Help! everyone I live with is a complete slob! I'm losing my mY mind. Does stay at home mom=maid???

Jesse - posted on 09/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband works from home. 3 kIds ,11,9,4. No one lifts a finger but me. My husband is the worst and is downright discusting. I know that as a stay at home mom most of the general cleaning and running around falls to me and I'm ok with that. But no one else lifts a finger. I clean, cook, take out trash, mow the yard, clean up the dog poop, dr's appts, errands, fix broken things, if u can think of it I do it. My husband blames it on his ADHD. My kids have very busy schedules and say they don't have enough time to pick up. I am pulling my hair out and the Only time any one helps is when I reach a breaking g point and I end up yelling at them. I don't like this and I am clueless as to how to get them to say put their dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor right in front of it. I seriously think it would take me going behind all of them to make sure they do it. And there are 4 of them and one of me. Sigh.... Please help!

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The 9 and 11 year old can buy their own clothes with allowance, right? I would give them one week to get in the habit of putting the clothes in the hamper, then tell them that if you find any clothes on the floor, they are being donated to charity. You'll only have to donate one or two things. (You could also try not washing anything not placed in the hamper until they run out of clothes, but I've found this just results in a big pile accumulating until they run out of clothes then it all gets put in at once and takes 4 days to wash it all)



As for hubby, I have ADD too, and I understand his frustrations, but he needs to be working out solutions for for it, not just resigning to it. This is what I would do (I do this for myself). Make a list of the things you want him to do when he gets home every day--even if you want him to take out the trash every evening, it needs to be on the physical list, and the list needs to have a little variety to it, or he will trick himself into believing he knows what's on it and stop looking. Give him about 30 minutes to wind down then show him the list and very nicely ask him to help you out with the tasks. He might be offended that you think he needs a list, so let him know you were jotting them down so you wouldn't forget to ask him, then you thought it would be good for him too because you know his ADD can get him distracted sometime. Ask him how he likes the list idea and if there is anything he can think of that might help--he'll be a lot more willing to cooperate if he feels he has some say.



I also second the chore chart--everyone has standard chores (clean room, make sure clothes are in hampers/closets, etc) and family chores (wash dishes, vacuum, etc.) Standard chores every day for everyone, but let them take turns on family chores, and let them have a break from family chores on days they have a lot of sports or homework.

Tyla - posted on 09/07/2012

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I am a stay at home mom with a 2 year old and my husband who is also a complete slob!! I try to tell myself that he works so I should do most the cooking and cleaning but now all because I dont just have to take care of the house I also have to take care our son so it is only fair he also pitch in. I pick one day every one or two weeks on a weekend and make him help me super clean the house like clean the walls, baseboards, dust really well, all that stuff and do any rearanging that I feel needs to be done. If he will not help I just dont clean for a couple days except my kitchen and he starts to realize how much work I do and he helps

S. - posted on 09/07/2012

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I am a nag, I hate it but it's the only way I get things done. Yes I cook, clean, and do the D.I.Y but if I cook my oldest daughter or husband wash the pots. I don't wash clothes if it's not in the wash basket and I tell them that if "that thing is on the bathroom floor when I go bk in I'll put it in the bin" and I would do. My daughter gets pocket money for the few jobs she has and if she hasn't done them the pocket money gets docked.

I would totally go on strike if ppl didn't help me out! Tell your hb that he is teaching your kids how to be lazy and disrespectful and on that note if the kids say that their to busy to do stuff for you I'd make them less busy and see how they like missing dance class or football (you get the idea) Ha ha I think I'm just nasty bitch honestly my family do like me........ I think :)

Katherine - posted on 09/07/2012

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Chore chart! Time to buckle down. EVERYONE should be helping! That's just not acceptable behavior. Don't let them walk all over you! If they continue, go on strike. I'm dead serious. They can do their own laundry and cleaning and everything else. ADHD is a lame excuse.

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