help my baby still hasnt slept through the night

Alicia - posted on 12/02/2010 ( 38 moms have responded )

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My baby is almosy ten months old and still has yet to sleep through the night or even 5-6 hr stretch.Ive researched online for tips and tried everything i can think of. His doctor isnt concerned go figure. I first assumed hes waking up hungry so i have tried feeding a warm bowl of cereal before bed and of course his milk.. it helped a little one night he slept for three hours straight and then got up almost every hr after that. I do think that hes been having nightmares so that could be part of why hes not sleeping,but what would cause him to have nightmares. I usually also have him in bed with him so when i did have him in his crib i thought he was having seperation anxiety,,, but he even wakes up a lot when hes in bed with me. im clueless and desperate for to get a full night sleep.

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[deleted account]

Teething is why it happens here. Does he wake up screaming like my girl does? I used to think it was nightmares until I heard the scream which was clearly pain.

Momof1 - posted on 12/02/2010

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I just posted this else where, but it may help you too. :)

My son started sleeping 12 hours at 9 months. I don't know if any of what we did is why, but I'll tell you what we did.
Bryce hit a really rough patch between 7 and 8 months, waking up every 2 hours sometimes even every hour. I don't believe in CIO, so I never tried that. I always nursed him back to sleep.

I was at my wits end, though, so I told my husband that we were going to let him cry for 10 minutes before I would go nurse him. I started (about 2 weeks before he turned 9 months) nursing him, and then changing his diaper and putting him down. He learned how to fall asleep on his own. Then a week before is when I started letting him cry before getting out of bed and getting him. The first 2 days he woke up 3 times and fell back to sleep on his own once. The next two nights he woke up twice and didn't fall back to sleep on his own, then the last 2 nights he woke up once. Then he started sleeping through. He also ate dinner with us at around 5:30/6, then I would give him oatmeal at 6:30, then nurse him at 7. Then he is in bed by 7:30. (That's actually still our routine.) Like I said, I don't know if any of this is the reason he started sleeping, but if this helps you, then I'm glad I posted.

Renae - posted on 12/06/2010

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Your baby needs to learn to put himself to sleep without you in the room. Once he can do that he will sleep for longer stretches. It is unlikely that his waking is due to nightmares at his age, or anything to do with hunger.

You have said that you do not want to do CIO, that is fine, you dont have to. There are several no-cry methods you can use. I will give you instructions for 2 methods you can choose from, you are welcome to contact me if you have any questions.

First method is "Gradual Withdrawal". This method is recognised and commonly used by infant behaviourists.
1. Get him used to being put in his cot relaxed but awake and pat or jiggle him until he is fast asleep.
2. After a few days when he is used to going to sleep this way, stop patting a little bit sooner, just after he goes to sleep.
3. After a few more days, stop patting just after he closes his eyes but is not asleep.
4. Then just as he is about to close his eyes.
5. Then when he looks really sleepy.
6. At this point time how long you are patting for (probably 10 minutes) and reduce the time by 1 minute every couple of days until you just put him down and walk away and he goes to sleep without crying.
7. If you stop and try to leave the room and he cries (which will happen especially in the first week), pick him up, calm him down, put him back in the cot and start again. You may have to start again up to 5 times the first week.
8. Wait until he completely masters each step (3-5 days) before moving on to the next step. The whole process will take 3-12 weeks depending on the baby. Be consistent every time he goes to sleep, day and night.
9. Expect him to have 2 phases of regression where things are going really well, then seem to go backwards for a few days - stick with it, this is very normal, regressions usually occur at the halfway point and right at the end (just as you think you are nearly there). If the regression lasts longer than one week, then it is not a regression, it is a sign you have moved too fast, go back to the last step that was working and try again.

Second method is the Pick Up / Put Down technique invented by Tracey Hogg. This is not commonly recognised but many people say it works. There is also a support forum on her website for people using the method which I'm sure you will find if you google it.
1. Put him in the cot awake.
2. When he cries pick him up straight away. Do not pat, stroke, rock, bounce or anything you would normally do, just cuddle him close until he completely calms down. Then put him back down in the cot.
3. Repeat... repeat... repeat. If you put him down and he doesn't cry, leave the room and leave him to go to sleep, if he cries go back in and repeat some more. Until you put him down and he goes to sleep.
4. You could be repeating this over 150 times as a worst case and it could take a few hours. Tracy Hogg recommends you count, so you can see how the number of times you have to pick him up is reducing every few nights.
5. Do this every time he goes to sleep, day and night.
6. The number of times you have to pick him up should reduce by one quarter every few nights, which means it should take at worst a few weeks.
7. You should see definate progress within the first week. If you do not see progress I recommend you change to the first method (it takes longer but as it is based on proper behaviour modification techniques it will work).

Also remember that CIO methods need to be repeated around 3-4 times per year, when the baby gets sick or teeths. Behaviour modification however is a permanent learning process that will instill good sleeping habits long term.

You are welcome to contact me with any questions.

Christine - posted on 12/06/2010

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Sometimes when babys wake up at the same hour every night its out of habit. i think the first step to getting ur baby to sleep is by teaching him to self settle during the day on his own. After hes been fed, played and is content. When he's showing tired signs put him in his bed. Let him grizzle for a minute or two. I put a clock in my sons bed which is white noise. When he gets upset and has grizzled for a little while before he cries i go in their and pat him on his leg firmly so he knows im there for comfort but im not going to pick him up. When hes calmed down i walk out again and keep repeating the same thing over and over until he falls asleep. He then knows you mean business. So long as ur baby is fed and has a clean nappy they have no excuse to be upset and only cry because of habit.

Also having a night time routine is essential. With our boy we do bath, nappy on, massage, pjs, a little bit of talk and then the lights go dim when its feed time. I ensure i put him down awake as he will then know where he is and wont freak out during the night. A baby at 10 months is more then capable of sleeping thro the night. (my sons only 3.5 months and does so for 9 hr stretches) so when he wakes up give him water. He'll eventually realise there's no point in waking up coz hes not going to get any food/milk. Tried this technique and after 3 nights noah stopped waking up. I did ensure he had 5/6 good feeds during the day which stopped him from not being hungry at night. Also if he uses a dummy try and give it to him before offering food, try patting him back to sleep! hope this helps. Good luck xx

Sarah - posted on 12/04/2010

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ALL babies and children and adults wake up several times at night. The question is to what extent. By adulthood, the vast majority of people have been able to teach themselves to fall back asleep with little effort; so little that most people don't remember waking up at all. With babies and children, this skill is not developed fully, so they can wake up and become frustrated. As it goes with most things, some babies take longer than others to learn to put themselves back down. Beginning with putting him down sleepy, but not quite asleep, could help. He will at this point begin to understand that being awake doesn't mean its time to get up. When he does wake up, wait for a few minutes to see if he will fall asleep on his own. If the crying lasts more than 10 minutes, don't speak to him unless necessary, and then only in short, quiet whispers. "bedtime" should be all you say, if anything. Then, put him back down and leave the room. Wait no more than 15 minutes, and if he's still crying then do it again. It takes consistency, patience, and probably a few sleepless nights, but you will be thankful in the long run when you both sleep better.

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Caroline - posted on 12/07/2010

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I noticed some of the replies recommended routine and I am a huge believer in routines. My son is now 6 months old and he has slept 11-12 hours a night in his own bed since he was 2 months old. My husband and I give him a bath between 7/7.30 then he get a bottle with formula and some rice cereal and then I sing him a lullaby and put him in his crib. I then give him his stuffed animal and put on a music box and let him fall asleep on his own. Some night it takes a few times going in there to turn the music box on again and put his pacifier back in his mouth, but he's usually asleep within 10 min. So try to find a routine that works for you and give it a try. Good luck=)

[deleted account]

Have you tried to get him attached to a blanket or teddy bear? This would allow him to start self soothing himself back to sleep. My son didn't sleep through the night till 18 months but he would wake up only once or twice a night. I would give him the bear and he eventually learned to cuddle the bear and fall back to sleep w/o me.

Amanda - posted on 12/06/2010

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probably teething! my son is 13.5 mos old...and we still have that problem everyonce in a while! However...he did that alot....and my doc suggested letting him cry it out...and that works..its hard un us...but he has to learn to put himself to sleep without your assistance. Music helps my son fall asleep, and stay asleep, and i always give him a snack before bed....if hes doing this all the time, he could be overtired....which makes it even harder for them to fall asleep.

Stifler's - posted on 12/06/2010

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He's probably teething if he's 10 months and only has 4 teeth!! My kid refused to go to sleep when he was in pain too.

Renae - posted on 12/06/2010

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PS A lot of people seem confused about why their baby did or did not sleep through the night at a young age. 75% of babies will sleep through the night, when they are physiologically ready, by 6 months of age, REGARDLESS of anything the parents do or do not do - it is a developmental and biological issue, not environmental or behavioural one. The other 25% of babies need to learn how to go to sleep on their own in order to sleep through. The majority of this 25% will teach themselves by the time they are 12 months without you doing anything. A small percentage of babies will never sleep through until they are taught to go to sleep on their own, the most effective way to do this is through a slow learning process of behaviour modification, an example of this is the method described above.

Radhika - posted on 12/06/2010

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happens with my baby too.shes only 1 1/2 months old and I have to nurse her to sleep even after I give her a bottle....and this usually happens after every 2 and 2 1/2 hrs......not to mention the diaper/nappy changes also wake her up....sometimes the gaseouness also keeps her awake and then its really difficult to make her go back to sleep.Usually gripe water works.

Kathi - posted on 12/05/2010

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If you don't like the cry it out method, let him cry for 5 min. It'll seem like forever, but it's really not. Then go give him some comfort, but don't rock or feed him to sleep. Then, let him cry it out for 10 min. and keep working up in 5 min. incriments. It took me 3 days of doing this with my first born, and on the 4th day, I put her down, she fussed for 1 min. and then that was it. She learned to self soothe and slept wonderfully ever since. You could also try reading "On becoming Babywise". It's helped everyone I know who's tried it. Good luck!

Nicole - posted on 12/05/2010

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For teething I will rub hurricane one my sons teeth. He has two molars coming in and doesn't want to eat and is up a little more lately at night. But when he is not teething he will still wake up for a bottle or two during the night. I have learned to just give him the bottle, check his diaper and leave. I dont say anything to him. If he has a wet diaper I change it right in his crib. Otherwise, he does not want to go back in his crib and wants to sleep with me. I have also started to wait a few minutes before getting out of bed during the night. I know the different between his bottle cry and his cry where he is just uncomfortable and than I dont get up and he will fall right back to sleep. Trust me, just letting him cry is the hardest thing I have ever do and I hate.Though It has worked wonders and I am actually starting to get better nights sleep.

Chantal - posted on 12/05/2010

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Sorry to hear about your sleep issues! There's always ups and downs when it comes to sleep... i was thinking: do you nurse him to sleep and then put him in his crib when he's out cold? If yes, then you may want to start putting him down when he's just drowsy and about to nod off. Since we all natural wake up through the night the only way your little guy knows how to go back to sleep is with you and boob! :) (I"ve been there) So start slow. If, however you are already doing this i would suggest a variation of CIO. This is what my husband and I did (we would take turns) The first time: let him cry 2-3 minutes then go in reassure him by patting him, picking him up, etc (but no nursing) as soon as he stops crying, put him down and repeat... I think it's called the pick up/ put down method. Check out The baby whisperer, that's her method anyway and no traumatic CIO. Good Luck!

Tiffany - posted on 12/05/2010

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It could be teething or even acid reflux. Have you noticed any signs of acid reflux? Some babies unfortunately just don't sleep through the night for awhile. Is he napping during the day? You may want to cut down on the naps. Schedules are key. My daughter is on a schedule but the last 6 weeks it's been off and on because of her teething. If you want a full nights sleep, the best advice I can give is to have your hubby and you take turns on who gets up. Even 2 nights a week of you getting a full nights sleep will help. Good Luck! =)

[deleted account]

will he take a pacifier?

I put 6 or 7 pacifiers in my son's crib with him at night. When he woke up he'd find one and suck on it. If he kept crying, I knew he was hungry, so I'd go in and nurse him. If he fell back asleep, then I knew all he needed was a little comfort- provided by the pacifier, not mum!

good luck!

Amanda - posted on 12/05/2010

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I'm sorry I don't know what this is like. my son has slept through the night since he was 6 months old. and quite frankly I don't know how we did it lol.. I know that he wakes up sometimes but he puts himself back to sleep. when he goes to bed we tell him goodnight and give him his sippy cup of water and say I love you and leave the room. sometimes he cries, but he will put himself to sleep after a few min. try not jumping up to get him?? idk if you do that but wait a few min and see if he will put himself to sleep.. good luck

Shara - posted on 12/04/2010

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he could just be lonely, i put a small bear beside my ten month old and he sleeps for hours in the night now. Try cutting the day sleeps shorter but this might make it more disturbed of a night but it worked for my son i was lucky. Good luck though, my nephew still doesnt sleep through and he is three nearly four.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/04/2010

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Hi Alicia, sorry you are having a difficult time with ur lil one sleeping through the night. I have a 22 mnth daughter and a 7 mnth old son........from what their ped explained, ( which consist of at least 6 to 8 hrs straight) is more of a developmental. My daughter gave me a little bit of a hard time but I know it was bc I tought her to rely on me to fall asleep. I didn't do it purposely but being a first time mom, I didn't know any better. I ended up cutting her naps down, allowing her to sleep no more than 1 1/2 two naps a day.....along with keeping her belly full which was also difficult bc she is not a good eater so I had to lots of snacks between meals. We made it a point to not make the same mistake with our son......it is amazing how it works! Since the first night we brought him, we always fed, burped, and put him down whether he was asleep, half asleep, or awake. We making bonding time when we feed him and make time to play with him when he is awake. He is doing 3- 6oz bottle + 3- 4oz baby food + 3 servings of warm oatmeal 3 TBL spoons each ( one of which is right before bed) You might want to try a little of the cry it out method for naps to see how he responds.....just make sure he has a full belly and remember it is a nap, I wouldn't let him go more than an 1 1/2........every baby is different so you may have to tweek meals and naps before you get the right combo. Good luck to you! I hope, I was able to help

Cybelle - posted on 12/04/2010

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Well give him a bath before he sleeps. My baby still wakes up at night because he breastfeeds. If I give him a bath at night he tends to sleep for 3-4 hours straight. I am hoping to stop breastfeeding when he is a little over a year, maybe he will sleep through the night by then. Good Luck!

Stephanie - posted on 12/04/2010

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my 2 year old is the same way wont sleep all night. He as nightmares to but dont know what to do either. His doc told me the samething that she is not concern. they will do it in there on time but im like you when. my son sleep with me to and still wake up alot. he only one time sleep 6 hours .

Stevee - posted on 12/04/2010

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Fear not my dear!! My son is 13 months and is just starting to sleep thru the night.

Kristen - posted on 12/04/2010

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i was watching super nanny last night. She had the mom sit in the babys room with her facing the door and her back on the baby. The baby would cry and cry but the mom couldnt give in. The reason super nanny had the mom sitting there is so the child would feel safe. Every time the child would get up, the mother would put him back without making a sound and go back to her position. When the baby woke up during the night, the mother would go back in to her position and not talk to the child. It worked really fast for them! but it was a huuuuge challenge for the momma. and after a while, the child was sleeping all night!

Crystal - posted on 12/04/2010

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My son is 2 years old and still doesnt sleep through the night. but he suffers from night terrors so that contributes extreamly to his waking. does your baby waking up in screaming fits and sometimes not recognise that you have come to comfot him. It is possible that he is suffering from nightmares. try leaving the window open a crack to allow freah air into the room and maybe even a noise machine might help . unfortunatly there is very little that can be done if it is night terrors and its something that he will eventualy learn to cope with and get through but its a bumpy journey. I wish you luck in finding out how to get some more sleep I know how hard it is being up constantly with your little one for such a long period of time

Andria - posted on 12/04/2010

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It could also be that he could possibly have gas. how does he sleep during the day? I agree sometimes you have to just let them cry it out. If u r stressed and iratable from lak of sleep that could also be affecting him. I strongly believe babies react to our moods and emotions.

Carol - posted on 12/03/2010

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my daughter is in the bed with me. I think that I am going to start giving her a snack before she goes down, like cereal or something that can hold her over for a while. Also, I think when she wakes up, I am going to have a sippy cup ready to see if she will take that to keep her stomach full. I will see if that works I dont know. I am just trying to keep her in her bed all night but It seems as if I she is in her bed for the first half of the night and then she is in mine because she constantly wakes up.. I will see. Good luck! All I want for christmas is 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Carol - posted on 12/03/2010

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I am having the same problem. My daughter is 14 months old and she has never slept through the night. I work a lot of hours and being awaken every night day after day is really starting to take a toll on me. I am starting the get headaches and everything. I dont know what to do. I am exhausted really.. last night when she woke I gave her apple juice with water mixed in a sippy cup and she went back to sleep. She wakes up at least 4 or 5 times at night and turns to breast feed.. i feed her dinner and then wash her before she goes to bed but it is really taking a toll on me. I am a single mom and dont know what to do, any advise would be appreciated. I think tonight i might try a bottle with some cereal. who knows? thanks

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

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My son was very similar. He started sleeping for more than an hour or two at 18 months. However, it turns out he horrible apnea due to enlarged tonsils (the doctor said they were among the largest he'd ever seen) and adenoids. He had both of them out about a month and a half ago, and we went from 2-3 hour stretches to waking up once a night. It might be worth looking in to. For us, the key signs were snoring, struggling to catch his breath when he did wake up, and frequent episodes of longer duration than normal in between breaths while he was asleep.

If that's not the case, I really recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution for helping with baby sleep issues. It was very practical and easy to get in to. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2010

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i hear you there, my mum said i was always awake as a baby and never drank over 120ml, but doesnt help me much,i pray for more than 3hrs sleep at a time! im not into the whole let them cry it out, are we hoping for a miricle??

Alicia - posted on 12/02/2010

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hm mine naps pretty good most of the time. he has already woken up once so far and only been asleep an hr. craziness> yeah i fed him at 7:30 and nursed him before bed at 8;30 and just nursed him again a few mins ago when he woke up. i dunno im clueless.

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2010

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my daughter is 7 months and im going through the same she wakes up 3 times a night for a bottle and wont drink over 120ml no matter what ive tryed feeding her custard and veggies before bed but it just doesnt seem to matter im sooooo sleep deprived mind you during the day she only cat naps too!!

Alicia - posted on 12/02/2010

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thank you for all the suggestions i will try anything except cio method i will to a certain extent it might be the thing i just need to do. hes in his crib right now he fell asleep at 8;30 usually hed be wakeing up pretty soon but i got my fingers crossed.

Alicia - posted on 12/02/2010

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its possible he has four teeth as of right now. one thing i havent tried too much is the cry out it method. although lastnight one time he woke up i didnt pick him up i just rubbed his head and see what hed do about a minute after crying he fell back asleep the next time he woke it didnt work so well.

Alicia - posted on 12/02/2010

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I think i do need to put him on a tighter sched but our routine is pretty consistent i know thats key.I just need to stick to putting him in his crib by time he wakes up the fourth time im ready to put him back in bed with me i just need to be more patient thank you though

[deleted account]

my middle daughter still wakes up in the night. she doesn't come in and get me or tell me anymore (thank goodness). but she's awake - wanders a bit then goes back to bed. she's almost 8.

Tara - posted on 12/02/2010

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Babies love routine...We have dinner around 6 and i give im a snack around 7 and then at 8 we give him a bath....after the bath he has a bottle and we put him to bed....Routine that's what i found that works best and when he wake's in the night i give him anywhere from 5 to 10 mins to fall back to sleep.....If he doesn't fall back to sleep i usully go and rock him back to sleep.....hope that helps

Jennifer - posted on 12/02/2010

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Sorry to tell you this, but some babies are just that way. My third child was up every 2 hours until he was 15 months old. I had tried everything also, and nothing worked until his body was just ready to do it. He will be 3 in Feb, and still wakes up at least one time most nights.

Larisa - posted on 12/02/2010

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he could be teething, try some baby advil. if that doesnt work you have to let them sleep in their own bed and cry it out its hard, but it will be whats best for you and him in the long run. :)

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