Help any advise???

Shaquana - posted on 09/13/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello All

My story is a little different because Im a lesbian mom of two of my own and a step daughter. Anyway I could use a little help because my partner is stuck in the older days when the mother was the stay at home mother and did everything for the family with no if ands or buts about it and no complaints and I feel like Im college educated and Im so sick of sitting in the house I have no vehicle all of the kids are in school now why should I have to stay home? I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I cant go anywhere or do anything Im alone I have no friends no one to confide in noone to talk to about anything and I can only get online every once in a while because I have to use the internet access on her phone. Anyway what hurts the most is one day she claims she understand where im coming from and wants to know what can she do to help me out and then the next day its suck it up because there are stay at home mothers that would love to be put in the situation that you are in. I could be asking so much more from you but I dont!!!! Thats bull just because our life is not like the next couples does not down grade how I feel about our situation and what I want and need. If Im wrong please somebody let me know. Im sick of sitting in the house doing nothing and just recently I was offered a job a great one at that and she made me feel so bad about it that I turned it down she was like whos going to watch the kids whos going to do this whos going to do that. I just need a little advise please someone help me I have noone else.I feel like im losing my mind!!! If its not her way its wrong and I cant take it anymore what about me??? Any comments or advise would be greatly appreciated!!!!! Thank you!!!



Liz - posted on 09/13/2012




I know how you feel. You feel stuck and your hands are tied behind your back. You are a SAHM and you need to feel loved, respected, and treated like a woman. You have needs too. It is not all about cooking, cleaning and taking care of everyone else. You have to take care of yourself too. What about taking a part-time job? Many woman feel stuck because they have kids and they have to stay for financial reasons. No one should make you feel bad about yourself. She sounds like she is very controlling and you probably already know that, but you feel like you can't do anything about it. I am a SAHM of 3. I get so depressed being home all the time, so I am trying to reach out to other people too. When I realized that I am the only person that can change my life, I started taking classes for nursing. I have been going to school off and on for ten years and I may 80 when I get my degree, but I know that this is for me. This is the only thing that I have for me. You really need to exam what you want from this life. I know the kids are at the center of your world but if you are not O.K. They will not be O.K. You are like are probably living life through your girlfriend and your kids. They are your source to the outside world. I know this sounds so small but...start walking, or take up a hobby. If I were you...I would do what you feel will make you happy and better your life. We all know what we need to do but it sooooooooooo........hard to take the first step. It is O.K. to take baby steps. This is how we learn to walk. Liz

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