they are there, try not to treat them like they are burdensome. It is hard on kids when there is a new baby, and they think they are losing their place in the family, or your heart. plenty of parenting blogs have good advice in this area, as well.
If you really are afraid for your baby's safety, make sure they are not left alone together. Don't let them sleep in the same room. get a bassinet for the baby and put it in your own room. Make it clear that the other children are not allowed in your room when the baby is sleeping, or ever, without mommy or daddy. Try to make all rules to apply to both older children, so the trouble maker doesn't feel singled out.
Carrie congratulations on your soon babys birth. What have you or your husband done to discipline her? I can honestly say she is having a difficult time with her parents seperation. Her whole world has been destroyed. What she knew to be safe and secure is gone. She may be acting mean but she is living in fear and at 5 is unable to express her feelings so she will hurt others so they feel how she is feeling. Her father needs to sit down and help her express how she feels ex "You're feeling scared because mommy and daddy aren't together any more right? Ask questions to show her you understand. Daddy needs to express his feelings to her so she can start feeling safe, loved, wanted, secure and needed. Too many times Ihave seen couples split meet someone new and the adults feel happy but somhow the child always feels left out. You fell inlove with this man but did the children have time to fall in love with you? Who knows what mommy is saying to make things worse but communication and having her feel special is so important. She is angry feeling so lost she needs to be reminded she IS and always WILL be daddys little girl. Don't take it personal but she may be blaming you thinking you are the reason for this mess in her life. My heart breaks for all of you especially the children who always are the ones who get hurt. The phsycologist should help but daddy has to be the main guy here. He is all she has left He needs tostart facing the reprocutions that happen insplit ups. Everything will work out if loving action is taken. God Bless I am putting youon my prayer list and please be safe with your baby and remain excited.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms